"Spring Fever" CO/S Contest
Title: Practice Makes Perfect
Word Count: 7408
Rating: T
Pairing: Jacob and Bella
Summary: This story takes place during Eclipse. Bella has asked Jake to make a new start. She wants him to try a relationship with another girl. He takes her advice and attempts looking at the girls at his school. He decides he's going to need her help to learn how to capture a girl's heart.
Disclaimer: Theses characters are the property of S. Meyer. The story is my own.
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"Yeah, Bells, I heard you the first time. Why don't you just tell that leech to mind his own business? He doesn't own you! You can visit me anytime you want to - or don't you want to? Hey, hey, hey, don't cry . . . no, I didn't mean that ... Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you either. I'm just so mad I could spit. I miss you. I never get to see you anymore. What's his deal anyway? Is he afraid I'll give you fleas? Or is he just afraid you'll change your mind, and run off with me? What? - no, that's not too farfetched. Maybe he should be a little nervous."
"Hold on . . . damn, don't tell me - He just stepped foot in your house, didn't he? Son of a . . . great - now you can't even talk to me on the phone. This is just too much to swallow. Bye, Bells. Love you . . .
I slammed the phone down onto the table so hard, that I was afraid I had broken it. I was quivering with rage. Who did he think he was, ordering her around like she was his personal slave? She knew I would never hurt her, not like he did. She's too good for him. I wish he had never come back. I wish she hadn't forgiven him. I wish . . . God, I wish she was mine! Ugh!
My tee flew across the room, and the jeans and boxers hit the wood floor. I ran out the back of the house and phased. I heard paws hitting the dirt, just behind me. A few seconds later, Embry was at my side, keeping up with my pace. Hell - just what I needed!
"You're heads all messed up again? . . . I see . . . Damn, Jake - Bella - it's always Bella. Why don't you give it up man? She's gonna be the death of you. Find yourself someone who appreciates the good guy that you are. I'm telling you – she - is - killing - you."
My nails dug into the forested carpet, as I came to a screeching halt. Embry nearly somersaulted over my back, my stop was so sudden.
"Shut up, Embry. I need to be alone. No offense, but get lost, will you?"
"Sure, I'll get lost, but it looks like you already beat me there." He wrinkled his muzzle in disgust, and ran in the opposite direction.
I laid down on the soft moss, resting my head on my paws. Embry was right. I was lost. Maybe I should play the field. I'm sure there were plenty of girls out there who would be willing to give me a shot, someone who wasn't into "necrophilia". I jogged back to the house, did my homework, showered, and hit the sack. My heart really needed the rest.
The next day at school, I tried extra hard to scrutinize the girls as they paraded by. I knew it would turn out to be a total bust. I felt like a predator, zeroing in on some innocent victim. I didn't really feel like exploring the female gender pool either. My heart wasn't in it. Any girl just wouldn't do it for me. The vision of Bella kept re-entering my mind. I can't explain what kind of hold she had on me. It's not just those chocolate eyes, or the way her mahogany hair gently falls over her shoulders. It's her voice, her mannerisms, her walk, her selflessness. It's the way she bites her bottom lip when she gets nervous, or the look of vulnerability that makes me want to throw my arms around her and protect her from harm. Even her inability to walk forward without tripping over something makes her seem all the more precious to me. How could any of these girls measure up to the girl whose image is inscribed on my heart? They can't! I'm still in love with Bells, and will be 'til my dying breath. Yet here I was at her suggestion desperately seeking someone who could make me forget – as if that were even a possibility. I could never forget - the pain would always remain with me. I stared at the girls on the "catwalk"- for all the good it did.
Jeez, I couldn't believe how picky I'd become. One girl was definitely conceited. She kept flipping her hair back over her shoulder, and raising her eyebrow. I looked at another one; she reminded me too much of Leah - yuck. And, what was with the girl that kept giggling? Then, there was miss potty mouth. Yeah, it's not like I didn't let loose with a few choice words, especially when I got pissed, but damn, that chick could've out-cussed me. What a turn off! The last girl I saw was gorgeous, but she was dressed like I might have paid her to be with me - if you get my drift. Sigh - this was going to be tough. Whoa, stop the presses . . . I noticed a likely candidate. She seemed kinda sweet and shy . . . and the boyfriend following behind her was giving me the hands-off stare. Crap!
Who was I kidding anyway? What girl in her right mind would even want to go out with an inexperienced klutz, like myself? The only girl I ever kissed was Bella, and you saw where that got me- a punch in the face and a dent to my ego. I was in serious need of love lessons. I wondered who would be willing - and stupid enough to humor me. There had to be someone I could practice with, but who?
I went home defeated. I felt like I was doomed to be a lone wolf. If only the bloodsucker would let Bells off his leash occasionally, I could be happy for a few hours at least.
I was pouring myself a glass of milk, when the phone rang. "Jake," the voice on the other end chirped excitedly, "Are you up for company?"
"Who is this?" I asked, letting the sarcasm drip off my tongue.
"It's Bella, you idiot, who else would be stupid enough to be calling you?"
Stupid enough, but would she be willing? Hmn . . .
"Who . . . ? Oh yeah . . . you must mean the Bella who never visits or calls me anymore?"
"Well I'm calling you now - getting close to hanging up though. Should I get in the truck, or stay home and write an essay on why guys can be such jerks?"
My mentation cleared instantly and I answered, "I'll meet you in the garage." Okay, so maybe she wasn't that stupid.
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Oh man, it was nauseating the way I paced up and down outside the garage. I kept my fingers crossed that Quil and Embry didn't show up to chide me for inviting more heartache. What could I do? My thoughts were always centered around Bells, as Embry so irritatingly pointed out. Aside from hypnosis or surgical intervention, her image would remain permanently ensconced in my brain. Ensconced . . . that's a good word – very descriptive – accurate too. Maybe I'm so helplessly spellbound by her that I don't even want her image to be "unensconced".
Was Embry right? Was I asking for all this pain? Should I give up trying? Just think - some people are afraid to surrender to love, 'cuz they're so scared of being hurt. But to never have loved . . . ? To never have felt that joy . . . ? that would be worse than death. Maybe that makes me a glutton for punishment, but that little glimmer of hope keeps my heart open and beating. Is that why I keep trying? Am I actually foolish enough to believe that she could inexplicably change her mind and choose me? Inexplicably, now there's another word for you – did she even know her own mind? Did she even know what the hell she needed or wanted for that matter? God, this was driving me insane. My brain was in a whirl of activity but I had to shut it down fast. Bells was due to arrive at any minute.
My ears pricked up as I heard the rumble of the old Chevy making its way down the gravel road. Adrenaline instantly flooded my body, and my breathing hitched in anticipation. Yeah, I know, I had it bad - real bad.
The truck pulled into the driveway, and I rushed out of the garage to greet her – fool that I am! She was wearing a lavender sweater – my favorite color – and form-fitting jeans. She looked sweet enough to eat. I always liked the way she dressed, never flashy, or vulgar. Her clothes were like the icing on a cake though, and how I wished I could lick some of it off. Yeah, I liked the clothes she wore, but I had a vivid imagination, all the same. Hey, I'm a guy! I can't help it.
As soon as the door slammed shut, I picked Bella up and swung her in a circle. I put her down a few seconds later so she could breathe again saying, "Long time no see, Loca. So . . . you finally convinced that bloodsucker to let you out of his sight, huh?"
She gave me a scowl. "No, actually it was Charlie. And don't call him 'that bloodsucker'.You know how I hate it when you call him that." She slapped me on the shoulder. I stole that hand away from her and steered us to the garage.
I ignored her last comment. He would always be that filthy bloodsucker to me. "No way! How in the world did Charlie make him loosen his grip?"
"I wouldn't put it that way . . . he just told him that he wanted me to see my other friends. If he didn't agree, then I'd be grounded and Edward wouldn't be able to spend time with me either. And, here I am. So – what's on our agenda today?"
I must have had "dread" written all over me, because Bells scanned my face and asked, "What's the matter, Jake? Is something bothering you?"
I took a deep breath, hesitated for a beat and blurted out, "Remember when you told me I should date other girls? Well, I decided to do it, but I'm all antsy about it."
"Why would you be worried? Plenty of girls would give their eye teeth to be with you. You're smart, funny, and sort of beautiful. Let's face it, Jake, you've also got a body to die for. So, what's the problem?"
"Jeez, this is gonna sound so bad." I looked down at the grease stained floor. Staring at my feet, I kicked aside a couple of blackened bolts and washers, with the toe of one of my work boots. When I returned my gaze to Bella, her chocolate eyes were brimming with a deep- burning concern for me.
You're my best friend, Jake. We've always been able to tell each other anything. You know I would do whatever's in my power to help you."
"Bells . . . I . . . God, this is so humiliating."
She walked right into my personal space, and placed her hand on the back of my neck, stroking my hair. I'm sure she felt me shudder at her touch. "What is it, Jake? Tell me, please. I want to help."
"You sure you want to hear this?"
"I wouldn't be standing here if I didn't. Go ahead, I'm listening." Her eyes were boring into mine now.
"I guess this isn't exactly a news flash, but you know I haven't ever been with a girl except for you. Our 'kiss' was my very first kiss, and my last. It's no joke that it was a complete disaster. I'm nearly seventeen, Bells, and I don't even know what a girl expects from me. I need someone I can trust to show me what a girl wants from a guy - someone who won't laugh at my inexperience. I want a girl who will help me – you know - practice.
"And you thought of me as that someone to practice with?"
I winced, and closed my eyes. "Forget I said anything. I don't blame you. It was really a dumb idea, huh?"
"No, not at all. I think most boys could use the practice. I'm actually flattered that you want to try out your moves on me. It might be fun."
Damn, was she kidding me? She was ready. She was willing. She was able! I couldn't believe it. My luck was changing. Ut oh, simmer down, Jake, Don't let your excitement send her running. I have to keep it casual, keep it light. Above all, I have to keep my hormones under control. I 'm gonna have to slow the pace down, way down. Good thing patience is one of my virtues.
"You really mean it? You'll help me?" I must have had the most ridiculous expression on my face, but that didn't deter Bella.
"I already said I would. When did you want to start?"
I tried not to sound too anxious. "How about now?" I wished that I was already at the goal line, but for now I could live with the knowledge that at least I was at kick off. And man, I was ready to run with that ball.
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Lesson One: What Girls Want
I leaned against the Rabbit, and Bella sat down on a crate, looking up at me.
"Okay, Bells, let's start out slow. Can you give me some general pointers?"
"Well . . . for one, when you take a girl out, you should dress nicely. In your case, be sure to wear a shirt – and shoes," she snarked. "Ask her what she would like to do, or have a plan ready yourself. Open doors for her, pull out her chair, and if she gets up, stand up with her."
"What about holding her hand, or putting an arm around her?" I played dumb, just wanting to see her reaction.
"Ask her if she would mind. A girl's not a piece of meat, Jake. She's a person with a mind of her own. She has feelings like you do."
"Here's a big one – leave out the cussing. You know how I hate it, and so do most other girls. And for the love of Pete, don't ask a girl out before knowing her. You should at least be friends first. She'll be more comfortable around you then, and more trusting."
"Jeez, I feel like I should be taking notes or something." This laundry list was getting longer by the minute. I didn't know if I could keep all this in my head. Did girls actually expect this stuff? I guess I did need lessons. I felt like I was back in kindergarten. How embarrassing!
Bella looked at me as if to say – "you asked for it". Then she continued the lecture seeming to enjoy my discomfort. "If you take a girl out to eat, you should ask her if she would like you to order for her. I know you hate Edward, but really he's such a gentleman. He takes my coat from me, asks if I'm comfortable, comes to the door, to get me – by the way – honking your horn to announce your arrival is a no-no. So see, you can take some 'dating' tips from him.
Over my dead body! And anyway, I didn't hate him, I just felt like punching him out every time I saw him, that's all. Damn, that probably wouldn't fly too well with Emily Post either, huh?
"Ookaay, I think that's enough for my teenage brain today. It's already on information overload. Let's save some for lesson two. Right now I've got to change the spark plugs on my Rabbit, or I won't be taking anybody, anywhere, anytime soon. Hey, Bells, could you please hand me that wrench over there?"
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Lesson Two: Touch Me
The next time that Bella visited, I was sure to greet her as she stepped down from the truck. I offered her my hand, walked beside her and held the door to the garage open for her. Hell, I was pouring it on thicker than molasses. I even had a chair available for her to sit on. Bells looked amazed as I pulled the chair out to seat her.
"God, it's good to see you Bells. Are you warm enough? I could get you my jacket."
"I'm fine, but you . . . Holy crow, you get an 'A' for love lesson number one. I'm impressed."
I didn't think I was capable of blushing, but I could feel the blood coloring my cheeks.
The ever-sensitive Bella pointed at me and exclaimed, "Jacob Black, you're blushing!" Then unbelievably, she started to giggle. So much for my manly pride . . .
"Alright, you had your little laugh – at my expense I might add. Is there something you'd like to do today, or should we start on love lesson number two?"
"By all means, let's get started. I did all the talking last time, so why don't you say what's on your mind?"
"I thought that maybe we could do a little 'hands on' experimenting. Is that all right with you?"
"Sure, sure, I'm game."
She was 'game'? Damn, my heart rate kicked up a notch. Was it possible that my palms were sweaty too? Why does this girl tie me up in knots like this? Steady there Jake. Take a breath. Don't lose control.
I grabbed a nearby rag, and wiped my hands on them. "Let's pretend we're going for a walk. Bells, would you mind very much . . . I mean . . . you know . . . if I held your hand?"
She stood up next to me and answered, "Of course not; I'd like that."
I took her small hand in mine, practically enveloping it completely." She smiled up at me and commented, "Your hands always feel so warm. You know, it makes me feel safe, and cared for. Can I show you something though?"
This time it was my turn to say, "Sure, sure."
Bella moved our clasped hands and placed them against my chest right over my rapidly beating heart. "There, don't you like that better?"
Did I ever! Man, I thought my heart was going to jump through my tee shirt. I wondered if she could feel it too. I could even hear it thumping away furiously. The sound was ricocheting around the inside of my skull.
She interrupted my thoughts with, "What about this?"
Bells interlaced her fingers with mine and brushed her lips across my knuckles. I'm tellin' ya, my knees were turning to jelly. And . . . We hadn't even gotten to the good stuff yet. It was amazing. I actually learned something new. Who would've thought there would be so many ways to hold hands?
"What's next?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant. There's no penalty for 'holding' in this game. Hurry up Bells, the clock is ticking.
"Do you want me to show you how to hold a girl in your arms?" She looked at meso sincerely.
Damn straight! Bring it on, girl!
I bit my tongue – it was probably hanging out of my mouth at any rate. "Sure, sure, but, you put my arms where you think they should be. I'll be your puppet." She sure as hell was pulling my strings.
Bells leaned up against me, her back to my torso. She reached out for my hands on either side of herself, and folded my arms over her shoulders, resting her own on top of mine. Then she gripped both of my biceps holding them tightly. I instinctively tucked the side of my head into the crook of her neck. When I realized what I had done, I quickly murmured, "Does this make you uncomfortable?"
I couldn't swear to it, but I thought I heard her moan softly. That was my answer. My wolf senses also detected a little skip in her heart rhythm. We were so close and she was responding to it. Oh sure, she could deny it but hey, her body's reaction could prove otherwise. God, I loved this girl!
Her scent was swirling about my head. The aroma was having it's effect on me. I felt like I was in a drunken stupor. Okay, so I've never even had one drink – but I could imagine what it would be like, couldn't I?
Letting go of my arms, she whispered,"Um . . . I think I better let you take a turn."
She didn't have to tell me twice. I wrapped both arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. My cheek was now glued to hers. Jeez, it was gonna be tough to say goodbye to her today. It was gonna be even tougher to sleep tonight. Ugh!
I reluctantly pried away from her, releasing her from my grasp. I returned my arm to wrap around her shoulder. Tucking her into my side, I asked, "Is this okay with you?"
"Yeah," she stuttered, "it . . . it . . . it feels nice."
"What about now?" my arm encircled her waist again, the sides of our bodies touching once more.
Bella swallowed thickly, and whispered, "Mmn, hmn."
I nuzzled my nose against the side of her neck. Was it my imagination, or was she quivering? My confidence grew bolder. I stroked the area behind her ear, with my finger, then continued down her throat to her exposed collarbone. Thank God she wasn't wearing a turtleneck sweater today.
She pulled away suddenly, her face flushed. "Uh, you've definitely got the touching part down pat. Lesson over!"
Damn, was she was actually out of breath? I could hardly believe it. Hope was once again beginning to swell in my overburdened heart.
"Yeah? You're not just saying that, are you?" I knew better, 'cuz there she was trembling in my arms – these arms that were still wrapped around my Bella. I never wanted to let her go.
"No – you've got it – in deuces. Those girls are going to be so lucky. They better hold onto their hearts." She bit down on her bottom lip. God, I loved it when she did that. "I think I might even be a little jealous."
Whoa, be still my heart. I'm going to crumple into a helpless heap any second now. Hold it together Jake!
"Well, I better be going. Homework, supper, the usual . . ."
"Damn, oops – I mean darn, Bells. You haven't even been here an hour yet."
"Yeah . . . well . . . I . . . I think I . . . I mean . . . I need to go."
Don't you really mean – before you do something in the realm of sensually stupid?
Bella turned to leave and being Bella, tripped over some wiring left lying about. I caught her before she could hit the garage flooring. She had flung her arms around my neck as well – to break her fall. She gazed into my eyes for a moment with the strangest expression on her face. Her chocolate brown orbs widened in wonderment and her pupils dilated in an awakening arousal. She dropped her arms quickly. Her face was literally a bright shade of crimson. Pulling away from me, she started to back up. In her haste, she nearly knocked over the chair.
She continued backing out of the garage "I've . . . I've . . . reallygottagobye!"
I just stared, like an idiot, watching her as she exited the garage. Hopefully, the outside air would clear up any jumbled mess in her befuddled brain. I could tell she was rattled, and hellaconfused, but not me – nope – I wasn't the least bit confused. I knew she was in love with me . . . at least I thought so. Please Bella, please be in love with me.
Man, I taught her a lesson today. And that is: never underestimate the mating rituals of a teenage werewolf. Now that was something to howl about - Ooow, ooow, ooow!
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Recess: The silence is Deafening
A week and a half went by, and still no Bella. My budding confidence was withering away in the chilly silence. She was never home when I called, or sleeping or some other exasperating excuse. Poor Charlie, I knew he hated lying to me, but what's a father to do? I was just about ready to screw the treaty and haul my butt over there and ask her what her problem was. Of course I already knew the answer – she was scared – sacred sh**less. Bella was afraid of her own feelings for me – how typically Bella. Now how was that fair to either of us? If she would just get it off her chest, we could both be happy.
I'll bet that poisonous viper was whispering things in her ear too. Damn that pasty parasite! I would gladly pay his plane ticket to Volterra, and bribe one of the big suck-ups there to accidentally pop his head off. He'd never be able to pop off at anyone ever again, least of all, Bella.
I finally had enough of the silent treatment. I was really getting pissed. I called her house again. Charlie answered – big surprise!
"Hey Charlie, I know Bella has been telling you to lie for her, well now can you lie for me – just this once? I've gotta know what I did that's making her act this way. I'm clueless. Please Charlie, help me out here. I can't stand this silent treatment anymore. I'm losing sleep over it. Can you just call her to the phone. You don't have to say that I'm on the line. You will? Oh thank God, I owe you an oil change."
I heard him call to Bella, and she picked up the phone. "Hey Bells – wait – please don't hang up. Look, whatever I did, I'm sorry. Just tell me how to fix this. I can't sleep at night, I can't eat . . . I'm dying here. What do you mean I didn't do anything wrong? Then why won't you come and see me? For Pete's sake, it was your idea for me to date other girls, and I didn't want to embarrass myself. You said you would help me practice, so what's the deal?"
"Can I tell you something? I think the whole problem is that you find yourself attracted to me and you – just – won't – admit – it. You're so scared that you'll lose control, that you'd rather not see me at all. That's so like you to run away from the truth. Why can't you for once, let down your guard and just feel what you feel? Don't be afraid to love me. Yes you are – you're in love with me Bells. You know it, and I know it! What do you mean 'I'm imagining things'? Oh, so it's not true, huh – well then come on over to my garage and prove it to me. I'm due for Love Lesson number three. Okay, I'll be waiting here. Bye."
Damn, for once her bad temper tipped the scales in my favor. Her pride couldn't let me win this little skirmish. She has to prove me wrong. Only in this case I'm gonna turn the tables on her. The war of the sexes is on.
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Lesson Three: Kissing 101
Bells was pulling into my driveway within fifteen minutes. How she ever coaxed that speed out of the old Chevy I'll never know.
I met her at the truck – just like last time – hey, I still remembered Lesson one. She seemed cool – at least she pretended she was cool about this. Sometimes I think she should have been an actress.
She didn't flinch when I took her by the hand. That was a good sign. She even smiled at me. I could tell it was a put-on though – she couldn't fool me.
"Well Mr. Smarty Pants," she smirked with that fake smile lingering on her lips, "what are we practicing today? Licking and grinding?"
"No, we'll leave that for Lessson four," I flung at her sarcastically. Yeah, I guess I was still a little pissed. "I want a lesson on lip-locking."
Her snarky little smile vanished. It was replaced by a look of sheer panic. "Hold on a minute Jake. I'm the last person who should be teaching you kissing techniques. Edward is so careful with me, so I'm probably a novice just like you are."
"Well now, this could be real interesting. You can be totally reckless, Bella. You don't have to be careful with me, feel free to do whatever you want." Puh-leese! I'm begging you. I might never get this chance again. At least leave me a memory. I've longed to kiss you – really kiss you – for two years now.
She looked around at the four walls surrounding the garage. I noticed her eyes following the Rabbit, then my workbench, the tools lying about, and the grease rags in the corner. Finally they turned toward me. She gazed at my feet, trailing her vision up my legs, to my chest and at last resting on my face. Her warm eyes studied my features intently. A deer in the headlights suddenly sprang to mind. That expression was so beautiful – she was so beautiful. She took what little breath I'd been holding, clean away!
"Bells . . . ," I found my voice again, "There's no one else here. You and me – we're all alone in the Taj Mahal – just Jake and Bells. What are you afraid of? You know I'd rather die than intentionally hurt you, right? Don't you trust me?"
"It's me I don't trust," she muttered almost imperceptibly. She let out a defeated sigh.
"What did I do wrong – you know, the time I kissed you – and you belted me in the kisser?"
"There was nothing wrong with the kiss itself. I probably would have enjoyed it, if you hadn't FORCED it on me."
All I heard was "would have enjoyed it." Swee-eet!
"Alright . . . Show me how to do it correctly then." I was all ears – and a racing heart.
"First of all, make sure the girl wants to be kissed – get it? Start out slow. Test the waters by stroking her arm or her shoulder."
I inched up to her. "You mean like this?" I gently placed my hand on her shoulder, rubbing it softly.
"Yeah, that's good. Now get closer, lock your eyes with mine. If I step back, or start to say something, then forget it. I'm not ready yet, see? But if I don't, then visit my lips with your eyes and run your tongue over your own lips. That way, they'll glide better when we kiss. Now, put your hand behind my neck and very gently pull my head toward yours. Angle your face so that our noses won't get in the way, and give me a closed mouth kiss, or two. Then, slowly open your mouth and . . . well . . . you know. Oh, and don't forget to close your eyes when our lips touch.
Damn, I hate to brag, but I'm such a good student. I followed her directions exactly. I peered longingly into those melted chocolate eyes, moistened my lips with my tongue, and drew her face close to mine. I touched my lips to hers, lightly brushing them against hers once . . . twice. She parted hers ever so slightly and my restraint slipped away. I touched her cheek and stroked her hair. My hands found their way to her hips, then her waist. Our mouths moved together in a sensuous dance. She followed my cues as if she was born to it. Suddenly, her fingers were clenched around handfuls of my hair. It was then that I felt her begin to shudder. I pulled back and gazed in her eyes again, her pupils enlarged in an immediate reaction. God, they were stunning me with their beauty. I blazed a trail of light kisses behind her ear, the nape of her neck, and ending at her now extended throat. I could never feel this way with anyone else. What will I do if I lose her forever?
As a last resort, I grasped at my chance to try out something I had Emily and Sam demonstrate for me. Advanced kissing technique! I pulled her lips to mine once more, only this time I languorously licked her top lip. I planted a kiss and opened my mouth a bit, letting the tip of my tongue push against her lips. She parted them as expected, and let my tongue glide over and under hers in a slow undulating fashion. Her back arched and her moaning was giving me a "heart attack". I slowly explored her mouth, and soon her tongue was invading my space! I caught the end of it and suckled it gently. She pulled away, gasping.
"Jake," she breathed, "What are you doing to me? Jake . . ."
This time, she pulled me to her, wrapping her arms about my neck, devouring me with her mouth. Hell, I wasn't complaining, mind you. It was positively AWESOME!
Then the bomb dropped. Bells pushed against my chest, loosening my hold on her. She covered her face with her hands. She began to sob uncontrollably and fell to her knees. I knelt down with her, holding her shaking body close to my own. "Shh, shh, it's okay Bells. Go ahead and cry, let it all out. I understand. Let it out, honey- that's right, let it out."
Bella stood up quickly, and without looking back, ran out of the garage. I could hear her crying all the way to the truck. I tried to stop her but I had hesitated too long - the Chevy was already roaring to life. It pulled out of the driveway and raced down the gravel road.
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Bella wouldn't answer any of my calls for the rest of the day. As I lay in bed that night, I stared at the cracked plaster on the ceiling, brooding about what the hell I did wrong this time. I know she enjoyed our little "episode". I could still hear her low moans echoing in my ears. I'm tellin' ya, those throaty sounds she was making nearly had me undone. Damnit, what is wrong with that girl? How could she possibly be that clueless? I was frustrated. I was depressed. I was lonely. I was hopeless – and hurting again. I could feel my heart breaking in two. If only I could stop loving her!
It was nearly impossible to sleep. My mind kept replaying the scene of Bells and me French kissing in my garage. I could still feel my hands slipping around her waist, grasping her soft flesh under the cream colored blouse she was wearing. The sight of her dilated pupils was having their effect on me too. I kept seeing them over and over again. Then my brain would revert to the feel of her lips on mine, and the taste of her tongue. It was the worst kind of torture. Through it all, Embry's words came back to haunt me . . . "She – is – killing – you – man!"
In the morning, I tried calling Bella again. I got the same routine. Bells isn't home, she's in the shower, blah, blah, blah. I sat down at the kitchen table, and pulled at my hair with exasperation. I was at my wits end. What more could I do? My poor heart couldn't take much more of this. In my frustration, I trudged out to the garage and punched a hole in one of the walls. Great, now I'd have to fix the gaping hole peering back at me. I wouldn't have minded so much if it made me feel better, but it didn't help at all. It was now a glaring reminder of the girl who broke my heart, the girl who ran out of my life.
I was in a rotten mood the next day. What do you expect? I hadn't slept in two nights, and hadn't eaten a thing. Quil and Embry stopped by. I gave them some tools and we set to work.
Embry was pestering me for details of my last run in with Bella. I stopped him cold. I wasn't one to kiss and tell anyway. He knew that, so why was he pumping me?
"Look, guys, I love you, but I don't want to talk today. Let's just get the brake pads replaced, okay?"
"Someone I know having girl trouble?"
"What did I just say, Quil? Will you put a lid on it . . .? Please!"
"Speak of the devil...," Embry retorted.
I looked up, and saw Bella ambling up the drive heading my way. "Sh**!"
"Hey, man, I don't want to be a witness to this," Embry blurted out. "Come on Quil let's make ourselves scarce."
Quil looked irritated. "Damn, we always miss out on all the fun. See ya, Jake."
Bells stood in the doorway, a determined expression on her face. She was wearing my favorite perfume, Wicked Wahine. The scent wafted through the air, assaulting every frayed nerve in my body. Great – would my tortures never cease? She was also wearing the dark green rayon top, the one that had the special silky feel to it. It clung to her, accenting her soft curves. Ordinarily, I would have been glad to see her in it, but I was not in the mood today. Who was I kidding? She could have walked in – wearing a burlap sack – I still would've had to wipe the drool off my mouth. Did she have the slightest idea what she was doing to me? God, what pain was she going to inflict on me now? I cringed inwardly.
We held eye contact for a few minutes. She shifted her weight between her feet a few times, and did that thing with her bottom lip. Have mercy! Ugh!
"What do you want Bella?" I snarled with as much acid as I could muster. I threw down my socket wrench forcefully, letting her know how angry I was. It hit the corner wall with a loud bang.
She didn't flinch. In fact she seemed oblivious to the fact that I was pissed off at her. "I want to ask you something." She squinted down at her shoes for a moment.
Here it comes, Jake. You'd better duck if you want to dodge the bullet.
She looked me straight in the eye, and said,"Do you love me, Jake?"
What the hell . . . ? I wasn't expecting this! I took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.
"Bells, where've you been for the last two years – under a rock? Oh, no . . . I should clarify that . . . it was a six foot two, cold-stone statue! What do you think I've been trying to tell you all this time? It was always you, it will always be you. I've tried to stop, but it's like trying to stop a force of nature. I guess I'm just dumb ol' pathetic Jake, huh?" I hoped she heard the sarcasm in that last comment.
I no sooner got the words out of my mouth, than she rushed into my arms, slamming me against the Rabbit. It nearly toppled off the cinder blocks from the impact. Her mouth clamped onto mine like a lamprey eel.
At first, my mind was in such shock, that I stood there crushed between Bells and my car like a stunned imbecile. Didn't take me long for my wiring to start crackling with energy though.
The next few minutes was an encore of our previous lip-locking session. Good thing I punched that hole in the wall. There needed to be an escape valve for the steam that was building up inside my little garage.
Bella was the first to break the kiss. She peered at me with those big brown eyes, and choked out, "Can you forgive me Jacob . . .? I mean . . . forgive me for hurting you? Will you forgive me for being such a coward? Please . . . please? Don't be mad at me, I can't stand it! I'm sorry that I was so stupid. I'm in love with you, Jacob Black. Do you hear me, I love you." Her eyes began to tear, and I felt mine doing the same. She started to cry again, but this time she clung to me as if her life depended upon it. I'm not ashamed to tell you that I was crying with her.
Our lips met again in the French way, if you get my drift. The glorious sound of her moans filled the air, accompanied by plenty of my own. I was amazed at the ferocity of her response. She was really into it. It wasn't until she started feverishly pulling up on my tee shirt, that I realized how "into it" she was!
"Whoa, Bells, hold on . . . we can't. You know that I really, really want to, but we can't."
"Why not? I want you, Jake."
Okay, I admit it already. I had dreamed of hearing those very words for as long as I can remember.
"Cuz . . . God, you're gonna make me say it, aren't you? I'm an absolute amateur, I'm still a – no – I can't utter the word – well you know what I'm trying to say. I don't want to hurt you - or worse yet disappoint you. I don't have any protection handy either. It's not like I was planning on having sex any time soon. Look, if you were any other girl, maybe I would go for it. Nah, I take that back, I don't even want to think about making love to anyone but you. Do you know how long I've fantasized about the two of us being together? But I can't – not like this. I love you Bells. I want our first time to be special. I want to know without a doubt, that we have this – you know - unbreakable bond between us. I love you too much to think otherwise. Anyway, to be truthful, I think . . . nah . . . I know . . . I need more lessons first.
Still breathing heavily, Bella smiled up at me, and groaned, "As long as those practice sessions are with me. Next lesson . . . licking and grinding, remember?"
I shut my eyes in contentment and let out a sigh of relief. I inhaled her scent and let it wash over me, flooding my senses. My arms closed around her like a set of steel bands. Nothing was gonna part us, not now, not ever.
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Three Months later:
All was right with the world. Two weeks after Bells and I became a couple, Victoria got cornered by the pack. She was gone – gone for good this time. Bells and I were finally able to relax and concentrate on our relationship. I am happy to say that our lessons continued. We even wrote love letters to each other! Our bond grew stronger and stronger. I began to wear a shirt – and shoes and socks – when I was around her. She wore that dark green rayon blouse more often. I'm not saying that everything was perfect – but then practice does make perfect, right? And damn, we sure did practice – a lot! Hey, I'm not stupid! Well, be honest, wouldn't you? Yeah – I thought so.