Hallo, Inkhearties! Here is a long shot I worked on in my stay in Italy. Out of all the wacky tales I have weaved, here's one of the craziest. I hope that the detail is rich enough to keep you wanting to read on. Now I shall say again: REVIEWS ARE LOVED AND ACCEPTED but flames are frowned upon. Thanks guys! So a little bit about the story before we begin: I wanted to see all the other characters together at a BBQ. So how will a seemingly innocent party turn when the black jackets come to crash the party and kittens fall from the sky? Enjoy! :D
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Asked Mo, buttering a piece of toast.
"Of course! I think it's a crucial step in helping me let go of the events that took place. It's time for peace, Mortimer." Elinor was busy writing invitations on slips of pale, pastel paper. She was handing them to a line of fairies who flew off when given a slip.
"Alright, Elinor, whatever you say." Mo shook his head, spreading jam on the bread. "So who are you inviting?"
"Everyone! Dustfinger, Farid, the medieval bitch, the black Prince… all of them!"
"Basta?"
"Mortimer! Are you stupid? Why would I invite him?"
"Because you said everybody." Mo rolled his eyes as he added a slice of cheese to his toast.
"Everyone who doesn't put our lives in danger."
"Who knows, Elinor? Maybe all Basta needs is an invitation to a party."
"Then he can go to one of those shakers that the teens in the city throw… he'd fit in well there…. Drugs, booze… not my BBQ!"
"Alright, alright, just relax." Mo, who found the entire idea completely ridiculous, kept quiet as Elinor handed the fairies the last of the invitations.
"Hey, Mo! Whazzup?" Meggie bounded into the kitchen, iPod in hand.
"Good morning, Meggie." Mo looked scornfully at the little pink device his daughter held. "Still listening to that, er, hip-hop?"
"Cheah!" Meggie busted a move before sitting down beside her father.
"Please, Meggie, NOT at the table!" Elinor seemed to disapprove of Meggie's music as much as Mo did, if not more.
"But Elinor-"
"Mind your aunt, Meggie." Mo shook his finger at Meggie, who pouted as she took the buds out of her ears.
"Fine," she mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. She was wearing a long white skirt. It was lacy at the bottom and according to Meggie, was in style. Her pink tee shirt was frilly as well, and conservative, which Mo liked. "So uh, what's skain' bacon?" She smiled and played with her long, blond braids.
"We're having a party this afternoon!" Said Elinor, her cheeks pink with excitement.
"REALLY!? OH COOL! Who's invited?"
"All the good characters from Inkheart."
"Farid?" Meggie was ecstatic.
"Yes." Mo was unhappy with Meggie's reaction. He didn't approve of the boy.
"Omigod! When does the party start?" Meggie fanned herself.
"One-ish" said Elinor crisply. Meggie squealed and sat up with a start. The glasses and utensils on the table shook and clattered. She darted upstairs without another word.
"What's happened to my little girl?" Asked Mo, putting his head in his hands. He was suddenly so filled with despair and sadness that he forgot about his favorite breakfast food.
"I have the perfect book for this!" Cried Elinor, shuffling off to her library. She was back in a few minutes, a fuchsia book in her hands.
"Elinor, what is that?"
"It's the father's guide to growing up girls." She put the copy under Mo's nose.
"Alrighty, then." Mo raised an eyebrow.
"Read it Mortimer… it will help." She nodded solemnly before exiting the kitchen, her slippers scratching across the tiles. Mo groaned and pushed the book away from him, but he couldn't help but wonder what words were writing inside…
OoXoOxOoXoO
Meggie bathed herself thoroughly. She spritzed on watermelon body mist and curled her hair. She changed into a pale pink and white diagonal striped baby doll dress. She slipped into cream colored flats with little bows on the front, and grinned at her appearance. Her next thrill was makeup. She cozied up in front of her mirror and skimmed her hand over the smart little cases of blush, eye shadow and lip gloss, all in beautiful pink tones. She did her fingernails French manicure style. Despite the jitters in her stomach, Meggie felt prepared and excited for Farid's visit.
OoXoOxOoXoO
Mo sat under the shade of an olive tree, the fuchsia book on his lap. He watched Elinor and Resa busily setting table cloths on the picnic tables. Mo shook his head and looked down at the glittering book. With a sigh he opened it and skipped the intro to chapter one.
Chapter one, Changes
You may notice that in this stage of your daughter's life, several changes are occurring. She may be pulling away from you, or sucking up to you tremendously. When you daughter pulls away, do not fret. She still loves you; she is just exploring the world and finding out that you do not know everything. When your daughter suddenly sucks up and retaliates from the world, welcome her back with open arms. After all, you're her best friend.
Along with the mental changes your daughter is experiencing, you may notice that she is also changing physically. She is swapping her little girl body with that of a woman. She will most likely feel awkward during the stage and she may become very self conscious. It is your job as a father to remind her that she is beautiful and to believe in herself. At this stage in your daughter's life she may need to wear a bra. Do not tease her about this. It is a touchy subject with most girls, and you do not want to embarrass her. As a father this may seem difficult, but remember that it has to happen sooner or later.
Now, the biggest step your daughter is going to take into womanhood is her period. When a girl first starts her cycle, she is capable of having children-"
Whoa. Mo slammed the book shut, and found himself sweating and staring ahead, mouth agape. The very thought of Meggie….
"Hi Mo!" She stood in front of him, smiling, decked out in pink, and smelling like a watermelon.
"Uhh h-hi, Meggie." Mo couldn't help but wonder what was going on with his daughter. Has she started her "mhmhm"?
"What's wrong Mo?"
"N-n-nothing. Uh, what's er, down? I mean UP? What's up Meggie? I mean, how are you? How are you feeling, in like, a mood way, well I guess in a normal day-to-day mood way…you know? Errr, what can I do for you?" Mo looked every which way for an escape.
"Uh, well, I was wondering what you were reading…"
"NOTHING! PHLASHMYHABAHA!" Mo cried out louder then he wanted to.
"Whoa… Ok…" Meggie backed away slowly. Mo nodded, then decided to preoccupy himself with the BBQ.
OoXoOxOoXoO
Resa set stacks of plastic ups on a spare table. Pitchers of lemonade and pop bottles were set up all around the space. The woman was slightly nervous about seeing Dustfinger again. Mo knew that they had slept together and it would be extremely awkward to be with them both, even after Mo forgave her (bless his heart).
"Resa, dear, what's wrong?" Resa shook her head when she realized she was making a tower of cups higher then it was supposed to be.
"Oh, nothing Elinor, just thinking."
"You looked a million miles away, dear."
"Oh, guess I was." She smiled, then retired from her elaborate cup tower. A bunch of fairies fluttered in front of her. "Oh, hello," she said to the glittering little critters. "Will the guests be arriving?" The green fairy at the front of the bunch nodded. "Thank you" Resa smiled. She walked into the house, getting changed and looking nice were her first intentions.
OoXoOxOoXoO
Dustfinger and Farid were the first guests to arrive. Dustfinger had his red hair cut short, and resembled the actor Paul Bettany to a freaky tee. Farid was cleaned up nice, his wearing Khaki shorts and a baby blue polo shirt. Meggie greeted Farid with a nervous hug.
"How are you guys?" She asked, smiling tightly as Resa kissed Dustfinger's cheek.
"Good, good, can't complain." Dustfinger's Scottish accent made Meggie grin. He was very handsome.
"How have you been, Meggie?" Farid walked alongside her towards the table with the cup castle.
"I've been good." Meggie felt nervous, and making friendly conversation was nearly impossible. So they did was any other couple of awkward kids would do: walk in equal awkward silence. Little did she know, that just around the corner of the house, watching intently, was Mo.
Chapter two, attraction
You daughter may be overcome with a fresh interest for boys and sexual activities. It is crucial at this time to watch your daughter's boyfriends carefully and regulate how much sexual content she sees on TV. Your daughter's attraction to boys may be clearly visible through her actions. For instance, she may play with her hair and jewelry, dress up for the occasion in which boys are present, and smile and laugh constantly in the presence of a boy. Your first instinct as a father would be to chase this guy off, but do avoid so, you don't want to embarrass her-
"Screw that" growled Mo, closing the book. He'd been prowling around the house since Farid arrived, a pair of binoculars strapped around his neck. The fuchsia book never left his side. He peered through the lenses and sure enough, there was Meggie; playing with her curls. "NO!" Hissed Mo, a frown knitting on his forehead. He was about to consult his book for further information, but Elinor's voice roused him from his troublesome thoughts.
"Mortimer, what are you doing?"
"Ummm, bird watching?" Mo hid the book behind his back.
"Hum. Well, anyways, I just wanted you to know that everyone has arrived, we are Basta free and Resa wants you to start the BBQ."
"Uh, yeah, sure." Mo nodded and made his way to the BBQ. He noticed Roxanne and Dustfinger chatting away by the drinks table. Ha also saw the Black Prince speaking with Resa. She was laughing and holding a hand over her chest. He grumbled to himself before strapping an apron with kiss the cook written on the front to his body. He quickly slapped a chef's hat on his head and opened the propane valve. "Why isn't Darius cooking?" He mumbled to himself, not entirely sure what to do with the little BBQ. He heard a twig snap behind him, so he instantly wheeled around, knocking something over. "Crap" he said. He picked up the little bottle from off the cinders. Then he realized what it was. "FIRE IN THE HAUL!" He cried, running away from the BBQ. Every one looked in his direction, then the BBQ burst into flames.
"OMIGOD MORTIMER! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Elinor cried and watched in horror as her BBQ burnt. Every one stood in awe, mouths agape, then Dustfinger stepped forward. He picked a stick off the ground and silently stuck a marshmallow on the end. Everyone whispered amongst themselves as he put the marshmallow over the flames.
"S'more, anyone?" He asked, a snicker appearing on his face. After a while every one shrugged and joined Dusty at the burning BBQ, sticks and puffy white nuclear waste in hand.
OoXoOxOoXoO
Mean while, two men dressed in black jackets and pants crept into the yard. One of them had flaming red hair, the other had short and messy brown hair sculpted into quite the spiky disaster. Basta and Firefox looked at each other and snickered before continuing on towards the bonfire.
"So why are we here again?" Asked Firefox, a frown appearing on his freckled face.
"To crash a party, what else?" Basta made a face before brushing invisible dust off the leg of his black skinny jeans.
"But there are only two of us…" Firefox seemed bewildered, and he clutched a hand to his stomach. He'd been complaining about aches and pains all day, but Basta in his ignorance had ignored him.
"I told you already, Capricorn and the others will be showing up later, now COME ON!" Basta hissed in his muddled accent.
"Ok, ok… owww, Basta, my stomach is killing me… can we stop, please?"
"No! You're vomiting will blow our cover. Suck it up and come on." Basta shook his head and crept through the bushes, inching towards the mass of people but the fire. Firefox made plenty of noise behind him, though, and Basta was tempted multiple times to cow kick him in the face. He refrained, of course. Just then, a cry broke the droned murmur of talking.
"MY MARSHMALLOW IS ON FIRE!" It was a girl's voice, Meggie's voice.
"Stop waving your stick around, Meggie!" Cried another voice. But it was too late. A flaming black ball came flying through the sky, followed by a trail of smoke. Firefox didn't know what was happening until the mass of gooey, burn radioactive-ness landed in his hair.
"AAAUUUURRRRHHGGGG!!" The young man cried out and sprang up from the bushes, screaming and pointing at his head. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" He ran around in circles, hooting and screaming as his hair turned into an orange inferno. "AIIIIEEEEE!!" Basta's eyes widened as Firefox charged towards him. "GET IT OFF, BASTA!"
"GET AWAY FROM ME! I DON'T LIKE FIRE! WATCH IT! HEY!" Basta booked it towards the Flocharts and their guests, Firefox hot on his heels… literally. With a defiant leap, Basta hurdled the smoldering BBQ and crashed at Meggie's feet. He looked up in time to see Roxanne extinguish Firefox's head with a fire extinguisher.
"Well, shit." Said the red head.
OoXoOxOoXoO
Meggie and Farid walked away from the adults 20 minutes after the Basta and Firefox incident. Surprisingly enough, the men were allowed to stay for a couple beers, as long as they did the dishes.
"So, Meggie… how have you been?" Farid paused in the garden, and contemplated picking a sunflower for Meggie.
"I've been fine… I mean, I've missed you, a lot." Farid laughed, then regretted it.
"I've missed you too." He felt so extremely awkward… Meggie looked and smelt so lovely… he wanted to kiss her, but he didn't dare in case Silvertongue was watching… But then he felt something smooth and warm against his arm. It was Meggie's hand. He tentatively clutched it, and when he saw a smile peek on Meggie's face, he swung their arms, smiling when Meggie laughed. They strolled through the gardens, the setting sun casting golden rays across the estate. The shadows from the olive trees cast long and deep shadows over the lawn. The serenity of the scene plucked up Farid's courage. He held Meggie's hands and leaned in towards her. He was about to softly kiss her lips, but a loud whistling sounds broke the moment.
"What's that?" Cried Meggie, jerking herself out of Farid's grasp.
"An Airplane?" Farid squinted as he caught a glimpse of an airplane, making a nose dive for the estate.
OoXoOxOoXoO
(Mean while, in the airplane)
"We're going down! We need to drop the load!"
"But Captain! It's live cargo!"
"It's either them or us! Now drop them!" The co-pilot twisted his face in distress before pushing the big red button dropping their cargo.
OoXoOxOoXoO
Basta collapsed in a lawn chair, beer in hand. He tilted his head back and took in a sigh of relief. He wasn't in peace for long, though, because something warm and fuzzy hit him in the face. At first he thought it was Dustfinger's stupid Martin, but after wrenching it from his face, he realized it was… A KITTEN!
"AAAARRRRRRGGGGG!" Basta cried out just as the growing mew of a million free falling kittens filled the evening.
"IT'S RAINING KITTENS!" Screamed Meggie, running in towards Basta.
"I'm aware!" He squeaked, his eyeliner rimmed eyes widening in horror.
"We need to save them!" Said Resa, snatching the hissing animal from Basta.
"We do??" Basta yelled as another black kitten fell on his head.
"Quickly! Everybody, take off your shirts and make safety nets!" Cried Roxanne, shipping off her shawl. Every body stripped out of their sweaters and shirts without hesitation.
MEW! MEW! MEW! MEW! MEW!
The kittens pelted safely into the nets, much to every one's relief.
"Oh my lord it just rained kittens" Basta stood in the center of the yard, hundreds of shaky, fuzzy little meowing kittens crawling around his feet.
OoXoOxOoXoO
Every one sat in the lawn chairs surrounding the camp fire. The sun had long gone down and the flickering flames and twinkling stars were the only source of light. Basta, in his terrified state, rested on his back on the lawn, beer in hand, half drunk. Mo was under a tree, pouring over the book, flashlight clamped between his teeth. Resa and Dustfinger cuddled up on a blanket, Roxanne and the Black Prince chatting at the picnic table. Farid was, to Meggie's great disappointment, sound asleep.
"Hey Basta?"
"Hmm?" the twenty year old looked over at her.
"What are you drinking?"
"You won't like it, trust me kiddo."
"There's no soda left." She inched towards the man sprawled out on his back.
"Are you asking me for a sip of my drink?"
"Yes please" Basta grumbled under his breath and handed the drink to Meggie.
"Don't let Silvertongue see" he rolled his eyes as Meggie took a nervous sip of his drink.
"Thanks" she said after a hiccup.
"Yeah, yeah." He snatched the amber bottle back from him and drained it. "Damn it child you smell like… watermelon…" Meggie snickered.
OoXoOxOoXoO
Capricorn crept into the estate, some of his black clad followers close behind him.
"Is this the place, master?" Asked one.
"I'm pretty sure. Do you have the laptop?"
"Yes."
"And the speakers?"
"Check."
"Perfect…" Capricorn rubbed his hands together in a villainous sort of way. The men slinked into the yard, only to find the BBQ hosts and guest sound asleep on the cool grass. "Quick, find an outlet." Hissed Capricorn, searching the side of the house. A utility outlet near the garage became visible. "Plug it in, and fast… this has to be perfect." Capricorn snickered and watched as the speakers were plugged into the wall. After instillation was complete, he opened the laptop and opened his web browser. He typed in the URL to albino black sheep and typed in:
They're taking the hobbits to Isengard
He suppressed a cackle as the video loaded. Once it was ready, he pushed the speakers on full blast, and pressed play.
THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD! THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD! THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD! GARD! GARD! GARD! GARD! GARD!
Cheesy Lord of the Rings remix music filled the night and awoke the members of Elinor's BBQ. Every one stood up with a start, covering their ears and crying out in agony. Then something magically strange happened, Firefox got to his feet, and with a cry of sheer disturbance, beat Capricorn over the head with his lawn chair. The man fell to the ground in a heap.
"Dear LORD that was ANNOYING!" His eyes were wide. Every one was silent for quite some time, then Meggie plodded over towards the computer. She punched something into the search bar, and then music filled the night.
Caramelldansen, by Caramell made every one look around in a kind of horrified fascination. The upbeat and agitating-ly catchy beat made every one…dance…
What a wild ride.