Okay, this will appear a bit strange. Just read and see what you think. I think I need coffee ...
Also, if you don't know who David Boreanaz or Emily Deschanel or Hart Hanson are then you will have NO IDEA what I'm talking about. Cheers
"But, Bones, it's just a gut feeling," Booth did a tiny hop-skip as he turned to the side to face his partner, as they walked down a hall in the Jeffersonian.
"You know I don't believe in gut feelings, Booth," she barely looked at him. "It's empirical evidence or nothing."
"Then where does your "empirical evidence" point?" His voice became sarcastic was he spoke the words. "We can go visit your suspect, if you want."
"My suspect? I don't have a suspect," Brennan stopped and turned to face him.
"Exactly," he threw up his hands. She rolled her eyes and continued down the hall. "Bones, wait ..."
His voice drifted off. She turned to look at him expectantly.
"I said, 'Bones, wait ..'." he repeated, in a louder voice. Turning, they both looked around the corner.
"Are you sure this is the right part?" asked Brennan.
"I could've sworn it was now," he glanced to someone off screen as he reached behind and pulled a concealed script out the back of his pants. Brennan, or Emily Deschanel, as she was known on set, pulled the same script out of her left boot. They both flipped a couple pages and read for a moment.
"Yeah," said Emily, "It says T.J should be coming on now."
"Anyone seen T.J?" David Boreanaz's voice rose as he called to the people off set. There was a moment while everyone's head turned to look.
"He's been abducted," said Emily, with mock horror as she grabbed her "partner's" arm.
"We must look for clues," said David. Immediately, both of them glanced at the floor and started to sneak. Then, backs against the wall, they peered around the corner.
"What are you two doing?" came Michaela Conlin's voice. "This isn't part of the scene, is it?" she flipped up a couple pages on her clipboard and started to read from her script. "No, it's not. So, I repeat. What are you doing?"
"This is us, looking for a clue to the disappearance of Mr T.J Thyne," David said, looking as serious as possible.
"You'd think that, after two years of acting in a procedural crime series, you'd be better at it," replied Michaela, rolling her eyes. "It's all in the bones," she tapped the side of her nose. They all began to laugh. "So where is T.J?"
"Didn't you listen to my little 'clue to the disappearance of' speech?"
"Oh. I figured that was a joke," she replied.
"He ran off to the loo," piped a young PA, with an Australian accent. "I think. Or maybe he's gettin' himself a coffee."
"Loo? That's like the bathroom?" whispered Emily, to her co-actor and on-screen partner, who nodded back.
"Thanks, Chloe," David flashed the female PA a smile, who immediately felt her knees go weak.
Emily turned to the camera, which was still running. "This is David Boreanaz. He finds great pleasure in making the female cast and crew flustered with his unbearable good looks and charm." she gestured to her male companion and smiled like a reporter on a children's television show.
"Thank you, Emily, for that warm welcome," they started to laugh again. "Viewers, this is Emily Deschanel, my beautiful, funny, smart co-star..."
"Still rolling," said a voice. This episodes director snapped to life. He'd been enjoying the little show his cast had been putting on.
"Okay, that's a cut," he yelled. "Emily, David, chill for five, then I want exactly the same next time we shoot that scene."
"Exactly what we did just then?"
"Yes, exactly. It was perfect."
"With the little CSI rip-off and ego-boosting character profiles at the end?"
"No, just the first bit," the director knew the star actress and actor were mocking him. "We're re-shooting when I find our wayward actor."
At that precise moment T.J Thyne poked his head out from behind the set, coffee and chocolate cookie in hand. "Someone called?"
"Where were you, man?" asked David. "We needed you here."
"Quietly rebelling," he replied.
"Rebelling? Rebelling from what?" Emily asked.
"Him," the actor/on-screen entomologist pointed at Hart Hanson. "You need to stop portraying me as the 'bug and dirt guy.' I want a more substantial part."
"Substantial?" Hart looked confused.
"Yes, I want to make more character less geeky and more ..."
"Cool?" Eric Millegan's voice came from offset. "Yeah, me too."
"Guys, guys, jeez," David said, "Relax. Your characters are cool ... in their own dorky ways..."
"Says the guy with the badge and the gun and the nice abs," muttered Eric. David grinned slightly then blushed when he remembered Eric's 'sexual orientation.'
"Okay, okay, I'll see what I can do," said Hart.
"Brennan! Booth! You guys okay?" Hodgins and Zach barreled through the door, wielding guns and wearing bullet-proof vests.
"We're fine," Booth replied, helping Brennan to her feet. "What are you wearing?"
"A bullet-proof vest," replied Zach, his chest puffing up proudly.
"Why?"
"Well ... we're saving you...aren't we?" Zach and Hodgins exchanged looks then started to appear crestfallen.
"Yes, you are, Zach, and doing a fabulous job," Brennan smiled brightly and shot a look at her partner. He caught along and smiled wanly.
"Wonderful job, conspiracy guy. We have real F.B.I material in you, Zach," he said, much to the pain of his ego.
"Thank you, Booth," they started to leave the room, the two scientists babbling about how they "rescued" the partners.
"Wait! I forgot something," Booth said. Off-screen, Hart looked worried. Then he laughed as David pulled Emily into a kiss. "Never mind. I remembered it." the actor finished, smiling.
"What was that, David?" asked the producer.
"Well..." he pulled out his script. "It says here..."
Emily tore the paper from his hands. It says KISS EMILY!! With an arrow to this scene. In your handwriting!!
"What?" David looked like a big kid. "Do I really need an excuse to kiss my favorite co-star?"
"Still rolling ..." said that same voice off-screen.
Teh hee ... if you don't understand: this is on-set while filming Bones. I believe the actors would be quite the goofballs :).