Note: I already have this cross posted on archive of our own, and tumblr but I realized I never posted it here. My bad!
Nezumi is reading on their couch. He's draped across it diagonally, resting the back of his head on the armrest with his feet on the old, worn coffee table Karan gave Shion as an apartment-warming present. The image is new and exciting and perfect until something in the back of Shion's mind tells him he should be upset by the fact that Nezumi is still wearing his boots.
He needs to leave the doorway immediately, and tell Nezumi that he is going to scuff the table. He needs to alert the lounging man that the table should be treated nicely because it belonged to his mother, and really, it's an antique. But Nezumi is reading an actual book on their actual couch, actually, and that mere fact makes something in Shion's heart well up, expand, and spread throughout his entire body, filling him with a loose sort of giddiness that makes criticizing anything about Nezumi's presence feel absolutely absurd.
Nezumi speaks and it takes Shion approximately a fifth of a second to remember how to actually listen to his words instead of watching those long fingers move to the corner of the page, not folding it, but tracing the number; He's memorizing it for later.
"Can you repeat that, please?"
"Honestly?" Nezumi laughs, short and with a little too much air, and it's not quite perfect, but it's pretty close. He shuts the book.
Shion is hit with a sudden inexplicable and powerful urge to kiss him, but then he'd definitely miss whatever information Nezumi wants to impart, and that would just be embarrassing. Instead, he stands still, and patiently waits for Nezumi to fill him in on the joke.
The boy in question only shakes his head, moving dark bangs from his eyes (His bangs are getting too long. Shion makes a mental note to fix the problem later.) before leisurely lowering his legs from their comfortable, forbidden—Shion firmly reminds himself— spot on the table to a slightly less grandiose position on the floor. "It hardly bears repeating."
To Shion's confusion, Nezumi does not look at him directly, instead letting his gaze hit slightly above the shorter man's head. He brings a hand to his forehead, shading his eyes.
"I was saying that if you keep looking at me like that you're going to blind me. Way too bright."
Shion realizes that he's been grinning shamelessly this entire time, but it matters little to him because now Nezumi is also smiling, and his smile is even more distracting than his boots being on the table, and infinitely more attractive and appealing.
It's Shion's favorite smile, reminiscent of his old smile before their reunion, but evolved, and somehow twice as beautiful. Shion almost, almost forgets to fake offense at the teasing in favor of admiring Nezumi's lips, the timbre of his voice, too low to be considered high, too high to be considered low, and overall here-ness.
It's a little much and Shion knows it.
But as much as he tries to replace the entirely unsophisticated gleam from his face with a petulant sneer or at least an irritable pout, it keeps returning on it's own with the tenacity and persistence of an exceedingly bright cockroach.
He can't help it. Shion is determined to recommit everything that had faded about the boy-now-man in front of him to memory, if only to make up for the time they'd lost.
The giddy feeling is back, and Shion attempts to force it down before his heart can burst and Nezumi can make fun of him more for it. He never knew it was possible to feel so full.
"It's perfectly normal to be happy to see someone," Shion manages to taunt, measuring his voice carefully, noticing for the first time that aside from the fact Nezumi had been sitting on their couch reading, it was also very late at night. Excluding the first few nights where Shion had taken off work because Nezumi was back dammit Tori could handle a couple of meetings without him- Nezumi was already in bed when he'd arrived home. He wasn't prepared for the slight tickling feeling in his chest that came with the realization that Nezumi had stayed up for him.
"Happiness is one thing, the look you were shooting out a second ago was positively lethal," Nezumi says, tilting his head to one side and then to the other, stretching his neck. He lowers his hand to beckon Shion closer with a finger as his speaks. Against Nezumi's wishes, Shion picks up a coffee mug from the table, recently emptied. Naturally, no coaster was used. There's the reminder in his head again: be annoyed. Far easier said than done.
"I thought you said my gaze was blinding." He takes the cup to the sink, rinsing it out and drying it with a yellow towel- another gift from his mother. He places it in the cabinet, feeling Nezumi's eyes following him. It's much easier to be annoyed with Nezumi's slovenly behavior when Shion isn't looking at him directly. In response, Nezumi speaks louder and Shion has to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Nezumi is good at many things, but since their reunion, Shion is reminded everyday that being ignored is a skill he has yet to perfect.
If he was feeling honest, he would acknowledge it was a skill both of them were lacking in.
"It was blinding. Also, scorching. If it had continued I fear I would have burst into flame and gotten ashes all over this god-awful carpet." Shion refolds the towel, stepping out of the kitchen area to walk over to Nezumi, crossing his arms before he gets too close to the sofa. Nezumi is being childish and it's all very cute, but he shouldn't humor him too much.
"Don't say that; the carpet was a gift."
"You should reconsider that friendship, Shion. Pink rose bordering? Are you 90?"
"Carpets are expensive and it was a gift from his aunt."
"So he gave it to you? Wow, such a gentleman! Let me guess, Tori?"
"Does it matter?"
"I knew it. You really have to hand it to him, he's endearingly persistent."
Shion rolls his eyes, exhaustion from work winning out over mild irritation as he takes a seat next to Nezumi. He exhales, forgetting his retort in favor of loosening his tie and removing his jacket. He sets it on top of the couch arm. Nezumi watches him, his smug smile fading into something more knowing upon seeing the slight bags under Shion's eyes.
"Long day?"
"Very."
Nezumi gives Shion's tie a small tug and in response Shion allows his head to fall against Nezumi's shoulder. He feels lips in his hair, an arm around his waist, Nezumi's voice calm and barely above a whisper. "How long?"
Shion reaches for Nezumi's hand on impulse and gives it a gentle squeeze.
"Too long for what you're thinking. The trains between cities are acting up. I've been delivering messages all day from the engineers to the station but there just aren't enough parts to go around." Nezumi makes a small sound- probably recognition- his breath warm against Shion's ear.
"Stressful."
"It was."
Shion shuts his eyes, enjoying the feeling of the hand snug in his own. He's only aware of the other hand at his waist sneaking him into Nezumi's waiting lap until it's right there under him, skilled fingers releasing his own to move up to his shoulders, kneading away with a sort of rough-softness unique to Nezumi. The voice picks up again, muffled slightly by Shion's hair but still perfectly audible.
"How did you get to the station from West Block? The bus only runs half that."
"I rode my bike- I'm surprised you know that."
Nezumi hums slightly in response, fingers now working on a particularly deep knot in Shion's shoulders. It's a little uncomfortable, the knot stubborn and deep. Shion almost thinks that's the end of the conversation before he feels another quiet mumble against his ear.
"I guess I just get bored when you're away." He pauses, swallows, regretting the comment as soon as it escapes him. "Sorry."
Shion pauses, before leaning into Nezumi, nuzzling his shoulder to show he's not bothered. "An apology? How unlike you."
"Yeah, well. I can apologize for that one. I shouldn't have said that. It was unnecessary- irony aside." Nezumi is frowning again and Shion can't have that, he speaks, giving the side of Nezumi's neck a quick gentle kiss, hoping it expresses even a fraction of the gratefulness he feels for Nezumi's entire presence.
"You're allowed to miss me too, you know. I know you do."
Nezumi's arms wrap around him for a moment, forgoing the knot in favor of holding the man he owes everything to. "Not after leaving I don't—"
Shion bites him. It's a little harder than he intended and Nezumi starts, nearly kicking him off his lap on instinct, but instead he tightens his grip.
"What the hell, Shion!?"
"It happened. You're here now, and we're together. Don't you dare say you don't deserve this." Shion kisses the mark he left, soft and kind but his words carry an air of definiteness that threatens another bite should Nezumi decide to wallow in guilt any longer. "You're allowed to miss me, Nezumi. It's okay."
And Nezumi's not sure whether he should laugh and never let go of Shion again or ask to have Shion examined by a professional because no human being can compete with Shion's bizarre levels of patience. Perhaps both.
Instead, he sighs, kisses Shion's hair once and returns to working on his back, relishing Shion's distracted sigh as he finally succeeds in loosening the knot. He watches all of Shion's reactions carefully as he continues the massage, a slight smile on his face as looseness fills Shion's body. Nezumi kisses from his neck down to his shoulders and Shion debates ditching his shirt altogether in order to give Nezumi more room to work. He's blindly reaching for the top button on his shirt when Nezumi interrupts him, voice having lost all the vulnerability from before.
"Your legs are going to look amazing."
Shion snorts, eyes opening at the sudden comment.
"What?"
"From your bike-riding. Maybe you'll even build up a little muscle."
As if to prove his point, Nezumi runs his hands up Shion's thighs. Shion has to actively fight the urge to purr of all things and eagerly nestles farther into the warm body behind him. He gives Nezumi's throat another light kiss, and the smile Nezumi offers him in return makes his heart shake. Jokingly, Nezumi raises a hand to cover his eyes again and Shion pushes it back down, laughing quietly.
"Stop that, Nezumi."
"Only if you stop trying to roast me."
"It's not like I mean to!"
"That's precisely why it's so powerful. You're too bright, Your Majesty; I'm not meant to gaze upon that light." Shion nips at his Adam's apple in response, Nezumi's surprised 'again!?' not lost on him as he turns in his lap to get a better view of his face. Nezumi stubbornly stares above him, avoiding his gaze.
"Let me look at you."
"What?"
"You're looking away, I want to look at you."
"You're really pushy, you know that? Maybe it makes me uncomfortable."
Shion pauses, a plan forming in his head. He speaks tentatively but grows in confidence.
"If looking at me looking at you makes you uncomfortable, shut your eyes. Then I can look all I like and you won't have to worry at all."
"That's—"
He knows this will work.
"Shut your eyes, Nezumi."
A swallow. Shion takes Nezumi's hand again, lacing their fingers together. He feels a soft puff of air from the taller man, a sigh, and knows his smile is widening. He's probably looking silly again but can't bring himself to care. Reaching up, he takes his time stroking Nezumi's cheek, pushing a disobedient tendril of hair behind his ear.
His hand stays there, gently toying with the back of Nezumi's ponytail. He tied it lower than normal today, claiming that it was getting too long and heavy for the top of his head. He feels Nezumi's heart beat against his own, chest-to-chest, a steady, reliable thump. Their noses touch, just barely. Shion isn't entirely certain when they'd gotten so close, but he certainly isn't opposed to the proximity.
After all, like this, he can feel Nezumi's breath against his face as it tickles his nose. He can feel Nezumi tilt his head slightly. Note Nezumi's hand tightening just so around his own. He can feel what's coming. Shion moves his hand from its place in Nezumi's hair to lightly press a finger against the eager man's lips, blocking his kiss.
"Eyes."
The sigh was closer this time, faster. When Nezumi speaks, Shion feels his lips brush his finger, light and quick. Shion lowers it in favor of getting a better look at Nezumi's mouth. His eyes are still open.
"I thought you liked looking at them," Nezumi defends, "Actually, I'm pretty sure you've got a problem. You're obsessed with them—no, addicted. You're an addict. There are support groups for people like you, you know."
"They're incredible, and I don't regret my addiction. That said, I feel like your eyes always get the spotlight. Completely deserved but…sometimes I want to look at all of you." He smiles in response to Nezumi's derisive snort, voice only growing in determination. "Let me look at you, Nezumi."
The look Nezumi shoots him could make a lesser man cry, and Shion knows it. He couldn't be less intimidated; Nezumi finds himself once again facing an uphill battle when it comes to convincing Shion of anything. He rolls his eyes, a hand wrapping firmly around the back of Shion's neck. His voice lowers, unleashing a seduction technique taught by a darker time, but put to a much better use now.
"I'd rather kiss you, thanks." He leans in, but is once again blocked by Shion's finger. "Please, Nezumi?" Shion pauses, worried about coming across as disinterested, which he most decidedly is not. " We can kiss after. I promise."
"Slave driver."
"You would know."
"You have work in the morning; don't get my hopes up."
"I just want to—"
"—look at all of me. I know."
Nezumi runs a hand through his hair, scratching the back of his neck. Shion knows it means he's weakening. He tries to contain his excitement but the look Nezumi fires in his general direction makes it very clear his attempt at neutrality was anything but subtle.
"You are way too excited about this." A sigh, then relinquishment, "You have 1 minute."
"That's not long enough."
Nezumi glares, "Do you want this or not?"
"Two minutes."
Shion's mouth is set in a hard line. Nezumi lets out an irritated groan, clearly stating 'Fine but I won't like it' without any words, before finally letting his eyes slip shut.
"120…119…118—"
"Don't count."
Nezumi huffs, but stops his counting. Shion detangles their hands, brushes Nezumi's cheek again, a soft smile on his face. Shion takes his time, studying the solid smooth skin he's wanted to touch for years, the soft dip between Nezumi's nose and mouth, his cheekbones, his ears, his eyelids, committing everything to memory. He lets his touch linger on each area as his eyes scan over the man in front of him. He feels his smile expand and he lets out a soft laugh when he feels Nezumi's slight twitch when his fingers pass just under his chin.
"Too bright."
"Your eyes are shut."
"I can tell these things."
Shion replaces fingers with lips, kissing first the small crease between Nezumi's eyebrows and smiling as it smoothes over.
"You're incredible Nezumi."
His hands are on his shoulders now, lips slowly brushing Nezumi's left ear.
"So, so, beautiful."
He punctuates each word with another kiss. Cheek, nose, cheek. He feels Nezumi's slightly unsteady exhale before he kisses the corners of his mouth.
He pulls away, barely adjusting so he's straddling Nezumi more comfortably with plenty of room. He softens as he sees Nezumi unconsciously lean toward where he had been, eyes still shut. Always reaching for a source of warmth. "Nezumi…" Without conscious effort Shion's hands find their way to the bottom of Nezumi's shirt. It's just a little too small for his torso and the fabric rises up slightly. He brushes the slight peek of available skin and feels Nezumi shift underneath him.
"Can I open my eyes now?"
Shion's 'no' comes out faster than he expects, an eager huff against Nezumi's neck where he resumes his kisses. They're gentle but losing some of their innocence, light pepperings of built-up affection. Nezumi's eyes remain shut, and Shion feels rather than witnesses his soft shiver as he delivers a particularly light kiss just under his chin.
"Shion, what the hell are you doing?"
There's a certain lightness to his voice, contrasting with his slightly brusque words.
Shion pulls away, and instead of answering opts to feel where Nezumi's shirt rose up. He impulsively looks up to make eye contact before remembering Nezumi's current orders.
"May I…?"
"I thought you were tired." Shion doesn't miss the slight note of hope in Nezumi's voice. He keeps his as steady as possible.
"I am, I just—"
"Go ahead, Shion, you don't have to ask."
Wine eyes quickly flick to Nezumi's face, making sure the familiar grey remains comfortably hidden. Nezumi's arms are resting loosely on Shion's shoulders, raising easily above his head at Shion's coaxing. The fabric is lifted over his face, carefully folded and placed next to Shion's jacket on the arm of the couch.
"Keep your eyes shut, just a little longer."
Everything in order, Shion kisses down Nezumi's chest, his shoulder, and each one of his bullet scars. He swallows the memory and rests his ear against his front, listening and hearing his steady heartbeat. He smiles and feels eyes on him.
"You opened them."
"It's been three minutes. I was generous and gave you an extra one." Nezumi is smiling at him. He tilts Shion's face away from his chest and back up so their eyes can meet.
Shion's missed this so much.
He kisses him properly, the way he's wanted to since he was 16 and helplessly in love, cupping Nezumi's face in his hands, tender and careful. He feels Nezumi lean into him, his arms wrapping around him, his hands tangling his hair, and it feels for a moment like everything is finally as it should be.