"She looks nice," said Nina, ponting at the screen of the phone Clara was holding, sipping at her third large glass of wine.
"She... is not my type," said Clara, laughing, swiping down on a blonde woman. She had invited Nina over for consolatory drinks at hers for her monthly cry slash moan about her current boyfriend. "And don't get me started on that picture you've put on."
"What about this one? She's local..." Nina said, ignoring her. They were on their second bottle of red wine, and after hearing of Clara complaining about being single for the fourteenth time that night, she had cajouled her into downloading a dating app to try and set her up with someone.
"No," Clara said, topping up her glass, "oh, I don't know," she sighed loudly. "I can't really tell on here, this is a stupid idea, I don't know why I am bothering."
"Come on Clara," Nina said, leaning back on the green sofa. "You can't sit and moan about your love life being shit-"
"It's not... shit," Clara interrupted, tilting her head, "it's completely non-existent." She shrugged her shoulders, exhaling heavily. She swiped down a few more times, excluding a few women who were also not her type.
"How about her?" Nina looked over Clara's shoulder.
"She's twenty," Clara said, shaking her head, swiping down, "too young."
"And how old was... thingy? You know, the blonde one?" Nina asked wryly, already knowing the answer.
"Eighteen," smirked Clara, remembering the woman she'd accidentally ended up in bed with when a group of colleagues at the end of term work drinks ended up in Heaven, "and you know that." She sipped wine, unable to keep the smile off her face. She had enjoyed that night. A lot.
"So you cannot exclude people for age, she was barely legal," Nina observed.
"Barely legal," Clara said incredulous, "she was hardly... barely legal." Nina was right of course. She laughed to herself. "She was also four months ago and now back in Australia."
Nina swiped up on a woman whilst Clara was distracted recalling the finer details of what she had been doing that night, grinning.
"No, no, no," Clara shouted, snatching her phone out of the way, "what the hell are you doing?!"
Nina laughed at her, "I'm trying to get you a date this weekend!"
"Will you please stop?" Clara said loudly.
"Whatever," Nina sassed, holding up her hands, playfully, "but if I have to listen about your lack of any action one more time-"
"OK, OK," Clara laughed at her, looking down at the screen, deciding to entertain Nina as she finished her fourth glass of wine. "I guess she," she pointed to the screen, "is kinda hot." She aimed her phone at Nina.
"Not bad," Nina agreed. "OK, I suppose."
Clara swiped up, revealing the next woman. "Uxbridge?" she reacted. "Too far," she said, swiping down. "Hmm, don't like the hair," Clara said.
"I have created a monster," Nina said, laughing to herself.
"Too old," Clara said inbetween swiping down, "too tall, eyebrow ring... err... no, too much fake tan-"
"Too much fake tan?" Nina coughed a sip of wine back, "is that a criteria we are measuring women against now? You're hardly a fine one to talk, remember when you wore it every day for five months about eight years ago? You looked hilarious."
"I didn't look... hilarious," Clara mimicked her, "I looked sun kissed, thank you very much." Nina was right though, she couldn't look at those photos without shuddering.
"Sun kissed," Nina sniggered, saying under her breath, "try ten years somewhere near the equator." She let a silence hang in the air as she drank a large slug of wine.
"Shut up," snapped Clara, narowing her eyes, going back to assessing the women. "Yes, no, no, no, god no, maybe, yes," she continued out loud.
"Now you're getting it," laughed Nina, disappearing to the kitchen to retrieve a third bottle of wine.
Clara reacted to a few more pictures and then set her phone on the coffee table in front, realising that she was being incredibly shallow and was more than a little drunk.
Nina returned with the bottle of wine and began opening it with the corkscrew as she sat down.
"God, this is depressing," said Clara, putting her hand to her head, leaning back on the sofa, curling her feet underneath her.
""Thanks," said Nina sarcastically.
"No, no, I don't mean you coming over," Clara clarified, "I mean the fact I'm 29, it's Friday night, I'm drunk in my flat at," she checked the clock, "9pm, I'm single, haven't been with anyone for months-"
"Oh please, stop it," Nina said, putting down the bottle of wine, holding out her hands beckoning Clara for a hug.
"-and the only way I can find someone to go on a date with is on some app," she said, resigned, cuddling Nina.
"Come here," said Nina hugging her tightly, "it's OK, come on, it's the wine talking, you're beautiful and amazing-"
"I know," Clara sighed. "Do you know what I need?" she said, pulling away.
"What?" Nina asked.
"More wine," Clara held up her empty glass. "Fill me up."
Nina laughed at her, "the solution to everything." She topped up Clara's glass almost to the top.
"Oh yeah," said Clara, nodding. "Perfect," she smiled.
Clara's phone vibrated once on the table. She picked it up and looked at the message, laughing to herself, tilting her head.
"What?" said Nina, curious.
She held her phone towards Nina, "apparently I've got... three matches."
"Yes!" squealed Nina, "I told you that picture from Mykonos would work!"
"Right," said Clara, curiously raising an eyebrow, "so what do I do now?"