Disclaimer: The legal rights to the Harry Potter books, characters, and locations belong to J. K. Rowling, and the legal rights to the movies belong to Warner Bros. Studios. I own nothing here. I claim only the story idea as my intellectual property based off of Rowling's work, and I seek no financial compensation. I only seek to produce some smiles among the fans.
Rating: K for being squeaky-clean, with nary a trace of violence, sexuality, or (to quote Puppet Snape) foulmouthedness.
A/N: As in my other stories, Luna is a year older than in canon, so she's in the same year as the Golden Trio, although in this story, she hasn't actually met Harry yet. However, as you may know from my other stories, she is his future girlfriend and wife, and so I have hinted at this eventual connection in a couple places here. Since I'd previously done a Harry story where Luna was in the background ("Flower and Serpent"), I now wanted to turn things around and do a Luna story where Harry was in the background – although, to be honest, this mostly turned out to be a Hermione story. I'd wanted to write a story involving her for a while, especially since Rowling often talked about how much fun it was to write dialogue between Hermione and Luna, but the details didn't start snapping into place until very recently. Here, then, is the finished result, and I hope you enjoy it. (Also, for those of you who liked Daphne in "Flower and Serpent" and wanted to see more of her, I've given her a brief re-appearance here. She's younger here than she was in that story, but she should still seem familiar.)
There's No Such Thing as a Nargle
Hermione Granger sat alone on a Friday afternoon in the one place where she was most likely to be found: in a secluded corner of the Hogwarts library, at a small study table covered with books. Despite Madam Pince's reputation for being strict and even fearsome, the old librarian had taken a liking to Hermione over the last two years. Not only was the Gryffindor girl one of the most studious and responsible students that Pince had ever seen, she also shared her affinity for books. Hermione returned every book unharmed, and in some cases, the books even looked as though they were in better condition than when they had been checked out.
Nor had the professors failed to take notice of Hermione's academic talents. Despite only being at the beginning of her third year, she was already under consideration to possibly be a Prefect or even the Head Girl someday. It was because of this, in fact, that Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall had decided to make an exception and let Hermione do something that was very rarely done: wear a Time-Turner necklace so that she could take more classes than were usually permitted (or even possible). Hermione, of course, was required to maintain the utmost secrecy as to what she was doing, and Dumbledore had made it clear that the Time-Turner was not a toy to be trifled with.
Still, Hermione was extremely grateful for the opportunity, as she was beginning to get to know some of the students outside of her normal social circle. The past two years had consisted entirely of core classes taken with Slytherins and other Gryffindors, but now that she was beginning to take electives, she was starting to meet some Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs as well. One such student, a Ravenclaw whom Hermione had met in her Arithmancy and Ancient Runes classes, was coming down to the library to meet her right now.
In the mere week that she had known Luna Lovegood, Hermione had already determined that there was something offbeat about her. Luna was certainly intelligent and kind, but she also looked distinctly unkempt, with her large blue eyes and her tangled blonde hair. Her choice of accessories could also be odd, such as her radish earrings or her cork necklaces.
But just because she's a little eccentric doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her, Hermione had told herself, and so she had decided that Luna was worth getting to know – and perhaps even mentor, she thought as she saw Luna approaching the table, clad in her Ravenclaw robes and carrying her bookbag, with her wand tucked behind her ear.
"Hello, Hermione," Luna said in her soft voice as she sat down at the table, across from her. "Guess what? I just nodded at Harry Potter, and he nodded back at me!"
"That's nice," grinned Hermione. "Do you have a crush on him?"
"No, not really," said Luna. "Ginny Weasley does, though. I just think he seems like he would be a nice person to meet someday. I think he seems kind, and also humble, and I get the sense that maybe he doesn't always know where he belongs… but tell me, what is he like?"
"A little reckless," said Hermione, "especially when he and Ron are off getting into trouble together. But he's also brave, and he's fairly smart when he applies himself… I think you might like him. I can introduce you two, if you like."
"Oh no, that's not necessary," Luna shook her head. "I'm sure there are so many people who want to meet him already. I'll meet him on my own when the time is right, I suppose. Anyway, did you find what you were looking for?"
"As a matter of fact, I did!" exclaimed Hermione, picking up one of the older, more fragile books and turning and pointing to a specific page. "I'm finding Runes to be a more difficult subject than what I would have expected, but do you see this? This right here? This is precisely what Professor Babbling was talking about in class!" As per usual, Hermione had leapt directly from casual conversation into the beginnings of a lecture. "In fact, let me write down a few notes here… oh drat, I misplaced my quill!"
"Did you have it when you entered the library?" Luna asked.
"Well, I thought I did…" Hermione started to rifle through her own bookbag, but didn't see any quills. "But it just disappeared somehow."
"You can borrow one of mine," Luna offered, handing Hermione a quill. "I collect quills, so I always have some on hand. And don't worry, yours will come back eventually. It was probably just taken by Nargles, and they'll give it back once they're bored with it. Look: they also stole my shoes, so I've had to walk around in just my socks." Luna shifted in her seat and stretched her leg out, revealing a long sock in bright striped colors. "There's a lot of Nargles around the castle this year; I think all the Dementors nearby have them stirred up."
Hermione looked perplexedly at Luna's leg before she moved it back under the table, and then, trying to regain her composure, gestured back toward the book with Luna's quill. "Alright, well, anyway, I've started to decipher these, and I think that… wait, I'm sorry, what on Earth is a Nargle?"
"Oh!" Luna said in surprise. "Well, that's easy! A Nargle is a small fuzzy animal that takes people's things when they're not looking. They tend to travel in packs, you see, and they're very good at camouflage. They'll stay away if you have one of these," – Luna held up her necklace – "but I can teach you other methods to use as well."
Hermione's look of perplexity returned, and she set down Luna's quill and scratched her head. "There's no such thing as a Nargle," she stated flatly.
"How do you know?" inquired Luna, tilting her head to the side and then back. "You hadn't even heard of them until two minutes ago!"
"But I've never read about them in a book," Hermione stated in a flustered tone which she was doing her best to keep at a library-appropriate level. Gathering herself, she looked straight at Luna and continued in a calmer voice: "Look, if Nargles were real, somebody would have studied them and written about them in a book, right? But they aren't mentioned in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and they aren't mentioned in The Monster Book of Monsters, and they aren't mentioned in any other book I've ever read. And if something isn't in a book – and not just any book, but one that contains well-documented evidence – well, then, that thing just isn't real. Now take this rune diagram for instance…" Hermione seemed to think the matter was settled, but as she attempted to resume her lecture, she saw that Luna was pulling something else out of her bookbag.
"Here," said Luna gently, smiling as she placed the object on the table. "It's not a book, per se, but it does have several accounts about Nargles written in it. Just look in the back section there, where all the information on magical creatures is." Glancing over out of curiosity, Hermione saw that the object was a magazine: one which she had seen occasionally but had never cared about that much.
"Oh, Luna," Hermione said with a chuckle. "That's just The Quibbler. You shouldn't be reading that or taking it seriously. It's the silliest magazine in the world. They'll print anything that anybody sends in, whether it's true or not."
Luna's smile had faded, and was now replaced with a more downcast look. "Well, you shouldn't call it silly…" she said weakly. "Maybe if you actually look inside, you'll have a different opinion…"
"It's alright, Luna," Hermione smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure The Quibbler meant well when it was founded. But over the years, so many people have sent in wild conspiracy theories that they overheard somewhere, or else made up themselves, that now the whole magazine's just one big joke because everyone's treated it like a joke for so long. And the editor should know better, but I guess he doesn't care… He probably can't tell what's true from what's fake, anyway."
Luna looked even unhappier now. "That wasn't a very nice thing to say about somebody you've never even met. The editor is a very smart person, and he's not judgmental at all, and besides, he's my…"
"I don't care what he's like!" interrupted Hermione, incredibly frustrated at Luna's inability to drop this subject and move on to more important things, like runes. "I don't need to meet him to think he's a terrible excuse for a journalist! He's clearly a kook; just look at him!" Picking up the Quibbler issue, she opened it to its first page, which contained a photograph of a befuddled-looking wizard with whitish-blond candy-floss hair. "Honestly, he should be running some sort of practical gag shop, not a magazine! He should be ashamed of himself, this Mister… Mister… oh dear."
With a sudden jolt of realization, Hermione saw that the caption below the photo read Xenophilius Lovegood, Editor-in-Chief – "Truth Will Out!" Although she was afraid to do it, she lifted her eyes up and gazed across the table to Luna, whose face was now a full-on scowl.
"I would like my quill and my 'silly magazine' back, if you don't mind," Luna said curtly. "I don't think I want to talk to you anymore today."
"Wait, Luna, wait…" said Hermione sheepishly as she handed Luna's things back to her and watched her pack them up. "I didn't know. I swear I didn't know…"
"That's not an apology," said Luna, gathering up her bookbag. "All you're really saying is that, if you had known, you would have covered up how you felt about my father and his magazine. But thank you for your honesty. I don't thank you for what you said, but I'm glad it was honest, at least. Now I know not to mention my dad or The Quibbler or Nargles or anything else around you. Enjoy your books that only have real things in them, and I'll see you in class."
Luna turned and walked away, leaving Hermione to watch her long blonde hair moving further and further away until it was out of sight. She felt herself wishing that she could use her Time-Turner to redo their conversation, and even briefly touched her hand to it, but she was kept back by the thought that using it wouldn't do any good – or else, as Dumbledore had warned, it might have unintended consequences.
That evening at supper, Hermione found that she didn't have much of an appetite. As she distractedly poked at her food with her fork, she was still thinking over what she had said to Luna, and trying to ease her mind with some sort of defense for her behavior. Well, alright, she thought, I'll admit that what I said to Luna was harsh – but still, wasn't it necessary for her to hear it? I couldn't let her spend her entire life reading The Quibbler and thinking her father was right about everything, now could I? How does she expect to get anywhere in life if she goes around telling everybody that things like Nargles exist? I mean, honestly! Nargles!
As Hermione thought this, she turned her attention over to the Ravenclaw table, where she quickly spotted Luna. The girl didn't seem to be maintaining any one conversation for very long: she would talk to one of her classmates for a little while, but then she briefly became fixated on whatever was on her plate, gazed up dreamily at the ceiling and then over at the faculty table, and then finally started talking to somebody else.
What a short attention span, Hermione thought exasperatedly. Maybe if she focused on things a little more, she wouldn't get caught up in such odd ideas. And what is an airhead like her doing in Ravenclaw, anyway?
"Hey, Hermione…" she was jolted out of her musings by Harry Potter's sudden voice beside her. "Who are you looking at so intently?"
"Oh, just someone from my other classes," said Hermione dismissively. "Nobody you know." And hopefully you won't know her, Hermione thought, instantly assuming the role of protective older sister. You don't need to be exposed to any of Luna Lovegood's silliness – at least, not until I've had time to sway you in the proper direction. Ron's a bad enough influence on you as it is; we don't need to add Luna on top of that. If I'm not careful, you'll end up talking about nothing but Quidditch and Nargles, and then where will you be?
By the time Hermione made it to bed that night, her mood had shifted back to one of remorse – especially after she encountered Ginny on her way to the third-year dorms. "My best friend told me what you said to her," Ginny had briefly scolded her as she headed toward her own dorm. "I think you owe Luna a big apology."
Ginny's right, Hermione told herself as she looked up at the ceiling and pulled her duvet over her sheets and up to her neck. Luna is a nice person, after all. I could have phrased what I said better, but she does still need to know why she's wrong. After all, the poor girl's only reading The Quibbler because she was raised on it and she doesn't know any better. What I need to do is apologize and explain that I only had good intentions, and then hopefully this will be a positive experience for both of us. And then, feeling a little more at ease, Hermione drifted off to sleep.
Hermione's Saturday morning didn't get off to an exceptionally good start: first, she was awoken by her cat Crookshanks jumping on her head, and then she noticed that her quill was still missing. As she changed from her pajamas to her Gryffindor robes, Hermione began thinking over what she was going to tell Luna, and more importantly, where she was going to find her. She decided that Ravenclaw Tower would be the most likely place to start looking, and so, once she had left her own common room, she began the long walk to the other end of the castle, with Crookshanks following close behind her. During the walk, Hermione also had more time to plan out her conversation, but when she was about halfway to her destination, she noticed something outside a window in an empty corridor that made her stop.
It was a cool, cloudy day, and Luna was wandering around the castle grounds, still without shoes. She was holding up a wand that had been lit using a Lumos spell, moving around from shrub to shrub, shining a light inside them, and occasionally sitting down to draw something on a sketchpad. Hermione crossed her arms and shook her head at Luna's odd behavior.
"And she's probably looking for another animal that doesn't even exist!" she found herself saying out loud – a good deal more loudly, in fact, than she had expected. She dove both hands into her bushy hair in exasperation. "Nnngh! How am I supposed to apologize to her when I don't even understand her?!"
"Something bothering you over there?" came a girl's voice from two windows down. "Knut for your thoughts." Hermione looked over and saw a sophisticated-looking girl in Slytherin robes approaching her. She was blonde, like Luna, although her long hair was sleek instead of shaggy, and Hermione realized that it was Daphne Greengrass, a girl from her year. She recognized her from several classes she had taken, and as it so happened, she was also in the same Ancient Runes class as Luna.
"Look," said Hermione, pointing out the window at Luna. "What on Earth is she even doing down there?" she sighed. "I said some mean things about her father and his magazine yesterday, and I need to apologize, but it would be so much easier if she were a normal, orderly, sensible person."
Daphne chuckled sardonically. "Well, telling her that would be one way to start an apology," she said with a tone of surprise. "And do my ears deceive me, or is Hermione Granger actually bad-mouthing somebody? Who knew that Gryffindors ever did that?" Hermione knew from previous encounters that Daphne had a very wry sense of humor, but she was also a good deal friendlier and humbler than most of the other Slytherins – when she didn't need to put on a mask of detachment and blend in with the crowd. Hermione also had to admit that Daphne was better at reading people than her, and much more skilled at knowing when and when not to speak her mind.
"It's just so difficult to have a conversation with her," Hermione lamented. "Do you know she believes in the most ridiculous and impossible things? And she refuses to hear why what she believes is wrong… I could help her if she'd only…"
"Is what she believes hurting you?" interrupted Daphne. "Did she say anything personally offensive to you? And besides… why do you care so much whether everyone else thinks like you? How do you know they're wrong?"
"Oh, please," snapped Hermione. "You're going to stand there and tell me you believe in Nargles, too? Alright, it doesn't hurt anybody, but what would happen to people's common sense if everyone here believed in Nargles? It's just silly!"
Daphne was silent for a moment, and then responded: "Maybe you shouldn't think of it as 'silly'. Maybe you should stop to consider how imaginative she is, and how willing she is to believe in seemingly impossible things. I'm like you, Granger. I won't think a Nargle or anything else like that is real until I've actually seen one, but I don't think the belief in it ever hurts anything." Daphne sighed. "I can tell you from how often I have to listen to the 'pureblood-only' talk in my common room that the world would certainly be better if more people were open-minded. You're not going to make anything better by turning Lovegood into someone who thinks like you, even if you could do it. All you'd really do is take away her best quality. Personally, I think a Luna Lovegood without Nargles would be like a Hermione Granger without books. It just wouldn't seem right. And besides… being a misfit myself, I know one when I see one, and I would think that one misfit would stand up for another."
"How am I a misfit?" Hermione asked in a slightly affronted tone.
Daphne pointed back out the window, to where Luna had moved away from the shrubs and was now sitting under a large tree, continuing to sketch. "She doesn't have very many friends, you know," she replied, "and you didn't have very many friends either when you first got here, did you? Up until the troll incident our first Halloween here? Didn't most other people find you a bit off-putting, mostly because you did the same thing to them that you're trying to do to Lovegood right now? Because you always felt like you had to be the one with all the answers – and sometimes, you still feel like you have to be that person. You're smart, Granger – I'd never say you weren't – but sometimes you could be a bit more tactful. Maybe instead of trying to make everyone else be more like you, you should see what they have to offer. Keep that in mind when you apologize to her."
Daphne nodded a courteous goodbye and began walking down the corridor away from Hermione, who was looking out the window with a sad expression on her face. Hermione finally realized that she hadn't been preparing the right kind of apology at all.
"Daphne?" she called just as the other girl was about to exit the corridor. "What makes you a misfit?"
"Well, for one thing, our houses are arch-rivals, and yet I just offered you some friendly advice," Daphne called back.
By the time Hermione made it out of the castle, the sun had come out a little bit, making the grounds warmer and brighter. With Crookshanks still in tow, she headed in the direction of the tree under which Luna had been sitting, hoping that the capricious Ravenclaw hadn't already moved on to somewhere else. Thankfully, however, she still appeared to be under the tree, staring up at the clouds. As Hermione got closer, Crookshanks darted ahead of her, rushing to Luna's side and purring as he nuzzled her.
"Oh, well hello there, Mr. Puff!" exclaimed Luna, picking the fluffy orange cat up and setting him in her lap. "Did you come here to see me?"
"That's, um, that's my cat, actually," said Hermione, who was now standing next to the tree. "His name's Crookshanks and, er, I'm the one who came to see you."
Luna looked up at Hermione with an atypical glare, and then turned her attention back to Crookshanks, whom she had started to pet. "I'm not very happy with you right now, Hermione," she said with a complete lack of pretense. "Some of the other students call me 'Loony', you know. That doesn't hurt my feelings, though. That doesn't bother me. But when you insulted my father… that actually hurt much more."
"I know it did, Luna," said Hermione softly, "and I have some things I need to say to you."
Luna nodded, still not looking at Hermione, who now sat down beside her under the tree. "I said some things yesterday that were very wrong," Hermione began, "and I shouldn't have judged your dad without even knowing him. I shouldn't have judged him or his magazine or your beliefs. That was a terrible thing for me to do all around. But I wasn't just wrong to say those things; I was also wrong when I said that the only real things in the world are in books."
Luna looked up with a twinkle in her eye, and her usual smile was starting to come back. "Does that mean you believe in Nargles after all?" she asked.
"Er… no," Hermione said flatly. "No. We're just going to have to agree to disagree about Nargles – and a lot of other things in The Quibbler, for that matter. But what I do mean is that there are some things in the world you can't learn about in books. You can surround yourself with books, but they can't teach you everything. Some things you just have to learn from actually interacting with other people – and by making mistakes. I could read every book in both the Muggle and Wizarding worlds, and it wouldn't make me a better friend, or even a better person. I look at the person you are, and I look at the person I am, and even though you're very different and I can't explain you, Luna… I wouldn't want to change you. At first I thought I did, but I don't. If you were less like you and more like me… well, I wouldn't be able to learn anything from you. Like a Nargle, you're something I can't find in a book – but the difference is, I do believe in you."
Luna smiled more fully now. "People would be very boring if they could be explained all the time, wouldn't they?" she asked.
"Yes," admitted Hermione, leaning back and looking up at the clouds – something she suddenly felt she hadn't spent enough time in her life doing. "Yes, I suppose they would be."
"Hermione?" Luna asked after a few minutes. "If I found a Nargle someday, and I had proof of it, and I wrote about it in a book… would you believe in Nargles then?"
"I guess I would," said Hermione. "That's just the kind of person I am – although I suppose there is something to admire in people who believe in something before anybody else does."
"What does your father do for a living?" inquired Luna.
"Oh… oh, he and my mum are both dentists in the Muggle world."
"And what's a dentist?"
"Oh, well, it's a doctor – like a Muggle Healer, but only for your teeth."
Luna burst into laughter, startling Crookshanks, who stood up and turned around before settling back down in Luna's lap. "You're kidding!" she gasped, once she had her voice back. "Muggles have a different Healer for all their different body parts? Oh my, they must not be very good at medicine, then!"
"You think what my dad does sounds silly, don't you?" asked Hermione, with a look of whimsy on her face.
"Oh… it wouldn't be polite of me to say that." Luna stopped laughing and shook her head.
"No, go ahead," said Hermione. "Say it, and then we'll be even."
"Oh, alright," said Luna, imitating Hermione's scolding tone from yesterday, although finding it difficult to hold back her giggles. "I think what your father does is silly, and, um, I think he's a kook and he should be ashamed of himself!" Both girls laughed out loud, and Luna motioned to give Crookshanks back to Hermione.
"No, he likes you," said Hermione. "You can have him for today – in fact, you can borrow him anytime you want to pet him, alright? He'll always come back to me when he's done wandering about. After all, he could use someone to wander with – I know I can't be that exciting, always moving from dorm to classroom to library and back."
"Thank you," Luna smiled, "and thank you for your apology."
"You really love animals, don't you?" Hermione asked as she got to her feet, leaving Luna and Crookshanks sitting under the tree.
"Oh, very much so!" nodded Luna. "I'm going to be a magizoologist when I grow up. In fact… I just drew some bowtruckles I saw in the shrubs, if you'd like to see." She gestured toward the bookbag lying beside her, which had her sketchpad sticking out of it.
"I'd love to see those some other time," Hermione said, "but right now, I need to get back to my studies. I'm a bit behind my normal schedule this morning, and…" she looked down at her chest, mindful of the Time-Turner necklace that was concealed under her robes. "Well, suffice to say, my schedule is a little busier than most people's."
Taking her leave of Luna, and feeling an immense sense of relief, Hermione walked back up toward the castle. As she made her way back to Gryffindor Tower, she even found herself imitating Luna's characteristic bounce-and-skip, before immediately replacing it with her own regular walk. Her first stop was to return to her dorm, and as soon as she opened her trunk, she found her missing quill, right in the place where she would have expected it to be – and yet where it distinctly hadn't been that morning.
And although Hermione quickly pushed the thought out of her head, she wondered for one brief moment if maybe there was such a thing as a Nargle after all.