Disclaimer: I don't own any of Square's characters, places, concepts etc. I own Dannivel, Abbie and a smattering of other original characters, but the world in which they live in very much belongs to Square.

Full Summary: Dannivel and his lover Abbie have been through a lot together. From SeeD exams to the butt end of a war, they've remained side by side. As duties begin to take up time, Abbie and 'Danni' begin to realize that keeping their relationship hidden isn't as easy as it had been before, and even the simple comforts that most relationships have, like holding hands, they find themselves sorely missing. Through frustration, will they finally, after years of hiding, bring their relationship out into the open? Or will the constant oppression break them apart?

Chapter One

I hate cleanups. With reason, I mean, it is possibly one of the most boring jobs given out. The funny thing is, I wasn't even doing the cleanup this time, just observing it. For the first time in my life, I actually wished I were down on the field running around and looking in nooks and crannies with the rest of them.

Most knew that I get irritable when bored, and wisely stayed out of my way. There were a few blunders, however, what with some of the new rookies and such. It was the usual, the same out of line comments or an unneeded report. The way I see it, if I don't need a report, don't make one. Obviously their instructors forgot to mention that every SeeD has their own little idiosyncrasies.

Besides the obvious frustrations the day was actually quite pleasant. There was a soft breeze coming from the east, the sun set comfortably in the west, and the clouds were a brilliant, vibrant pink. I heard my name being called and turned to face whoever was calling, making no move towards them or even acknowledging them except to fix a dark stare. Quistis Trepe strode through the sand and up the stairs to stand in front of me, looking up at my face.

"You look bored," She remarked. At my blank stare she let out a laugh and continued on. "Come, I'll get you something to do."

"I don't need a trivial job. Unless it's something extremely useful to do, I'd rather stay right here." I replied, leaning against the wall to prove that I was being truthful in my words.

Quistis sighed and put her hands on her hips. "You are absolutely incorrigible. I come to give you something to do because you're very obviously bored, but you and your pride would rather stay here and watch this tedious display of new cadets run around a deserted corner of town peeking though..."

"Point taken," I said, cutting her off. Quistis smiled smugly and crossed her arms across her breast. "Now what did you want me to do?"

Kicking a pebble across the stones, Quistis pointed down the beach to where a group of cadets squatted, talking amongst themselves. "They're assigned to the mountain, but the way's blocked. Since you're not interested in doing something, I won't bother to tell you that there's a group of soldiers responsible for the blockage."

"The soldiers are nothing," I complained.

"No," Quistis clarified. "They're better than nothing. If you don't go to those cadets and, ahem, 'escort' them up the mountain you'll be stuck here to watch the rest of the cleanup, which I am willing to do for you if you go."

I sighed, "Fine..." and then set off down the beach to where the cadets were. Several looked up when I approached, but many kept their eyes trained on the sad sketch in the sand of some sort of battle plan. I stood for a moment, waiting for them to notice me, and when no acknowledgement came, I cleared my throat. "Perhaps you'd all like to fail for not getting to your post?"

At the sound of my voice, the cadets started, jumping up to their feet and saluting smartly. One of them stammered out, "There's a group of soldiers on the mountain, Sir. We can't pass."

He was about to say more, but I held up a hand to silence him. "I am well aware of the situation, cadet. Do you think I'm here to make small talk?"

"N-no, Sir."

"Good. Now, I'm here to escort you up to your post. What's this in the sand here, cadet?" The one who had originally spoken was about to speak, and once more I cut him off. "I was not asking you. My eyes were trained on this young lady here when I addressed her, not you. Keep your lips closed. Now, as I was, what's this here in the sand?"

The girl I'd addressed was blushing, possibly at the idea of being called a lady even though her knees were scuffed and her uniform was covered in sand. The silly girl had been kneeling to draw, and in the process gotten her uniform filthy. "It's a plan of action, Sir." She explained. "We weren't expecting help, so we were planning on a way to get around the soldiers to our post."

"You realize that the purpose of the mission is to secure the area, not to simply get to where you are assigned." I erased the sketch with a sweep of my boot. "Besides, you no longer need a stealth plan. Are you all equipped?" The cadets nodded. "Then let's go. Wouldn't want you to lose points by wasting time."

I nodded approvingly as the cadets sprung to action, and I set off up the steps, not bothering to make sure they were keeping time. I hoped they'd fall behind and let me fight alone, but no such luck. Even though they had to jog to keep up, the cadets stayed close behind.

Halfway up the hill, I motioned for the cadets to duck down behind a boulder. It was the last cover for at least another one hundred feet, and I figured we might as well make use of it before slipping into the open. This way, I could scope out the numbers of the soldiers up ahead with relative safety to the cadets.

The cadets squatted behind the boulder, chattering amongst themselves with excitement at a real battle. I peered up the mountain at the group, making a rough count of the bodies. There were about a dozen, but there would be no problem at all. If the cadets could take half, I could get the rest.

"Cadets," I said, smirking internally at how responsive they were, immediately standing to attention and all ears. "For about a hundred feet there is absolutely no cover whatsoever. The nearest cover is that copse of trees over there—see it?" I pointed and the cadets looked, nodded and waited for me to continue. "Try not to draw attention on the way over, but if you do catch the eye of one of the soldiers, run fast." I smirked. "I don't really need to be held back treating a gun wound."

"Sir?" One of the cadets asked, toeing the ground. "What do we do once we get to the trees?"

I sighed and leaned against the boulder as though having five cadets under my care who constantly asked questions was the most frustrating thing in the world. Which it was. "Give me a chance to speak, cadet, and I'll tell you."

The sun had almost completely set, and I could still hear the water lapping at the shore. "Once you get to the copse, we're going to regroup as quickly as possible and then attack. Since they'll most likely see us making a run for the trees, it's best to attack them straight away instead of waiting for them to find us."

"So, we just run there, Sir, make sure everyone makes it and then attack?"

I nodded. "That's exactly it, cadet."

The cadets all lightened themselves up and stretched, preparing for the run that I was about to signal. It was annoying that they took so long. I don't remember ever taking so long to prepare. "All ready?" I asked.

"Yes, Sir!"

"Alright... go!" At my command, the cadets set off to the copse at a sprint. The entire urgency of the situation to the cadets made me laugh, watching them run as fast as they humanly could to the copse. I knew that there was no chance of them being seen as long as they were quiet. I arrived a good thirty seconds after them, having strode across the stretch rather than run. "What are you waiting for?" I asked, cracking my knuckles. "Did I not tell you to attack them as soon as you regrouped?"

The cadets all produced their weapons and saluted. I jerked my head towards the soldiers who were gathered just around the bend. To them this was a critical part in their exam. To me it was just another battle to end a very long and boring day.

As soon as we got around the bend, it was to prove to be an incredibly boring battle as well. Just as I suspected, the soldiers hadn't seen us sprint for the copse, and they had certainly thought they were clever to hide on the mountain to call for reinforcements. The cadets spread out, each one putting their training to good use.

My fists collided with faces, and it was almost sickening to feel the bones breaking under my knuckles so easily. The familiar wave of nausea crept up and I was forced to swallow it down, swiveling around to face yet another soldier, whose nose shattered like cheap plastic under my fist. I brought my foot around, knowing with a fighter's sixth sense that there was indeed another one behind me. My foot connected with his jaw, and I followed through with all my weight. The soldier collapsed down, and I kneeled down, sending a punch to his gut. His eyes rolled around to stare at me, and disgusted, I grabbed his head in my hands and snapped his neck, not wanting to see his eyes or to have him to look at me.

The cadets finished the soldiers off with minimal difficulty, my sharp kicks or punches intervening whenever something got too much. In the end there were only a few scratches on the cadets from a stumble and a few bruises.

"Head on up to your post. Radio down if there's any trouble." I commanded. The cadets continued to jog up the mountain, leaving me standing among the dead bodies. I looked at the one whose neck I'd snapped and grimaced. His head lay at an awkward angle, but his eyes remained open. I clutched my stomach for a moment, staring back, and then lost control and vomited all over the bloodstained ground, retching violently.

As soon as I gained my composure, I set off back to the beach, walking slowly. I was glad that the day was over and the cadets were all at their posts. The cleanup was practically done, just doing one last sweep, and then we'd be off.

Quistis was waiting for me when I got back. She was seated on the steps, blocking my path. When I came up behind her, she turned her head and then motioned to the spot next to her. I sat down and leaned down with my head in between my knees.

"Are you all right?" Quistis asked. "You look awfully pale."

"It's nothing," I replied, taking a few shallow breaths. "I just lost it for a minute, that's all."

"What do you mean?" Quistis had obviously never 'lost it', and didn't know what I meant at all. How could she? She was what, sixteen, maybe seventeen?

"It's, just... nothing, really. You don't have to worry about it."

Quistis shifted to sit in front of me on a lower step so that she could look at my face. "Well now that you've said that, I'm obviously going to worry. Tell me what happened?"

I sighed and looked up at Quistis, her blue eyes eager and imploring. "Do you ever feel sorry for the people you hurt?" I asked.

Shaking her head in confusion, Quistis shifted uneasily. "N-no... what do you mean?"

"Never mind, Quistis. I'm gonna go wait in the vessel." Before Quistis could object, I set off down the beach to where the water vessels were parked. I climbed inside and sat down on one of the padded seats, rubbing my fingers into my eyes.

Crazy, crazy, boring day. It wasn't often I acted up like that after a battle, but every now and then...

I must have drifted off to sleep, because when I opened my eyes Quistis and some cadets were getting into the vessel. Sitting up, I smoothed out my hair, hoping I didn't appear to have just woken up.

"Well done, cadets." Quistis was saying. "There were no serious injuries whatsoever. Great teamwork." She looked at me. "Are you okay?"

Although I'd been shooting her looks, she obviously chose to ignore them and embarrass me in front of the cadets. "I'm fine, Instructor."

Quistis nodded and thankfully dropped it, sitting down and falling silent. The vessel started and began its shoot out to sea. "Abbie's on vessel two. He said to wait for him when we get to Balamb."

I looked over to Quistis, narrowing my eyes. "Why? Is vessel two running late?"

"A little," Quistis sighed. "I mean they were the last to get to their post, hence the last to get back. The vessel shouldn't be overly late. You have an appointment?"

"No, just curious." I replied. I hadn't seen Abbie since this morning when he left, grabbing his shirt off the floor and leaving, thinking I was still asleep. The seats on the vessel were comfortable, but I quickly grew impatient with the long trip. I was tempted to vocalize my complaints to Quistis, but I didn't dare around the cadets.

A cadet roused me from my reverie, first by misaddressing me, and then by tapping me on the arm. Instead of softly answering her question like she thought I would, I snapped open my eyes and said in a hushed snarl, "What did you call me, cadet?"

"D-Dannivel, Sir."

"What's wrong with calling me that?" Quistis made a noise next to me, though whether it was directed towards the cadet's insolence, or towards my pressing of the issue, I don't really know, or care, for that matter.

The cadet gulped. "It's... informal, Sir? I'm sorry, it won't happen again, Sir."

"Better not. Now what did you want?"

"Well, Sir, the exam is real, right?" I made an affirmative noise, and the cadet went on. "Have any of the cadets ever died during the field exam?" The question remained unanswered until she added, "Sir."

I thought about it for a moment, remembering my field exam, Abbie next to me in the shallow trench, our teeth gritted as we listened to our captain groan, a nasty gun wound in his leg; and then the bang, the sensations of blood spraying up over our backs and Abbie screeching, ducking under me. The radio signal was weak, but it was something. Captain dead. "A long time ago," I admitted. "But now the field exams are nowhere near as intense. The missions are looked at carefully before sending cadets in now."

Quistis nodded. "There's nothing to worry about, anyways. This mission was carried out to uniform perfection and there were barely any injuries. I'm sure you'll all be glad to get back to Garden and rest up a bit."

"How much longer?" A cadet asked, as restless as I was, though for different reasons.

Looking at the map on the screen, Quistis considered a moment. "I'd say about forty-five minutes. If you're getting sleepy I'll wake you up when we get there."