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It was hellish. Out in the killing fields, it was a nightmarish orgy of chaos, death, and destruction. The prophecy was being fulfilled.

"Hey guys," Harry said aloud to his three friends as he watched the war of worlds below. "My fortune cookie was right."

Blade muttered something to himself as he took one last drag from his cigarette and tossed it over the cliff and down into the abyss of writhing bodies, all bumping and grinding to the screams of dying soldiers in an erotic dance called 'Death'. It was forbidden in most Middle Schools.

Yugi took one last look at the card his grandfather was stuck in.

"Grandpa, I hope you can hear me." Tears welled in the boy's eyes as he struggled to continue. "I just wanted you to know that as soon as we save Chuck Norris from Shao Khan, and after I go back home, and I after I play a few children's card games, and after I get TiVo, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you out of this crappy, Japanese playing card…" Yugi's face went red and he wept for what must have been ages. The sounds of the battle below him seemed miles away, as did the sound of his Grandpa calling him a dick.

Kung Lao gently placed his hand on Yugi's shoulder. He, too, knew how it felt to lose someone, ever since Kaiba killed his half-brother Liu Kang with a Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon that was summoned from the Shadow Realm by Shao Khan using the evil energies harnessed by Hitler's Brain. In a strange way, he was closer to this frail man-boy then he ever was to Liu Kang, which really makes you question why Kung Lao was willing to lay his ass on the line for him. I mean, Liu Kang was dead as dog shit. Getting ripped to pieces by the warring forces of fantasy fan fiction below wouldn't bring him back. Thankfully, no one told him that, so the story went on like so.

"I think it's time we went down and said Hello," Blade cleared his throat as he spoke, placing one hand on the butt of his .44 Magnum and the other on the hilt of his katana. "Don't want the party to get too out of control."

"Should we try to save our friends?" Kung Lao asked, just as Ron Weasley's burning corpse was thrown onto the cliff beside him.

"Why bother?" Harry responded, stepping to the edge. Yugi stood up, wiping away the tears, and joined him. Blade stepped beside the boy, and Kung Lao stood on the opposite end, beside Harry. For the first time, they all looked down at once and absorbed the lunacy and disorder like sponges that could absorb pronouns.

The killing fields were a rolling sea of life and death, intertwined like two young lovers who just picked up The Kama Sutra at Borders. To one side, they saw an enormous dragon bestrode by some douchebag dressed like a pirate or something. The dragon swept down and blasted at a group of emo vampires with it's napalm-like fiery breath, incinerating them nicely. Over on the other side of the field, Voltron and Optimus Prime were either killing each other or fucking. It was hard to tell. Meanwhile, in the center of the battle, an AT-ST had been capsized by The X-Men, with Wolverine leading the charge into the overturned metal behemoth's belly, slashing at it's super special space walls, made out of space metal. It was amazing to think that a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, people could invent walking killer robots and spaceships and such, but they never bothered to come to Earth.

"Are we ready, men?" Yugi shouted, his balls dropping three inches as the Spirit of The Millenium Puzzle overtook him.

"Let's save Chuck Norris…" Blade slowly unsheathed the katana, letting it's slim blade catch the moonlight as he prepared to jump from the cliff.

"And return Hitler's Brain to the Hall of Jewish Freemasons!" Kung Lao added, adjusting the brim of his razor-tipped hat.

"Super Human Interdimensional Team… Assemble!!" And with those loud words from Harry, the S.H.I.T.'s jumped off of the cliff of Mount Doom and down into the blood streaked battlefield below, where the fan fiction battle to end all fan fiction battles would take place…