Dear Alice,
It's been a week... Seven days of pure emptiness for me. I can't believe that he's gone.. That you all are. For so long, I was struggling to believe he existed.. and he was mine... but now that he's disappeared, It's almost like I was trapped in a sick version of a dream. How could I go on believing someone so pure.. So great.. Could be mine? I guess he left because of how dark my soul is. The one he claimed to be protecting. I wish sometimes he would have left something of his here. Like the picture... All I have left is this pain- Like a stab in my heart that he's gone... I won't ever see him again. Every night, I lay in bed, thinking about how it used to be... And I wouldn't mind if he hadn't changed me. As long as I had him.. But that's all over now.
Alice, I don't know if you are getting these emails... But you were (And still are) My best friend... I can't talk to anyone else about this. My mom doesn't understand.. And she's just been pleading to jet me away to Florida. I need to stay here. I have to stay here. I know it's best if I left.. But staying here is the only thing reminding me that you all exist. And that you're out there somewhere.. Maybe still in the moving process.. Maybe all moved in. Without me...
I feel so alone. Since I returned to school a few days ago.. I've just been sitting at your table. Sitting there.. Thinking absently. None of my so-called friends want anything to do with me... I haven't said a word to them this week. At all. I don't know what to do... I've woken up screaming... Having nightmares about Victoria... And lots of other things.. But mostly Victoria.
I'm probably going to get killed now because Victoria probably knows I am unprotected. She will see that as her chance to come and get her revenge... And I'll get killed, just like that. Charlie's going to think I killed myself. That's what's going to get out. And then everyone will remember me as the suicidal depressed girl.
Alice, I don't know if you're getting these... But I need you to know this.
I miss you, too.
~Bella.