I wasn't happy with the previous story. As I am still having MASSIVE block for my other stories, I decided to write something a tad more light hearted. I wasn't really feeling more drama. FemAmericaxWorld
I own nothing. Rated M.
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Later, much later, everyone would look back and blame the conversation with Finland. Because, through common consensus, there was no way America would EVER have come up with such an outlandish idea.
And considering they were talking about America, that was saying something.
Finland, dear sweet, adorable, and kind hearted Finland; gave America a terrible idea. A gloriously terrible idea. An idea so horrid that it would rock the known world for the rest of time to come.
It all happened on the 5th of May, as America was passing by one of the conference rooms, trying to act respectable because she'd been getting into a little bit of trouble lately. Not, that she saw it as entirely her fault. Sometimes, unfortunately, she very much liked to simplify things and others just did not see the pure genius in her blunt responses. Her boss had also been breathing down her neck about their weakened state.
Alright... she'd been bad. Very bad. And a few countries, like only 50 or so, were more than a tad pissed off.
So, in truth, America was stealthily attempting to find a good hiding spot. She was a hero, so she didn't really hide, but being the amazing logistics country that she was; she knew when to discreetly get the heck outta dodge. There were a few of the middle eastern countries that had looked down right murderous...
America would deal with it later. She snuck down the hallway, humming her awesome patriotic songs, and had stumbled upon a morose looking Finland.
"Hey moon-face!" America called out enthusiastically as she slapped the surprised man on the shoulder.
Maybe a bit too hard. Said moon-face, which was a little plump -no one had better start commenting on her weight-straightened his rounded shoulders in surprise.
"Gah!" His violet eyes were wide with shock and fear. The look suddenly turned to worry. "America? What are you doing here?" His question was simplistic, but held a gentle tone that nearly had America crooning at him in delight.
He was adorable! She just wanted to stuff his little face with French fries!
Oh... she was hungry again.
"Sorry papa!" She chirped, watching as he blushed to the roots of his hair and stammered.
"What?"
"Well," the boisterous nation replied, "remember when talked a Christmas a few years back?"
Finland appeared confused, his plump face was scrunched up in confusion until he remembered America's jealousy over other nations receiving presents from their fathers. A soft, sweet smile graced his face.
"But you forgot the beard dumbass," America pointed out, poking him twice in the forehead.
It killed the moment, but Finland smiled none the less, shaking his head at unpredictable nation.
"Ah America, you scamp!" He replied, still slightly saddened, though some-what cheered up.
"Huh?" America replied, staring at Finland. "What's got you down dude?" Though it was the normal crass America talking, her tone actually was concerned. She'd always had a soft spot for Finland.
"Tell good 'ol America," she replied flashing a thumbs up and allowed her eyes to stare out the window a minute, wondering if the vending machine down the hall sold Coke. Her attention snapped back to the man in front of her.
Finland appeared embarrassed and eager to speak at the same time. However, it was America, and America had a reputation for having a loud mouth.
As if she could read his thoughts, America turned and closed the door to the room, she looked back at Finland.
"It stays between you and me, or I won't eat cheeseburgers for a year," she swore solemnly. Nantucket bobbed, as if it were agreeing.
Perhaps the nation he had found accidently so long ago was finally growing up.
"So," America said casually, " tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me!"
"Well..." Finland began hesitantly, "I was recalling old memories."
America blinked, and did her best to be attentive. Oh crap, she hoped this wasn't going to be some long and boring ass story about 'back in the old country'.
"You see," he said peeking up at her through misty violet eyes, "Sweden is here today, and sometimes it is so hard to interact with him."
"Why dude?" America asked softly, with sincerity. "I'd never let him hurt ya. I'm the hero, remember?" She chided him gently.
Finland blushed again, his face the very picture of bittersweet worry. "No, no. It is not that. It is just... well, America, a long time ago... Sweden called me his 'wife'."
The young nation startled. Her sky blue eyes were as wide as saucers. Her blonde hair swayed as she cocked her head to the side to stare at the gentle country in shock.
"What?!"
Finland winced. "No-not so loud!" He whispered with a touch of irritation.
America had the grace to look apologetic. "My bad." She waved him to continue on. "I'm sorry, you were saying?"
"Well, you see. Sweden and I once left together, to get away from Tanska, Denmark, and during that time we bonded. Granted he is still an intimidating guy, but you know it wasn't so bad? He kept the largest, tougher nations away from me and-"
"Wait," America interrupted with a huge smile and excitement practically radiating off of her. "Sweden kept the meaner, and would you say possibly more prissy, nations away?"
Finland blinked in surprise. "Yes, I just said-"
"And all you had to do," she continued on as if he hadn't spoke, "was be his wife?"
"Well," the older nation stammered, "I never acted as his 'wife'-"
"That is perfect!" America hollered, clearly overjoyed. "Oh papa! You've just saved my ass!" She quickly rushed to Finland and gave him a kiss on the cheek, giggling giddily like a child in the schoolyard. She pumped a fist in the air and started belting out 'You're a Grand Old Flag' at the top of her lungs as she flung open the door and proceeded to march down the hallway.
Poor sweet, adorable Finland could only stand there and wonder what had just happened.
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"You will have exactly eight minutes, not one second more, and you shall not bring up past transgressions about my country. Now does anyone have something to bring to this meeting?" Germany shouted with authority. Several countries sat straighter in their chairs.
One delicate hand rose in the back. Germany barely held back a groan of disappointment.
"America? You have the floor." He barked again, like a drill sergeant.
America grinned at him playfully. Germany raised a brow in confusion. Clearly, the unbalanced nation was up to something. He would have to make sure it did not involve Italy again.
America walked to the front podium, she looked back at the sea of faces with a stern face.
"I would like to propose that all of you turn to page 78, of the proposal handed out by my nation." She commanded with a regal sense that had Germany blinking in surprise, and possibly admiration.
She did not sound forceful enough, however. He would offer to teach her, but America was notoriously hard headed.
"Now," she continued in a mature fashion, "what I am about to say might shock you. However, I ask for your participation in this. Please, it is very important."
"It's... and 'x'," France said abruptly, "I would insult you America, but this would be far to easy."
America bore it all with grace. "Indeed. Some of you have 'x's and some of you have-"
"I have an check mark," Lithuania commented, with an expression that was borderline helpful.
"Yes, that is because after careful consideration, I, the United States of America, have come to a very important decision."
Finland looked highly uncomfortable, nearly green in complexion. His face was a mixture of horror and terror.
All eyes were on her, their attention varying between boredom and amusement. Some were even irate.
"I will be looking to take a husband."
You could have heard a pin drop in the room. No one dared move or breathe.
The cheerful, energetic, and sometimes vain country continued on as if the room hadn't come to a stand-still.
"For those of you that have received and 'x', I do apologize, but our compatibility is very low. For those that have been given a check mark; I consider you to be a good potential match."
A few strangled noises broke through the silence.
Iceland was the first to muster up the courage to address the rather difficult announcement.
"You wish to 'marry' one of us?" He was hard to read, and America had never really interacted with him all that much. All she could recall is that he was fond of licorice. However, they weren't on bad terms, and that counted very much to the Untied States.
"Yes," she answered her voice neutral and her face passive.
"Why?" The other nation inquired stoically.
"I have my reasons, some of them known to you, some not." America replied cryptically, "This is a intelligent move on my part," she coaxed subtly, "and you and I both know that such a union would boost many things, possibly economically."
Iceland looked thoughtful, he was suspicious of Russia helping him with his own financial burdens, and he had other... carnal reasons for being intrigued. He was a very passionate country by nature, and there were times that he'd watched America. He declined to question anything further, there would be a more advantageous time to speak with the alluring nation.
"This is shameful," South Korea uttered with a blush decorating his handsome features.
America turned toward him, walking like a woman with purpose, and the way she walked reminded several countries that she was indeed female. She lowered her thick lashes, a look of contrition on her face as she bowed slightly.
"I'm so sorry, oppa," America enunciated the word carefully. She sounded almost like a native, perhaps it was due to the fact that America was home to people from just about every nation. Whatever it was, it had South Korea's face heating up.
The bold female country knew she could take his admiration just a touch further.
"Wouldn't I make a great wife?" She asked, turning her gaze away shyly. "We could even play video games together." She temptingly offered.
Yet another male was stunned to silence.
"America, you horse's ass," Britain snarled with obvious mortification. "We've no time for your silly games you chit!"
She turned a sultry look on England, one that nearly had him taking a step back for fear he might do something he regretted. Her sweet lips formed a rather naughty pout and she stared up at him with blue eyes. Ones he clearly remembered, but never looking at him quite like that.
"England," she purred with a colonial accent that only served to cause his trousers to tighten. Dear Lord, how long had it been since he'd heard her talk like that? Too many years. "Don't you want me anymore?"
The look of innocent distress coupled with her flirtatious nature nearly undid him. He didn't trust himself to speak, and took a moment to shake his head rapidly to make sure this wasn't some trick of the sprites. America closed in on him, nearly stalking her prey as she moved across the floor. England had seen America many times, in many different outfits as time had progressed. However, when she was so close that he could feel the heat from her body, his mind stopped working.
He had to fight to keep his composure, which he did. She leaned into him, only inches away.
"I could belong to you again," she whispered softly against his ear.
England was thunder struck.
"America," a soft voice scolded her, "you shouldn't cause such a ruckus. You'll upset people. You need to learn to be more-"
The quirky woman backed away and rounded on her neighbor, Canada with a knowing smile.
"Canada," she interrupted calmly.
"Eh? Yes?"
She stood in front of his portion of the desk and leaned on her elbows. She reached her thin fingers toward his two toned hair, curling one of the wavy locks. She'd done many things with Canada, played ball together, grown up together with him, and even rough housed with him. While they were not siblings, there had always been a closeness there that the U.S. had never breeched... until now.
She was, after all, husband hunting.
The poor sensitive northern country looked oddly intrigued and at the same time he was petrified. America was actually concerned that he might not have been breathing.
She grinned at him, something rather naughty that had his previous thoughts flying out the window.
"Have I ever told you how much I love maple leaves?"
Canada swallowed so loudly that the nations across the room could hear it clearly. He soon scowled at her. "America, I am not going to believe that you-"
She bumped their foreheads together gently. "You know how much I value such an impressive tactician." Her smile was sincere. "I still remember how you tricked me into opening those letters. 'Snacks inside', eh?." She reminded him fondly. She allowed the lock of hair she had been playing with to drop.
Canada was at a loss. America was the one that always remembered him, though they had a rivalry of trying to forget each other's names. Or, at least, that is what Canada told himself. However. she had visited him quite regularly lately and if America was offering something like this, he doubted it was a joke on every single nation.
That was too crazy, even for America.
His mind made up, Canada blushed and nodded shyly. He'd have to take some time to think about it.
America surveyed the room. There were many nations that were upset by not even being considered, but America was looking for someone that could be intimidating and would make her their wife. So, she needed someone that fit the bill, and the fact was that not every nation did.
"Why do I have a check mark?" Hungary asked politely, but with confusion.
America perked up slightly. "Oh, because you are awesome!"
That seemed to only confuse Hungary more. "I don't understand."
"Well, we all know how you saved Austria long ago, and besides," America continued on sweetly, "you keep Prussia in line."
"No one keeps Prussia in-"
"Prussia, darling," The United States rebuffed easily, "I am talking." She winked at him playfully, causing the 'Great' Prussia to mutter to himself, but remain otherwise quiet.
Hungry looked... startled.
"I'll be a good wife, don't you worry." America promised readily. Her blue eyes met several others, "To whomever I end up with." Satisfied that several people were at the very lest intrigued by her offer, the United States thanked everyone and announced that Germany would take the lead once more.
"Oh, and Germany?" She said quietly as she passed by him, on her way to returning to her seat.
The blonde nation looked at her with a stern expression.
"That was exactly eight minutes," her tone was saucy and suggestive.
His eyes widened in shock as he realized she was correct. He check his watch twice to be certain.
"Yes," he replied absently, "so it was. Very good."
Her blue eyes trailed up and down his body in an apprising manner.
"No one runs a meeting as well as you do Germany," she told him truthfully.
He would have been able to possibly stave off her charm... if she hadn't chosen that moment to wink at him.
America kept a demure smile on her face and tried to keep herself from shouting with excitement. Hopefully she would get some response from this!
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She began to regret her decision, momentarily, when she wasn't even able to even make it to boarding the plane without 71 messages.
Fifteen of which were from the Netherlands. America blinked in confusion.
He hadn't even been at the meeting.