I am spinning and spinning. It's such a beautiful feeling, to be able to give yourself up entirely to one thing, and to feel like there is nothing in the world that could make you stop. Life is that way, and so is spinning. Sometimes you feel like you could go on forever, and then suddenly you crash into someone. It's then that everything begins to change.

"Lucy! Watch where you're going!" In this case, the person I crashed into was Susan. And, unfortunately, she was not very pleased at being crashed into. Especially by a rather silly seven year old girl. I couldn't help but grin as she dropped the huge pile of blankets that she had been carrying, even though she looked very cross.

"I'm sorry…" I said, bending over to pick up the ones that had fallen closest to my feet. "I didn't see you." Under normal circumstances, one might have wondered what a Queen of Narnia was doing carrying blankets around Cair Parivel. I knew, however, that Susan hated to feel useless. She always had to be doing something; I suppose laundry was just her task of the day.

"Well, I'd imagine you didn't see me, considering that you had your eyes closed." She replied with a small snort. It didn't take her long to get all the blankets piled into her arms again, and then she went on her way. I sighed, was there anything to do that wasn't dreadfully boring?

Answer- probably not. I had, by now, explored every nook and cranny of this castle. And, no matter how beautiful it was, I was getting tired of seeing the same thing every single day. What I needed was a little change of scenery, maybe a breath of fresh air. That was it! I could go outside and play. Maybe I could even find Mr. Tumnus, and he could come along too..

Before I knew it, my feet were taking the stairs two at a time as I made a mad dash for the main door. My brown hair flew out behind me as my black play-shoes clicked on the marble, signaling to anyone within at least ten feet that I was coming.

Soon, the door was in sight. I even had my hand on the soft, polished wood and was about to pull it open, when another hand fell over mine and stopped me.

"Sorry, Lu…" Peter said, gently shutting the door the little distance that I had managed to crack it open. "We've all got to stay inside today. One of the centaurs spotted a wolf roaming around the woods, and there's talk that some of Jadis's followers might still be lurking. It isn't safe."

I pouted. Why did everything have to be unsafe on the one day that I wanted to have fun? It wasn't fair. I decided it wasn't worth arguing with my brother.

"Okay. I'll go find something else to do." I said, turning around and walking in the opposite direction. I could almost see the puzzled look on his face, just because I never gave in so easily. Everything he usually said to me always had to be followed by the question why. And if I didn't like the answer, I just ignored the order. Maybe it was a little rebellious streak. But, like when I had first discovered the wardrobe, I wouldn't give up until Peter and Susan and even Edmund believed me.

I wasn't going to argue with Peter about it. I just wasn't going to listen to him.

One night, I had stayed up late eating sweets with Susan. In a fit of sugar-induced silliness, she had shown me a door in the kitchen that led right out into the 'backyard' of the palace. Apparently, it was only used in case of an emergency, so that all of the servants could get to safety. I was planning to use it for a little escape of my own.

I had become an expert at sneaking around. Well, not an expert, per say, but I had gotten very used to it. The cooks hardly even noticed I was there, nor did they hear the quiet click of the door as I left. Finally, freedom!

I went back to spinning around in circles, just like I had been doing until I had bumped into Susan. Only now, there was nothing to bump into, and nothing to stop me. Could I spin forever? Maybe I could, but not today. After only a minute or less, I fell down because I was so dizzy. The green grass caressed my cheeks and tickled, just a little, enough to make me laugh and open my eyes.

Only to find the body of a huge wolf leaning over me.

I would have screamed, but his teeth were around my throat so quickly that I didn't dare. What might have been a call for help just died into a whimper, and my hands dug into the earth fearfully. This was bad, this was really bad…

"Don't scream." The wolf said in a rough voice, as he removed his jaws from being dangerously close to my jugular. "I want you to get up and act like nothing has just happened. Call for your brother to come down here, because you have slipped and hurt yourself. Do not move from this spot or run back inside, or I will chase you down into the ground."

I did not protest. How could I?

"Peter! Peter!" I yelled, watching as he poked his head out of one of the upstairs windows. "Peter… Peter, come down here… please, I think I hurt myself…" The wolf was nowhere to be seen. I assumed that he was concealing himself in one of the nearby shrubs, just waiting for the right moment…

My eldest brother didn't even shout down a lecture to me, he just left the window and probably darted for the stairs. How awful of the wolf to exploit his weakest point- seeing me, Susan or Edmund in any sort of pain. Now there were tears in my eyes, as though I was genuinely hurt.

"What's…" I watched as he burst out of the same door I had come in, barely getting a word out before he too was tackled to the earth. I jumped to my feet, only to be pushed back down again, this time by a different wolf. The one who had pinned me before was now deep in conversation with Peter.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day…" He growled, licking his lips and running his tongue over his teeth. "The day that I could get my revenge on the false king. For Jadis. For all of us. Soon, you will be high above nothing. Just buried in as shallow a grave as I can find, in a place where not even your sisters can mourn your passing…"

I could not hear what Peter said in response. I couldn't bear to. This was all my fault, all mine! Why did I have to be so stupid and disobey him? Suddenly, I felt the weight on my chest lighten as the wolf climbed off.

"Yes, let the young one get close. Let her see how her brother is to die, so that she can be forewarned. Let us have a witness to see the rebirth of the White Witches's followers." The leader said as I crawled over on my knees. I looked into Peter's eyes and found them to be completely devoid of fear. He was about to die! Didn't he feel any sort of emotion?

The wolves jaw's lowered themselves around his neck slowly, and I reached for his hand and squeezed it. It was too late now; there was nobody that I could call for help. And I still continued to cry, even though it seemed like the look on his face was begging me not to. It was, apparently, his time to die, though he was far too young.

After this, I don't remember much. There was a crash of metal and a cry of pain, followed quickly by the sound of a sword slicing through the air, and then a loud whimper. Silence. Nothing but dreadful silence after that, which then gave way to high, keening cries.

––––––––-

"Peter?" I said, holding out my arms to embrace my brother. We were outside once again and it had been six years since that incident in the gardens, but I'd never forgotten it. I was now what Susan called 'a young lady', but I wasn't at all embarrassed about hugging my brother.

"Lucy." He pulled me out of his arms so that he might look into my eyes, with a dreadfully stern look on his face. "After that day… that day with the wolf. You promised me, Lucy. You promised me when the time came, you would go back to Spare 'Oom. I let you grow up here and now that time has come. You need to go back."

I was shocked. How could he make me leave Narnia? Leave him and Edmund and Susan behind? I couldn't! It was horrible to even think about! But there was something equally as terrible that I couldn't do. I couldn't disobey him again.

"I'll go." I said quietly, now knowing why he had made me pack up all my things. He had not been intending to send me away on a little vacation, but rather on a long one. Back home. Everything about Spare 'Oom had become a distant memory in my mind, but…

But I trusted Peter. And this time, I'd have the wisdom to listen to him.