I wrote this a while ago, but wanted to share it with someone. I took the words in the last sentence from an episode of Higher Ground. That probably doesn't make it fan fiction because the characters are different. Great.
But let me know what you think.
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Blue Eyes, Brown Eyes
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You know what I went though, you said you understood.
But you never did. That was a lie.
Nothing that bad has ever happened to you.
You are the one who treats people badly because you don't know what it's like.
You don't know what it's like to wake up one morning and realize you are alone in the world.
It happened once with my family. I had to start again, and that's not easy.
And then I met you.
You made me forget all the bad things that had happened in my life.
---
I can still feel your warm breath on my face in the cold mornings. I can still feel your big hands holding onto mine. I can still see your wide grin sweeping across your face.
You made my second life bearable. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't approached me that day.
"You look lost." I remember you saying.
"I am." I replied. I gathered my coat around my shivering body and I held my suitcase tighter, it was the only thing I managed to save in the fire. My family couldn't fit into it.
"New to town?" Your friendly eyes looked into mine.
"I've lived here all my life." I answered back.
And that was that. It was all you needed. You invited yourself in and I didn't throw you out.
---
I became obsessed with you. I couldn't get enough. You were good to me. I treated you well. I didn't ask questions, you never pestered.
We talked all the time in the beginning. We took baths together by candlelight. We made each other breakfast. You would surprise me with flowers.
You surprised her with flowers, too.
I had no idea then. I assumed your long trips were for business. Like I said, I never asked questions, I never thought I had to.
I had learned to trust people. But I hadn't learned to ask for trust in return. I didn't need to when I was with my family.
You were the only person after them. You were second only to their memory.
I didn't know what to look for. You were late from work sometimes but I looked past that. You smelled like a girl sometimes, but I never thought you would betray me. Never. That thought didn't even cross my innocent mind.
It should have if I had known what you would do to me.
---
The day you left I remember it was cold like the day I had met you.
I came home to you sitting on the couch. Your bags were packed and waiting by the door.
"You have to go again?" I asked.
"Yes." You answered. You stared straight ahead. You had stopped looking at me a long time before that.
"For business?"
"No." At this you stood up. You walked over to me. No, you didn't walk to me, I remember, I was in the way of the door.
You looked sorrowfully at me for the first time in months. You didn't meet my eyes. Your face looked rested. You slept well at night. You never had nightmares.
I should have offered you some of mine.
After putting on your coat, you picked up your bags and grabbed the doorknob. I latched onto your arm and forced you to look me in the eyes.
Your brown ones hadn't seen pain or death like mine. Your eyes were like a child's: big and exploring. Never understanding.
But my blue ones understood everything.
"Then why are you leaving?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.
"Because." You tried to keep your sentences short. In the last months we were together, I think I heard about a dozen words from you.
"Because why?" I demanded. I wanted to hear your say it.
You pushed my arm off of yours and glared at me.
"It's time for me to go."
With that you opened the door and walked out, leaving nothing but your toothbrush and a hole in my heart.
---
And I don't feel like trying anymore.
That hole is still in my heart. Even after all this time, it's still there.
And it hurts. It burns like the fire I had escaped so long ago, yet it chills me with your memory.
And I think I know why it's still there.
It's there because I have to face life alone again and I'm scared.
END