Privacy

A/N: I found it terribly hilarious (and terribly Watanuki) that in vol 8, when Doumeki tells Watanuki about being able to see through the shared eye, Watanuki's instant reaction is 'NOOOO! My privacyyyy!' – and this was the result. Because I believe that Doumeki is a closet perv. And because writing four 'holic fics with no humour in them is a slur upon the series, and I just had to.

Watanuki shoved a piece of paper at Doumeki. 'You. Take this.' And he stalked on ahead, providing Doumeki with an excellent view of his backsi-er, back, which was not the intent but which suited Doumeki just fine.

Somewhat perplexed, he turned the much-folded sheet over in his hands.

'Well?' Watanuki snapped irascibly. 'Read it.'

Oh. Okay.

Doumeki unfolded the paper and scanned its contents. It appeared to be a fairly detailed list of times. 'What is this?'

'My daily schedule,' Watanuki said, still sounding pissed. 'All the times I'm likely to be in the shower or engaged in things I don't want you to know about.'

'Shower?' Now there was a good image, Doumeki decided; Watanuki wet, the glasses resting on a low shelf as his mismatched eyes slid briefly over the mirror, looking at himse–

'What are you looking like that for?' Watanuki inquired suspiciously over his shoulder, alerted by Doumeki's slowing footsteps.

'Hm?'

'Oh, forget it, you brain-dead cretin. Just…turn off the eye thing at those times, all right?'

'I don't know how,' Doumeki objected truthfully, and rather reasonably, he thought.

He ignored, for purposes of survival, the little niggly voice in his head (which had grown steadily louder through his teenage years, and far, far, far more graphic after he had met Watanuki) which remarked thoughtfully that maybe it was a good idea if he didn't try very hard to learn how, either…

Watanuki stopped dead and nearly collided with another student because of the speed with which he turned. 'You…what?'

Doumeki repeated himself.

So did Watanuki, only much louder. 'But…but…you have to turn it off! I can't have you looking at me when I'm…' a tide of red spread slowly over Watanuki's face and down his neck, and Doumeki idly wondered just how far down it went. 'Er. Gah. Um.'

There was a deathly sort of silence while Watanuki attempted to wrap his mind around what had just happened and Doumeki wondered how painfully he would die if he gave in and laughed.

'My privacy,' Watanuki almost whimpered. Then he drew himself up again, the righteous indignation that fuelled him better than food returning. 'You better not look anyway!'

Doumeki nodded, because that seemed to be the thing to do at the moment.

'Because if you do, I'll…' and Doumeki tuned him out with practiced ease, his finger rising to block his ears. For more reasons than one – in addition to being earsplittingly loud, Watanuki could be surprisingly graphic (and creative) in his threats once he really got going.

And if he knew what was going on in Doumeki's head some – okay, most – of the time, he would likely exert himself to carrying some of them out.

In retrospect, it was probably better that Watanuki was sharing his eye instead of the other way around – after all, Doumeki did like his privacy.