"Jake it's been weeks. Go out and see your friends." Dad said coming into the living room.

"I don't feel like it Dad..." I shrugged.

He stayed quiet for a few moments before saying something I hadn't heard in a while.

"Why don't you go see Akenna? She hasn't been around in a while."

(pronouced like Makenna without the m)

Akenna? I hadn't talked to her in two years. Not since I started having feelings for Bella. She more or less hated me. I'm pretty sure it was more.

"Go make some peace with her." Dad said, taking a drink of his beer.

"Maybe..." I leaned back in my chair.

"Just go see her. She asked about you yeasterday."

"Asked about what? If I'm dead yet?"

Dad sighed and shook his head.

"Yeah... I'll go by." I agreed, reluctantly.

After a few moments I got up to go shower and get dressed. I said bye to my dad and climbed in my truck. As I drove I though of my relationship with Kenna. Our mom's had died the same year when we were younger. Since then we had been close... Up until Bella. We used to spend a ton of time together. I started having feelings for her when I was 14... And then things got kinda of serious when we were 15. I had never officially asked her out but everyone knew we belonged together. She was the first girl I ever kissed. I honestly did love her. I did.

As I pulled up to her house the memories of the last time I was at her house flooded my mind.


Kenna sat between my legs wrapped in a blanket on the beach. We faced away from he fire burning behind us. The rest of he group was sitting around it talking and laughing.

"You two need another drink?" Embry asked, from thr cooler.

"Yeah!" Kenna nodded holding up her empty cup.

I laughed holding up my empty bottle of beer, "It doesn't look good if you can out drink me at the age of 16!"

"Maybe you should drink whiskey then." She smirked as
Embry handed me a beer and Kenna another Jack and coke.

I placed my chin in her shoulder and put my arms around her. She was shivering even under the heavy blanket she was wrapped in.

"Cold babe?" I asked.

"Well it's 63 degrees Jake!" She laughed.

Her hair was still wet from swimming earlier in the day. I buried my face in her neck and closed my eyes. She smelled perfect. I loved her. Our moment was shattered by the sound of Leah screaming. I turned quickly to find Quil and Seth running with her in their arms towards the water.

"Come on guys! Don't do that!" Kenna groaned.

I turned back to her as the guys dropped Leah in the water. Kenna yawned and leaned her head back on my chest.

"You tired?" I asked.

She nodded, closing her eyes.

"I'll take you home."

I stood up and helped her to her feet. She walked with me hand in hand as I approached our friends.

"I'm gonna run her home." I said.

"Are you coming back?" Embry asked.

"Yeah I'll be back." I nodded.

I helped Kenna in to the truck and we started on our way to her house. As I drove she lay her head on my shoulder. I squeezed her hand gently. Finally we pulled up infront of her house. No car in the driveway indicated her dad wasn't home. He must have been at work. I opened my door and she hopped out on her side. I walked her to her to the door.

"Well I will call you in the morning." I said softly.

She nodded looking slightly sad.

"Whats wrong?" I asked moving closer.

"Nothing..." she forced a smile.

"I can tell there's something wrong." I responded.

"Don't leave." She said, her eyes pleading with me.

"Uh...you're dad should he home soon."

She shook her head, "He's out of town."

She looked down at her feet. And I debated in my head for a moment.

"Okay." I agreed.

She smiled and hugged me tightly. She then grabbed my hand and lead me up to a place I'd been many times before. I sat quietly on her bed as she went to change into her pajamas. I pulled my top shirt off, leaving my undershirt and set it on her computer desk. She came back in and sat down beside me.
I leaned over and kissed her forehead. She put her arms around my neck and kissed me gently.

"I love you Jake." she said.

"I love you too." I said, kissing her back.

It lasted several minutes. Finally she pulled away and lay down on her bed. I bit my lip unsure of where this was going. She reached up and grabbed my shirt and pulled me down next to her. Her lips crashed into mine. I sank into her bed as she began to undress me. She pulled my shirt over my head and threw it on the floor. I placed my lips on her neck and sucked lightly. She squeaked a little. I laughed and continued my way down to her shoulder. I gently pushed her the top of her tank top off her shoulder and continued. I felt her heart beat pick up. She smiled as moved to her chest. I looked her in the eyes the entire time. She swallowed the lump in the throat as I reached down and pulled her shirt up gently. I watched as she bit her lip as I kissed the skin I exposed as I pushed her shirt up further. She sat up a little and raised her hands. As gently as I could I lifted he shirt over her head. I had never seen her so beautiful. Maybe it was because I'd never seen her this way. Her breast were exposed and her cheeks grew bright red.

"You're perfect Kensy." I whispered, using her nickname I'd given her when we were young.

Her tiny hands made their way to the waist of my jeans. She undid them quickly. I wiggled out of them and kicked them aside. I turned my attention back to her and laid down beside her. I kissed her deeply and brushed my thumb across her cheek. There was moisture... Tears. I pulled back, wanting to make sure she was okay.

"Whats wrong?" I asked pulling her to lay on my chest.

"Jake...I...uh..." she said between breaths. Then just above a whisper she said "I'm a virgin."

I laughed a little and smiled, "I know."

She looked at me seriously, "I saves myself for you."

That caught me a little off gaurd. "Really?"

She nodded shyly.

"Don't worry...I'm a virgin too." I stated, knowing she already knew that.

I smiled and kissed her gently with as much passion as I could produce. She wrapped her arms around me and I rolled over to be on top. I brushed strands of her long black hair out of her face.

"Tell me you want this." I whispered, burying my face in her neck.

"I want this Jake." she panted sofly.

Hearing those words I removed the last peices of clothing from both of us. Kenna shivered as she lay naked in front of me. I reached over and grabbed her blankets and covered us with them. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me as I placed myself at her entrance. I never broke the kiss as I lifted her legs to be around my waist for better access. I pushed gently into her tiny body. She whimpered softly. I stopped for a moment to let her calm down then tried again. I pushed a little deeper feeling her warm walls around me now. I gasped and rested my head on her shoulder. I reached as far as i could go and we lay there for a moment so she could adjust to my entire length. I slowly pulled out then pushed back in. She moaned softly. I found a rhythem that worked and went with it. Kenna held me close and I moaned softly into her mouth as we kissed. I ran her finger tips down my back as I picked up the pace. I had never felt anything like this before. Kenna's eyes were squeezed shut as I felt her tighten around me sending me over the edge. An intense wave of pleasure washed over both of us.

"Oh Fuck! Kenna! ...God!"

"Jake! Ah! Oh Jake!"

I rested my head On her shoulder once more as I recovered. Lifting my head I found her lips and we kissed for what seemed like hours. I gently pulled out and lay beside her. She cuddled up next to me and I held her close as we both drifted into slumber.

The next day was when I met Bella. The next day was when things became complicated.

I work up next to Kenna. She was still sleeping. My phone was beeping indicating voicemails, missed calls and texts. I reached for it and found my dad had called about 20 times, 14 texts from Quil, 17 texts from Embry and 3 voicemails. I scrolled throught the texts mostly asking where I was and if I was coming back. All the voicemails were from my dad. I dialed his number and let it ring.

"Jacob, where are you?" he demanded.

"Relax! I fell asleep at Akenna's! She didnt want to he alone and i was only going to stay till she fell asleep but I passed out! Sorry!"

"Get home now!" he ordered.

I hung up and rolled back over to Kenna. She was just waking up. Her eyes opened and she smiled.

"Morning gorgeous." I kissed her forehead.

"Mmm hi!" she responded sleepily.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"I'll live." she shrugged.

"Well look I gotta go. My dad is freaking out and wants me home but I'll come back later." I explained.

She nodded as I started to get dressed.

"I love you Jake." she said and I pulled my shirt back on.

I smiled, "I love you too."

She smiled the biggest smile I'd ever seen. It was amazing. I kissed he once more before leaving.

I walked in my house to find my Dad on the phone. He didn't seem to notice I was there so I headed to my room to shower. I stood in the bathroom waiting for the water to warm up. I pulled my shirts off and noticed a few teeth marks on my shoulder. Had Kenna bitten me? I don't remember her biting at all. I turned around to look at my back in the mirror. There were several scrapes from what little nails she had. I smirked to myself. I had just lost my virginity to my best friend. I loved her. I undressed the rest of the way and got in the shower. I water felt amazing against my skin. It was so relaxing. I stayed there for some time before climbing out and wrapping my towel around my wait. I got to my dresser and pulled out fresh clothes. As I turned around my dad appeared in the doorway. I gasped and reached up to cover my shoulder. He smirked a little...did he know? Could he tell? Oh God.

"I just got off the phone with Charlie. His daughter just moved back. You remember Bella don't you?"

"Oh...Bella, yeah of course! Mud pies." I nodded.

"Yeah well can you follow me to Forks in the old truck? Charlie's buying it for her."

"Yeah sure..." I nodded.

"And next time just call if you're going to stay out all night..." He smirked again.

I nodded, embarrassed. My face had to be redder than ever. How could he tell? My back was not in his view so he couldn't see the scratches...and I covered the mark on my shoulder. Or was he just that good?

Over the next few days I hadn't seen or really talked to Kenna. All I could focus on was Bella. I wasn't sure why. The next day of school Kenna ignored me completely. In our classes she didn't even aknowledge my presence. She didn't look to see if I was looking like she normally did.

"Why is Akenna acting like that?" Quil asked.

I shrugged.

"Didn't you sleep with her the other night?" Embry asked.

"Shh! Shut up!" I hissed. "How the fuck do you know?"

"Well you never came back to the beach, you didn't answer our calls or texts...so I assumed..." He explained.

"Look...just keep that to yourself!" I rolled my eyes.

"Sure thing...but what did you do to piss her off? Do you suck or something?"Quil asked.

"Considering he was a virgin, probably." Embry laughed.

"Embry I swear to God if you don't shut up..." I growled.

"Okay I'm done. Sorry."

Later that day I was walking to my last class when I saw Kenna at her locker, the hallway completely empty. Now was my chance to ask her what was up.

"Kenna..." I said walking closer to her.

She inhaled sharply. I had surprised her.

"What Jacob?" She said almost annoyed.

"What's wrong? Why are you acting like this?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You didn't call...I had to call you and when you answered you were to busy to talk. And when you did have time to talk all you did was talk about Bella. It's almost like I didn't tell you I saved myself for you. After 4 years of hoping that you would love me back you finally said it and then...we...and you said it back! Now I'm not sure you even meant it Jacob. Don't call me." She glared.

"Kenna...look...just listen!"

"Save it for your beloved Bella." She snapped, slamming her locker and walking out the nearest exit.

I sat in my truck remembering all the things I'd done wrong. The one thing I never did was tell anyone about what we had done. Embry and Quil kept their mouths shut. I never betrayed her that way. My thoughts were interupted as I saw Kenna leaving her house. I quickly jumped out of my truck and made my way towards her.

"Kensy..." I said.

Her head slowly raised and her eyes met mine. She didn't look the same anymore. She had changed a lot. She was older. Her hair was shorter. Her make-up was different.

"Jake?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Hey." I nodded.

"You cut your hair." She tilted her head.

"So did you."

"What are you doing here?" She changed the subject quickly.

"I wanted to see you. My dad said you asked about me so I thought maybe we could...talk." I said, hopeful.

She looked hesitant, "I don't know Jake..."

"Please?"

Oh God! Was I begging?

"Um...I have something to do right now but maybe this afternoon."

"I'll be home all day." I shrugged.

"I'll come by later." She nodded.

"Okay." I smiled.

It was then that I realized how much I missed her. I realized I couldn't have Bella. Maybe I wasn't supposed to have Bella...

A/N: I like to add songs to show how the characters feel for eachother. :) Here they are...

Just Jake for now: "Bad Habits and Body Language" - Just Surrender