Summary: Catherine comes home from the hospital with someone and then receives a call from someone else. She's in between them; set after 9x22.
Pairings:Ray/Catherine, Grillows.
Though I love Grillows, watching these episodes near the end of season 9 I thought there could be something between Ray and Catherine. And you know why? Because he's similar to Grissom. Full stop.
Please let me know what you think about that; if this works. I thought I could write some other chapters, but I want to finish "Do Me A Favor" before.
Enjoy,
A fool
IN BETWEEN
"It's that one" Catherine said, pointing her house with a finger.
Ray slowed the car down and they stopped a few meters from her door. She lowered her eyes and smiled, embarrassed, uncertain about what to say. Then she realized that thanking him was the least she could do.
"Thank you for the lift, Ray. You didn't … you didn't have to take me home, it was very kind of you. So, thank you"
She smiled shyly to him and he nodded at the bandages that were wrapped around her wrists.
"Does it hurt?"
"Not that much. I can't stand it."
She shut up and turned the head, gave a look to the (poor) landscape and then her eyes returned to him. He smiled again and she suddenly thought it was so funny to just stay there like two children, like her daughter probably did, nodding and glancing and smiling stupidly. You idiot, she snapped to herself.
"I would invite you inside, but …"
"No, no don't mind, it's late and I'm sure you're tired, don't mind, really"
"Okay, so …" she began, while her fingers started slipping on the lock "thank you again, I"
"Catherine?"
"Yes?"
She turned and, before she could say a word, of protest or whatever, he leant over her and kissed her. It was a soft kiss, on the lips. It was innocent, but she felt something. His head went backwards and he examined her eyes with a fearful look. When he realized all that she felt was surprise, he kissed her again. Eyes closed shut, they deepened the kiss. Her hand flew she didn't know how to his neck, his tongue slid into her mouth. Suddenly she felt relieved, suddenly she felt she could think of nothing but a man, a sweet, polite and clever man that didn't shout at her, cheat on her, provoke her. And her heart was relaxed. Her soul was breathing a male flavor: she felt a woman again.
But.
Something went wrong. Though they were kissing passionately and her breaths were becoming heavy to carry, as they were more and more involved, his face was substituted but another one. It was a flash. But it did happen: she confused the man she was kissing with a man that belonged to her memories. Her lips hesitated, he became a stranger and she was the cheater. Until she broke the kiss and separated their mouths with an hand.
"I'm sorry" she murmured "we can't … I'm your supervisor, Ray, and I'm …"
She got stuck, because she'd caught his expression. He felt guilty.
"We can't" she stated.
Even though she needed it. Even though she desperately needed a man in her house, in her bed, in her arms. She needed heat, she needed smiles, she needed someone's body close to hers. And he was ready to give her all this: she knew it.
But she really couldn't. She got off the car and almost ran to her door. She fumbled with her single hand minutes and minutes in her bag to find the keys, and he had already gone. Still, her lips were damp. Still, she felt warm on her face, where she had blushed and his breath had touched her skin. Finally she got inside and turned the lights on.
Catherine slammed the door and decided to have a shower. She wore a sweater and a pair of comfortable trousers. Then she threw herself on the couch with one of Lindsay's blankets because, although it wasn't cold enough, for once she wanted to be the one overprotected. She was sipping coffee when the phone rang. Her face turned slowly to gaze at the telephone, scared at the utmost.
What if it was Ray? What could she say? Maybe he wanted to apologize. Or maybe it was Lindsay, who needed her. Her mother instinct won and she picked it up.
"Hello" she muttered.
"Cath?"
Still Catherine Willows thanks God that night her hand didn't let the cup full of coffee fall on the sofa, or it would have been brown now.
"Gil?" she asked.
She put the cup on the coffee table and huddled up, hiding the feet under the blanket.
"I guess so" he joked.
"Gil, what a … what a surprise, you haven't called me since … what happened?"
She was even worried now. That was so typical of them. Being so excited about each other and then suddenly let the subject fall, change it into something stupid.
"You tell me. What happened Cath?"
Catherine frowned.
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the bite. How are you?"
Catherine smiled weakly. The image of her living room became watery; she felt something moving inside her breast. She bit her lips before answering.
"I'm … fine, very fine thanks. How did you know?"
"Ray told me."
Catherine gulped.
"You call each other?"
"Sometimes. I want to know if he's okay at the lab"
In her mind, she saw his face smile.
"That's so nice of you. But you could call your old creepy friend as well, couldn't you?"
"I'm doing that now."
"Yep" she admitted "and it's so kind of you."
Her eyes flew over her furniture, still she was on the verge of bursting into tears.
"How's … how's Sara?"
"She's fine. She's out now. Everything okay, Cath?"
Not if you keep on calling me like that, she thought. Memories were crawling towards her, flashbacks were played into her mind. She shook her head firmly.
"Sure" she lied.
"I mean really. You sound strange. Does your wrist hurt? How are the-"
"Ray kissed me" she blurted out.
She hadn't been able to shut up. The sentence had just come out from her; hearing his deep, offended silence, she felt panic smothering her. She closed her eyes.
"Gil?"
"How … when … why are you telling me?"
"Because I don't know what to do! Before, in the car. I don't know how, Gil, you don't know how people kiss you, they just do that."
He swallowed.
"And what did you do?"
"I kissed back" she whispered.
But then your face appeared in my mind and I broke it, she concluded in her mind. With a little difference: this time her mouth was closed.
"Uh"
"Look, Gil, just pretend you didn't hear a-"
"Do you like him?"
"I won't talk to you about this. It's not something we'd … we'd do. Come to visit us, okay? And forget what I told you"
"Catherine … you're a woman. And we're friends. I suppose it's normal to talk about things like that"
"No, it isn't, not for us at least. And we're still us. Just come to Vegas, when you have a couple of days free."
"I got it. I'll try to. 'Night, Cath"
"Good night. Thank you for calling me. It made me feel better" she said softly.
And, again, she imagined him smiling. The call broke and Catherine put the telephone at his place. She stared at her flat; there she was, again. With a daughter who had now her own life, no friends to chat with and no man. She huddled up under the blanket, shivering.
She was in between them.
Alone.