Disclaimer: Don't own glee or the characther. Duh.
A/N: In my defense, I was drunk in Doritos and Hershey's Kisses. Warning: A lil bit cracky.
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
It was Thursday. Quinn hates Thursday.
It's close to the weekend so she has a reason to be excited, but not close enough because she has work in the next day.
Thursday is the sneakiest day of the week. It can easily be mistaken by a Friday, however it all comes crashing down when the alarm clocks beeps.
However, Quinn expects Thursday, she has long learn her lesson, what she didn't expect was her.
A petite brunette, innocent enough. She was the perfect disguise of a normal client.
Her shift was oh-so-close to ending, if only she was in another section. Who needs help buying water after all?
She should've known better, the hipsters, gluten free, veggie lovers, lactose intolerant, weirdoes that shop at Whole Foods. They would certainly have a problem purchasing water of all things.
Quinn was a simple girl, she likes her bacon, and she likes normal food. She doesn't care if some cow was slaughtered for it. It's the cycle of life. Don't get her wrong, she is not in favor of mistreating animals, her cat could attest how much she loves them, but she really likes her meat.
She didn't understand any of the people she saw at Whole Foods, nor did she care about them, as long as their crazed minded way of life didn't disturbed hers.
So imagine her surprise when some short sized brown-haired woman asked about water. Water!
"Excuse me, ma'am. Could you apprise which of these brands is more recommended in order to hydrate ones vocal cords?" The woman questioned with a pleasant smile, as if it was normal to wonder such things, or ask them as if she had swallowed a dictionary.
Quinn did her best to remain professional, and refrained from asking if the woman was high, since solemn she wasn't.
"Uh… I guess whatever is fine; all of them will do the job." Don't argue with the customers, was the first thing she learned.
"I suppose." She pursed her lips, "However, I can't have a 'fine' hydration of my vocal cords." She quotes with her fingers, who even does that. "If one settles for fine that will define them, therefore a fine hydration will lead to a fine vocal performance, and excuse me, but I haven't seen fine performances win any Tonys, have you?"
Quinn laughs. She cracks up while the woman stares at her with her head tilted oblivious of the humor.
"That was hilarious; did Santana put you up to this?"
The brunette frowns, "I'm sorry, Santana who?"
"You're a good one; I don't even know how you manage to say all that hydration brand bullshit with a straight face."
The woman's face changed in a blink of an eye, the cutely wrinkled confusion turned into an angered scowl.
Quinn was still snickering.
"Excuse you! I'm sorry if you are unaware of the importance of hydration, I shall explain it to you ignorant employee." Now Quinn was the one scowling upon being called ignorant. "It cannot be overemphasize how important it is to maintain good water intake, especially when performing. Good water intake helps to keep the lubricating mucus on ones vocal cords thin, creating the ideal environment for vocal cords to work."
Quinn crosses her arms and arches one eyebrow; she was annoyed. Who did this woman thought she was?
She had enough of her speech. "I can't see how that's relevant. Yeah, water is good for your body, take a bottle and go."
Apparently, the brunette did not like to be rushed, she glared at Quinn and proceeded to ramble. "If you were well mannered and had not rudely interrupted me previously, I could've conclude and you would have known how that is pertinent. As you probably have heard, water derives from the solo, and as you can see these brands inform what type of solo they were taken from. Thus, there must be a difference between them, and if there is a difference than surely one of them would hydrate my vocal cords better."
Must not scream at customers nor call them any derogatory term.
Quinn was sure; that woman was nuts. No one in their right state of mind would say that. She couldn't tell her that, however, Quinn had a cat to feed and her college wouldn't pay itself, she couldn't risk her job over an delusional brunette.
"Very well then," She clears her throat, "I advise you to buy all of them, then try out which one hydrates your precious vocal cords better." There was no telling where this would go if Quinn didn't agree with the crazy.
"You would like that wouldn't you?" She narrowed her eyes. "Rather than assist me, you instruct me to purchase all of them, may I inform you that money doesn't grow on trees." Neither does time! Quinn wanted to yell at her.
She refrains from doing it; breaths in and out, calming herself down. "Very well, ma'am. I suppose you are right. However, how do you expect me to know which brand of water is better suited for your wishes?" She says through gritted teeth with an enraged glint on her eyes.
"As an employee I believe it's your job to provide us, consumers, the information we require." She answers petulantly. "Furthermore, I would guess if one was aiming to be competent, they would search about the contents they yielded, thus being able to inform their shoppers properly."
The petite woman says elevating her chin in a superior manner.
Quinn had had enough. The brunette was clearly joking, or insanely crazy, either way Quinn didn't had time for it.
"Sue me, then. I'm not 'aiming to be competent'," She rolls her eyes having already passed the exasperated state. "I'm aiming to get home, order take-out, feeding my cat and watching a movie, until my roommate gets home, then I'll aim to laugh at her drunk face."
She sighs, hoping the woman had gotten the message. Her posture is still the same, so Quinn guesses she wasn't so lucky.
"Technically, you don't order take-out from home." Quinn frowns. What was this nut job going on about? "You see, take-out implies that you purchased the item at the restaurant and plan to eat somewhere else, which isn't that case." She pauses, "I should've expect such slipup from ill-informed person as yourself."
Quinn's eyebrow lifts after the remark and her eyes gleam with irritation.
To hell with the client is always right.
"Listen to me, I do not care who the hell you think you are, I seriously don't give a shit. You want something to make your voice sound better, drink tea or whatever. Water is always the fucking same thing. And, if you think for a second it's different, then I'm sorry to inform you, you are crazy." She finishes staring deep down in brown chocolate eyes.
They didn't look appalled, they still held the determined glare.
"Excuse you, but being concerned about my vocal abilities does not qualify me as crazy. Also, striving for the best is nothing if not admirable." She straightens her posture still sure of herself. "And if you must know, coffee, tea and most soft drinks contain caffeine that tend to lead dehydration, therefore it's recommended to avoid those when close to performing. Again if you cared to educate yourself you would know that."
Fuck it.
"That's enough for me. My shift was over five minutes ago, sometime around your madness. I do not need to hear any more of this." She throws her work apron on some counter, and turn to the appalled woman, "But, just for the record, if you could actually fucking sing you shouldn't be so damn worried about a insignificant thing as your water brand. Since you are, I advise you to start waiting tables because that's as far as this will go for you." She turns around and heads towards the exit; leaving a stunned brunette staring after her.
Rachel stands baffled, she didn't understand the attendant's outburst, all she wanted was some information. Maybe she was slightly persistent but still, how impolite to leave a client.
She considers complaining to the woman's manager, however decided against it. Everyone deserves a second chance. Also, even though storm offs were her thing – only she could execute a perfect one – she reckoned the attendant's were somewhat acceptable.
She makes a metal note to stop by some other time and approach the blonde to discuss her behavior, perchance give her some instructions on how to improve her storm out technique.
She gathers all five different brands of water in her cart, making her way towards the cashier.
Quinn wasn't so collected. She rushed through the streets get to her apartment; the brunette had delayed her enough. Her movement halted however, when an annoyingly familiar face appeared. It was plastered on a billboard. Shinny. Smiling.
Her eyes widened. It couldn't be.
But it was. There, for everyone to see was the face of the frustrating woman from the store.
Star of Wicked.
Rachel Fucking Berry. So she did sing.
A/N: Please don't judge Rachel too hard, she was based in a real life experience, believe it or not. I do plan to continue this, however I need to get it on paper and that's always a hassle, though if there's interest I will dedicate part of my summer break for this.
Feel free to leave your thoughts and whatever. Also, I recently got back on tumblr, so if you want to talk to me through there my URL is the same as my user name (midwinternight).