My LotR Parody
Disclaimer: I own no one, and flames will be used to keep warm. ^.^
AN: Don't kill me!!! I wrote this for my friends and based the characters on them, and if the characters are extremely weird, I will explain it somewhat here. Frodo is based on my friend who is always reading and uses her books as a weapon, Gandalf is based on a pot-head kid, if that helps some, and Bilbo is based on my Geo. Teacher, Mr. Schneider, who we all call a nazi… Tolkein will be rolling in his grave… Oh! And excuse my spelling… and if you have a problem it it, I don't give a shit… Sorry, momentary rant… ^.^ And this story is based on the movie, but if some of the lines are wrong (the few that are real lines, lol) it is because they weren't that important in my mind… which means, if you haven't figured it out, I am doing this by memory… after seeing it 9 times (10 soon I hope! ^.~) it's quite easy to remember the lines I like… I recite the mirror scene from memory when I really wanna piss off my non-ringer friends. (yes im obsessed, tell me something new? lol) newayz… on with the story!
1 Ch. 1 One day in the Shire…
Frodo sat reading a book when an out of tune, off key, and all around bad voice reached his ears. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, turtles in a half-shell, turtle power!" it sang.
"Oh no, not Gandalf again," Frodo thought, "I might as well see him, if only to spare the rest of the Shire his horrid singing!"
He jogged over to the road, put on a false smile and cried, "Gandalf!"
"Frodo, my lad!" Gandalf said, wobbling a little in the seat of his cart, "Come sit with me!"
"Great, he's stoned…. again… why, oh why did Bilbo have to show him pipeweed???" Frodo muttered as he jumped into the cart.
Gandalf continued to sing for a few moments longer, than Frodo smacked him in the back of the head with his book and told him to shut up. Gandalf whimpered, rubbed his head, and they rode on to Bag End. On the way, Gandalf lit up his pipe and immediately hyped up. To Frodo's joy, he only hummed. Frodo then jumped off the cart (for he was afraid of Bilbo) and left.
Gandalf merely shrugged and went up to the door of Bad End. He knocked on the door, giggled, and knocked again.
"Nein! Go away! I want no well-wishers!" came a voice in reply to the consistent knocking.
"Hehehe, what about high, I mean, old friends?" Gandalf said.
"Gandalf? Oh, Gandalf!" Bilbo replied, flinging open the door and hugging him.
Bilbo was dressed in what looked like a brown army uniform… except for the large swastikas on the chest and hat.
"It's been a long time," Gandalf said, "and you haven't aged a day! When did you grow that little mustache?"
"Oh! Just after I met some new friends… but that does not matter. Come in, come in! I will get you some tea." Bilbo replied.
"Thank you! Just add a touch of brandy for, ah… sweetening!"
"Ok, whatever you want, my friend."
They went inside and Bilbo served Gandalf his tea and brandy, all the while Gandalf sat smoking his pipe. They sat in silence for a while, then Gandalf asked, "So, do you still plan to leave after your party?"
"Yes, I do. I want to se nazi… I mean, mountains again, mountains Gandalf! I want to take a holiday, a long holiday, and I don't plan to return."
"Very well, hehehe, just leave Frodo everything and you can go wherever you want!"
"Great! I will go right after my party."
"Alright then. Let's go get high!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*
Well, What do you think? I will type in the other chapter and post it if I get…. 5 reviews, positive ones, lol.
Disclaimer: I own no one, and flames will be used to keep warm. ^.^
AN: Don't kill me!!! I wrote this for my friends and based the characters on them, and if the characters are extremely weird, I will explain it somewhat here. Frodo is based on my friend who is always reading and uses her books as a weapon, Gandalf is based on a pot-head kid, if that helps some, and Bilbo is based on my Geo. Teacher, Mr. Schneider, who we all call a nazi… Tolkein will be rolling in his grave… Oh! And excuse my spelling… and if you have a problem it it, I don't give a shit… Sorry, momentary rant… ^.^ And this story is based on the movie, but if some of the lines are wrong (the few that are real lines, lol) it is because they weren't that important in my mind… which means, if you haven't figured it out, I am doing this by memory… after seeing it 9 times (10 soon I hope! ^.~) it's quite easy to remember the lines I like… I recite the mirror scene from memory when I really wanna piss off my non-ringer friends. (yes im obsessed, tell me something new? lol) newayz… on with the story!
1 Ch. 1 One day in the Shire…
Frodo sat reading a book when an out of tune, off key, and all around bad voice reached his ears. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, turtles in a half-shell, turtle power!" it sang.
"Oh no, not Gandalf again," Frodo thought, "I might as well see him, if only to spare the rest of the Shire his horrid singing!"
He jogged over to the road, put on a false smile and cried, "Gandalf!"
"Frodo, my lad!" Gandalf said, wobbling a little in the seat of his cart, "Come sit with me!"
"Great, he's stoned…. again… why, oh why did Bilbo have to show him pipeweed???" Frodo muttered as he jumped into the cart.
Gandalf continued to sing for a few moments longer, than Frodo smacked him in the back of the head with his book and told him to shut up. Gandalf whimpered, rubbed his head, and they rode on to Bag End. On the way, Gandalf lit up his pipe and immediately hyped up. To Frodo's joy, he only hummed. Frodo then jumped off the cart (for he was afraid of Bilbo) and left.
Gandalf merely shrugged and went up to the door of Bad End. He knocked on the door, giggled, and knocked again.
"Nein! Go away! I want no well-wishers!" came a voice in reply to the consistent knocking.
"Hehehe, what about high, I mean, old friends?" Gandalf said.
"Gandalf? Oh, Gandalf!" Bilbo replied, flinging open the door and hugging him.
Bilbo was dressed in what looked like a brown army uniform… except for the large swastikas on the chest and hat.
"It's been a long time," Gandalf said, "and you haven't aged a day! When did you grow that little mustache?"
"Oh! Just after I met some new friends… but that does not matter. Come in, come in! I will get you some tea." Bilbo replied.
"Thank you! Just add a touch of brandy for, ah… sweetening!"
"Ok, whatever you want, my friend."
They went inside and Bilbo served Gandalf his tea and brandy, all the while Gandalf sat smoking his pipe. They sat in silence for a while, then Gandalf asked, "So, do you still plan to leave after your party?"
"Yes, I do. I want to se nazi… I mean, mountains again, mountains Gandalf! I want to take a holiday, a long holiday, and I don't plan to return."
"Very well, hehehe, just leave Frodo everything and you can go wherever you want!"
"Great! I will go right after my party."
"Alright then. Let's go get high!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*
Well, What do you think? I will type in the other chapter and post it if I get…. 5 reviews, positive ones, lol.