New chaptered series from me.

Finally had the time to write fics; I've been busy writing the English okikagu doujinshi novel, and now that it has been published, I finally had time to write.

Also, Gintama is back. I know a lot of people have been waiting for the anime series to come back, but I'm desperately waiting for the Fake Illness Arc to be animated. I'm sure I'm gonna laugh so hard at it.

Without further ado, here's chapter 1.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama. It belongs to Sorachi Hideaki.

Of Children and Domesticity

Chapter 1

Kagura did not like being alone, as she had been through a childhood that left her feeling lonely, sometimes bordering to desolate, but right now, she wanted nothing more than some peace and quiet time for two simple reasons.

"Mother, aren't we supposed to buy strawberry milk for Grandpa?" it did not help that the person who said that (reason one why she wanted some peace and quiet) had actually yelled it out loud, and some of the townspeople who had heard him say it then looked at her, back to the person who said it before their eyes widened, then narrowed at the thought of her being a mother.

She, at her current age of twenty, a legal adult in Edo, was a mother.

The female Yato could have laughed loudly at such an absurd thing, as motherhood had never been on top of her list when she was growing up. Not that she hated children, but she just didn't see herself as a mother. She wanted to be like Papi, the strongest alien hunter who went across the galaxy, lived his life, and had no responsibilities to take care of.

… Or rather, he had forgotten that it was his responsibility to take care of a young daughter and a sick wife, but because he was simply too busy, he didn't even bother.

"Mami, the milk! You forgot the milk!" came another voice.

She would've been able to laugh at it if it wasn't for the second person, who happened to be reason number two as to why she longed for some peace and quiet.

The second person who happened to be the very reason why she couldn't laugh over this… absurd thing.

It was during one of those days where no clients dropped by the Yorozuya to seek for assistance, and Gin-chan went off to one of those pachinko parlors to spend all of the salary he was supposed to hand over to her and Shinpachi. By this point in time, she was so used to not being given money by that guy that she just stole whatever she could from his wallet whenever he wasn't look, only so she could buy sukonbu.

On that particular day, a knock could be heard on the door. She, lazy as always, wanted to just pretend that she wasn't home so that they would go away, but the knocking wouldn't stop and, in her frustration, she marched to the front door, clad in her pajamas. Kagura had been prepared to yell at whoever it was that kept knocking on the door until she came face to face with Sadist.

Or rather, a person who looked like sadist. They had the same hair color, the same hair style, and even the same clothes but… something felt off.

"Mother." It was all he said before she slammed the door in his face, both in shock and in fear of the young man who stood outside of the Yorozuya's door.

If she was in some kind of practical joke show, she wanted out.

Upon opening the door once more, only to find another young man behind the one who looked a lot like sadist having the same hair color and same eye color as she had, she screamed immediately.

They had been in Edo for nearly a week and with no sign of them even bothering to leave the Yorozuya (the two boys had took to the couches whenever it was time for bed, or slept in the room where Gin-chan slept, which she kept her 'room' in the futon storage cabinet), she was in danger of losing her sanity.

"Mami!"

She had had it.

She turned to the second person who referred to her as 'Mami' and glared at him, making him stop in his tracks. "I am not your mother!"

Confusion etched his face, and he looked at the other one who she thought was sadist, but wasn't. Her intuition, for some reason, had worked this time around… but there was no denying the fact that the other guy looked a lot like him. "Souichirou-nii, this is really weird."

"Of course it's weird!" she interrupted angrily, making both of them wince from the loudness of her tone. "Two teenage boys following me around, calling me 'mom'?! And you just expect me to readily agree to that?!" she usually did not do the tsukkomi, but in special situations such as these, it could not be helped.

Most especially if the two boys with her claimed to be her two elder sons from the future whose father happened to be the guy she couldn't stand the most, Okita Sougo, member of the tax robbers, and a sadistic jerk to boot.

Her and the sadist?

Together?

With children?

What a sick joke it was.

Her having kids?

She didn't know which was worse: choosing not to be an alien hunter because of the children or having children with that guy.

How could future her choose that kind of path? It was stupid, insane, and very impractical.

She could hardly take care of herself; what more two boys?

"We know it's hard to believe but… it's disrespectful if we don't call you Mother… even if we're both the same age right now." The sheepish answer came from the elder of the two, whose name happened to be Souichirou, the nickname that Gin-chan used to refer to that guy.

"… And that 'Mother' of yours… how old is she in your timeline?" she couldn't help but ask.

"Mother just turned forty last November." at this, she gaped at him, unable to imagine that at her current age, that other her, had been stupid enough to get herself pregnant… with sadist's child. Mentally, she did the math, surprised at the fact that the other her had not been contented with one, but two, as the second one claimed that he was three years younger than his brother.

"… So she had you at my current age." At this, her supposed son blushed and nodded. "And why are you all red all of a sudden?"

"N-nothing. J-just that… I remember Mother telling me that upon learning that she was pregnant with me, she told Father that he didn't need to stick around her life anymore because she'll be taking care of me alone." upon hearing the words, Kagura inwardly cheered, knowing that she had at least a chance of not getting together with that guy.

"But she got knocked up twice?" she asked. "I mean, the other one wouldn't exist—"

"He's Akito." Souichirou supplied helpfully. "Yes, Akito is the second eldest… but who's to say that we don't have other siblings?"

Kagura paled at the word.

Siblings? With an 's'?!

How stupid was that other her anyway, getting herself pregnant and abandoning her dreams of becoming the best alien hunter in the galaxy?! It was so unheard of, and it disgusted her. Privately, she thought that just because someone got knocked up didn't mean they would easily abandon their dreams.

A domesticated Yato was an oxymoron; a Yato didn't do household management. They set out to galaxies and beyond to conquer and destroy everything they could see.

She sure as hell did not fit the category of a woman who would stay at home and take care of the kids.

"… I'm actually afraid to ask, but just how many are you all in total?"

As soon as he told her the number of children future her have, she nearly felt faint.

HOW?!

Just how was it possible for her to spawn five?!

"I dunno 'bout you, Mami, but obviously, we were all conceived in the natural way." The smartmouth, who happened to be the one who got her hair color and eyes, said jokingly before leaping away to avoid his mother, or rather, another version of his mother's lethal umbrella attack. "Kidding~"

"Akito." His older brother shot him a warning look before the younger one bowed his head.

"… Sorry, Mami." He said.

She seriously did not know what to make of that remark, especially since she had an inkling that the one who looked a lot like her would turn out to be so sarcastic (and he really was)… and it was also her fault for voicing out her thoughts.

Still…

With the tip of her umbrella, she hit the boy lightly on the head, tapping him on the forehead. "… Don't let your real mother hear that." She said, before turning around to continue on with her shopping (she was so not buying that strawberry milk for Gin-chan)…

… until the person she really was not in the mood to deal with suddenly appeared in front of her.

Why the heck did he have two girls flanking him?

… And why did they look familiar?!

One of the sandy-haired girls whose eye color mirrored her own hers gasped upon seeing them. The other one, whose hair was similar to hers, followed the other's line of sight and gasped as well. Without warning, the two bolted away from that guy's side and ran towards them.

"Aniue! Ani-chan!" clad in a kimono, the one who had sandy hair rushed to her brothers, giving them a huge hug. "Thank goodness you're here!"

"Atsumi. Glad to see you're safe." The eldest brother said. "Where have you two been?"

"We were staying with dad the whole time and—" feeling an uneasy aura around her, she turned back to where her father stood and grimaced upon seeing her 'parents'… their past selves at that, glaring at one another. "… Are they at it again?"

"Looks like Mama and Papa hate each other's guts in this timeline…" the eldest female in their family, Miyuki, stated before sighing and shaking her head. "Just like they said they were before they got together."

It was no secret among the four of them that their parents, long before they got together, had their… differences. It was their parents' favorite story during their childhood (Father officially met Mother during the hanami season and were at each other's throats ever since), and whenever the two of them got into arguments, they would reassure the children, who always had a worried look on their faces, that it was their form of showing affection towards one another.

Souichirou-nii, at age fifteen, then remarked loudly at that time that it was probably one of the many reasons why he had siblings, and not just a sibling, causing their Mother to turn as red as her China dress, and for Father to raise an eyebrow, though he looked quite embarrassed upon hearing the rather obvious statement.

No doubt, their parents love one another so much that they currently have five children… with two more on the way. Father had said that they tried to prevent it, but to no avail, as Mother was, once again, pregnant… and this time, with twins. The three elderly siblings simply shook their heads at the thought of their forty-year old Mother pregnant, while the youngest sister, Atsumi, was too elated to even think of the possible outcome about Mother's condition, as she had always wanted to be a big sister to her current and future younger siblings. While Father promised that nothing would happen (Mother was, after all, the picture of health), at the back of the siblings' minds, they always feared the worst.

Not to mention, Father would be devastated if Mother would pass on and left all of them…

"What the hell are you doing here?" they heard Mother hiss at Father, or rather, the youngest version of their Father, whose face was wiped clean of emotion.

"I'm on patrol duty with… them." He gestured at the two other girls with the turn of his head, and when Mother looked at the Okita siblings' way, it was obvious that she looked very nonplussed upon seeing her children, or rather, her future children, all standing together, their faces curious at the scene that was unfolding before them. "They said that they were looking for their… brothers," he said, but without difficulty, probably because he himself couldn't believe that he would have children of his own someday. "… and now that they've been reunited, my work is done." Shrugging, he sidestepped to continue on his way, ignoring the glare sent his way by Mother, who was just about to follow him.

Souichirou knew he had to step in, and he did…

… Immediately, he felt himself suddenly balking upon facing Father, or rather, Father's younger self.

He had been told time and again that he was his Father's spitting image by a lot of people, though he knew that the shape of his face was one of the very few things he inherited from Mother.

That, and his Yato lineage… and the raging bloodlust that sometimes went out of control whenever he got himself into trouble.

"Father." He said, staring into a near mirror image of himself.

Okita Sougo tilted his head in confusion. "And you are?"

"My apologies." He bowed his head. "I am Okita Souichirou, your… or rather, your future self's first born."

"… What do you want?" inwardly, Souichirou winced at the other man's cold tone, but he knew that it was a natural reaction.

After all, it wasn't everyday that you encounter your future children.

He cleared his throat. "… I was wondering if you could let us stay in your house until—"

"No." came the harsh response.

"But—"

"I already said 'no'." a flash of annoyance was evident in Father's eyes, making Souichirou fearful all of a sudden. "I promised the two girls that I would find their brothers, and now that you've all reunited, my job is done. Move out of my way, will you?"

Souichirou knew that it was disrespectful to fight against your own father, even against his younger self, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He had to do something for his siblings, and as the eldest and the heir of their family, he would do anything just to provide for them. Immediately, he went over to where Father stood and held the older man's sword arm, gripping it tightly. From the corner of his eye, he saw Father wince ever so slightly and mentally patted himself on the back for having the nerve to do something so impolite.

"… I don't want to do this, but my siblings and I are currently without a home, and while we do want to go back to our timeline, we can't. Not until Hiraga Gengai fixes the battered time machine that had conveniently destroyed itself as soon as we got here." Suddenly, Souichirou's eyes mirror Sougo's previous look, though it felt a touch more violent, a testament of his Yato lineage. "I can easily break your arm if I wish… and you won't like that. What will it be, Okita Sougo?"

Okita Sougo snorted in reply and slapped the younger man's hand away from his arm. While brushing away the imaginary dust on his uniform sleeve, he said, "You've got guts trying to one-up me, kid, I'll give you that." Looking at the younger man straight in the eye, he said, "Guess I have no choice… you all stay with me."

"After all, I'd be an idiot if I try to fight against four desperate teenage half-Yato."

Notes:

So, the children's names are (from eldest to youngest):

総一郎 | Souichirou = eldest son (lit. "first son)
昭仁 | Akito = second eldest son (lit. "bright virtue")
神幸 | Miyuki = eldest daughter (lit. "god of fortune")
京美 | Atsumi = second daughter (lit. "beautiful capital")

Out of all of them, only Miyuki inherited the kanji for 'god' (神) from Kagura, who got it from Umibouzu (real name: Kankou [神晃]).

Hopefully, this series won't be boring. orz I'll do my best to make this worth your while.

Thanks for reading!