Like A Flock
Sasuke+Naruto
Neji+Gaara
Summary: For three months Sasuke and Naruto have been dating and it's been great! The only problem is, Naruto won't let Sasuke take the next step in their relationship and now the only thing to do is to seek help from the master of relationships 'Neji' the thing is Neji doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.
Disclaimer: I don't own
"Would you get the hell off me teme!," screamed Naruto for what seemed to be the millionth time that night as he roughly shoved Sasuke to the other side of the bed. "Your not getting lucky tonight or any other night if you keep this up, so just stop."
"Damn Naruto how long do I have to wait it's been months now!," complained a now grumpy Sasuke. It wasn't his fault, he'd been dating Naruto for three months now and still no action, in guy time that was equivalent to a year.
"I told you when we started this that I didn't just wanna fuck around, I want to make sure that it means something to you when we finally do make that move." said Naruto as he stared at sasuke with huge puppy dog eyes.
Sasuke immediately felt guilty as he climbed back on top of Naruto, this time for completely different reasons, he stared into beautiful baby blue eyes that he knew he could never cast aside.
"Naruto, you know this means everything to me, your everything to me."said Sasuke as he moved to place a kiss on Naruto's own smaller ones. He was rewarded with one of the most beautiful smiles he had ever seen, one that he hoped to see for the rest of his life.
Sasuke smirked as he placed another kiss on Naruto's chin , followed by his neck.
"Teme, your being uncharacteristically affectionate tonight, did you just undo my pants?"
"..."
"Get off."
"What do you think I'm trying to do."
"Your disgusting and I'm tired."
"Dobe, we haven't even had sex yet and your already using the oldest excuse in the book to pass on sex." said Sasuke still maintaining his position on top of Naruto who in turn decided to ignore Sasuke as he rolled over thus causing Sasuke to fall off him.
Ten minutes had passed with silence on both ends. Naruto thought he was in the clear and was just seconds away from letting sleep claim him when...
"I can't sleep."
"Try."
"But I'm horny!"
"Deal with it."
"I'll get blue balls if you don't let me fuck you."
Did he just use that line on me...
"Sasuke"
"Hm"
"Did you just use that line on me, you do realize that I'm a guy right?"
"Meaning?"
"That line doesn't work on me, I know the truth."
"Damn."
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"Your problems simple man, Naruto's just confused he thinks he's in charge, you just gotta show Naruto that your the boss." began Neji as Sasuke nodded mutely in agreement. "You gotta show him that you won't take 'no' for an answer, it's not an option!
"Mmhm."
"Here's what you do, go up to him and say 'Listen here Naruto, I need sex and your gonna give it to me.'
"Mmhm."
"That's it Sasuke, I'm tell him just like that and he'll be eating outta your lap 'literally.' Finished Neji with a proud look on his face like he had just said something worth while.
"Neji have you ever thought that maybe I should just respect him and wait till he's ready." They both sat in silence for a few minute,each contimplaiting what Sasuke had just said.
"Naw that couldn't be it Sasuke." laughed Neji at his dumb friend, honestly where did he come up with this stuff.
"Yeah your right what the hell was I thinking." agreed Sasuke.
"Hey what's up guys," greeted Kiba as he came and took a seat at the small table in the restaurant that occupied both Neji and Sasuke.
"Hey."
"So what the hell was so important that I had to rush down here at 7 o' clock in the morning for?" asked Kiba genuinely curious.
"We're here to discuss how Sasuke can get his balls back." answered Neji.
"...What..."
"Because Naruto has them."
"..."
"Just shut up and listen Kiba, it's a serious problem." said Neji.
"Riiight, so what's the problem?"
"Sasuke, why don't you tell him, sometimes it helps if you say the problem out loud instead of keeping it in." said Neji matter if factly.
Sometimes Sasuke really wondered why the hell he even hung out with Neji, better yet why the hell did he ask him for relationship advice it wasn't like Neji's boyfriend was what you could call 'normal', anyway back to the situation at hand.
Sasuke had just finished telling Kiba all the misery and woe's he'd been having to endure for the past three months and damn it never seemed to fail at getting him chocked up.
"So basically he won't let you fuck?"
"Must you be so crude." yelled Neji
"Why am I not surprised that you and Naruto haven't had sex yet?" asked Kiba with a shake of his head.
"Whats that suppose to mean."
"Well Uchiha, word on the street is little Naruto has you eating right outta the psalm of his hand.
"What street?" asked Sasuke with gritted teeth.
"Doesn't matter now, word travels fast everyone knows."
"Do you believe this shit Neji."
"Oh I believe it Sasuke I told you I saw it coming."
"Last I checked Sasuke, weren't you suppose to be in charge?" taunted Kiba.
"I told you Sasuke, those pretty ones will walk all over you if you let them." said Neji like he was some sort of relationship guru.
"Like your one to talk Hyuuga, I hear Gaara has you an a very short leash." said Kiba now getting on Neji's case.
"Hm, you guys have no idea, sometimes I'm scared to even turn over in bed at night, you guys can't even imagine how creepy, this one time I didn't come home on time and I swear he just comes outta no where and I mean no where and just gives me 'the look', you know what I mean Sasuke you seen it! It's the scariest shit ever and I mean I seen some scary shit but..." suddenly Neji stopped mid-rant just in time to see two sets of amused eyes, one more so amused than the other.
"And I thought I had problems," laughed Sasuke.
"Um, I was just kidding guys, Gaara knows what the deal is I make him call me daddy."
"Oh really." said and eerily calm voice from directly behind him. It didn't take Neji half a second to realize who that creepy yet oddly sensual voice belonged to. In that one moment his entire life's ambitions flashed before his eyes...
-Neji's Life Ambitions before his untimely death-
"We hereby award Neji Hyuuga for being the smartest, coolest, sexiest, most kick ass and all around better Ninja that the stupid Uchiha of the leaf village forever." said Tsunade as she handed Neji one more medal to add to his numerous collection.
"Thank you."
Everyone applauded as Neji bowed politely to the audience, before engaging Gaara in a lip bruising kiss.
-Somewhere in a deep, dark, lonely cave with roaches-
"It's all your fault Sasuke that we have to live here, I shoulda married Neji when I had the chance, he's with sexy Gaara who is a red head by the way, a red head! Now look at me I'm filthy living here with all these damn roaches!," screamed Naruto as he squashed yet another roach.
"I'm sorry Naruto, I'm sorry!!!," cried Sasuke.
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"Neji, Neji, you ok man?" asked Kiba as he waved a hand in front of Neji's face.
Neji turned to confirm his worst nightmare, the voice did in fact belong to... Naruto!
"What the fuck, Naruto I almost shit myself for a minute there." said Neji as he tried to even out his breathing without making it noticeable.
"How'd you do that Dobe, you sounded exactly like Gaara for a second there." asked Sasuke as he moved to pull out a chair for Naruto.
"Well, when you hang out with someone long enough you start to sound like them after awhile." explained Naruto.
"But not like that, that was some scary shit there." said Kiba as Akamaru barked in agreement.
"Soooo, Naruto how much of the conversation did you hear?" asked Neji nervously.
"Only the part about how 'you think' you own Gaara." answered Naruto as he moved to drink some of Sasuke's water, who only looked on at him like a love sick puppy or a horny bastard whichever one came first.
"So your not gonna tell him are you." asked Neji as he flashed Naruto a dazzling smile. Naruto only laughed in response.
"Your gonna tell him aren't you." said Neji dejectedly.
"Oh Neji you know me better than that."
"So your not gonna tell him." asked Neji hopefully.
"Of course I am silly! I'm just surprised you even asked." For the second time that day Neji's life ambitions passed before his eyes, this time with minor alterations.
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Next time: Gaara makes his appearance and Sasuke takes Neji's advice and tries it on Naruto.
Love it/ Hate it Let me know if enough people like it I will continue. Anyways until next time review!!!!!!
-Javie-and-Sammie-