A/N: This story contains (somewhat) non-consentual sex. You've been warned.
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Captain Kathryn Janeway started the evening with the presumption that the dinner spent with her first officer was going to be like all the ones before it. A nice bottle of wine, replicated dinner; and afterwards, a quiet chat by starlight. It was a common thing for them to do, and they did so once a week. Dinner was usually in her quarters because of the large, spacious living area.
Perfectly normal. Or so she thought.
She never knew that when she invited Chakotay to her quarters, she would get to see his dark side.
They had enjoyed a light vegetable soup with apple pie for desert, and now were finishing a bottle of merlot that Chakotay found in his things. They were a bit tipsy from the wine and found themselves sitting a little closer than usual under the window in her living area.
"Kathryn, when was the last time you were in love?" He asks out of the blue. She furrows her brow and stares at him quizzically.
"What the hell kind of question is that?"
"Oh, I'm just curious." He flashes his handsome dimples at her. She sighs and shakes her head. Saying no to that smile would be like turning down a good cup of coffee.
"Not since Mark. I really haven't had the time to think about it."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Well..." She has to think for a moment. Kathryn really doesn't want to lie to him. "I have thought of one or two men that way, but I've never acted on it."
Chakotay opens his mouth to speak again, but she interrupts him.
"What about you?"
"I suppose a few women have caught my eye. One in particular..." He looks at her with eyes of velvet. "But she won't allow me to love her."
Kathryn looks at her wine glass for a few moments, as if the dark red liquid inside it will give her the answers she seeks. Then she sets it down on the coffee table and stands. Chakotay does the same.
"I think you should be going now." She suggests, her voice more lustful than she'd like it to be. He looks hurt for a moment, but his eyes quickly fill with rage. He grabs her wrist forcefully and pulls her to him. She tries to free from his grasp, but his hands are around her so tightly it hurts.
"Damn you Kathryn!" He yells. "Whenever I come to you, you always push me away! You know what? I don't think I'm going to let that happen again!"
He lets go of her wrist and rams her into the bulkhead. Before she has time to think, his lips are upon hers. He presses down on them so strongly she begins to see stars under her shut eyelids. She tries once more to push him off, but his body pins her to the bulkhead. His tongue demands entrance and she parts her lips for him willfully. She knows she doesn't have the strength to defy him, and gives up trying.
His tongue skillfully tastes every inch of her mouth, followed by his teeth which bite her lower lip. She tastes the metallic flavor of blood from the cut he's made. His arousal pulses strong against her groin, and she moans instinctively into his mouth. He sucks at her upper lip before leaving. They're both panting heavily, craving air.
Chakotay quickly tears her jacket and turtleneck off her and tosses the damaged garments onto the floor. She's only left with her white Starfleet-issue cotton bra. His mouth finds the place where her neck connects to her shoulders, and he bites down hard. Kathryn screams in pain and pleasure, grabbing his back. He removes her hands from him and secures them over her head by holding her wrists together. He whispers vulgar things into her ear, some of which she's never even heard of. Then he unclamps her bra and throws it with the rest of her garments.
Her knees go week as he makes contact with her left breast, sucking until her dark nipple rises to a peak. Her hands long to touch him, but he won't let her free. He does the same to her other breast while pinching at her left nipple with his free hand. When he's done, he releases her hands and carries her to her bedroom area.
Chakotay sets her down over the sheets and undresses quickly. He's on her faster than she can comprehend, and swiftly removes her pants and underwear before pushing into her with great force. She yelps in pain as her flesh tears, trying to accommodate for his size.
It's been so long since Kathryn has been in bed with a man. Although it hurts, the feeling is incredible. She can't deny that even though she knows she shouldn't be doing this. His fingers clamp around her hips tightly as he pumps into her, hard and fast.
Her eyes seem to roll into the back of her head as she orgasms. The sharp nails on her fingers dig into his bronzed shoulders, and she shouts his name.
After a moment his movements become erratic, and he spouts out something in his native language before his release. She moans as another orgasm washes over her. No longer able to hold himself up, he collapses on top of her.
What seems like minutes go by until she can hear him crying into her shoulder. She cups his head with her hands and looks into his eyes, but he won't look back.
"What's wrong, Chakotay?"
He shakes her off and turns to sit at the edge of the bed. Tears roll down his cheeks and his eyes no longer glow with lust and madness.
"Oh Kathryn... I've hurt you."
She looks at the hand-shaped bruises on her hips, and touches the bite mark on her shoulder. Finally, she feels the pain. It's not coming from one spot on her body, but radiates throughout. She never knew he could do such a thing to her. Kathryn knows she won't be able to walk for a few days.
Rising slowly to her knees, she crawls over to him and places her hands lightly on his shoulders. The red crescent-shaped marks on his back tell her that she's hurt him too.
"It's nothing The Doctor can't fix." Kathryn says lightly. He doesn't try to push her away, but his back remains turned. Chakotay covers his face with his hands.
"I took you in your own quarters and raped you! Like a fucking barbarian!"
"I quite enjoyed it, actually."
"I..." He shakes his head. "Spirits, I'm such a bastard. I'm so sorry Kathryn."
She kisses the back of his neck lightly. "Don't be sorry."
"'Don't be sorry'?" He growls. His voice rises higher, into a shout. "I should be! It's all my fault that your left in this state!"
She sighs deeply, swings her legs over the side of the bed, and turns his body towards her. She thinks she understands now.
"I'm the one who should be sorry, Chakotay. I kept you away from me even though I knew how much you cared. And I'm a damned fool for not allowing this to happen sooner."
He looks at her with deep, brown eyes. A smile forms on his lips and he places a hand on her cheek. She turns and kisses his palm. As Chakotay's hand falls, she captures it in hers.
"Spirits, how I've loved you."
"Oh Chakotay..."
They kiss again. He makes a great effort to do it lightly, mindful of her tender lips. She pulls back the covers and he holds her as they drift off to sleep.