Well this is my first Gunslinger Girl fic. I hope you all enjoy it.
Warning: Characters will occasionally be OOC.
Disclaimer: The following story is a fan made parody. Gunslinger belongs to Yu Aida, Madman Entertainment, FUNimation, Fuji TV, Media Works and Marvelous Entertainment. Please support the offical release.
1. Advice About Love.
"Umm... Henrietta, can I ask you something?"
"Hmm," Said girl looked up from the book she was reading, "Oh-uh... sure Elsa. What is it you wanted to ask?" Henrietta put down her book and gave the girl her full attention.
"Well, it's just... what do you do when you love someone? I mean... when you really, REALLY love someone?" Elsa asked, blushing furiously.
Henrietta honestly did not know the answer. So instead, she said the first thing that came to mind.
"I think you should just come right out and tell this person how you feel. No need to be subtle or secretive, just come right out and say it."
Elsa threw her arms around the older girl. "Thank you so much Henrietta! I'll take your advice to heart!" With that, the girl skipped off down the hall.
Henrietta sighed happily, glad she could be of help. Though one resounding thought kept repeating in her head.
'Who could Elsa possibly love?'
Suddenly, just as Henrietta was about to go back to reading her book, she heard Elsa shout out from down the hallway.
"LAURO... I LOVE YOU!" The sound of several pieces of expensive equipment hitting the floor soon followed.
"EH? WHAT'RE YOU SAYING, ELSA?"
"MAKE SWEET, LOLICON LOVE TO ME!"
"NOOOOOOOOO-HO-HO-HO-HOOOOOO!"
Blood spurted from Henrietta's nose as she collapsed to the floor.
'IT... IT WAS LAURO?'
The next day, Henrietta wasn't too surprised when the police found Elsa and Lauro's lifeless bodies in the park.
2. When Cyborg's Finally Snap.
To be honest, the day had actually been fairly uneventful up until this point. But somehow, Jose knew right from the beginning that today would end with something that had never happened before.
He hated it when he was right.
Rico delivered a fierce gut punch to the person of her ire.
"YOU POMPOUS JACKASS! YOU JUST HAD TO GO THAT FAR!"
Rico just wouldn't let up her assault on the person.
"Rico, please! Stop attacking him!" Jose and Henrietta tried to stop her but were both batted back as the wronged party kept up the attack.
"NO! NOT AFTER WHAT HE DID, WHAT HE'S DONE, AND WHAT HE PLANS TO DO!"
Rico was laying a world of hurt on the poor man, her attacks becoming fiercer with each blow.
"FIRST YOU BERATE ME RELENTLESSLY, THAN YOU TELL ME IT'S OKAY TO KILL MY FIRST CRUSH, AND NOW YOU TREAT ME LIKE YOUR PERSONAL PUNCHING BAG! YOUR SO F***ING DEAD YOU BASTARD!"
Triela and Claes both came charging into the room with their guns drawn, expecting a fight. But stopped short at the odd and confusing spectacle before them.
"Please Rico," Henrietta pleaded, "Jean didn't mean to hit you!
3. The Funny Side of Irony.
"Um, Rico... what are you doing here?"
'What do I say in this situation?'
"Rico... that's are uniform."
"Oh, now I remember," Rico slowly raised her silenced pistol, "I'm sorry."
Emilo looked surprised. "You're sorry. From that silenced handgun you're holding, I'm guessing you just killed someone. Now you're about to kill me, a perfectly innocent boy who befriended you, because some idiot told you kill all witnesses. And all you can say is, 'I'm sorry.' Really... ARE YOU F***ING SERIOUS!"
"What? You were expecting some corny speech about justice?" Rico asked.
"I was kind of hoping for it." Emilo replied.
'What do I say in this situa-oh! Right! Already went through that mental dilemma.'
Rico smiled. "I'm sorry... but you only appear in one chapter. So you don't get one."
"Irony is such a bitch."
"If it makes you feel any better, the only reason this series author is killing you off is keep fans from shipping us together."
Emilo sighed depressingly. "Just shoot me already."
4. The Godfather.
Pinocchio was distraught. Why you ask? Because today was the first time he had failed a mission. He was currently standing in front of Cristiano who looked none to pleased. John Doe stood off to the side, looking nervously back and forth between the two.
"So Pinocchio," Christiano began, "I heard you missed your target."
"Yes, sir."
"Well, I'm disappointed to hear that Pinocchio... REALLY disappointed."
Off to the side, John Doe sucked in a deep breath.
'Hm? I wonder what he means by that.'
The next morning Pinocchio woke up in his bed. He let out a big yawn and sat up.
His face suddenly gained a confused look.
'What the hell?' Pinocchio thought, feeling something wet on his feet.
He pulled the sheets off his legs... and promptly unleashed a girly scream at the sight of John Doe's head in his bed.
5. Why Knocking is Important.
Hillshire would have to admit that out of all his time in the agency, the situation that stood before him was undoubtedly the most embarrassing of them all. Well... maybe not so much for him. But the three girls in the room looked absolutely mortified.
Triela was on the bed, naked as the day she was born. Her body posture was rather suggestive as she stood over Rico. The blond girl laid under her, topless but still wearing her panties. Claes was off to the side of the bed, naked as Triela.
All three of them had some rather heavy blushes adorning their cheeks.
"Um, hello ladies. Nice panties Rico, why haven't I seen that pair before.
"Uh, well, you see... I... I..."
"W-w-what the hell Triela! You said our handlers would be gone all afternoon!" Claes exclaimed.
"H-Hillshire, w-why are you he-here?" Triela stuttered.
"I told you we'd have half the day off today."
"Oops."
"Wow Triela, you acted blonder than Rico just now." Claes stated bluntly.
"Sh-shut up!"
"This is so embarrassing!" Rico cried, putting her face in her hands.
"You know what; I'll just be going now. You three just go back... to whatever it is you were doing."
"WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING!" The three girls cried indigently.
"Yeah. Uh-huh." Hillshire said, not buying a word as he closed the door and left.
I hoped you all enjoyed reading this. Reviews are not mandatory, however, they are greatly appreciated and it makes me want to update faster.