Stupid in Stereo
A/N: I'm back to kick ass and write fanfics. And I'm all out of fanfics. And cookies. And pizza. And porn. For now…well I'm here now and that's all that matters. Anyway I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything. But I have a perfectly reasonable explanation. I was bored and didn't want you ass holes bothering me. So I'm guessing by now some of you guys may have realized by now that I like to specialize in Kingdom Hearts fanfics, especially those concerning Organization XIII. Well if you're familiar with my work then you'll know what to expect. And if you aren't well it's always good to try something new once in a while, eh? And if you don't like my fics or anything that's overly crazy then go away.
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The mansion. Where all bad things like to thrive. Like Demyx's music. Or Xemnas' counterfeit Harry Potter books. Or the fact that that Xigbar was released from prison. That can't be right.
"Yes everyone I'm free!" exclaimed Xigbar
"You were in jail?" asked Xemnas
"Yes I was." said Xigbar
"For what?" asked Xaldin"Oh you know, remember when I stole that baby from the hospital back in 'The Organization Adventure'?
"No." said Vexen
"Yeah well neither do I." said Xigbar
"Don't worry Xigbar, drugs can do that to you. Believe me. I know. I tested them all out on Ansem the Wise. Remember when we had to send him away?" said Xemnas
"Ah man, do I! After that Kingdom Hearts started." said Xigbar
"Yeah and that annoying kid with the Keyblade showed up." said Lexaeus
"Which one?" asked Zexion
"I don't know I'm just bored."
While everyone decided to catch up with each other over the two months since the end of 'The Organization Adventure' while everyone was talking there was a big knock at the front door.
"Who the fuck is that!" yelled Xemnas
"It's a door-to-door salesmen."
"Oh crap! Salesmen. Everyone hide!" said Xemnas
"Oh it can't be that bad. Maybe it's Dante with pizza." suggested Xigbar
"Hey you may be right!" said Xemnas
Without skipping a beat Xemnas walked to the door to see who it was. Meanwhile…
"Do you really thin its Dante? From Devil May Cry? With pizza?" asked Lexaeus
"Man hell no. I just hate salesmen." quipped Xigbar
"Guys guess who it is." Xemnas called when he walked into the room
"The sea gophers I created?" Vexen asked shakily, looking around for any signs of more of his unholy creations that have turned against him
"No it's…
"Hey this yogurt tastes like…invisible" said a short, green, clearly as intelligent as Xemnas (wink wink) monster with an elephant's trunk and holding a small bowl of what used to be frozen yogurt.
"You're right! I didn't know yogurt could taste like invisible." said Xemnas examining the empty bowl
"Swing and a miss, Xemnas" Zexion said sarcastically
"What does invisible taste like?" asked Xigbar
"Well it tastes like air." said Xemnas trying to examine the empty bowl
"Okay what are you doing here?" asked Lexaeus
"I entered this contest to meet the Super-rior." Fred Fredburger said holding up a contest form
"Don't you mean the Superior?" asked Zexion
"Hey if he wants to call me the Super-rior then let him."
"Xemnas what the hell is a Super-rior?"
"A rior that's super. Like me. I'm super! What, you don't believe me? You calling me a liar?"
"Yes." said Xigbar
"Hey screw you Wonka!"
"What?"
"Oh I'm sorry I thought we were in the Chocolate Factory again. Man those were fun times."
"Hey, that fat fuck is eating our food!" Xigbar said, signaling everyone to Fred Fredburger
"Oh no you don't, I still need that food!" Lexaeus said running towards the table
"Yeah I still need to reanimate some of that meat to make new experiments to go with my sea gophers!"
"Fred Fredburger Fred Fredburger Fred Fredburger Fred Fredburger."
"You green piece of--" Lexaeus began but…
"Oooh. Hey what's that thing?"
Fred Fredburger made his way over to Lexaeus' tomahawk and picked it up.
"Oh can I borrow this? Thank you."
Then Fred Fredburger began to 'hammer' a hole into the wall using the blunt side of the tomahawk all the while going "Fred Fredburger Fred Fredburger Fred Fredburger Fred Fredburger. Almost done. Fred Fredburger Fred Fredburger Fred Fredburger, here you go."
"Well guys what do you say we go for a night out on the town?" asked Xemnas
"It's day time." said Xaldin
"Well we could paint the town midknight black with stars." Xemnas said with a gleam in his eyes
"Don't you mean paint the town red?" asked Xigbar
"Nope midknight black with stars. We're going to make it knight time."
"According to the computer screen you mispronounced 'night' Xemnas." said Zexion, rather dryly
"Your droopy hair makes me sad."
"Can we just go already? I want some frozen yogurt already. And this guy won't stop bugging me. GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!! And give me back my eye patch, it keeps my brain in!"
After Xigbar got his eye patch back everyone went out to the frozen yogurt shop to eat. What happened was basically a repeat of the episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
"Oooh what flavor is that?" Fred Fredburger asked pointing at the brown yogurt
"Chocolate." said the clerk
"Oooh chocolate. And what's that flavor?"
"Mint."
"Oooh. And what's that flavor?"
"Chocolate."
"And what's that one?"
"Mint."
"And what's that one?"
"Chocolate."
"And that one?"
"Mint."
"And…
"They're all the same you fat fuck! You keep pointing at the same two over and over again! Pick one fat ass!" said Lexaeus, who had clearly slowly lost his mind from the antics of Fred Fredburger. But it was understandable. If you were with Fred Fredburger than you would go insane too.
"Okay. Um, I think I'll have some of that kind right there." said Fred Fredburger. Then he launched himself at the sneeze guard and hit it with his head. "Hey this yogurt tastes like…invisible!"
"More invisible yogurt?! That's it! We're burning this place down! Vexen get your children and your sea gophers!"
"I have sky bears now."
"Yeah? Well I made mutant fish." said Xaldin
"Yeah well your clubhouse sucks!" said Vexen. He really hurt Xaldin's feelings
The next thing everyone did was go to the store to get some snacks.
"Hey what's that?"
"Popcorn."
"Oooh yes. And what's that?"
"Yogurt."
"Oooh yes. And what's that?"
"Spishak's Snoorpk."
"It's a fork, knife, and spoon all in one!"
"Hey! I want some nachos. Do you guys know where the nachos are?"
"I'm eating them."
"Hey I want some! Give me some!"
"Never! These are mine! I want some nachos! And I'm going to get some cheese to put on my nachos!"
"Hey what's that axe thingy?"
"My tomahawk! No!"
Meanwhile…
"Do you think it was a good idea to ditch them?" asked Xigbar
"Of course it's Lexaeus and that green thing. Who wouldn't ditch them?" said Xemnas
"I thought you liked them." said Xaldin
"I only liked Fred Fredburger because him being green makes me happy and it cancels out Zexion's sad droopy hair."
"Stop saying that." Zexion said in a whiney voice. "It's very hurtful."
"I know, that's why I said it."
"Hooray! Well now that we've gotten rid of Fred Fredburger we can all relax." said Vexen
Just then the doorbell rang, several times in a row.
"I wonder who it is?" queried Vexen
"Oh that's our next guest!" Xemnas said while getting up
"You invited someone else? Who?"
"You guy's will love him!"
Xemnas strolled over to the door and opened it to reveal…
"I like cereal." said the short yellow…thing
"Hey I do too!"
"I like chocolate milk."
"Well I like strawberry milk but we seem to be on the same page here."
"Son of a bitch." said Zexion, taking a sip of coffee
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A/N: There you go. There it is. That was my new fic. What? You didn't like it? Well that was it. What, you think I can think up all kinds of funny things all the time? Huh? Who do you think I am, that one funny writer? You selfish bastards! I don't want you reading my stories anymore