Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise, Bandai and whoever else - but certainly not me. :p
It had been two years.
I leaned my head against the wall as I stared out through the portal. The sun was slowly disappearing behind the red planet below as we circled high in orbit around it. The view was one that I had enjoyed from the first moment we had arrived here at Mars as part of the terraforming crew, two years ago.
Two years ago.
It had been rather hectic at first, setting up the temporary stations that would be our homes for the next ten years, and starting the careful blasting that would steer the planet into an orbit in which it could more readily support life. To support life - those were the words that had first caught my attention when the draft of the Mars Terraforming Project had crossed my desk. They were words that touched my heart, making me feel as though here at last was a cause truly worth the fight - and this fight, unlike so many others I have fought, was one with nature rather than with other men. This fight would not result in such a needless waste of life; on the contrary, it would nurture it, coaxing it to be in places where it could not exist before.
This was something I could truly believe in.
The others must have felt similarly, for they were just as eager as I to take the shuttle bound for this beautiful but barren red planet. We would help cure its barrenness, we would create life rather than take it away. It would be a new beginning for us all. Only it wasn't. Not for me, anyway - not quite.
It wasn't until those first few months had passed that any of us found time to really think about our situations. Duo barely had any time at all before Hilde turned up and proceeded to take over his life. Not that he was at all unhappy about it. She gave him a focus in life, one not lost to violence, one that would not be lost - much like Relena was for Heero, for us all.
Heero never speaks of her, but I've caught him staring through Duo and Hilde when they are together, with what for him would be an open smile. I treasure that smile for the hope it gives me: if even Heero, harshly carved to fit the mold of a soldier, if even he can be redeemed to the ways of peace by love, then surely -
"Quatre?"
I blinked, startled to find myself staring at the darkened surface of Mars. Cold, bleak and lifeless - for the moment. Warm hands settled lightly on my shoulders.
"So dark - and yet there is such potential," a familiar voice murmured softly. I focused on the pale reflection before us and smiled up at Sally, who was gazing out over my shoulder.
"Indeed," I replied. "But not all potentials are realized."
She laughed. "Some just need a little more work than others."
I turned my head to glance up at her curiously. She smiled kindly, then sat down beside me.
"You are very patient, Quatre – yet there are some things that no amount of waiting will bring you. I'm speaking from personal experience here." She quirked her lips at this, and I had to smile even as I rested my cheek against the cool metal wall once more, hoping for it to draw the mild heat from my flushed face.
Sally had followed Wufei here a few months before, much as Hilde had followed Duo, only no-one had realized it at the time; not until Wufei had changed practically overnight from an uncertain boy searching for a purpose in life to a self-confidant young man.
Wufei had changed – had been changed – and for the better. Duo had learned to love and be loved. Heero was learning to smile. What had I learned?
I sighed as I looked away from Sally's piercing eyes. I had learned that Trowa would never make the first move. Idiot, I thought, not knowing whether I meant Trowa or myself.
"You sound almost like Iria," I half-smiled. It was all I needed right now – more sisterly advice. The Manganacs were almost as bad. At least I had convinced them not to call more than four times a week, although that feat had taken over a year to accomplish.
"Except she would not be so direct, hmmm?" I raised my eyebrow at the twinkle in her eye. "She asked me to have a word with you," she informed me, and laughed as I groaned.
"I know what I'm doing," I muttered.
"And what is that?" she asked.
I sighed ruefully. "Absolutely nothing," I admitted. She shook her head.
"You need to do something, Quatre, because – "
"I know, I know: he won't."
"Is that what's bothering you? Having to be the leader once again?"
I looked up sharply at that. "No – yes – I don't –"
She didn't speak, simply gazed at me calmly. I could see how Wufei had altered so suddenly, beneath those unyielding eyes. I admired Sally very much, we all did; although only a few years older than us she had not faltered in her beliefs throughout the war. Nor had they altered now.
"I'll talk to him," I sighed, nodding my acquiescence. "Or something."
"'Or something' sounds about right," she laughed impishly as she stood, and walked off leaving me blushing as red as the planet below.
I waited only long enough for my cheeks to stop burning before I left the corner of the common room, knowing that if I didn't move now I never would. I pondered Sally's question as I headed down the corridor. Was I truly afraid of taking the lead in my (currently non-existent) relationship with Trowa? Was that why I had waited so long, so uselessly?
Idiot! I thought again, this time knowing it was me who had been foolish. We weren't children any more, not even children forced to act like adults. We were adults, or close to it; and yet I had been better at making decisions in those days gone by. How ridiculous!
Ridiculous. I came to a dead stop just a few steps from the door to his room. I had had mixed feelings about our room placements, which were practically on opposite sides of the station. On the one hand, I didn't have to put up with the torture of seeing Trowa everyday without having a single word to say to him. On the other hand, I didn't get to see Trowa everyday without having to say a word. We saw each other frequently, but not too frequently. I suppose it was an almost ideal situation for a romantic suffering from unrequited love; but I was fairly sure he returned at least some of my feelings for him. So why didn't he act?!
Idiot! I accused myself for the third time in the space of an hour, and marched up to his door. It was unlocked, so I let myself in. Then I locked it from the other side.
Trowa was sitting at his desk, going through some files for the Project on his computer. I crossed the room to stand at his side, calling his name to let him know I was there. He didn't even look up.
"Yes, Quatre?" His voice was even as always, showing no emotion besides a distracted kind of flat curiosity. I knew better than to believe his tone of voice, but it set my heart racing so that I was unsure if I could manage to speak without stuttering.
"I came here to tell you something," I told him, immensely relieved that my voice at least did not tremble. My hands were another story.
He swirled his chair around to face me, tilting his head up to look me in the eye, raising one eyebrow in an unspoken question.
"I love you," I informed him, then took full advantage of his upturned
face and kissed him thoroughly.
January '99
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