A/N: This was originally the fic "Blood Roses" so if it's exactly the same, don't be surprised. This will now be a two shot (as opposed to the multi-chap fic it was in Blood Roses). Pls read my soon to be posted up fic that will be the story this was supposed to be. (i still havent decided on a name so just stay tuned).
(Bellatrix is in her fifth year; Andromeda is in her third)
+BLOOD ROSES+
"Go away." I hiss with as much loathing I can muster-which at the moment, is a lot. I hate Andromeda Black.
"Bella." Andromeda pleads desperately. I neither respond nor turn to face her. She repeats her pleading a few more times before eventually stopping. We stay in tensioned silence for a few minutes.
"What do you want?" I say coldly-something that is only too easy to do lately-still with my back turned to her. I can't face her. I can't. For her sake, and mine. I might just curse her to death.. Or maybe myself..Or both. Maybe it'd be easier that way. Maybe we'd be happier.. I would..
..The pain will finally stop...
..He will finally go away..
And we would be together forever..
..But she.. she'd probably be sad—I force myself not to think about that, about the reason why we are fighting, the reason she is leaving.. me..
"..Bella.. I'm sorry." I know that she means it--her thoughts are practically shoving themselves in front of me--but I can't accept that. I'd only be hurt more.
"So it's true?" I say it so quietly I don't think she'll hear. Maybe I don't want her to hear. Maybe I don't want to know the answer.
It's her turn to be silent now. I almost convince myself she didn't hear. But her answer a few moments later dashes my last futile hopes.
"..We can still be together." She says it so softly that if it weren't for the fact that the Slytherin common room was completely empty I don't think we'd be able to hear each other. Now, not even crackle from a burning fire can distract us, for even that is silent.
"..We can." She tries to get me to face her, pulling at my wrist. But I don't budge. And since she does not attempt to set herself in front of me, which she could easily do by walking around the couch I was sitting on, perhaps she doesn't really want to see my face either.
"Nothing's changed." She lets go of my wrist. "Nothing's changed." She repeats louder, as if I hadn't heard her the first time.
"Nothing's changed, Trixie." She keeps repeating like a broken record but this time with a noticeable difference.
"EVERYTHING's changed, Andy!!" I shout at her without thinking. Her saying the nickname she gave me.. is like a hard slap to the face. It sends too many memories that just hurt too much..
So I do the only thing I can. I glare at her, a glare that would send a shiver down anyone else's spine, but she ignores it--or at least tries. It's not cold enough in here for that excuse to work, my dear. I think, smirking, on the inside. No need to show the monster yet. Ha.
Still, she continues to use it, much to my chagrin.. She was the only one who called me Trixie. I made everyone call me Bella instead.. because of that..
"..You can come with.. us, Trixie." The hesitation on the word us does not escape my notice, nor what it entails..
"With you and.. him?" I narrow my eyes dangerously, I'm sure she notices and only chooses to ignore it.
"Yes, Trixie, with him." She says this in a slightly annoyed voice, which only infuriates me more. Does she think it's not a big deal?! He's a filthy mudblood for Merlin's sake!
Is that really why i hate him? A small voice I have not heard in a long time asks.
Of course it is. I shove the question to the back of my mind, along with the voice.
I am still fighting a sort of inner battle, when her next words shock me so much my mouth hangs open--something I haven't done in years..
"I love him.." She says this in a very grave tone, stressing how very serious she is. But her cheeks flush a little when she says it, and that makes me simply churn with fury. I don't understand. Why do her flushed cheeks make me so mad?
Because she loves him… and not me. The small voice is back.
I shake my head angrily. I do not need to have those feelings.. again.. right now. I control my anger--my immense sadness--and arrange my face into one of my many masks, one of cold indifference. I see her flinch a little at my sudden change. Good. This is who you made me into.
"I know you do, Andy." I use her nickname with contempt. She notices and flinches again. "I also hope that you've noticed during one of your many snogging sessions that the thing you're snogging is a filthy little mudblood!" I sneer at her coldly. Her cheeks are flushed again-but this time with anger.
"Trixie!!" She shouts indignantly, almost scoldingly. "Don't you dare call him that!!"
"Why not?" I respond icily. "It's what he is." This time she flinches and looks hurt at my accusation. And for a moment that look of hurt causes my mask to crack a little. I want to hold her, comfort her, hug her.. NO!! I mentally hit myself and my mask returns.
"Awww, have I hurt ickle Andy's feelings?" I say in a mock baby voice that has almost become my signiture thing. She flinches again. She's been doing that a lot.. I wonder idly with slight pleasure. I'm scaring her. I smile inwardly.
"Trixie.. You've changed." She says this softly, as if hoping I will argue. I don't. "No.. Not Trixie.." She says after a moment. She shakes her head sadly. "Bella." She says it like it's an insult, scrunching her face in disgust when she says it. I pointedly ignore it, and continue to stare stoically at her.
"The group you've been hanging out with!" She says with undisguised disdain. "They're bad news!!" I scoff at her, inwardly and outwardly. She hangs out with mudbloods and blood traitors yet she's criticizing my choice of company? The fool needed her head examined. I try to tell her this but she hold her hand up to stop me.
"Yes, Bella." I don't miss the emphasis on the word "Bella" or the not-so-subtle malice behind it but choose to pointedly ignore it as well. "I hang out with "mudbloods"—as you so rudely put it." She glares at me and I stare back coldly in response. "-and "blood traitors"—like me?" She phrases it as a question but means it more as a statement, saying it with an edge-as if daring me to say something. I don't. She continues, almost reluctantly. "But they're nice, kind and good." She says them like they mean something.
"Nice? Kind? Good?" I scoff at her. "That's why you hang out with that trash? Because they're nice?!" I fill my voice with venom and smile in satisfaction at her reaction. My words sting. Good.
"Yes, Bella." Her voice is a bit shakier now. "Because they're nice. Unlike your friends." She doesn't bother hiding her obvious contempt. "..I've heard rumours." She says this reluctantly, almost fearfully. So that's why she's here? To find out if the rumours are true? And I had thought she honestly wanted me to leave with her! Stupid me.
"What rumours are speaking of, dear sister?" I ask in fake innocence, acid dripping from every word.
She glares, almost involuntarily, not realizing who said it. She realizes soon though and immediately arranges her face into that of forced calm. You're not a good actress, baby sister. You're masks are so easy to see though.
"They say your little group—including you-has been terrorizing certain students." She tries to say it casually, as if she were only inquiring about the weather, but the slight shakiness of her voice gives her away. So easy to see through. She pauses, waiting for a comment but I give none and somewhat reluctantly, she continues. "..students like muggle-borns--"
"I think you mean mudbloods, little sister." I interrupt with a sickly sweet smile plastered on my face. She wisely decides to ignore it and goes on.
"..and that they use the Unforgivable Curses!" She says the last two words with more than a trace of fear. You shouldn't be scared of mere words, little sister, I can do much worse.
She looks at me expectantly, hoping I will deny the rumours. Sadly, I think she'd actually believe me if I did. Too bad. I'm not sending you that lifeline. I'm letting you drown. Like you let me drown.
Drown in this darkness..
"It's not true?!" She lets out a gasp of horror. She probably managed to convince herself all this time that it wasn't true. The truth will set you free, little sister.
"We're exterminating the scum the world." I say it like it's something I've said a thousand times—which I have. I've been saying the same speech to all the new recruits. I smirk a little as I see her flinch. "The filthy bastards are dirtying up the pure wizard blood." I say this with undisguised contempt, breaking my cold mask. This time I go into my "the cause" mask. "They're contaminating the bloodline. They need to be stopped." I say this with an air of finality, as if declaring war, which I--well He, is.
"TRIXIE!!!" She shouts in a combination of horror and indignation. I raise my eyebrow casually. The return of the nickname did not escape my notice.
"They're only vermin, Andy." I say callously, using her nickname as well. "Who cares?" I say this flippantly, as if it wasn't a big deal—which it really wasn't. They really were just vermin, after all.
"You've changed." She says it so icily I wonder if it's really her. I didn't think she was capable of such frost. ..Especially at me. And her frostiness makes me flinch—on the inside, my mask is simply too strong to break.
"Me-?! You've changed!" I point an accusing finger at her. "You're hanging out with mudbloods for Merlin's sake!!" I shudder in disgust at the word mudblood. How could she associate herself with such trash? Even being in the same room with such trash was too much for me.
"Don't change the subject." She ignores my words and continues without pause. "You're using the Unforgivables on people!!" She places great emphasis on the word Unforgivables and shudders a bit. "You could go to Azkaban!!!" She shudders heavily at this. The wizard prison was feared even by the most hardened criminals. And even my practically impenetrable mask seemed to crack a little at the mention of the horrible place. I was not a foolish person. I knew to be afraid of Azkaban.. Especially the Dementors.. The idea of having to replay my worst memories over and over again..To have to relive him.. It made my blood run cold every time.. It was one my greatest fears.. Not that I'd ever tell anyone. I barely admit it to myself. Bellatrix Black does not fear anything.
"It's a risk I'm willing to take for the purification of the Wizarding world." I say this with practiced coldness. My mask is simply too strong to break.
"..You really wouldn't mind Azkaban?.." She says this with a slight jeering edge that I didn't think she was capable of. Maybe she was a Slytherin after all. "..Or the big bad Dementors?.." She smiled a smile worthy of myself; it certainly made me flinch on the inside and possibly a bit on the outside. My mask was cracking a little, which I'm sure was her intention.
"..Don't have any bad memories, do you?.." I flinch again inside and I'm sure this time I flinched a little outside this too. There is unmistakable ice in her voice. One I didn't think she was capable of.. One I hoped she wouldn't be capable of..
I love you.. He had whispered it in my ear as hid actions contradicted his words..
Stop.. Please..I plead to her in my mind. STOP!!!
"Stop…" I whisper in a barely audible voice. She pretends not hear and continues mercilessly.
I could feel his ragged breath.. as he pushed himself inside me…
"…Daddy's little girl..?"
For a moment I thought my mask really would break, that I would cry into her arms. Which I'm sure was what she meant to happen.. But what I did do.. shocked even me.
My wand seemed to have a mind of its own. As I uttered the words I had used so often these past two years..
Crucio!
I don't think I really realized what I was doing. Even her screaming did not faze me, if anything it fueled me on. I loved it when they screamed. It gave me a feeling of immense power. I was not weak. I was strong. Only when I heard the thud of her body falling to the ground did I finally snap out of my reverie. I stopped casting the spell and immediately ran to her side.
"I'm so sorry!!" I pleaded desperately. My mask was broken. It was finally broken. But now.. now she didn't care. Now she was scared.. Of me.
"Get away from me!" She cries out in a mix of fear, confusion, anger and disgust.
"I'm sorry.." I plead hopelessly. I'm sorry.. I keep repeating as I slowly back away from her, begging with my eyes. She gets up shakily, casting me a look of disbelief. I'm sorry, I repeat.
"Goodbye, Bella." She says it so icily I find it hard to believe there was a time when it was ever warm. It used to be warm. It used to have love. I'm sorry.. I continue to plead with increasing desperation. I grab her arm in a desperate attempt to get her to stay. I'm sorry.. I keep repeating like a broken record. She shakes it off and makes her way to the door. I'm sorry..
"I'll miss Trixie." She says it with a trace of sadness but more resignation than anything else. She's given up. Like everyone else.
Those were the last words she said to me before she walked out the door. Leaving me.. forever. Because even if we meet again.. We will never be Trixie and Andy again..
That was the day Trixie died.
People always leave..