AN: This was inspired by a prompt along the lines of 'playing a super-competitive game of Monopoly'. All I could think was, Karigari and Sasagawa would be absolutely terrifying in such a scenario. They're crazy people to begin with. So I had to make it a reality. This isn't even shipping fic. Just Team Karigari fic, I guess.
Set post-movie, but there aren't any spoilers unless you haven't been paying attention to the ONA/toy releases.
Akira lugged the game box from the closet, the weight of it already a sign that things were not going to go well.
"Bro, do we really have to play?" He hoped the answer was no.
"Yeah, I guess so," Yusuke replied. "That's what Doctor wants, and you know he has all sorts of crazy whims."
"But the last time we played against him-"
"I know, I know," Yusuke interrupted. "But Miss wanted to play with him, so it's a lost cause. He likes her more than us."
"Well she won't like him after this," Akira said.
Yusuke shrugged.
"We'll just have to see."
"I didn't know you kept normal things like board games in here," Sasagawa said.
"Of course," Karigari replied. "Sometimes even I have boring days. I need simple pleasures to pass the time. Thinking up revenge schemes takes much trial and error, even for a genius like me. I have dry spells."
As overjoyed as Karigari was to have Sasagawa visiting him in his hideout, he was terribly flustered at the same time. He needed to come up with something they could do to keep him calm while he thought of a way to confess (though he probably wouldn't do that anyway). So playing a game of Monopoly it was. Now if only his two subordinates would hurry and return with it from the storage closet, he thought to himself.
"There they are!" Sasagawa said. She had an ominous glimmer in her eyes which was masked by her glasses. She was a very competitive person, just as Karigari himself was, and the thought of taking on a genius at a game that required some strategy really had her fired up.
"Good," said Karigari. "What took you so long?"
"S-sorry…" Akira replied, and put the box down on the table with a thud.
"Be careful! You don't want to break anything," Yusuke yelled.
"It's not broken," Akira replied, though he didn't really care if it was. "I didn't hear anything crack. Not even the table."
"Just take it out of the box!" Karigari ordered. He turned to Sasagawa. "I'm sorry this turned into such a production, Miss. Had I known those two couldn't carry out a small box without difficulty, I would have gotten it myself."
"I don't mind," Sasagawa replied. She reached over and pulled off the lid.
Sasagawa took note of some cards lying on top of the board, rather than being placed in the storage spots beneath.
"I apologize for the mess. You see, there are a few extra cards and lack of room to fit them, according to my subordinates who last put the game away," Karigari said. "I should mention, I did create some custom cards. I found the game a bit too dull as it was. However, all of them are designed to look identical to the cards produced for the original game. Even the paper stock is the same. You'll only know the difference when you draw them."
Sasagawa gave him a puzzled glance, but that seemed alright with her. She was actually quite curious as to what they said.
"You'll see when we get started," Yusuke said. He picked out the board, the heaviest piece, and placed it down. Aside from the mysterious black box that the board was now sitting on, the surface looked like any regular Monopoly board. Save for the railroads, which were covered over and were now steakhouses.
Sasagawa didn't even seem to notice that, as she was studying the silver pieces that could be chosen to play as.
"None of these are very cool," she said, sounding a bit disappointed. "I'll play as Cyclone then!"
She pulled out a figure of Cyclone Interceptor she'd brought with her in her bag, and placed it on the Go spot.
"That's way too big!" Akira exclaimed.
"But it's cool!" Sasagawa argued. "I want to play as a Drive Head!"
"If that's what you wish, Miss, then go ahead," said Karigari. He didn't seem to care at all. "I, too, have a custom game piece."
His was in a small box, estranged from the rest. Karigari opened it, only to reveal a tiny metallic replica of himself.
"None of the pieces represented my genius mind. I had no choice but to waste resources crafting my own."
"Let me see!" Sasagawa scooped it out of his hand and began to squint at it. Karigari was too stunned to be upset.
"It's pretty cool," she said. "But Cyclone Interceptor is cooler!" Sasagawa put it down next to her Cyclone figure.
"Okay, I call the dog!" Yusuke exclaimed.
"Not fair, Bro!" Akira yelled. "You got to be the dog last time."
"But the dog is the best piece. Er… real piece," he said.
Akira only whimpered at him.
"Oh alright, fine," said Yusuke, who put the dog down on the board. "I guess I'll play as the garbage can."
"That's a thimble," Sasagawa said.
"Really?" Yusuke turned it over. "Wait! What's a thimble?"
"It's for sewing," Sasagawa replied. "So you don't hurt your fingers." Not that she did much sewing herself, but she thought it was obvious.
"Oh," Yusuke said, though he was rather disappointed. "Well, it still looks like a garbage can to me. I'll use it anyway."
Some unusual character pieces aside, the game began as usual. Yusuke and Akira had collectively picked up a large amount of property. Sasagawa was able to score up Boardwalk and Park Place, as well as the steakhouses, much to Karigari's annoyance. Karigari actually only had a limited amount of property, and it was really cheap places near the beginning. He hadn't been having the best of luck, and none of his custom cards had come up yet. Perhaps they were near the bottom. He wouldn't put it past his subordinates to leave them there on purpose. If only he'd gotten to shuffle, he thought bitterly.
Now, it was Sasagawa's turn.
"Hmm…" she looked at the board cautiously before rolling the dice. Chances were, she would land on one of Akira or Yusuke's spots, and be forced to pay up.
"Somehow I'm going to win this!" she declared, and threw down the dice. For once, luck was on her side. She rolled a three, which would land her safely on a Community Chest space.
"Wait," Karigari said. He was cursing his luck even further, but knew that his opponent could only dodge the bullet for so long.
"Hm?" She was about to draw a card, but stopped herself with her hand still over it.
"You may not know Miss, but as my idiot subordinates should be aware, all property they own must ultimately be surrendered to me. After all, they are in my employment."
"But this is a game!" Sasagawa exclaimed.
"Yes," said Karigari. "But some things don't cease to be true only because we're playing a game. I appreciate that the two of you succeeded in earning me so much property."
"No way, Doctor! This is ours!" Yusuke argued.
"Can't you let us keep it for a little longer this time?" Akira asked. "It's impossible for you to lose with the cards you made anyway."
"You can hold the title cards if you like," replied Karigari. "But I get all the final profit."
More fired up than annoyed at how intense her opposition became, Sasagawa grabbed up her card.
"Huh?!" She was so shocked by the text that she ended up reading it out loud. "Your most expensive property has caught on fire. The only way to salvage it is to abdicate that property to the Number One Genius Scientist in the World Dr. Karigari."
"I'm sorry to say, but that means Boardwalk," Karigari replied, who didn't seem at all sorry. Rather, he looked far too smug.
"I won't give it up so easily!" Sasagawa declared. "Not when Team Drive Head can save the day!"
"What?!" Karigari could only watch in surprise as Sasagawa reached into her bag and pulled out yet another figure.
"Master Backdraft has arrived to put out the fire!" she declared. She picked up Cyclone Interceptor, and moved him on top of Park Place because the Boardwalk space had no room. "Cyclone Interceptor has also arrived, to help rescue everyone! Boardwalk is saved thanks to the great efforts of Team Drive Head!"
She looked delighted, as she placed the offending card back on the bottom of the pile.
"That's… not part of the game, is it?" Akira asked, looking at Yusuke.
"It's definitely cheating!" Yusuke replied, without a second thought.
"Even now, the Mobile Rescue Police try to get in my way," Karigari spoke. It wasn't actually his turn, but he picked up a card. "Interesting." His face turned to a smirk.
"What happened now?" Sasagawa asked.
"Dr. Karigari has cast a fog in front of you on the board. You won't be able to move until it clears."
A literal cloud of smoke emerged on the spaces where Sasagawa's Drive Heads were standing.
"What is this?!" she shouted, concerned. But the concern was short lived, as an idea struck her.
"Another Drive Head?!" Yusuke shouted.
"White Crystal Hope has arrived on the scene!" Sasagawa declared. "Using its Cyber Eye Unit, it can see through the fog, allowing for the Drive Heads to pass through."
She picked up the toys and moved them all onto the Go spot, or as much of the spot as she could fit them on.
"Now, I'll collect $200 for each Drive Head."
"That's not a real rule!" Akira yelled.
"Does it really matter?" Yusuke asked. "We don't own any real property anymore."
"Yeah, or money for that matter," said Akira.
"Who paid for all your SyoriSyori?" Karigari asked. "And gives you shelter? The answer is me. If you want things to remain that way, you'll do as I say."
"Yes, Doctor!" they both replied.
"Umm…" Sasagawa wanted to come out in defense of Akira and Yusuke. But she wasn't sure what she could really say. And of course, she still had a game to win. "It's my turn!" It wasn't.
She rolled the dice, and landed right on the first steakhouse, bypassing Karigari's property in the process.
"There aren't any disasters there, so I guess I can just move Cyclone Interceptor," she decided.
Karigari held up his finger.
"That's where you're wrong, Miss."
Karigari got up for a moment, to Sasagawa's confusion, and returned with a figure of his own, in the likeness of his custom Walker Vehicle.
"A foe has come to challenge Team Drive Head."
"Ahhh! That's so cool! I've never seen a toy of your Walker Vehicle before." Sasagawa stared at the figure in admiration. "Can I have it?!"
"Of course, Miss," Karigari replied. "But after the game is over. My objective now is to defeat your Drive Heads, proving once and for all that they're inferior, and making the Mobile Rescue Police regret what they've done to me. Then they would be making figures of my vehicles instead. But as you can see, the figure I made is of much higher quality than yours are, so I would have been disappointed with the results even if I'd won."
"But Doctor, she has three Drive Heads. We've been beat up in that thing by Cyclone Interceptor alone," Yusuke said.
"Yeah," Akira agreed. "Maybe your Drive Head could win, but right now you don't stand a chance."
"But I do," Karigari replied. He glared at them for even thinking to underestimate him.
Karigari hit a switch on the piece below the game board, and all of the spaces between Go and the steakhouse were suddenly encased in a force field which rose from the ground.
"What have you done?!" Sasagawa shouted.
"The Drive Heads were foolish enough to get close to my territory. They should have watched out for traps. Now they can stay there, helpless, while I take control of the remainder of the board. We'll fight for that last steakhouse later."
He picked up the game piece in his likeness and placed it on top of the Walker Vehicle, which he then flew to the next piece of territory that was under Sasagawa's control.
"Team Drive Head hasn't lost yet!" Sasagawa shouted. "I wanted Cyclone to be the hero." She sighed in disappointment. "But I guess this time it will have to be White Pearl Hope!"
Sasagawa revealed her fourth and final Drive Head toy.
"Now, White Pearl Hope attacks with the Armored Bit!" She used it to lasso Karigari's Walker Vehicle. "You lose!"
"Oh, but you spoke too soon," Karigari answered. He picked up the Viper, and it flew off the captured frame, carrying his figure on top of it. He landed it safely on a Community Chest space. "Now, I get a card."
But when he picked up the top card, he twitched.
"What does it say?" Sasagawa asked.
"Go to Jail." Looking depressed, Karigari put the card back down on the table.
"That means I won!" Sasagawa exclaimed.
"No," Karigari replied, though he still sounded dejected. "Not according to the rules. I can get out of jail by rolling the dice or paying up."
"Not with the Mobile Rescue Police here to enforce your arrest!" Sasagawa argued, confident. "They don't take bribes. But… I'd like it if you can get my Cyclone out of the force field."
Karigari smiled. He still had the upper hand after all.
"You'll have to resolve that for yourself, Miss."
"Hmm…" She reached over and hit the switch that Karigari had used earlier. It did the trick, and the force field went away.
"I did it!" She declared. "I saved Team Drive Head!" She picked them up, as well as the figure of Karigari's Walker Vehicle. "I can really have this?!" Her eyes were practically glowing.
"Yes," Karigari said. "But why are you taking the pieces now?"
"Because I won," she answered, as if it were obvious.
"If Team Drive Head was enforcing my arrest as you said, now that they're gone I should have no trouble breaking out," he responded.
"Huh?!" Sasagawa looked down at the board, only to see that Karigari had moved his piece back onto the Go space.
"That was a mere hologram which the foolish Mobile Rescue Police believed they 'captured'," Karigari declared. "Meanwhile, I made my way around the board undetected, acquiring another $200 for myself. And, there are disasters occurring now all across the board. The Drive Heads will be too busy trying to stop them to track me down."
"Oh really?!" Sasagawa frowned. She placed her Drive Heads back on the board in various locations. "Team Drive Head! Go rescue!"
"Bro, are we even playing anymore?" Akira asked.
Yusuke shook his head.
"I knew playing board games with Doctor was no fun. But from now on, I'm never playing a board game with Miss either."