Gingerbread

"Mon beau sapin, roi des forêts…" Maura is signing with the old French CD that reminded her Christmas on French school, totally focused to her work – so she doesn't even notice Jane who came by and is now watching the scene with amused look. Maura in her chequered apron making little gingerbreads, flour in her hairs, smiling and enjoying the forthcoming Holiday.

"Et tes bonbons et tes joujoux – oh, Jane! Hi!" Maura blushed and swallowed, she doesn't like to sing in front of others. "What brings you here?"

Jane keeps smiling and comes closer: "Nothing special. I just wanted to see you. Could you use any help? But I am definitely not singing French carols with you." She giggled.

"I`m fine like this, thank you, but you can refill my glass and serve yourself some wine too." The blonde pointed to her empty glass on the counter and continued to cutter the gingerbreads.

"Do you know there are machines that make you all tin in one stroke?" Jane could not understand how somebody is able to spend so much time by preparing something that is eaten so quickly.

"I know, yes, but I like it this way. It`s relaxing to do it one by one. Take a seat and tell me something festive – perhaps about Christmas when you were little." She did not even raise her head, she was too absorbed by the work.

Jane smiled, drank the sweet red wine and lost herself in memories. "You can imagine our family, lot of people, and lot of eating, lot of mess. But what about Christmas in your family? You had to have really fancy party."

"Yes, my parents organized a charity party every year. It was rather nice." But Maura did not sound like it was a nice memory. "And after the Christmas we used to go skiing to Swiss Alps, just my parents and me, I loved that time." She smiled and rearranged the strand hair by her flour white hand. This sweet gesture made Jane tender, she just drank another gulp of wine.

"But then when I was at medicine they went there without me and I have never asked why." She felt embarrassed now and wanted to change a theme quickly. "Once I spend a very nice Christmas at the campus with foreigner students. You were always home for Christmas?"

"Yeah."

"Never wanted to spend it with your partner?"

"No. Probably any of my partners did not worth it. But yeah, I brought one person to our family Christmas table. But – you know – she is so special that she is probably the only one that I could spend my Christmas with." And with amused look she watched Maura`s reaction. It took few moments before Maura processed this information, then she paused in surprise, straightened her back and looked at Jane: "Me?"

Jane smiled: "You." She came closer and tried to remove the flour of Maura`s hairs. "I know I don't tell it very often, but you are really important for me, Maur."

"You have no idea how important you are for me, Jane. Sometimes I`m -" but she stopped herself and just shook her head.

"Yes, Maura?"

"Nothing."

Jane took Maura`s hands and looked directly into her eyes: "Sometimes you are - what?"

"Sometimes I`m, I mean, I am even wondering if, or how it would look like if we, I mean, if we were together. I know you are straight, Jane, it`s just a silly idea, I should not have brought it up. Just forget about it, please." She wanted to break free from Jane`s arms, but she was holding her tight, at least she manages to avoid Jane`s eyes.

"It`s not silly, Maur, in fact I think about it too, I mean, not all the time, but -" the word often stayed untold.

Now Maura found the courage to glance at Jane: "So why have you never told me anything?"

Jane grimaced: "Why you have never told me anything?"

"I simply thought I have no chance as you are straight, but you knew I have experiences with women."

Jane needed to admit Maura`s right. "Yeah, but – I`m telling you now." And she made her best smile waiting for Maura`s reaction.

"So – you are not straight-straight?" Maura did not understand what all this was supposed to mean. "Are you trying to tell me that you have some gay history you never mentioned before?"

"No, I, uh, I have no experience with women, I mean physically, but I can admit I had a crush to my teacher or football team-mate or, recently my lovely brilliant colleague."

Maura started to feel easy now. She leaned against the counter, she licked her lips, still in Jane`s arms. "And have you at least kissed a women?"

"Nope."

The atmosphere suddenly changed a lot in the room. They stayed quiet for few moments, just gazing one to the other, surprised by all new situation, but then Jane took a breath, slowly closed the space between them and she kissed – for the first time – softly, very softly, her Maura.

It lasted just few seconds, but they both felt these are the most important seconds in their lives. There was so much love in this kiss, so much untold feelings, wishes and desires.

When they finally separated their lips, Jane whispered: "Please tell me it`s not a dream."

Maura did not answer, she just went for another kiss, this time longer and deeper, and she put her arms around Jane, forgetting about all the flour on her hands.

"What are we doing, Maura? Shouldn`t we stop here? You are too important for me to risk everything for one evening thing."

Maura understood what Jane meant. "And what if it`s not one evening thing?"

Jane smiled at her best friend: "Are you really asking me a what if question, doctor?"

Maura bit her lower lip, this situation, this conversation became really essential for their future relationship – whether the friendship or love.

Maybe it`s the time to admit the true, to risk everything just for the little possibility that Jane would understand and accept it. "It would never be one night thing with you, Jane. I love you too much for that. I mean, I know you, uh, that you are not bisexual and that you don't feel the same, but -"

"Maur, I do -"

Maura, surprised, looked at her eyes that were now bright by the intensity of the moment.

"Maur, I do, I feel the same. I love you since the very first case we had together."

"You do?"

Jane nodded softly and hugged the other woman tightly, licking her lips, and with silent "I do." she closed the space between them and softly kissed the blonde.

"So, uh" Jane cleared her voice. "May I invite you for a date?"

Maura smiled and nodded. Thus Jane continued: "Tomorrow after the work? Christmas market and mulled wine?"

"That sounds great."

"And when you finish with these guys" Jane pointed to the gingerbread. "We could watch some movie as a pre-date." She giggled and kissed Maura one more time before she turned and started to focus – or try to focus – on the baking again.

Jane hugged her from behind: "But I`ll keep holding you, just in case you would slip on the flour or something." And Maura smiled as she felt a little kiss on her neck.

Some hour later, the room was scented by the cinnamon and Elvis sang Santa Claus is coming to town, they had already spoken about everything, how they felt in love, how they tried to hide it, how Maura was already looking for a job in Europe when she thought Jane was moving to Afghanistan or how Jane was already prepared to confess her love when she thought Maura was kidnapped, but then they were interrupted by Frost and she never plucked up courage again.

And when all the kitchen was clear and Maura finally undressed her apron, she immediately went for a kiss and they did not release until they reached the couch... If it was up to Maura, she would take Jane right here and now. But she knows Jane is a little old school in this and she doesn't want to scare her. So even if she snuggled to the brunette and pinned her to the couch, she tried to keep all her touches and kisses on not-so-deep level. Yes, it was rather hard. And the movie was totally forgotten.

Between their kisses Jane cleared her voice and looked at her friend (or so): "I haven't even asked you if I could stay for the night...?" She raised an eyebrow. The other woman looked amused: "You know you don't need to ask. And I hope you will spend more nights here now." She confirmed it by the long kiss.

"Maybe we could move to the bedroom, I mean in a cultured way, we could listen Missa solemnis Festis Nativitatis, it`s a Christmas Mass." Maura added as she saw the reaction on Jane`s face.

"Ok, if it means I`ll be snuggled to you, we can listen whatever you want." The brunette winked at her lovely friend.

In the morning, Jane waked up first, she immediately moved closer to Maura, she just needed to be as close as possible. She was dreaming about this since few years and here we go: she`s here now, knowing that they love each other and that the only thing holding Maura back is the awareness about Jane`s moderation when it comes to, you know, first sex. The evening was so sweet and full of love and tenderness, Jane could not even say how much she appreciate it. But why is she so – so slow when it`s Maura? She fantasied about her many times. She`s in love with her since eternity and she wants her. Look at her. She`s right here. Ok, they need to go to work soon, but what if she just snuggled a little and kissed her?

Maura was slowly waked up by this hug. She kept her eyes closed, but she moaned silently. She felt very well the hand caressing her belly and thighs and – when Jane`s hand reached her breasts she opened her eyes and went for a hungry kiss. They intertwined their legs and their connection became even deeper.

Maura was the first who interrupted this passion: "Jane, we should go to work."

Jane did not stopped to kiss her faces and neck: "I know, but I want you."

Maura could not hide her arousal, but she took Jane`s hand and caught her look: "Honey, I want you too, but our first should not be a quickie before breakfast."

Jane sighed: "Yeah, I know, I`m just looking forward to the evening then." She leaned for the last kiss.

Merry Christmas, Rizzles fans!