A DOOM Christmas
On Christmas eve, there was a wild, psycho pair,
But Rafael just smiled on, blithely unaware
Like sinister bees buzzing around a hive
Amelda and Varon shouted "We'll catch Santa alive!"
"We'll take our revenge… (and all he's got)
Then boil up Santa in this here pot!"
Because every year their Christmas sucked…
Let's face it, the DOOM guys didn't have the best of luck
Amidst various broken pogo sticks and coal
They decided to force Santa to come up with gold
They'd had fake relations with doting grins
Singing carols so awful it must be a sin
Like rusted nails beginning to corrode
Listening made their heads explode
They never knew where these 'relations' came from
They showed up for Christmas and after they were gone…
But it was the food that took the proverbial cake
The worst looking and tasting food it were possible to make
There were garden fresh veggies from the nuclear dump
And a…suspicious… looking substance that was one big lump
There was some sort of pâté, made of liver from goose
And horrific, nasty children Satan somehow let loose
Rafael sighed and wished it was the end
And decided Varon and Amelda had gone 'round the bend'
Amelda liked to burn things, and Santa was next in line
Varon got the baseball bat, intentions purely malign
They plotted eagerly, and scarily quite vicious
Tempted only by their plans which really were malicious
They hadn't broken anything yet, for which Rafael was relieved
Then it hit him, no one had told them, Santa is just make-believe.
End
Author's Note:
I know its not exactly perfect (got bored last night and wrote it, has interesting parallels to my own christmas eve (specially the food and the kids!) and the rhymes areas dodgy as the different amound of words.Its not supposed to be serious, just amusing. Merry Christmas everyone :)
xoxo Lady Occult