The Road to El Dorado, Chel, and Tzekel-Kan belong to Dreamworks, and I'm in no way making money with this.
This is a little piece of crack that I wrote when I was very, very bored. I wasn't originally going to share it with anyone, but then I decided to do it just in case someone else likes this kind of thing, too.
BOOTY
Chel let out a sigh of relief as she threw herself behind a set of curtains that hung against the cool stone walls. She didn't dare to take a peek outside, but the lack of angry shouts and footsteps told her that nobody had seen her sneak into the temple.
The most dangerous part was still ahead, so she didn't let herself remain in one spot for too long. With silent steps and agility, she crept from her shadowed corner to behind a statue in search of something valuable. She knew she had to be quick, so she headed straight to the farthest end of the chamber. That had to be where the gold was.
The young woman was in no way worried about stealing from the house of the gods. They hadn't cared about her throughout her shitty life, so why would they suddenly remember her now when she was finally taking the matters into her own hands?
Ah! That's it! Chel's lips spread into a smile when she spotted a golden head that was mounted into the wall. It was exactly what she had been looking for. It was solid gold but very plain, so she'd probably meet no trouble when she went to trade it for cocoa beans in some other city. Chel reached out her hands and almost had her fingers wrapped around the gold when…
"Hey! Who are you?"
Chel's heart jumped to her throat as she whirled around at the angry shout, and it sank right at the bottom of her stomach when she saw the high priest Tzekel-Kan at the doorway.
No! Anyone but him, she thought desperately and glanced around to see if there was any way to flee before the priest got to her. Unfortunately, there was only one door in the temple, and Tzekel-Kan was currently blocking it. If the look on his face was any indication, he had no plans of letting her just leave and get away with it.
He marched over to her and caught a hold of her wrist, twisting it painfully and making Chel cringe.
"What do you think you're doing here?" Tzekel-Kan hissed.
Chel's usually active imagination was suddenly out of usable ideas. She couldn't tell the truth, and telling the obsessed fanatic that she wanted to volunteer for sacrifice was definitely out of the question. What other reason could she have to loiter around in the temple?
"I was just looking around, you know?" she said and unwrapped the priest's fingers from around her wrist with her free hand. She knew this was one guy she could never convince of her innocence no matter what explanation she threw at him, so the best she could do was to distract him long enough to be able to escape.
"What? How dare you step into the temple of gods? It's not for the common people!" Tzekel-Kan snapped. He looked outraged at that someone had the nerve to waltz into the sacred rooms without permission and feeling no shame or regret over it.
"Come on. You can make an exception for me, right?" Chel said and smiled in a way that had melted the hearts of many men in El Dorado. All she needed now was a sway of her hips like that and no man would be able to resist her. There, she thought happily when Tzekel-Kan's eyes moved downwards with the movement.
She decided that she had nothing to lose but everything to gain, so she quickly wrapped her left arm around the priest's shoulder and leaned in for a passionate kiss. With her leg, she knocked over the golden head, and it landed nicely into her eager right hand.
Wow, he's terrible. It's like he has never kissed a girl before, she noted when she pulled back. Tzekel-Kan didn't even know what to do with his hands, and his only response to Chel caressing his back was freezing like a hunted animal too afraid to move. Well, at least she now knew that priests didn't make good boyfriends.
The man let out a disgusted yelp and pushed her away, thankfully to the direction of the door. It looked like he had liked the kiss even less than she had, but he had no idea what to do about it. For a moment, Chel thought he might just stand there looking like an idiot for the rest of the day, but finally he turned his discomfort into a feeling he was more familiar with; anger. He advanced at her with a threatening frown on his face, and Chel felt a little disappointed. She could usually paralyze men for longer with her looks only, and she had kissed the priest. What was wrong with him?
Careful to hide the treasure behind her back, she started walking backwards to the door with an innocent smile plastered on her face. Tzekel-Kan was staring at her like she was the filthiest thing he had ever seen.
"Someone like you has no business in this temple!" he yelled, raising his hand like he was about to hit her. His eyes were almost glowing in the dark, and for a moment Chel thought he might finally snap and go crazy for good.
"You know, you're perfectly right. I think I'll take my leave right now," she said. She reached the long steps down and turned around, careful to keep the gold away from the priest's sight. She was happy to notice that he didn't try to follow her, and she wrapped a cloth around her treasure and pressed it against her chest. She hoped Tzekel-Kan would be too confused about her stunt to notice that anything was missing from the temple.
Unfortunately for her, she barely made it to the street when she heard a loud command from behind her.
Crap, she thought with growing panic. She took one glance behind her and started running, sending a prayer to the gods and asking that just this once in her life, they would come to her aid. In her gut, though, she had a strong feeling that this misadventure wouldn't end like she had planned.
The End