Hi!...This story is silly...this story is dumb, this story is really unneccassary! But I felt the need to post it anyway...i dont know why! It was from a Challenge i found a while back; actually i wrote this story a while back, but just decided to post it today! The challenge is below...so please read and review...and please, no flames! It is just a stupid story!
-Jack and Daniel are on a planet where the inhabitants' chieftain wants Jack to marry his daughter.
-Daniel is to be sacrificed to an active volcano.
-Teal'c and Sam come to their rescue.
-Include a dog where Jack comments "Didn't I tell you not to feed him"
I do not own Stargate/actors/characters, but i wouldnt mind having me a slice of Daniel Jackson! Yummy!
"So, Daniel…" Jack started, looking around at the people in the room, who were all suddenly looking at them with great interest. Sam Carter and Teal'c were off investigating some dirt, and Jack and Daniel had been given the important job of waiting. "What do you make of P4R…uhh…"
"763." Daniel finished for him. "Well, they seem to be Indians," he said, waving his hand at the group in front of him.
"You don't say!" Jack exclaimed sarcastically. "I figured that out the minute we got here Daniel!"
"I know!" Daniel sighed, looking at the group, who were still staring at them. "From their customs and their actual look, I would think that they are similar to the Cherokee Indians back on Earth. They, uh, believe that animals are great spirits, and like peace."
"I learned that in 4th grade, Danny. Just tell me one thing: Why are they staring at us like that?" Jack questioned, starting to feel uneasy.
"Well, we are kinda different to what they are used to Jack. I mean, if you were an Indian, would you expect a group of armed people waltzing through the Stargate, which, by the way, seems to be sacred to them?" Daniel hissed.
"Daniel, if I was an Indian, I would be too busy smoking that pipe over there, to care what came through the gate," Jack said sarcastically.
"Jack, Indians don't spend all their time smoking, they do a lot of other things too," Daniel countered.
"Like what? Pray to a beaver?" Jack said smugly.
"Well, yes, but also a lot of other things!" Daniel said frowning.
"Daniel, from what I have seen on the movies, that is pretty much all Indians do! They smoke, and pray to these animals!" Jack exclaimed.
"Jack, I know they mean a lot to you, but one day you are going to have to face the fact that not all movies are based on actual fact," Daniel said loudly.
"You're telling me that Will Smith could not defend the world from aliens!" Jack said in mock horror.
"Well, that is not up to me. I mean, we do it, so I'm sure that he could probably manage it too, but that's not the point! What I'm saying is…" Daniel was cut off by one of the Indians, who had approached them during their little argument.
"You are Jack?" he asked the Colonel in broken English. Jack smiled and nodded.
"Hey, how ya doing?" he asked.
"I have feeling that you are strong, and good leader, yes?" the chieftain continued. Both Jack and Daniel smirked.
"Yeah, I guess I am," Jack answered.
"Then you will make good husband for daughter." The chieftain gestured to a pretty girl, who smiled at Jack.
"What? No, I've been married once before and….she couldn't be more then 15!" Jack exclaimed.
"Ponchana was born 14 moons ago tomorrow," her father said proudly. "You will give me the honour?"
"Look, I know it may be different here, but on Earth, we have rules against marrying someone under a certain age, and plus, we don't really marry someone we just met," Daniel said, smiling at the group. The chieftain glared angrily at him.
"You question our ways!" he yelled. Daniel's eyes widened.
"No, I would never do that!" he exclaimed.
"Cheeroka! We are to take him to Mowakna!" the chieftain yelled at one of the men in the crowd.
"Yes father." Cheeroka came forward and grabbed Daniel roughly by the arm.
"Hey, what are you doing?" Jack demanded, then spoke into his radio. "Carter, Teal'c we're gonna need a little help here."
"When both a wedding and a questioning of ways comes about, we are to take the person to Mowakna," the chieftain explained as they started walking, Daniel being dragged along.
"Mowakna…why doesn't that sound good?" Daniel muttered under his breath.
"Oh my god," Jack and Daniel said in unison. They were standing on the edge of a volcano, a pool of lava lurking below them.
"Soo, what does this…tradition involve?" Jack questioned, starting to feel a bit nervous.
"To honour a wedding, the spirits ask that we make a sacrifice to Mowakna. It is also the way we treat people who mock us. You might say, we are killing two birds with one stone," the chieftain said smiling. Jack and Daniel stared at each other in horror.
"You're going to throw Daniel in there?" Jack exclaimed.
"Yes. And then you and Ponchana will be wed. Then will come the wedding night, where soon after, my daughter will be blessed with a child."
"And you don't think that either of us should have a say in this?" Daniel squeaked.
"She's 14!" Jack yelled at the same time.
"It is in the stars. We must wait for a signal." The chieftain closed his eyes. Jack looked at Daniel, then jumped as his radio crackled to life.
"Sir, we are at the camp, and you're not here!" Sam said worriedly. "And there is this dog that has been following us, should I feed it?"
"What! Carter, whether or not the dog is hungry is not our problem at the moment! We are on top of the big volcano, and they are about to sacrifice Daniel, and then have me marry and deflower the chief's daughter. We need a bit of help up here," Jack hissed into the radio.
"We shall be there momentarily O'Neill, as soon as Major Carter has finished providing nourishment to the canine," Teal'c said through the radio.
"What! Didn't I tell you not to feed him!" Jack yelled.
"Sorry, sir. He just looked so hungry. We'll be there soon. Carter out." Jack looked at Daniel in despair.
"She's more worried about a dog then her team mates?" he exclaimed. Daniel shrugged.
"Woah!" A voice screamed, causing both Jack and Daniel to turn their heads. Sam had just tumbled into view, with Teal'c close behind her.
"How the hell did you get here so quick? It took us ages!" Jack said in shock. Sam grinned, dusting herself off.
"There's a lot you don't know about me Jack. We've always been too busy to talk, if you know what I mean," she said seductively. Jack and Daniel stared at her, their mouths hanging open.
"I too, feel that we have not had the opportunity to talk O'Neill, but most probably not because of the reasons Major Carter gave. Those reasons I reserve for Major Davis," Teal'c said seriously. Daniel and Jack turned their attention to him.
"What!" they squeaked.
"You have cheated on my daughter with this wench!" the chieftain said angrily. "You both go in the pit!" Jack and Daniel felt someone push them, and watched in horror as the lava approached quickly. As they fell they could hear Sams voice.
"I'm not a wench! You want to know who a wench is? Rachel! I mean, she totally got to go out with Ross, and I am so jealous! He is…" her voice faded as Jack and Daniel hit the pit of lava.
"He is so spunky! I wish I could be her once! What a wench," Sam said pouting, then looked over at her team mates. They were waking up, after having fallen asleep laying on each other.
"You guys totally missed the season finale of Friends!" she exclaimed.
"It was indeed interesting," Teal'c informed them. Jack and Daniel looked at each other and spoke in unison.
"I had the weirdest dream!"