Summary: Mulder and Scully finally receive the gift of a magical Christmas.
Notes: This story was written for Valerie/Kyouryokusenshi for the Secret Santa fanfic exchange. She asked for a hurt/comfort, family centered fluff, and Christmas themed story. I really tried my best to deliver the goods and stay in character. God, I hope it worked! ;)
I had to choose the song that was used in HTGSC episode not only because it's classic, but because it seemed fit this story best. I promise that by the time you finish reading this (even if you may not be into the happy family trope) all the fluff and romance will leave you feeling warm and fuzzy for hours!
"Have yourself a merry little Christmas.
Let your heart be light,
From now on our troubles
Will be out of sight.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yuletide gay,
From now on our troubles
Will be miles away.
Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore,
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.
Through the years
We all will be together
If the Fates allow,
Hang a shining star
On the highest bough,
And have yourself
A merry little Christmas now."
Mulder quietly hums as he hovers, standing at her bassinet to contently gaze at the little bundle of soft alabaster and auburn fluff. An exquisite mingling of a dash of Mulder and an abundance of Scully. He tries to keep his exuberance to a minimum, but most of the time he's just bursting with glee and is unable hide his delighted smile every time he greets his new baby girl.
His predisposition for insomnia throughout the years still plagues him. Yet, Scully is used to it and nowadays, he finds himself grateful for the many years of practiced functionality on lack of sleep. Instead of filling the late night hours with thoughts of conspiracies, paranormal happenings, or relying on Scully's familiar breathing to soothe his thoughts, he now trusts in their little miracle to fill his mind with much more important things in life.
Things like watching the rise and fall of her fully satisfied belly as she sleeps with a small smile touching her mouth. Things like the feel of her tiny fist squeezing his pinky as she listens to his voice gently singing her to sleep. Things like the little coos and gurgling noises she makes when she's alert and shining those wide cobalt eyes at his rather embarrassing baby talk that Scully teases at him for using. But Mulder's favorite thing in life right now, is lying in bed with Scully curling into him with his arms wrapped around her, watching her stroke the pink, rounded cheeks of their daughter as she nurses contently at her mother's breast.
Mulder's eyes mist over and smiles as she stirs, her dark brows creasing, her plump little rosebud lips puckering her dramatic cupids bow, and he can't help but run the back of his finger down the curves of her smooth face every single time she does that.
"Mulder?" Scully croaks from the bed with heavy lids while propping herself up on an elbow. "What's wrong?"
He reluctantly moves away from their dreaming little one and shakes his head with a blush coloring his face. "Nothing, Scully."
He slides under the covers and wraps one supportive arm and one long leg around her curling body as she snuggles in deep, feeling her hands roam up his waist and around his neck. Mulder's favorite nighttime Scully-ritual comes next when he feels her face press into his chest and breathes in his blended scent of deodorant and aftershave.
"Memorizing her again?" He chuckles at her repetition of his own words said to her from the day she was born.
"Mm, I do every night. Can't help myself," he admits while his eyes fall shut.
Scully sighs, relaxing into his warmth. "I know," she tells him with pride lacing her voice. "I do it, too."
Mulder nods because he already knows she does with his mastering of their unspoken bond. He plays with the ends of her shoulder length hair while they just hold each other in the dark and listen to the snow softly hitting the trees near the window.
"It's snowing," he murmurs with his nose buried in her hair. "On Christmas eve. It's perfect."
Scully nods along his chest agreeing with him, yet conflicted between her feelings of happiness and worry, so she pulls him even closer. "Almost perfect, Mulder."
"Yeah." And he knows, knows exactly what and whom she is thinking about on a night like this. He doesn't need to say anything to comfort her because the ache she feels won't be soothed by his words, but what Mulder knows that Scully does not, is that one of those sorrowful aches will be forever healed on this holiday. He grabs her hand that's languidly massaging his neck, laces her fingers with his and presses kiss after kiss along the back. "Talk to me, Scully."
"I'm worried about Jackson—getting desperate to see him again," she says after a few minutes of quiet contemplation. "From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep, I'm thinking about him. It's like there's no escape, no matter how hard I work to tell myself he's capable, no matter how much I try to rely on the few images he's sent me, I still worry. And I miss him, and I—" her breath catches. She knows that Mulder will wait patiently for her to speak all night if he has to as he presses her hand harder against his mouth. "I…miss her too, Mulder. I miss Mom, and wish she were here to see us now. All of us."
Her admission is punctuated with the feeling of warm tears seeping into his shirt. She silently wonders when discussing their son had become an easier task than the discourse of her mother. Scully had no idea she could feel this way. Had no idea she would feel the anguish of loss at her mother's absence so keenly that she questions if it will ever stop hurting. And she's known all along, that she does not bare the consistent dull ache within her chest alone.
Scully is not one to shed a tear lightly nor admit to needing anyone without a little coaxing, yet she and Mulder both know that certain subjects such as wanting their teenage son and missing Margaret Scully, bring forth her raw emotions like a freight train. Much like right now. And the only person she has, and will ever want comfort from, is her Mulder.
"Oh, love, I know you do, because I miss her, too," he divulges, his voice cracking as he tries to hold back just how much. He hears her sigh deeply and recognizes that sound clearly as gratitude for his comfort. "Sleep, Scully it's almost midnight," he soothes her skin beneath his palms. "Besides, little lady will be demanding to eat in a few hours and I have a feeling Christmas day will be full of excitement."
Scoffing while teetering on the verge of sleep, she says, "Mulder, you have me wondering what kind of Christmas you're planning here. But to be honest, I'm too tired to worry about that right now. Just as long as you're with me…"
Mulder smiles at her ability to pass out on him in the middle of a sentence at least four times a week. "Always. Love you, Scully," he whispers and lets sleep finally claim him, too.
—
A soft familiar humming brought Scully's attention to the side of the bed. At first, she thinks Mulder has gotten out of bed to gaze at their daughter again as her hazy vision tries to focus on the slender figure standing in the corner holding the baby. Blinking rapidly now, she moves to sit up but looks down as she feels Mulder's arm still draping heavily over her side.
Confused, Scully whips her head around to confirm what her mind is already screaming: that there's a stranger in the bedroom cradling their newborn.
She scrambles to her feet and frantically fumbles to grab her and Mulder's shared black framed glasses from the nightstand and shoves them onto her face. Just as she's about to reach for her gun in the top drawer and yell for Mulder, an iridescent shimmer of light illuminates around the unknown silhouette and in an instant, Scully's stomach plummets while her heart soars in her chest.
"Mom?" Standing in the corner just feet from her, is her mother gently swaying her granddaughter, looking adoringly at the precious cargo nestled within her arms. "Oh, my God...Mom," she gasps with her hand hovering over her gaping mouth.
Frozen and utterly overcome with emotion, she trembles, hardly able to register the need to breathe let alone grasp the fact that she's witnessing what many would deem a fantastical impossibility. "Are you real?"
Breathless, she begins to panic, knowing that this just could not be happening. The conflicting urge to both, fight the would-be alien shape shifter to the death, and rush over to pull her mother into a bone crushing hug and never let go is painfully acute. Yet as soon as that jarring thought enters her mind, an overwhelming warmth of comfort drapes over her like a blanket, instantaneously calming her. She feels surrounded by her mother's presence, safe. It's exactly the way Scully had always felt while under her reassuring touch.
And any fear for her daughter's well-being, has vanished completely.
Scully watches in awe with tears lining her eyes as her mother brushes one slender finger across both supple cheeks and down the slope of her sleeping child's nose.
"Katherine Margaret," Maggie breathes, beaming with pride. "She's beautiful, Dana. Just like William." Hearing her voice and seeing her face nearly shatters Scully's already fractured heart. God, I've missed you, Scully thinks while she smiles and studies how her mother's peaceful hazel eyes flick over to Mulder asleep in the bed. Staring deep into Scully's tearful gaze for the first time now, she can feel Maggie's strength fill her own soul. "You're blessed, honey, in more ways than one. So don't squander the opportunity to enjoy life's blessings by being afraid, Dana Katherine," Maggie explains with endless love and wisdom shining in her expression. "Don't let your fear of the past affect your presence of the future."
Scully's eyes snap open and she jolts straight up in bed, disoriented and gasping in the dark. Squinting at the clock that reads 4:40am, she quickly searches the bedroom from corner to corner while her heart pounds and sees nothing but Mulder laying prone next to her with his mouth hanging open. "Kate!" she cries, tearing the covers back with tears in her eyes, emotional, her hand clasping her mouth.
With her heart in her throat and her stomach in knots, Scully approaches the bassinet on shaky legs and sighs in relief when she sees Katherine peacefully sleeping on her back with her arms stretching out above her thick fuzzy-haired head.
Letting out a loud, trembling sigh as her adrenaline rushes, Scully grips the edge of the baby's bed to try and regain her composure.
"Scully? Mulder sits up and takes in her hunched back, taut muscles and labored breathing while he swiftly climbs out of bed. "Scully! What happened?"
Scully hears Mulder's worrisome voice but before she can respond, the distinct familiar scent of White Musk perfume billows around her. And when Scully slides her hands under Kate's relaxed body and tucks her little head under her chin, that same scent—one that she's smelled so often throughout her life—strongly radiates off of her velvety skin. "Oh, Mom. Thank you," Scully breathes, not attempting to hold back hot tears of joy from spilling onto Kate's swaddling.
Alarmed, Mulder reaches out and lays a calming hand along her arm. Scully startles and he notices the slick lines of her tears wetting her face. "Hey, what's wrong? And wait...what did you say?"
She shakes her head and sucks in a lung full of air while swiping at her cheeks. "Mom, it was her—she was here in our room, rocking Kate!" Feeling nothing short of excitement now flowing through her veins, Scully grabs onto Mulders hand, lacing her fingers in his while their eyes lock with intensity. "It was like she was really right there in front of me and could hear her voice. I can still smell her." She furrows her brow, pleading for him to understand how tangible her mother felt to her. "It was so real, Mulder, it was her—Mom was in this room holding her granddaughter."
Mulder feels her racing heart through her pulse point at her wrist and with the look in her eye, he can tell she's 100 percent lucid—that this experience she's just had, is very real to her.
Even more than that, he believes her because, yes, he too can feel Margaret's presence as clearly has Scully's beating heart. "Shh...I believe you, Scully, I believe you."
That's the only thing she needs to hear right now to solidify what she already knows in her soul; that—much like how her father had—her mother's apparition had just said one last hello and one final goodbye.
Scully nods and closes her eyes as the comforting warmth she'd felt minutes ago engulfs her once again. But this time when she opens them, all she sees is Mulder hugging her and Kate within his large soothing embrace.
This is what Mom wanted to tell me, she thought. Her mother had just reassured her that she, Mulder, Jackson, and Katherine are a family and are finally safe to live like one. That it's okay to accept that this is what it feels like to freely enjoy a family without the daily threats of their children's safety looming in the background of their everyday life.
Her mother, her counselor in crises of the heart, has gifted Scully an unexpected yet silently yearned for last piece of advice; to not let old fear dictate her ability to wholly embrace her renewed role as Mother to both of her children.
"I hadn't realized just how deeply I've missed and needed my mom until I laid eyes on her in my dream," she explains with Kate's steady breath tickling at her neck. Not only is the heavy weight of her guilt and angst of the past which was gradually crushing her gone, but she suddenly found the ability to verbally express herself much easier now. "And from now on, I feel like everytime my heart surges with love for her, It will be like a little piece of her grandma is right here loving her with us."
"Just like with her grandson," Mulder adds, tucking sleep mussed hair behind her ears. "Maybe you finally exposing what you've been needing by opening your heart and reaching out for her, was enough to bring her spirit to you. I think you needed that reassurance and support more than you understood, but she had known. And maybe for Margaret, she had one last act of love she needed to give—to meet her granddaughter and grant you a priceless Christmas wish from Mother to Daughter."
"God, you know exactly what to say to me, Mulder, and I love you for it." Scully kisses the hollow of his neck, melting into him as his comforting words thrum through her. With Kate sighing happily between them, it prompts her to voice what fills the rest of her already exposed heart. "You being here every step of the way…just being the man I fell in love with decades ago and embracing being the Father you've always hoped that you'd be, has reminded me of how blessed I really am," she confesses, pouring out her thoughts fluidly now. "I think that's what Mom meant for me to understand. What she wants me to always remember; that we're still us, Mulder, you and me. Partners forever."
Mulder inhales sharply as Scully looks at him, chin in his hand, her eyes and soul laid bare before him, and he smiles while a thousand images of them steadily falling in love over case files in a basement office comes to the forefront in his mind. Scully had told him not long ago that she wanted to remember exactly how it all was, but Mulder's never forgotten any of it. "Since day one. And baby makes...four," he jests, yet he knows his seriousness in matters of the heart swirl within his moss green depths.
"Yes," Scully nods, never breaking eye contact and rubs her palm slowly up his chest. She feels his heartbeat thudding at a gallop where she's touching him and coyly smirks, delighted that she still has that effect on him after all this time.
Mulder covers his hand over Scully's that supports their daughter along her front while leaning down. His lips cover hers softly, his tongue parting her lips and delving deeply into her mouth, and when he slides one large hand up under her satin pajama shirt with only one motivation in mind, Scully can't suppress the deep moan that escapes and vibrates into his mouth. As their lips dance along in an euphoric way that never gets old, the bundle between them squirms and kicks underneath their hands cradling her back.
Mulder smiles along Scully's purpose driven lips and she reluctantly pulls away to look into Kate's wide open eyes. "Perfect timing, little one." Sighing in disappointment as her lips tingle with loss, she glances back at Mulder who's adjusting his excitement through his flannel pants while he grabs a burp rag and lays it over her shoulder. "That kind of kiss is exactly why you exist." Kate whimpers and cries out in hunger as she works her clenched fist into her mouth.
Chuckling, Mulder guides Scully toward the bed, hand at the small of her back, and gestures to the door. "Since we're already up, I'll just head downstairs, brew some decaf and light a fire while you feed her." She nods to him as she watches Kate latch onto her breast eagerly and begins to smooth down her abundantly fluffed russet hair. Hair that's rapidly growing right along with her lithe little frame.
And his heart swells, just a little bit more.
—
After making his way downstairs and flipping on the coffee maker, Mulder quickly lights and stokes the fire within the hearth, watching as the flames engulf the logs. He had left the massive tree standing tall in the corner of their living room lit with the multi-colored lights flickering before bed for whenever they awoke this morning, knowing full well Scully would rise to a surprise worthy of holiday cheer.
Right after Scully had went to bed last night, he'd taken a hidden bag out of his desk and placed a little Christmas spirit in the perfect spot on his way up the stairs to join her. Looking up at it now after the eventful morning they have already had, he knows the extra effort made on Scully's favorite holiday will be more than welcomed.
Hearing her footfalls above him, Mulder turns his XM radio on and flicks it from the usual Doctor Talk channel to Holiday Traditions just as she makes her way down the stairway.
"Mistletoe, Mulder?" she asks, raising a brow and adjusting the over ten pounds of baby off her shoulder. "You know you don't need a reason to kiss me, right?"
"Considering our 25 years of history together, and how our tongues were just roaming around each other's mouths upstairs, no, I realize that I don't." He smiles warmly while running his bedroom eyes along her body, and she knows her pink cheeks are evident even in the dim glow of the fire and tree lights. "Although, any excuse is a good excuse to thoroughly kiss the love of my life. And if the little hemiparasitic plant gives me one, then I have no problem utilizing its power in the persuasion of romance."
Scully blushes ferociously. It seems utterly ridiculous to her that he could still make her cheeks flush and her heart race. Yet, the thrill of Mulder is still as intense as it was the moment she had first stepped foot into that basement office.
He moves into her and watches her slowly drag her pink tongue across her bottom lip, anticipating. Sliding one hand up her spine, splaying his long fingers between the blades of her shoulders and another through her crimson hair to cradle her lolling head. Mulder groans with expectation in the reclaiming of her mouth.
Scully can't help but respond in kind as she raises on tiptoe to greet him halfway. Their lips firmly meet and she presses herself against him as much as possible with a baby laid across her arm. Her fingertips run along his warm skin up the front of his shirt to caress his around rib cage. Their mouths dance along one another, sensually sucking and teasing each lip, eliciting a satisfied moan from them both.
Mulder hesitantly breaks contact when he feels a tiny foot kick at his side. "Hey now, none of that," he coos. He kisses the crown of Kate's head and breathes in her pronounced scent of baby lotion, Scully, and an undercurrent of a new yet oddly familiar smell he can't quite distinguish.
Scully looks around their living room as Mulder starts fawning over Kate's new candy cane Christmas sleeper, and a wistful smile spreads across her face, marveling at the sight before her.
Vivid memories of her mom and dad happily watching on while sipping hot cocoa as she and Melissa ornately decorated the tree and mantle with care; warming her feet by the fire as they all listened and sang along to classic Christmas songs together; the rare moments of sharing joy and feeling loved by her whole family under the twinkling lights flashes before her eyes.
Immediately, Scully is struck with how absolutely grateful she feels that she's in love with the only man who knows her well enough to let her experience those same wonderful things and more.
Clearing her tightening throat, she announces, "her belly's full and she's probably ready to get back to sleep now that I've changed her." Scully pads her way to the couch and sinks in with a sigh. "This is beautiful, Mulder."
"Remind you of Christmastime with your family?"
She huffs out a laugh at his uncanny way of reading her mind. "I am with my family," she says simply, watching his expression beam from the corner of her eye.
He hums and lowers down next to her, kicking his feet up on the end table next to medical journals and sunflower seeds. Then, he carefully moves a sleepy Kate down to their laps and wraps an arm around Scully's shoulder. They sit in a comfortable silence that they've mastered naturally in their skilled art of body language years ago, just listening to the music as they watch their newborn's eyes grow heavy once again.
Their love glows brighter than the twinkling lights from floor to ceiling covering the massive Douglas fir. Even as Scully snuggles their barely eight week old blessing tighter into them, the awe of her still illuminates as greatly as the moment she was placed, warm, red, and screaming, upon Scully's chest.
"This is the best gift I could've ever received," she whispers over their miracle and stretches to kiss his cheek.
Mulder smiles through sudden watery eyes, never looking away from the long lashed angel donning his pouty bottom lip as she dreams atop their thighs and cradled hands. "Yeah, Kate's pretty perfect, Scully. We did good," he grins and holds back any stray tears from falling.
Scully moves her free hand to cup his scruffy jaw and urges her husband to meet her gaze. "We did. But I was talking about you, Mulder," her voice wavers with her tender touch caressing along the contours of his face.
The adoration she feels for him only seems to have magnified after her upstairs spiritual encounter. An idea of such she'd never thought possible—to love Fox Mulder more than she ever had is unfathomable to her, yet she absolutely does.
Her words touch him deeply, wholly. And with his daughter and his wife wrapped securely in his embrace, he remembers—recalls those intense feelings of eternal unconditional love that he felt for so brief of time with his son held within his arms on that fateful night he'd become a Father.
They share a knowing smile, and together, let their rare tears of joy fall, freely. Staring into her gleaming pools of blue, Mulder sniffs and nods his head toward the tree. "Well, you might change your mind when you see what's in that envelope hidden in the branches."
Mulder knows what's in it and from whom it came. He knows what the faithful promises written inside will mean to her. And in just a few short hours when Scully answers a knock at the door, she will be gifted yet again with the presence of their son.
Scully tilts her head and arches a brow in suspicion. "I hope it isn't an invitation to solve another Christmas haunting. You know, for old times sake?" She rolls her eyes as he feigns a pout.
"Nope. Not this time. Besides, it sounds like you've had one of your own already tonight." Scully just smiles and elbows his thigh with her arm that curves around Kate. "But I what I can tell you, is that you'll definitely enjoy this Christmas surprise much more than playing mind games and exposing our loneliness and codependency in a haunted mansion."
"I already do." She chuckles and lays her head on the swell of his chest, relishing in the soothing sounds of his breathing blendling with Kate's. She slides her hand down his jaw and over his beating heart where he covers his hand with hers.
The holiday music drifts through the living room, barely louder than the crackling fire. And as a fitting song plays, Scully nuzzles her face into his old grey shirt. "Now this is how I like my Mulder."
He smirks with his head resting along the back of the couch. "Like?"
"Love, Mulder. Always love." And now, he's smiling so hard his cheeks hurt.
"Have yourself a merry little Christmas, now," Mulder sings, suddenly realizing that it's actually possible that a God he hasn't believed in since he was twelve, hadn't really turned his back on him after all. Maybe all their struggles in life were worth it in the end because it lead them to this; a happy future as parents together.
His heart feels impossibly full as he thinks about what's to come in their ensuing years spent in this unremarkable house. And Mulder has a feeling that from now on, Christmas will be a day he can finally look forward to celebrating with his own family that he made with the love of his life.
Feeling the familiarity of his mind drifting off in thought beneath her, she kisses his chest and sighs as her eyes flutter shut. "Mm…merry Christmas, Mulder."
"Merry Christmas, Scully."
As the snow falls through the window beneath the lambent moonlight and blankets the unremarkable house in white, a long lost son finally finds his way home.
And as for Mulder and Scully, they experience Christmas miracles of their own creation. Letting go of past pain, opening their hearts, and expressing their love without fear, were the only things they have ever truly needed to do in order to come full circle; to never give up on a miracle. One in which they are blessed to witness with the family they made together every moment for the rest of their lives.