A/N: Written as a Christmas present for RaggyDollPirate a.k.a. Jade Starfall, a fantabulous writer and longtime reviewer. Some of the characters can only be found in the RPG Sparrow's Folly, but it shouldn't matter too much. There are a few references to the plot of the game too but otherwise this story is standalone and will hopefully be of enjoyment to all. Slightly leans towards a Jack/OC but don't fret, ladies and gents, the Cap'n remains a confounded bachelor as he always should be. As usual, I do not own any characters from Pirates of the Caribbean or Anne Bishop's Black Jewels Trilogy.

No Nasty Surprises

(A tale of Sparrow's Folly)

For Jade

Chapter 1: Little Jade Riding Hood

"It's a book."

"A valuable tome sealed within an antique chest with no less than five locks to open it."

"Jack, y' tellin' me y' sank that trade sloop f'r a book?"

The pirate captain sighed and looked up from the open chest upon his cabin desk. "What I am telling you is that nothing guarded to such an extent that every man on board would rather be forced to abandon ship is without a considerable price on the market."

Brushing a strand of chocolate brown hair over her ear, Jade sat upon the edge of the desk and picked absently at the jewels encrusting the box lid. She watched Jack pull free the old book's clasps and lift the weighty cover. "So whassit got in it then?"

He frowned, leafing slowly through the pages, caressing them as though they might disintegrate under too much touch. "Pictures…" he said.

Jade raised an eyebrow. "Oh, 's that kind of book. No wonder they were loath t' leave it."

Too engrossed in what he was looking at, Sparrow merely shook his head. Jade leaned over, trying to see the tome over the great chest. The lettering and ink tones made her think of brown-robed clerics meticulously slaving in dusty rooms. After a few minutes of silence in which Jack continued to pore over the enigmatic artefact, impatience got the better of the young woman. She dropped down from her perch and sauntered about to peer over the pirate's shoulders.

"Anythin' of int'rest, Cap'n?"

"Dunno really," Jack muttered. "It's like a book o' fairy tales or some'ing, only there's no words an' the images themselves don't seem to follow any coherent order."

Jade examined the page that was currently open. It depicted a winding forest path, sketched in a rough and sinister manner. There was something off-centre about the illustration, as though the focal point had never been drawn, or had…but was no longer there. She could not help but feel that were she to look out of the corner of her eye she might almost glimpse that missing piece. It was unfeasible not to try.

"What was that?" Jack blurted.

Jade snapped to attention. A possibility of a shadow in the picture vanished into the scruffy trees.

"What was what?"

"Thought I saw something move," said the Captain, apparently with no concern of his perceived sanity. "Somewhere around there." He tapped on the page at the far reaches of the drawn path.

Jade peered closer and tried to push Jack's finger aside to see for herself. No sooner had she touched the page, the two of them hissed in pain. Sharp, like a paper-cut. Ahead of them, the cabin doors slammed shut. Jack jumped up, kicking his chair backwards. At the same moment, the old book began suddenly to tremble before it rocketed across the room and pinned itself against the doors, the same pages splayed open.

Jack gripped Jade's arms just below her shoulders and edged her back with him, their gaze transfixed upon the animated tome. Together they watched in a fearful trance as the ink from the drawing began to seep from the book and – somehow – injected into the cabin. The watery pallor of the illustration soaked the room around them and began to twist the walls, the floor, the desk. The cabin was etch-a-sketching itself into trees, open dreary skies and a dirt path.

Jade was standing alone on the forest track, the unwelcoming pines looming on either side. It did not take her long to notice the hamper basket that had appeared in her arms, and she was wearing a long, red cloak…

"Er…Jack?"

Not even birdsong responded.

Scowling at the foreign landscape that had hijacked her surroundings, Jade hissed out, "Well sod this f'r a lark. You'd think we were past this sort o' thing after all that Locker tripe, but pffft!"

She peeked inside the hamper. There was a box of eggs, a block of butter and a large sponge cake with a sugar glaze. Jade's eyes widened. She glanced about should anyone lay a claim to the mouth-watering contents. Then she grinned. Perfectly baked sponge crumbled off into her fingers and she scooped a generous chunk into her mouth. It tasted real enough. Her stomach growled, reminding her of how long it had been since she had had a good meal. Not one to argue with her own senses, Jade shovelled yet more of the cake past her lips.

Her eyes were closed during her indulgence and so she was rather startled when a familiar voice called out:

"Can't leave you alone for a moment."

"Mmf." Jade looked up, mouth replete. Jack was leaning against a charcoal-coloured tree, arms folded. He had the air of a highwayman about him in this setting. The young woman swallowed guiltily.

"You were the one brought us 'ere, pokin' that stupid book, so don' try blamin' me. Where d'you s'pose we are, in any fashion? An' before y' ask, the irony of th' red cloak hasn't escaped me."

Jack grinned slyly and sauntered over. "It would be as good a guess as any to surmise we are inside the book. A further thought would suggest that it will not be quite so simple getting out again. Let's not fret though, eh?" He tapped the hilt of his cutlass. "We're still armed. If there're any wolves out here, shouldn' be too 'ard to scare 'em off." Smirking at her attire, he added, "Almost suits you, actually. Now, what goodies 'ave you been stuffing your face with?"

Jade swung the basket away before Jack could lift the lid.

"Gerroff! I found it. S'mine," she grumbled childishly. "Y'can 'ave it when I'm done with it." She started to trudge up the path, ignoring the pirate's amused expression as he walked alongside. "So did yeh find anythin' wherever you were?"

"As one might expect, there's your run-of-the-mill cottage in the woods just a few yards yonder. I wasn't on the path but 'tis my reckoning it likely goes past said abode. Were you to bestow upon a famished reprobate something from your basket, he might be persuaded to scout it out for yer. Make sure there's no nasty surprises awaitin', savvy?"

Jade only just resisted the temptation to smash the hamper into his self-satisfied face. Eyes narrowed, she lifted one of the basket sides and watched him score a furrow in the cake's trimming.

With every lewd implication, Jack bit down on the far reaches of his forefinger and drew it out to the tip, divesting it of icing. He stalked off into the woods again, leaving Jade to contend with the flush in her cheeks that was nearing as bright as her cloak. The pirate captain was long gone by the time she had bombarded the trees in his direction with eggs.

*****************************************************

A little while later the young woman in the red, hooded cloak arrived at the cottage. It was a simple affair: thatched roof; rounded windows; a chimney with curling smoke; and the symmetry of a child's drawing. She checked to see if Jack was loitering anywhere outside before approaching the door. It was unlocked.

"Jack? Y'in there?"

"Oh, hello m'dear." The voice was cracked, an old woman's. "Do come in. Your friend is just out fetching water for the kettle."

Jade stepped inside warily, one hand hovering to the dagger in her belt. It was a fairly pleasant home. Warmed by hearth; scented with lavender and the perfume of an elderly lady; stone walls decorated with small cross-stitch tapestries. There was a large four-poster bed occupying most of the room. Skirted with frills, it was covered in voluminous veils of white lace, almost as though it were ready to elope. She could see the shadow of someone behind the netting.

"Uh sorry f'r intrudin'. I've got some cake an' bits here. I'll jes' leave it by the door an' be on my way," Jade murmured awkwardly.

"You are very kind," the figure in the bed replied, "but it would tax my frame so to wander all the way over there, and it would not be proper to let one being so good to me go before I can thank her to her face."

"You want me to bring it to yeh?" the young woman said flatly.

"I would so appreciate it."

I'm sure you would.

"All the better to see me with, y' mean?"

There was no response. Jade gripped the hilt of her treasured white-rock knife and walked closer to the bed. Why she had not dumped the hamper and run already she did not know. Her feet weren't listening.

"'S awf'lly quiet in here," she mumbled.

"All the better to hear you with, m'dear."

Jade dropped the hamper with a loud thud and threw open the netting, blade raised to defend.

"Jack?!"

The pirate was lounging above the covers, arms folded, ankles crossed. He looked sideways at her with a shrewd smile. Jade's arm dropped to her side.

"What th' heck're yeh doing?" she snapped. "Scared me half t' death."

"All the better," he said, no longer in the cronely intonation.

"'N' what's that s'posed to -."

Jade gave a cry of surprise as Jack grabbed her shirt collar and pulled her past the veils. He pinned her at the wrists, pressing until she was forced to release the dagger. She hissed in pain.

"Jack, get off! This i'n't funny!"

Her heart omitted a beat when she locked eyes. His were wild, insane even, and almost yellowish. The terror of being very much alone struck her. She bunched up and slammed a purple boot into his chest before scrambling off the bed. She tripped over the hamper and sprawled onto a dressing table. Jade looked up groggily at her reflection. Beyond her, upon the mirror-world bed, was a ravenous black wolf.

Fighting back a cry, she bolted for the door. Jack was too fast. Having leapt from the end of the bed as she skimmed the side, he blocked her escape.

"Jack, snap out'f it," she said in desperation, the red hood falling back. "Y' don't want to hurt me. You're not like that."

"Ah, but can you be so certain? How long 'ave we known each other? A month, maybe two, three even? In that time we've already managed to cross one another on several occasions." He edged towards her and she backed off at equal pace.

"You know we didn't have a choice. Not an agreeable one anyways." She forced her voice to be firm. "You're not the wolf, Jack. Remember how the story goes? If yeh play this out, the woodsman comes 'n' cuts yeh open. The wolf doesn't win."

Sparrow leisurely drew his cutlass. The light of the hearth danced upon the blade.

"That all depends, love."

Engulfed in the numbness of fear, Jade continued to retreat, praying that she would be able to snatch her dagger from where it lay.

"On what 'xactly?"

"On the telling of the tale. You see, the story in its earliest written form retains the valuable lesson that was altered for bonny old England. A young woman has to learn that walking alone in the woods and liasing with wolves does not merit salvation. In the original French, it is the wolf that proves victorious."

Jade paled and dove for the bed. As she scrabbled for her weapon, Jack swung his sword into an end-post. The wooden canopy gave a groan. For a moment the young woman flinched, expecting the top to descend upon her skull. Her frantic hands reached for the dagger nestled between the pillows but instinct overcame her. She rolled off the bed a split-second before Jack severed another post and brought the canopy crashing down.

There was a door ahead of her that she had not noticed before. Flinging herself to her feet, Jade launched upon it and yanked the handle. She was greeted with the sight of free open air; the pink fluttering of cherry blossoms; the figure of the real Jack Sparrow drawing closer to save her…

At least that was what a disillusioned fraction of her brain willed her eyes to see. It was actually a pantry laden with cobwebs. Slumped brokenly upon the floor was a skeleton in a floral bonnet.

Unable to stop herself, Jade screamed.

The cold metal of the Captain's blade slid across her throat. Trembling, she walked backwards into him.

"I'd rather you didn't struggle," Jack whispered gruffly against her hair. "Can't be sullying the flavour with bruised meat, now can we?" He bit down on her ear.

Jade shrieked in pain. In her panic, she managed to push his arm away enough to duck under and flee through the archway into the cottage's kitchen. Her stomach churned. This was the last place she wanted to be. Feverishly she looked about for a weapon. What kind of kitchen didn't have a set of knives? There was a shelf of spices and cookery books. Her fingers grasped a pot of pepper as Jack entered.

"Your consideration flatters me, darling, but there's really no need for seasoning."

Jade glowered, teeth bared.

"Jes' come an' get me then, afore I ruin yeh meal. Y' can choke on it, too."

Silver and gold caps shining in his grin, Jack advanced. Jade wrenched the top from the container and flung the contents at his face. The pirate turned his head as he moved, the grains trickling off his hat and hair braids. He pushed her into the stack of shelves, books and jars clattering around them.

Jade cursed inwardly. Why hadn't she run? Frozen in the certainty of death, her gaze dipped feebly to the floor as Jack drew in for the kill, to sink his teeth into her bare neck.

One of the books that had vacated the shelves lay open nearby. Had her green, softening eyes not been glazed with tears, Jade might have seen the ink from the pages running, spilling out into the room…

A gasp escaped her lips. Jade, the cottage, and the amber tint in the Captain's irises vanished into the watery painting of the unreal.