A small one-shot I have decided to do. I know I haven't updated in a while, my writing time has been spent on one story that is bigger than anything I have ever done. Enjoy this little fluffy story of a soldier trying to get home to his boyfriend all in time for a white Christmas. enjoy!

Disclaimer: This may not be accurate

comments please!

The marred landscape around him was barren and lifeless, lacking of any vibrancy. No trees basked in the never ending sun out here. No deer grazed on bright green grass, as there was none. The flat horizon hazed into a dull blue sky, exhausted from holding the blazing sun.

Dean hated it here.

It was nothing like home. Nothing like the large green pastures surrounded by layers of pine trees and sycamores that filled the morning breezes with a fresh scent. It was nothing like the calm nights where crickets reigned and the stars gazed down at them, showing off their galaxies. The sun was nothing like the sweet warmth that the horses basked in all day, soaking in its light before the winter set in. And the horizon was unsteady, mountain reaching the moon and valleys that touched the shorelines of creeks and streams that flowed across the terrain.

Afghanistan was nothing like Vermont.

...

Dean sat in the window seat of the stupid little airplane flying from JFK international airport. It was his last plane. God it had been such a long journey. He had been on every fucking type of transportation there was just so he could be here. And he still had such a long way to go.

He had taken the Jeep to the aerial base. Taken an Air Force cargo plane to Turkey. And another to France. He took a boat across the English Channel to London. Taxis to the airport. Then another plane to LaGuardia. Several subways later he was boarded up in a tiny motel next to JFK.

And he still had so long to go. Once he reached Burlington, he'd have to rent a car and drive 3 and a half hours to the tiny town in which he called home. It was all so exhausting.

It was so worth it.

God he missed home so much. He barely even remembered what it looked like it had been so long. Nearly 3 years. But he knew that Vermont would be so pretty this time of year with all that snow.

He could day dream about it all day. Yet every time he was startled awake, he was still sitting on the tarmac of the busy airport. It was especially busy this time of the year, with people going home for the holidays and all.

It was uncomfortable to have people stare at him in his uniform. It made him nervous as they stood awkwardly, fixated on him as if they didn't know what to say or do. It was frustrating because all he wanted was to be seen as another average joe.

Dean was ripped from his thoughts as his phone rang. His phone had not worked over seas but as soon as he made it to New York, he saw hundreds of voice mails. Each and everyone of them from Cas. He didn't sleep at all his first night in the states. Instead he laid in the uncomfortable, musty smelling bed and listened to each voice mail over and over. His phone died twice, but he couldn't stop. Tears welled in his eyes, hearing his boyfriends voice. He never imagined how much he could miss the gravelly sound. It was perfect.

Dean let his phone run to voice mail again and once it was in the clear that Cas had hung up, he opened his phone and clicked on the voice mail.

*Hello Dean. It's been 1,042 days since I've seen your beautiful green eyes. I miss you terribly... and I just... I need to know your okay. I haven't received a letter in over 8 months. What if you're lost? I... just want you back. It's the holidays. I know you love Christmas up here in Vermont. It's just not the same without you. I didn't even decorate this year. Didn't cut down a tree. I can't bare to do it again without you. You love to decorate. Love fighting Sammy to put the star up... You... I-I.*

His voice broke off as if it was a bad connection, but it wasn't. Cas's voice was broken. And it killed Dean more than anything.

And while sitting on the tarmac, it came to him.

He was supposed to leave it a secret that he was coming home. Leave it a secret for everyone. He knew his family and friends would all be in Vermont at their house for the holiday break. But he had to do something. So he dialed a distant number and hit call.

"Hello?" Dean paused, his mouth going dry as words failed him. He stumbled for a second before regaining his strength.

"...Hey." All he heard on the other line was a loud thud.

"Holy shit! What kind of fucking prank is this?! How did you get this number you fu-"

"Gabriel. It's me." Another thud.

"What's that sound?"

"Me dropping my phone. Geez! H-how are you calling? We haven't heard from you in months! Cas thought you were dead, we all did and now your suddenly calling all nonchalantly! Does Cas know? Call him! My fucking god where are you?!"

"No! Cas doesn't know and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm in New York. I'm coming home and I was going to surprise everybody, but I need someone's help... I need *your* help."

"...I don't follow." Dean groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. Why of all people did he call Gabe?

"I'll explain everything, just promise me you can do it, without telling anyone in the process. *Especially Cas.*"

...

Christmas Eve

Cas didn't want to go downtown to shop with everyone. He didn't want to see the snow. Didn't want to see the Christmas decorations. He didn't even want to see all his family.

Everything reminded him of Dean. The boyfriend that was nowhere to be found. He could be dead. It was like the world was slowly crushing him.

He groaned and tagged along in the back, kicking at the rock salt chemicals sprinkled over the icy streets. Charlie and Jo's laughs rang through the cold air as they caught snowflakes on their tongues. Jess clearly wanted to join in their childish skipping but she clung to Sam's arm, the little baby bump restricting her from such movements.

Everyone here was Dean's family. Which he supposed was his family. He loved them as so. Well... it was mostly friends that ended up family in their little mix match group. Dean had his brother Sam and his Uncle Bobby. Bobby was married to Ellen who were the parents of Dean's cousin Jo. Charlie was their adopted daughter. Then of course there was Jess, Sam's fiancé. They had gotten engaged 4 months after Dean left.

They both refused to get married until Dean came home. Alive or...dead.

Cas didn't have much family. He had his brother Gabe, who at the moment, was nowhere to be found. That irritated Cas a little. Gabe knew how hard it was for him, and he was god knows where.

He sulked behind them, dragging his feet, subtly putting distance between his friends. Jess seemed to notice as she pulled back and stopped him.

"Cas?"

"Hmm?"

"Honey, I know it's hard. I-"

"But you don't know." Cas snapped bitterly. He immediately faltered and blushed at the sudden snap. Jess didn't flinch, didn't even react. Cas opened his mouth to apologize, but she shushed him.

"Don't apologize. You're right, I don't, not directly at least. Cas... Sam he -don't tell him I said this- Sam cried a couple nights ago. I woke up and he was just sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the picture of the them as kids. He hadn't heard from his brother, the one who raised him in months. He's just as scared as you are."

Cas gasped a little and suddenly felt like a total ass. He was only thinking about himself. Only wallowing in his own self pity. He bit his lip and frowned sadly.

"Dean will come home. He is not lost... and even if he comes home... encased in wood, he won't be lost. Not forgotten. Maybe we should go home. It does no good to be gloomy, but it hurts, I know." Cas smiled appreciatively and wrapped an arm around her softly. She cracked a grin.

"Come on. My pregnant lady cravings are just dying for a hot chocolate, and I found where Gabe hid the chocolate packets."

...

After rounding everyone up and making their way home through the rapidly piling snow and ice they passed the large oak tree that would reveal their home. They didn't all share it. It was a huge cabin home that fit Dean, Cas, Sam, and Jess.

Once the baby was born and they were married, they would move out, but for now they enjoyed rooming with Cas and Dean -when he was home-.

Cas was staring at his feet, concentrating on not slipping when he felt a strong smack to the shoulder.

"Look up!" Cas rolled his eyes, done with Jo's childish games. She may have been 20, but it was like she was 10 again during the holiday season.

Cas looked up. His jaw dropped.

The house was decorated from top to bottom. Read and white lights wrapped around every pine tree and bush in the yard. Wreaths on every light post and every door. Garlands wrapped around the railings and banisters of the porch and carnations sat in big green pots on the front steps. All the lights in the house were off, except for the front window that illuminated a giant, 9 foot tree as lit up and decorated. Cas placed over his mouth as A shadowed figure opened the door.

Santa hat on head, and a handful of candy canes in his hands, Gabe came running up to the family. He threw the candy at them and laughed pointing to the horrid expression on his little brother's face.

"Hiya Cassie! I made a few changes!" Cas stood there, mouth open and fist clenched. The house was decorated just how Dean did it. It was spot on, right down to the elegant way the trees were wrapped in lights, to the position of the four plastic light-up reindeer in the garden. It was exactly like the Christmas before Dean left. For just a second, he could remember the look on his face as the lights reflected his sparkling eyes, so proud of his work.

Something knotted up terribly inside of him, like the world had just exploded over his head. Jess beamed up at him waiting patiently for his reaction.

It was the reaction she was not expecting.

"I'm going to *kill* you!" Cas hollered, charging at his brother. Gabe stared at him with a flabbergasted expression until he realized that his brother was coming a hell of a lot closer. His grin fell as he darted in the other direction.

"I can't believe *you*!" Cas snapped, practically breathless as he sprinted after his brother, destroying the beautifully smooth snow blanket that laid on the yard. They were soaked to the bone, but Cas kept chasing him, exchanging curses at each other.

Everyone else watched wide eyed from the drive way.

Gabe made a break from the closing proximity of his little brother and dashed up the front porch, slid across the slick wood, and threw open the door, to dart inside. Cas was quick to follow, bursting inside the house a breathless mess.

He turned the corner into the living room, hoping to find his dumbass brother so he could scold him furiously. He was going to kill his dumbass brother for setting up this whole... whole... dumbass prank! And to get to his dumbass brother hiding away in the kitchen, he had push past the living room and that dumbass 9 foot tree that stood before him. That dumbass tree with it's beautiful glowing lights illuminating the room with its ornaments reflecting the fire crackling away in the fireplace. And the star that sat on top the exact angle Dean liked it. The garlands. The wreaths. The stockings. Everything was exactly how he would have had it.

But he was gone now. Gone to a place where the landscape was in ruins and the only color was the dusty camouflage of their uniforms. Christmas carols wouldn't be ringing in his ears... if he was even alive, it would be the sounds of machine guns and bombs tearing away at his sanity. Cal could've cried right there in the door way allowing the cold winter night to rush into the warmth of the house.

He wanted to get back at his brother. Cal stepped inside, not bothering to wipe the slush off his boots, as he stormed into the living room, with complete disregard to the tree.

Cas stopped dead.

There he was.

A little dirty, with bags under his eyes and a uniform that had seen better days, but there. He. Was. Cas froze, his numb fingers over his gaped expression, his eyes staring as if he was staring at the most beautiful thing in the world.

"...Cas?" The name sounded so wonderful coming from his voice, strained from exhaustion, but not lacking of his giddy energy.

"..D-Dean?" Cas stuttered out in a mumbling whisper. It was him. It was really him. The tree illuminated the soft freckles dappled across tan cheeks and a sunspot on his forehead. His wide pupils painted a picture of the snow falling outside the window, and suddenly they filled with tears. Golden tears that sparked with the crackling fire.

Heaving chests collided and hands gathered as much as they could, wrapping them up in a tight embrace. Dean smashed his face in the messy head of black hair that smelled like coconut. Just like 1,043 days ago.

Can rested his head on the muscular shoulder with the little boney spot from an injury years ago. He took in the comforting feeling of Dean's warm breath tickling the his neck and the strong arms that clung to his coat and torso. The grip was so desperate, so full of love... but it was not like 1,043 days ago.

No, something was different. Cas knew he should have expected it. But he just didn't. The desperation... the anguish all of it pouring out in the one exhale, the shaky breath sending a chill down his spine. The little grunt as he pulled away. Cas pressed both hands against Dean's freckled face and stared into those endless green eyes.

"My god... it's really you." Dean chuckled and leaned into the warmth of his hands.

"It's only been 1,043 days." Dean choked out. They stayed like that for a moment, tears refusing to spill but still so evident.

"Hey, I didn't come all this way, not to kiss you." Cas smiled and leaned in, sealing the space between them, but a 200 pound force launched onto them.

"SURPRISE!" Gabe hollered, ruffling his little brother's hair. Gabe felt a sharp pain to the shoulder as Cas punched him.

"You assbutt!" Dean threw his head back in laughter, just like a lifetime ago. It was beautiful.

"I see your comebacks haven't changed!" Dean cracked a grin and planted several kisses on top of Cas's ruffled hair. He squeezed the two brothers closer, taking in their choked chuckles and pink cheeks. A sudden shriek interrupted their reunion.

"Cas! Don't kill Gabe... wait..." A very pregnant Jess stood in the door way, her eyes wide and mouth gaped at the scene in front of her.

"Jess? Babe, what is- DEAN!" Sam's voice quivered but he moved so fast that Dean barely got the chance to see his expression. The giant of a man picked up his brother and shook him as he hollered curses and happy chortles. He let go of him and socked him in the shoulder. "What the hell man? You don't answer for 8 months, and you're suddenly here!?" Dean couldn't help but frown a little and scratch the back of his neck expressing his guilt.

"I'm-" Sam hugged him again, this time silently as a tear slid down his cheek.

"I missed you."

...

1:26 a.m.

Everyone had retreated to their rooms after filling up on sugar and alcohol. The lights had been turned off and even the white snow outside was hard to see coming down as the night went on. Everyone was tucked in bed with family or loved ones, snuggled beneath blankets, the weight of the world finally lifted off their shoulders.

Everyone but Cas and Dean.

"I thought you were dead." Cas said suddenly, after 30 minutes of silence as he dozed, head rested on Dean's shoulder.

"I know."

"What if you were?"

"But I'm not."

"But... god dammit! You could have Dean!" Cas lowered his voice again and moved away from his boyfriend. Dean lowered his head in shame and nodded.

"I know. Cas, babe I'm so sorry... I'm- I'm not going back." Cas's eyes widened and his head tilted slightly in that way that made Dean want to kiss him.

"Really?"

"Yeah babe. I'm done." Cas moved closer again, his chest fitting perfectly in Dean's side. Cas brought his fingers to Dean's freckled cheeks, and leaned his forehead in.

"I love you." Dean closed the space between them as their lips touched. He knew he missed this, but it overwhelmed him how long he had gone without kissing Cas. 1,043 days.

Dean leaned back on the couch, pulling Cas with him until Cas rose and fell with Dean's steady breaths. Cas hummed softly to Dean's heartbeat and sighed softly as Dean's gentle lips pressed against his temple as they fell into a deep sleep.

Thanks for reading! i know its not my best, but I'm very busy! reviews please! Until next time,

-Daisy