A Few Good Men
Tag to Inside Man
Dean is eating cereal in the kitchen when Sam gets back. He looks very innocent and not like a guy who hustled pool, encountered the mother of all witches and had drinks with the King of Hell. He felt like he should tell Sam about all the events of last night, probably also including the things he did to the kid's room but Sam seems….weird. Sam weird. Three decades of being Sam's big brother have him clued in. Sam did not go to a movie. That much Dean is sure of. His brother seems nervous, like he used to get caught with his five year old hand in Pastor Jim's cookie jar. Still, he knows it could just be him on edge. He didn't sleep while Sam was gone. Fear of the nightmares returning and the inescapable need to wait up for Sam added with what he himself was concealing might cloud his judgment and he didn't want to accuse Sam of anything. He'd rather Sam just tell him. But as per usual he was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen.
"So, how was your night?" Sam asked. "What did you do?" He reached into the fridge for orange juice and poured it into a glass. Dean cringed. He felt he couldn't tell Sam everything.
"Went to the bar, played a little pool, couple of drinks. Not too much. It was kinda boring." Ha. It was anything but.
"Played pool or hustled pool", Sam asked, amusement in his voice. Dean smiled, a real smile.
"What's the difference? Okay. I won six hundred bucks." He grinned. Sam shook his head. Even in the middle of the worst fight of his life full of fighting, his brother still thought he was hot stuff at pool, which he was.
"Well," Sam said, leaning against the counter, drinking his juice, "at least you stayed out of any real trouble". Oh Sammy you have no idea. "Hey I'm gonna go clean up okay?" He turned to go and Dean resumed eating his cereal. He wasn't really hungry anymore but it gave him something to do. God he was tired. He wondered when the last time he had really slept, free of nightmares, was. He scrubbed a hand down his face. He wanted so bad to tell Sam about his dreams, about Cain, what he said. But that wasn't Dean. He needed to protect Sam, to keep him from worrying any more than he already was. Dean sighed and put his bowl in the sink. He headed down the hall to his room, thinking a nap might be a good idea. Later he smiled wryly to himself, he really should go out and get Sam a new toothbrush.
As he passed Sam's room, he paused. Something wasn't quite right. His Sam radar was on heightened alarm. He listened at the door. What he heard was muffled sobbing. Okay. Something was wrong. More wrong than usual. He put his hand on the knob. Wait Dean. Maybe Sam needs to be alone. He waited, to see if the sounds of sobbing went away. It didn't. If anything it escalated. Screw it, I'm going in. He turned the knob and pushed, not realizing his brother was leaning against the door on the other side. "Sammy?" Said brother was knocked slightly off his feet and went stumbling forward, dropping the paper he was holding in his hand.
"Dean?, what the hell?" he fumed, scrambling to reach Bobby's letter before Dean could. Dean beat him to it. He picked up the letter and the handwriting was unmistakable. Bobby. Sam wiped the tears off his face and looked at his brother. Who was reading the letter. Dean looked up at Sam, tears glistening in his own green eyes, with a look of confusion, and maybe a trace of anger and maybe some other emotions.
Dean held the letter out towards Sam without relinquishing it. "What you're doing for Dean, Sammy? Just what are you doing for me and how the hell does Bobby know?" Sam just looked at him, tears falling silently. "Sam? Care to share with the class?"
Sam said "Ok Dean, here's the thing. I uh didn't exactly go to a movie last night." His brother raised his eyebrow in that sarcastic Dean way he had.
"So I gather. Where did you go Sammy?" there was an edge to Dean's voice. Sam knew he was close to losing his temper. He had to avoid getting Dean angry in his current…state.
"Hey Dean, look, just sit down man. Okay? I'll tell you everything." Dean didn't budge. Sam indicated the chair at the desk. "Please Dean". Something about the look in Sam's eyes, made Dean sit down. Sam's afraid you're going to hulk out. The fact that Sam felt afraid of him tempered Dean's anger a little. He looked up at Sam.
"I'm listening," he said folding his arms and leaning back. Sam seemed nervous. He didn't quite look at Dean as he pulled up the arm chair and sat fairly close to his brother. He knew this was something he couldn't not tell Dean. Lying of this proportion always came back to bite them in the ass later. Sam leaned forward and clasped his hands, resting them on his knees. When he finally did look at Dean, his brother was calm, a tense face betraying a hint of hurt, at being left out? Of jealousy that Sam had a letter from Bobby? Sam wasn't sure just yet. He treasured the letter, almost more than anything he owned but as hard as it had been for Sam when Bobby died, it almost ended Dean the sorrow was so great.
Can he do it Sam? Cas had asked. He's Bobby. He can do anything. "Dean, Cas and I…we , we've been trying to find a cure for the mark…" Dean cut him off suddenly.
"Sam I said I didn't want you to do that. Wait Cas is in this? Both of you and somehow Bobby are all going behind my back?" If there was one thing Dean didn't want was anyone getting hurt or troubling themselves for him.
"Dean,"Sam began, raising his hands just a little , "just hear me out okay? We met up and went to the portal for Heaven. Cas thought if we could get in he could get Metatron to.." Dean was on his feet. He was pacing, running his hands through his hair.
"Damn it Sammy. Metatron? You got Metatron out again?" He started towards the door and Sam stood too. He grabbed Dean's arm to stop him, and realized instantly he shouldn't have. Dean whirled around and a hard right hook collided with Sam's jaw and sent him sprawling into the closed door. H e couldn't believe Dean had actually hit him. Neither could Dean who looked first at Sam and down at his still clenched fist. I hit Sam for no good reason. Dean started to feel panic. And great remorse. He wanted to go to Sam but his little brother was rubbing his jaw and giving him a five year old Sammy look that crushed him. "Sam…I'm sorry…"he said, a little above a whisper. He moved a little closer, fists unclenched but not quite all the way. "Seriously Sammy. Please believe me I didn't want to, I didn't mean…" he reached out to Sam and very gently pulled him away from the door. He looked Sam right in the eyes and started to go, eyes on the floor.
"Dean! Where are you going?" Sam placed a hand on his shoulder, gripping it affectionately. Dean turned to look at him again and the sadness in his expression hurt Sam as well. "Hey, it's okay. Really Dean." Dean put his hand on Sam's chin and turned his face to look at the bruise spreading along his face.
"You need ice." Sam pushed his hand away. Dean wasn't sure how to take that so he just stood still and quiet.
"It's okay. Dean I need to tell you this Will you listen and not interrupt me?. " Dean nodded. The uncomfortable silence finally over, both brothers relaxed a little."We couldn't get in. The angels wouldn't let us. So we found this psychic who helped us contact Bobby in a séance.I actually talked to him Dean." He smiled a little. "He said his Heaven was drinking and reading the classics. I didn't see him. Cas told him how to open the gates and they broke Metatron out. Here's the thing Dean. Metatron was lying in the dungeon. But anyways, Cas got his grace. He's mortal Dean. I shot him in the leg. He's taking Cas to where Cas' grace is hidden. Swears at the risk of being shot again he's not lying about that. Cas gave me the letter. All that and it didn't help Dean. Just another dead end"
Dean was having a hard time grasping all Sam had said. He looked at Sam and his brother seemed so much smaller than the six foot four hunter. He could tell Sam was feeling like he failed. Dean thought about Bobby. If Bobby were here, he'd encourage Sam, tell him something to hang on to. Dean still thought it would always be a losing battle. But Sam needed something to keep fighting for and Dean wanted to give it to him. He put his hand on the back of Sam's neck and squeezed. "Bobby had it right Sammy. You are a good man, one of the best. You and Bobby. You never give up"
Sam said, "Neither do you Dean. All my life you never gave up on me." He was so sick of feeling like he was on the verge of tears. All he wanted was to save Dean, to show Dean there was hope. Dean looked away.
"That's my job Sam. It's part of me. Who I am..But you, and Bobby, Dad.,you're the good men. "
Sam had had enough. "And what's my job Dean?", he asked. "Why can't I look out for you and save you for once? I'm proud of you Dean. So was Dad and so was Bobby." Dean's eyes widened. He wanted to believe that was true. That he'd made the few good men he 'd known proud of him. Sam could see he didn't believe it. Sam did. He chuckled. "Bobby was right about you too you know."
Dean cocked an eyebrow, "Yeah what does that mean?" Sam pulled him into a quick hug and let him go, barely giving Dean a chance to hug back.
"I believe his exact words were 'your brother, he's stubborn.." He grinned at Dean and realized his jaw was swelling and very sore. Dean grinned back briefly and ran his fingers along Sam's jawline. No broken bones, just one hell of a bruise.
"Come on, you need ice." He pushed his big little brother to the hallway. As they walked to the kitchen, Sam put his arm around Dean's shoulders. Dean didn't pull away and that encouraged Sam. He was bound and determined to win this one and to somehow show Dean Winchester how very good a man he was.
Dean settled Sam at the table and wrapped ice cubes in a towel. He pressed it to the bruise with his right hand, his left on top of Sam"s head holding him still. "Hey Sam?"
Sam winced as the ice touched his face. "Yeah"he responded.
"Did you really shoot Metatron?"
Sam laughed. "Uh huh".
Dean laughed too. "That's my boy", he said. Dean held the ice to the injury he'd caused and wished with all his heart he could be half the man his brother was, his father and Bobby had been. He didn't know what was coming. He was running on scared most of the time. Tonight, even though he was wishing he'd been able to hear Bobby's voice again, he was glad the old man's words gave Sam hope . Dean shook his head and returned to his main job. Taking care of Sam.