Chapter One- Tears and Rain.

She sat down on her bed. She was crying. Yet again, he made her cry. She knew it was her fault but she couldn't do it anymore. He wanted a future-a future she wasn't sure she could give him- and he wanted her in it. But now, now she wasn't sure she had done the right thing. And it hurt like hell. She let him go; she let the man of her dreams go. She wanted to be happy but she couldn't stand it. She ignored the fact that Izzie and George had been knocking at the door asking if she was okay for the past thirty minutes. All she could think about was Derek. She hadn't literally told him it was over, maybe he didn't get the hint. But then again, he was Derek… He knew her.

Tell me that you know another way to get it done
it's for me or how I would be
but it's a different situation a different situation
you lay awake in the night just staring at the ceiling above
pulling pieces of it out is such a waste of time
keep on fighting to remember that nothing is lost in the end

Derek leaned back and sighed. He had no clue what had just happened. She said it was over. Then she looked at him, she looked at him. He could feel his heart stop, tears trying to find their way out. He wouldn't let them. He looked around his trailer. Everything reminded him of her. He could see the red shirt he wore the first time they met hanging in the closet, which was now currently open.

when you burn burn burn your life down

get me to the door out of bed on the track I'm not sure
starting over
It's a different situation a different situation
you wake up in the night and refuse to be afraid of it now
unfolding pieces of it faster don't you waste your time
you've been planning to remember so nothing will be lost in the end

All they wanted to do is find each other and stay in the warmth of each other's arms forever. Meredith was too scared to do that, and Derek, Derek was too hurt. She had never been in a relationship like this; he gave her butterflies every single time he kissed her. Derek hadn't, either. Sure, he'd been in long-term relationships, but Meredith was different; she was the one.

and you burn burn burn your life down
and you burn burn burn your life down

I travel around the block and I'm not looking to my right
I feel the glass against my cheek
and I can't see you in the light
I break my heart around this break my heart around this

He knew what he had to do. For the most part, Derek followed his heart. He didn't follow the one time he truly needed to-when he picked Addison- but he know not following his heart was no longer an option. Meredith was the one, she was it for him. And he was going to fight like hell to get her back in his arms.

I travel around the block and I'm not looking to my right
I feel the glass against my cheek
and I can't see you in the light
I break my heart around this break my heart around this pole

The next morning, Meredith woke up and drove to Cristina's house. The night before, all both of them wanted to do was think alone.

"Cristina."

"Meredith."

"What did he do to you?"

The house was a mess Cristina was lying in a pile of Burke's belongings, eating ice cream with half eaten food containers all around her.

"I loved him, I actually loved him. I am Cristina Yang, I don't fall in love and I don't resort to crying and ice cream when a guy breaks up with me."

"I know how you feel." Meredith sighed. She did, she knew exactly how Cristina felt. She had loved Derek for as long as she could remember. She wasn't sure if leaving him was the right thing to do. She felt so much worse than before. She was beginning to think she had made the biggest mistake of her life. "I'm sorry."

"I just, I don't know what to do…"

"Well, I'm sure Bailey doesn't expect you to come in. You should take a few days off."

"I should? Mer, you look just as bad as I do."

Meredith knew it was true. Her heart was also broken. "I didn't have my wedding called off." She felt as if she did. There was a wedding in the future with them, the future she refused to be part in.

"Yeah, but still. You and McDreamy had something there. Normally I wouldn't admit it but I'm not exactly myself today."

"Yeah, we had something and I ruined it, its over."

"It's not over yet Mer; he hasn't said its over. But anyways, you should get going, your going to be late."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Meredith. And do me a favor… talk to him."

"Cris…"

"No Meredith, do this, do this for me."

"Okay, I will." Cristina was right; she needed to talk to him. She didn't know what she was going to say, or how she would say it, but there were things that needed to be said. She still loved him.

"Promise?"

"I Promise."

Meredith made it to the hospital right on time. She made it to the locker room successfully avoiding Derek. She knew she had to talk to him, she just didn't know what to say. There were so many things left unsaid and she just didn't know where to start. She thought back to him telling her about the girl in the bar. What if he had moved on?

must have left it on the table
Of the chair
Not sure
I didn't feel it it was painless
Oh dear
I guess I'm just a little careless!
I'll confess
When the music's on
Everything else gets lost!

He caught a glimpse of her the second he walked into the hospital. All her wanted to do was run to her and hold her in his arms, feel her soft, comforting lips on his. He knew being with her again was just some fantasy-that she would never take him back- but he couldn't help but love her. Everything about her was perfect; from her tiny ineffectual fists to the smell and waves of her hair.

I think I like it
I think I like it
I think I'd like my soul back
I think I like it
I think I like it
I think I'd like my soul back

What happened to the day they were just the girl and the guy in the bar? What happened to being bright and shiny? Now they both felt dark and twisty and they both knew the only way to fix it was to be with each other. But doubts cross your mind; they screw with your head and make you fearful. And when you are in fear- no matter what of- you tend to hold off on conquering them, in fear of loosing.