So, I think the notion of light and dark walking a razors edge is a very interesting and very poorly explored idea in the Forsaken DLC. It's more of a hammer to the head. With that in mind, I'm going to kind of expand on it.
With that said, here is your spoiler warning. THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE. This story is basically one giant spoiler.
TO BE CLEAR: Spoilers, friends. I've got them. If you want to avoid them, stop here. Otherwise, happy reading!
xx The Crane Wife.
/
Each night, The Guardian sees this when she tries to sleep:
Cayde's glowing blue eyes, staring up indignantly at Uldren, saying something justifiably shitty, knowing that the end is coming. The Guardian is always running down the same long hallway. She can see Cayde. She can see Uldren. And if she runs just a bit faster, she can get there and she can stop this whole thing from happening.
Uldren's eyes, orange and burning, disappear for a moment, a blink, and then he holds the gun, Cayde's gun, near Cayde's processor. The Guardian is running as fast as she can now, she's almost at the end, although somehow, she feels like she's back at the beginning. Why aren't they getting closer? Why can't she reach them? "Cayde!" she yells, but no one turns, no one hears her, "Cayde, I'm coming! Hold on, I'm coming!"
And then:
A single piercing gunshot.
"No!" she screams, "No! No, no, no!" she's running and running and can't seem to hit the end of this hallway and this seems wrong, this shouldn't have happened this way and why, why can't she just get to the end, "Cayde!"
\
"Guardian?"
Ghost.
Her eyes open and she peers around. Ah, shit.
"Guardian, are you all right?"
All of their gear is around them. Which, admittedly, isn't much. Her sparrow is parked beside her, in case they need to make a quick getaway. Some food she doesn't much feel like eating. Filtered water. There's a fire that's all but burnt out, glowing orange and red embers that send a shiver up her spine. Uldren.
The Tangled Shore is nothing like home, although if she's being honest, she's not even sure what constitutes home now. She's spent so much time wandering through the galaxy and she's never been good at sitting still for too long. "Guardian?" Ghost says again and at this prompt, she nods, finally making eye contact with her companion, who she can tell is looking her up and down. Somehow, for a robot, he's excellent at conveying his ongoing skepticism of her.
"That dream again?" he asks tentatively.
There's a pause, a long one, before the Guardian says, "Yes."
"We don't have to do this you know," Ghost starts (for the millionth time) and she doesn't even entertain it anymore. She lays back down, rolls over, and closes her eyes like she has any chance of going back to sleep tonight. Ghost sighs and she suddenly feels his weight in her hands. They're taking no chances these days, not after what happened to Sundance.
/
The truth is, her relationship with Cayde was complicated at best. And this is what weighs on her most, what she's been unable to shake in the last 48 hours. An unmistakable feeling of regret. And guilt. Why had she let him go alone down there? Why wasn't she faster? And what makes her think she could have stopped him anyway?
\
He stops at her residence, once. Late. Too late for a Vanguard to be at their protégé's home. In thinking about it, she realizes it was about a month before he went to the Tangled Shore. At the very least, at that time, going to the Tangled Shore was an idea that he had/was mulling over/decided on.
So Cayde comes by and is cool and calm, leaning against the doorframe. "How's my favorite guardian?" he asks, so nonchalant, like he's not planning for his own death and she's not wise to any of this. He just is, as usual.
Conversely, she's awkward. Doesn't say anything at first, but then he takes the lead for her, says, "Are you going to invite me in or what?" prompting her to step aside. She's so taken aback by this whole thing, she peeks her head out into the hallway, like he's being put up to this somehow or she's being pranked or something. There's no one else there, so she steps back inside and sees Cayde has made himself comfortable on the couch, waiting for her to return.
The Guardian clears her throat and says, "Can I get you anything?" before realizing that anything is too broad and she might not have much to offer at all, given how little time she spends here.
"So you do talk!" he teases her, before adding, "Do you have anything to drink?"
She's rummaging through the few cabinets she has and finds, to her own surprise, a bottle of vodka, which she holds up to his approval. She grabs a couple of glasses and some ice from the freezer and pours them each a glass. She turns her back to him and downs her own before filling it again.
In her head, Ghost almost mockingly says, "Why are you so nervous?" and in response, she mutters, "Ghost, enter sleep mode and perform scheduled system maintenance, please."
She turns just in time to see Ghost's glowing eye get dim and turn a bright green color, an indicator that he is indeed asleep and updating his system. What this really means is, once Cayde is gone, she'll have a very, very rare moment of solitude.
With a forced smile, she hands over the glass to him, before sitting on the very edge of the couch, as far away from her guest as possible.
"I don't bite, you know," Cayde says, tilting his head. She sighs, nearly annoyed sounding, settling a bit more comfortably into the cushions.
"Do you… need something?" she finally says.
Cayde takes a drink and then points at her, almost excitedly, "You know. It's funny you should mention it. I have a proposition for you."
/
She almost hates this memory now, because it's so clear, so crystal clear that he knew he would die here. He knew that this mission would be the last one he ever completed.
Or wouldn't complete, as it were.
\
"We don't have to do this, you know."
Another lengthy pause, before the Guardian says, "Yes. We do."