Stories of Milhouse and (Hopefully) Lisa
Warning: There will be a severe case of OOCness and canon flaws in this fic. It was all due to the author's lack of knowledge regarding all 400 episodes of The Simpsons. The author was really sorry.
The Dictionary Didn't Wear Tennis Shoes
Bart Simpson had nothing to do. Even the best prankster can only do so much jokes, pranks, and wedgies in one day. So he wandered around the neighborhood, occasionally laugh at his neighbors' zany antics.
He found Milhouse Van Houten, one of his best (as in 'easily used') friend was focusing on a really thick dictionary. The dictionary was titled, 'Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary Deluxe for 999th Reading Level.'
"What are you doing with that dictionary, Milhouse?"
Milhouse looked at his best friend. "Lisa liked people who memorized every definition of every word in a dictionary, right? So I tried to memorize everything. And I am proud to say that I remembered most of these!"
Bart took the dictionary and opened a page. "So what is the definition of 'definition'?"
Milhouse opened his mouth, but no sound was spoken. His eyes moved to left and right, trying to remember. Five minutes passed and he still didn't say anything. Bart sighed, and opened another page.
"3.499.999 more words to go, Milhouse."
Paint Your Pick-Up Lines
Milhouse looked at his parents. They were once divorced, to which he was delighted, but recently they get back together. He liked it when they were divorced, so he tried to separate them again. After an unfortunate incident involving stupid acts such as jumping from a bridge, he turned it down. Still, he wondered how come after such fierce disagreement before they were divorced, they got back together.
"How come you first dated each other anyway?" asked Milhouse to his parents. Kirk and Luann simply smiled.
"Well, I was really handsome at Junior High, and my pick-up lines were so damn deadly-"Luann cut Kirk and continued, still smiling,
"-which was 'you know Pandora's box, right? You're like that, except change all the emotions with 'beauty' and then it was you. Just don't change the hope.'"
Kirk blushed at this, but Luann continued to smile. Milhouse frowned. "Who in their sane minds would use such a lame pick-up line?"
"The fact was, your father was not in his sane mind. He's madly in love," said Luann. "Just promise us never use it. A girl these days would surely rolling on the floor laughing when you said such pick-up line."
"Oh, believe me, Milhouse. Trend comes round someday," assured Kirk Van Houten.
(Nine Years Later)
"You know Pand-Pandora's Box, right? Y-y-you're like that, except ch-change all the emotions with 'beauty' and t-t-then it was you. Just don't change the h-h-hope," said Milhouse, his body shivered out of shame. Lisa blinked once, twice, before crossing her hands and said,
"You realize that would mean all I have was inner beauty, I have no emotions except reckless hope, and apparently I am locked from the community, right?"
Milhouse looked left and right. He had no words to counter Lisa's. Five minutes passed, with silence beyond them. Suddenly Lisa smiled, and took Milhouse's hands. "If you don't realize it, I'll be your girlfriend until you did."
Milhouse smiled awkwardly while walking together with Lisa to the college.
Painflip 360
Pain was always part of Sprifieldians' life. Everyday, a man or woman will have his or her hands stuck on various things start from their car door to paper shredder. Everyday, a man or woman, mostly man though, will fall off from the cliff to the hard grounds below. Everyday, a man or woman will have wrestling battles in either a bar or a mall. Most battles went from simple arm wrestling to downright mutiny. Everyday, 97 percent of every way to inflict pain was done on Springfield. 95 percent of them belonged to Homer.
Milhouse was not an exception. When the skateboard trend took over when he was 17, he couldn't help but to try. His instinct weren't good enough to know that 'the 900' was not in the beginner level, and his bones weren't good enough to sustain damage from falling from three-level height. Combine those two and you got a poor, poor Milhouse. He was hurt so much that he swore not to touch the skateboard again forever when he was in a hospital ward.
When Lisa visited and Marge told him that Lisa was very worried, however, he retracted his swear.