disclaimer; i don't own Naruto.
Chemistry Killed the Cat
"Cause you caught me off guard, now I'm running and screaming.
I feel like a hero and you are my heroine.
I won't try to philosophize, I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes.
This is how I feel, and it's so surreal." -Boys Like Girls.
There was an artist named Maria who sang a song called "My Favorite Things". She mentioned raindrops on roses, crisp apple strudels, and snowflakes that rested on noses and eyelashes. She said when the bee stings, she'd remember those things.
So, when Neji broke up with me, I remembered how it felt to drive in a car, with the windows down, and the wind blowing through my hair and onto my face. Then, I went to my car – and (duh) I rolled down the windows, and I sped off. I had three hundred dollars hidden in my room, I could afford a police ticket. Right now, I just didn't care.
Today was the last day of school. June 16th. Today was also the first day of summer. I would never forget today – not because Neji had meant so much to me, even though I did spend most of my Junior year secretly liking him, but because the second he said it (I think we should stop seeing each other), I realized how naïve of a girl I was. How stupid was I?
Whatever. He was the bee sting, and I would watch the raindrop on the rose. I drove a Dodge Stratus 2001, and it was a plain red. It was simple, and its gas mileage was okay – I liked it.
I blasted music, good ol' Paramore, as I left the school parking only focusing on how wind tossed my hair was, and not how terrible this summer was going to be now. Lalala – I felt a vibration in my left pocket, and sighed. It hadn't even been five minutes, and I wasn't yet on the highway. I wanted to speed, but this would be slowing me down. I grabbed the phone, and answered it anyway.
"Hello?"
"Hey Tenten! Are you still coming over?"
"Neji broke up with me, Sakura."
I figure I might as well put it blunt. She was going to find out, and I really didn't want it to be through someone else.
"What?" she gasped. Trust me; I didn't see it coming either.
"We're going to stop seeing each other, y'know?" I said calmly.
Alright, so I was bullshitting myself. I thought I wanted to run away for the night, when in fact, I wanted to run straight to Sakura and cry. I felt the tears coming now.
"God damn. Okay, come over please. I'll tell Naruto and Sasuke we're busy with other stuff," she proposed.
"I don't care if they're there," I told her.
Naruto was her boyfriend of a week, and immediately they hit it off. They had been best friends beforehand; it was only a matter of time kind of thing. Sasuke was just another member of our little group. I was good friends with both of them, but I had been good friends with Neji once, too.
"But I do," she said firmly. I didn't know what to say – she always knew me better then I knew myself.
"I'm on my way now," I sighed.
"Alright. I'll get ice cream out," she declared. I smiled a little.
"Oh, I'm fine – I don't need the hardcore mourning shit," I teased.
"Well, I want it anyway; just get over here, okay? Hopefully I'll get there before you, but you know where the key is if I you beat me there."
"Yep."
"Alright, I love you Tenten."
"I know, thanks Sakura," I said. I hung up. I was crying, and I didn't want her to hear it. Not yet, not over the phone, not where I wanted to see her its-going-to-be-okay face but couldn't.
-
-
Technically, ice cream didn't do squat for a heart break. Not that my heart had been broken, really. I liked Neji a lot – I had since Christmas break, and now it was June. Neji found out from Naruto, who found out from a note between Sakura and me. Then he asked me out. That was April 30th. I don't know why he broke up with me. I had it in my head that this summer was going to be great, that we'd really get to see each other starting now. During the school year, he wasn't really allowed out much. His Uncle was strict, pressuring him to get the best grades, to do the best on the basketball team. I thought it'd be all good once today started. I was totally wrong.
Anyway, I suppose it was a mind-over-matter kind of thing, and I had my mind set on the fact that this chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream was going to make all my pains going away. And it was doing a pretty okay job.
"What're you feeling?" Sakura asked.
It was a weird question, just awkward. But sitting on her bed – no, not with a tissue box, that would have been too cliché – holding the spoon wearily, mouth still numb from the frozen treat, I just thought about it, and answered.
"It's like there's a pit in my stomach. And it keeps making me think of all the good times. But mostly, everything I thought would come. How I thought it'd start to get better, easier, and more fun. And knowing now that everything I thought would start to happen… won't."
The ice cream was helping with the stomach part. I used to get butterflies around Neji, before we went out. It sounds so dumb, but it really is this feeling in your stomach where you like a guy and you get all anxious and excited. It's kind of the same thing with this. Just, instead of excitement, disappointment. So much of it.
"If I quote anything cheesy, will it help?" she tried.
"No, you're already helping. I just want to forget about it all. I don't even want to know why," I mumbled. Why what? Why he said it (Tenten, can we talk?), I didn't care. I really didn't.
"Yeah you do… and I'm going to find out," she said squarely.
"Remember watching CSI last Friday, and we were talking about the dead guy's wife. Like, how could she not care if the killer was caught or not?" I brought up. Sakura nodded.
"It's like that. I understand now. I'd rather not dwell on it; I'd rather just get over it. But how am I going to get over it, if I'm waiting for answers that won't change anything, anyway?"
"It's called closure," Sakura whispered, taking a bite of her ice cream.
"I don't want closure. I want escape."
-
-
"Sakura called, she's busy tonight," Naruto told Sasuke, confusion on his voice.
"Doing what?" Sasuke asked, stopping at the red light.
"I don't know. I guess something came up; she was pretty vague about it. I texted Ten asking if she wants to go to your house instead, but she didn't reply," the blonde said, shrugging.
Sasuke recalled passing Neji and Tenten after school, talking at the lockers. Neji looked reluctant, and she looked void of all emotion. He sighed – he was smart enough to figure it out.
"I think she had stuff to take care of," Sasuke said.
"What stuff?"
"Stuff. Head back to my house?" Sasuke already knew the answer though, and he made a U-turn. What a great way to start summer-oh-eight.
-
-
Two Weeks Later.
You'd be surprised at how easy it is to avoid everyone during the summer. Limited time on the computer, hardly answering the phone, and not going out except with parents to places like Wal-Mart and Outback – it's a perfect way to stay under the radar. Until of course, you get sick of reading and writing.
Which, is what happened. I talked to Sakura, occasional check-up phone calls. She said she missed me, that she was hanging with Naruto a lot, wasn't really doing much else, etc. Sasuke texted once or twice, probably just when he was bored. By now, I knew that everyone else knew. Neji was apart of our group. Were they still hanging out with him, instead of me? I didn't want to ask Sakura. Sure as hell wasn't going to ask Sasuke. And I didn't talk to Naruto much, he never really communicated well with things like phones, or online. He was an in-person kind of guy.
I think I was jealous. Which, is ridiculous right? But them having fun without me, and with him instead, it kind of irked me. I decided to call Sasuke.
"Yo," he picked up.
"Hey, where are you?"
"At Neji's," he replied.
See, this is why I like Sasuke. He's too fucking honest.
"Okay. Where are you going tonight?" I asked, completely unfazed. The thing is, I wasn't fazed. I figured he would be, and I didn't care. Was I moving on?
"Naruto's, with Sakura. You gonna go?"
"I think so. What time are you going?" I asked.
I'd be fine without him, I thought. But, something inside me was saying that I needed him there. He was strong, and never broke down – I needed to see that stability.
"Seven," he answered. That was an hour away.
"Alright, see yah later?" I didn't mean for it to sound like a question.
"Kay. Bye," he said. I think he waited for me to hang up first, so I did.
I threw the phone on my bed, and went over to my closet. When Sakura and I first started hanging out with Naruto, at the beginning of this year, we (of course, being girls) cared about how we looked. I only wore my good jeans, and picked my best shirts. After awhile though, I'd wear my jeans that had the mustard stain on the ass, or a shirt that made me look twenty pounds more then I was.
Tonight though, I found the tightest pair of skinny jeans I owned, and the new tank top my mom got me. I was dressing up, not that any of the guys would notice, instead of just heading there. What surprised me, but didn't infuriate me, was the appreciation I was feeling for Neji for making me feel like I had to start over.
-
-
I think I forgot to call Sakura to tell her I'd be at Naruto's. I didn't call him either. But, that didn't matter – it made it even more like old days. However, what wasn't like old days was the way that Naruto had opened the front door, and bear-hugged me as soon as he saw me. I was smiling at him, in the hug – taken aback at how much I needed this.
"You came just in time, we're about to walk to Candelhood. Maybe twenty minutes or so," he said.
Candelhood was the plaza a few streets away from him. It had the local supermarket, Wendy's, a Quiznos, and good areas for skateboarding.
"Oh okay, for food?" I asked. I hadn't eaten before I came, I was kind of hungry.
"Yep," he said, and we started walking back towards his room. I kept my shoes on, since he said we were leaving soon.
"Hey Tenten," Sakura said, as soon as I walked in.
She didn't look surprised, I wondered if Sasuke texted her. I really hope he hadn't – I'm sure they talked about Neji and I when I wasn't around, I wanted that to stop, not to have a reminder that it happened.
"Hey," I smiled. Everything felt like home.
She was sitting at the computer, but got up for Naruto take the seat. Then she slid into his lap, surprising me a little. Sasuke was on Naruto's bed, eyes glued to the Xbox – Halo 3, no doubt. I went over and sat next to him.
"Still playing this thing?" I asked.
"Yeah – of course," he replied.
His voice was smooth, lacking most emotion, just like always. Hearing it felt like home, too. I watched him, well, actually Master Chief, for the next ten minutes, until I decided to ask him what I'm sure he was waiting for me to ask.
"Neji didn't come?"
"He didn't want to," he answered.
Okay, so I smiled. Actually, I laughed a little. I didn't know if he didn't want to come because I was here, but it was strangely nice feeling if it was.
Sasuke shot me a look, but then smirked. Not to compare everything to Myspace of all things, but Sasuke's top (friends) was simple – Itachi, Naruto, Shikamaru, Neij, me, Sakura, and then Kakashi. I knew Neji was before me, but I was still fifth, and I hoped that maybe that counted for something – like, that even if Neji was a better friend, I was still a good one.
"What's new?" I asked.
I was facing with the facts here; I disappeared for two weeks, and Sasuke's life wasn't the simple kind. Everything that happened to happened in big waves, not little ones. I hoped I hadn't missed anything extreme – all though, I suppose Sakura would have informed me if I had. I wanted to hear it from him though.
"Nothing really." Alright, I was extremely relieved.
"Sorry for dropping off the face of the earth."
"I knew you'd be back." I faltered. How? Even I didn't….
"How was living under a rock?" he asked, sending me another smirk.
"Fine. I finished about sixteen books, and started almost four different stories."
"How many did you finish?" I was a speed-reader, as well as a speedwriter.
"…six," I admitted.
He knew that I wrote when I was nervous, anxious, or had any type of stomach-turning emotion. He rolled his eyes, but let it drop.
"Sai asked Ami out," he said, out of nowhere.
"Huh?" was my first, very unintelligent response.
He didn't say anything more – I guess he knew I had heard, and he wasn't one for repeating what he had just said. I knew from Naruto that Ami was a girl he was somewhat interested in. She was interested back; the whole school knew that.
"She said yes?" was all I could manage to say, for now at least. Sasuke and I had a listen, not advise, kind of friendship. If I was upset, I'd talk to him – vent, complain, rant, etc. If he was really mad, he'd do the same. Not that he'd really ever get that mad often. But, giving advice? None of us ever really did that.
"Yeah. I saw them at the movies," he said.
"Oh. You okay?" I asked, not sure if he'd admit it if he weren't. But then he did the funniest thing. He smiled.
"More then okay – look at the video in my phone."
I was shocked. Sasuke? Smile? Not the usual case scenario. Getting over it, I looked for his phone. It was on the other side of him, resting by his leg. Careful not to get in the TV, I reached behind him and grabbed it.
I knew his phone by heart, and easily found "My Videos". There was only one, so I hit play.
Ever seen something so disgusting, but amusing, that you can't take your eyes off of it? Well, that's what this video was. It was the back of the movie theatre, and pressed up against the wall were two kids. One was a girl, with long red hair. I knew that was Ami, so I figured the guy she was with was Sai. All though, he really looks like a girl – he's too fragile and delicate looking.
Anyway. They weren't just making out or anything, they were full on his-hands-were-up-her-shirt-ing. I tried stifling a laugh, and put a hand over my mouth. Ami was groaning, throwing her head back too dramatically, while he kissed her neck, way too roughly. It was so awkward, and so hilarious.
"Oh my god, you filmed this?" I said, still laughing, watching the end of the video.
"Yep." I could hear the laugh hidden in his voice.
"Woah. This is amazing. And disgusting, but that's beside the point. And, you just, don't like her anymore?"
"I was giving her a thought, not sure if I ever did," he shrugged.
"And after seeing that…?"
"I decided she might not be my type," he concluded. I grinned, and laughed a little more.
"That just made my week."
"I figured you needed it," he said.
"No," I breezed off. "I'm fine. I had two weeks of realizing he was just wasting my time, and now I'm at a new beginning. It feels good; refreshing."
It hit me at that moment that I meant everything I had just said. I never really could lie to Sasuke, anyway. I smiled, trying to look as reassuring as I felt. I think he knew it was the truth, though.
He nodded, and said, "Hungry?"
"Yeah," I admitted.
"Wendy's or Quizno's?"
I gave him a look – when did I ever not eat Wendy's. He smirked.
"Good to know nothing's changed."
-
-
Sakura and Sasuke got Quizno's, as usual, and then met Naruto and me at Wendy's. Sakura sat across from me and Sasuke next to me. He stole one of my fries, which I returned with a mild glare. He shrugged it off.
"They raised the price of the chicken fries by ten cents," Naruto announced, frowning.
"What prices aren't going up these days?" Sakura said, dismissively.
"Ramen noodles!" he said, a little too proudly. I smiled, but the other two rolled their eyes.
"That's because they don't realize if they raised the price by two hundred percent, you'd still buy it," Sakura told him, nudging into him. Damn, they look like they've been together forever.
"Of course," Naruto agreed, taking a large bite of his burger.
Sasuke was eating quietly, as expected. He ate abnormally fast, and was already almost one the first half of his sandwich. I pushed my fries toward him – he raised an eyebrow.
"I won't eat them; you might as well take 'em."
"No, you're just trying to make me fat," he accused, pushing them back.
He could act like a little kid sometimes, but pull it off as completely mature. Only him.
"You already are," I retorted, even though he seriously wasn't. The kid even had a hard-as-rock six pack.
"Bitch," he hissed, sending me a glare – his were killer, really. Fucking scary if he wanted to be. But I knew we were just messing around. I laughed a little, and pushed the fries to him, again. He glanced at me. I raised an eyebrow, daring him to send them back – he didn't.
Sakura and Naruto were in the middle of heavy conversation, and I didn't care to really join in. I took another bite of my bacon-cheeseburger, and thought. Everything was the same, yet everything was different. Neji should have been here, and maybe Shikamaru if he decided to actually leave the house. Naruto and Sakura wouldn't of been in such enthrall with each other. I wouldn't be talking to Sasuke this much.
But that's the thing. He wasn't here, and neither was Shikamaru. Naruto and Sasuke were enthralled with each other, and I was talking to Sasuke. It felt as familiar as it always had before, maybe even better. I wasn't trying to get Neji's attention; I wasn't trying to be the one he noticed. I was just there, and was already being noticed. Not having to try so hard felt really good. Much more comfortable.
I looked over at Sasuke, and I guess I smiled. He turned to me, and raised an eyebrow – I was probably creeping him out. I shrugged, and turned back to my burger. Mm, bacon is good. So is tonight. I'm glad I decided to go out.
-
-
"They look so at ease," I whispered to Sasuke.
Sakura and Naruto were holding hands, walking ahead of us. It was dark out, with the occasional street light, and we were walking to Candelhood park – like we must have done a thousand times before.
"They've gotten closer," he agreed.
Neji and I were never like that. It wasn't easygoing, or simple. Everything was complicated and usually awkward. It wasn't worth what it had been worth. I smiled again, and hit Sasuke's arm. "Race you to the park?"
It had just come in view, and from what I could tell, no one was there. Well, it was after dusk, so technically it'd be illegally trespassing if we went. Let's face it – it had never stopped us before, and it never would.
He didn't answer, he just took off.
"Cheater," I hissed, and ran after him. I jetted past the couple, who I heard laughing.
"Tenten's going to kick your ass!" Naruto called, to Sasuke.
I smirked, almost catching up to him, running as fast as I could – I sucked at running, but hey, you never know. Well, Sasuke wasn't the type to go easy on a girl; he reached the swings three feet before I did, and had barely worked a sweat. Me, on the other hand, was feeling a little sweaty, and breathing sharply.
"I win?" he mused.
"Yeah, 'cause you cheated," I accused.
"Just because you didn't say go, doesn't mean I cheated," he argued, and we both sat down on a swing.
"…" I decided on giving him a spiteful look, instead of coming up with a shitty retort. Sadly, he looked satisfied.
I pushed off, as did he, and worked up to a high swing. I saw Sakura and Naruto finally get here, but they went over to the mini-rock climbing like thing.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked him, after a few moments.
"Yeah," he said.
"Why'd you break up with Karin?"
It had been four months ago, but I still never asked why. I guess all this new relationship shit was starting to reawaken old questions.
"I started liking someone else," he answered.
"Who?" I probably shouldn't have asked. But, it had been four months ago, right?
"You." Okay, I don't think I heard that right.
"What?" I probably shouldn't of asked that either.
"What's next? When, where, and why?" he asked sarcastically. I scowled.
"No, how about just 'for how long?'" I replied, snippily.
I don't think it had sunk in yet. Sasuke had liked me? That's like … I don't know. Impossible, really.
"I don't know," he answered. I think this might have been the first time he lied to me. It was so obvious.
"When did you stop?" I asked, quieter. Not being prissy about it.
"I didn't," he sighed.
Okay, okay, okay. Fuck – what? My mind was racing. I didn't know what to say.
"Neji broke up with you 'cause he knew I liked you. More then he thought he did."
I felt sick. My swing was starting to slow down, so was Sasuke's. If I thought I didn't know what to say before, then I sure as hell didn't know now.
"Sorry." He meant it – I could tell. There was actually something other then monotone on his voice. God knows what, but it wasn't monotone.
"I…Oh." There were so many words and so many questions in my head. Why couldn't I say anything?
"Yeah. I'm going to go, work tomorrow at eight," he said, and then hopped off the swing, and left.
My swing had stalled, until it finally stopped. I watched him walk away, until I couldn't see him anymore. And then I cried.
-
-
"Are you mad at him?"
"No, of course not."
"Do you like him?"
"…"
"I think you should talk to him."
-
-
Ding Dong. I was standing outside of Sasuke's door, in my dad's too-long tee shirt and pajama shorts. I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid. It's ten after fucking midnight when I finally get the courage to come here? I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid.
A minute passed, when I sighed, and turned around – half relieved, half disappointed. I was half way down the path, when I heard the door open, and the outside light clicked on. I took a deep breath, and turned around.
Sasuke - in boxers and a white undershirt, his hair a total and complete mess. He looked adorable…and really tired. Slowly, I walked back up to the door. His facial expression was blank, which I had figured along time ago, still meant he was thinking and feeling.
"Is everything alright?" he asked, inadvertently. He probably thought my house burnt down or something.
"No," I answered.
Like most of the time, I thought I was fine, but when he asked, the truth came out. I didn't know what I was doing, but it felt right – I took the step, wrapped my arms around his neck, and shrugged my head into the crook of his neck. Yeah, it felt right.
He was stiff at first, probably surprised. But then I felt his arms wrap around my back, and his hands holding onto me. I squeezed him tighter; I don't think I ever want to let go.
"How about now?" he whispered, into my hair – which, now that I think about it, was probably a mess too.
"Better. A lot better. If you forgive me? Oh, god Sasuke I'm sorry," I mumbled.
Sasuke had been the one I could always talk to. The one I told things to. All these months, when I had been trying to get Neji's attention, Sasuke had been the one who was there for me – who told me that he'd come around one day, who told me it'd end up alright, who told me to get the fuck over myself whenever I was being stupid. How had I never noticed he was the one who was actually there for me?
"You don't have to apologize for anything," he scowled, and I looked up at him.
"I don't know what to say," I confessed. What would happen? What could happen?
"Then don't say anything," he mumbled, and he closed the distance between us, until his lips were on mine. I closed my eyes, and kissed him back. I don't think I'll ever let him go.
this was my first time doing first person point of view - please, review with constructive criticism?
title credit goes to my best friend, who randomly came up with it. I liked it?
don't forget to go up and reread the lyrics.(;