Disclaimer: Horatio, and the CSI team are not mine. They belong to CBS, etc.

New Places

Allison thumped her head against her pillow as she turned onto her back once more, staring up at the ceiling of her new apartment. The wind gusted outside her window, making the heavy curtains sway, glimpses of the lights of Miami glinting in the night. A car driving by, the distant sound of a siren, the air conditioner in the main room kicking over. No sounds of another human in the room, or even in the unit.

"Damnit," she muttered, closing her eyes again. Even exhausted by a day of moving, and unpacking furniture, she couldn't sleep alone anymore. Hard to change the habits of a lifetime. Over thirty years of military service, sleeping in barracks, or in an apartment with one or another of her fellows; thirty years to get used to the sounds of another human in the same room, or the next room over.

Over thirty years since she felt this alone as she tried to sleep.

She sighed, crawling out of bed, and padding out onto the balcony, leaning against the rail as she looked out over the city street. The summer air wrapped around her, warmer than her last posting, almost comforting as she focused on the memories stirred up as she tried to sleep alone.

The doctors hadn't treated her like a monster, and her grandmother had stayed with her during the procedure. Promised her that she'd never tell anyone about this trip, about what the real graduation present had been.

It didn't chase away the empty feeling once they left the clinic, though, as she tried to remind herself that she had plenty of time for a second chance. Didn't comfort her as she curled in a ball on the hotel bed, trying to sleep, telling herself that she couldn't have decided any other way, once she found out that her care in taking precautions against this end hadn't been enough. Didn't pry the cold fist from around her heart as they returned to New York, and she said goodbye to her boyfriend before leaving to enlist in the Airforce, and chase her dreams of flight and travel.

Allison shook her head, a grimace crossing her face. She'd found something to fill that empty part of her soul in flying and taking care of the planes. Thought she had, at least. Until tonight. Maybe it had just been the people always around her, never alone unless she was flying, and then she never had time to worry about emotions she tried to bury.

"Could have told him. Could have married him," she murmured to herself, wanting to hear the sound of a voice, even if only her own. "Could be a cop's wife, instead of chasing the sky like I dreamed. Or his widow." She chuckled quietly, shifting her weight to lower herself to the concrete, her back against the glass door. Tilting her head back, she looked up at the night sky, picking out stars here and there, idly wondering what had happened to the cute, oh-so-serious boy she'd left in New York to go chasing her dreams.

"What did you do with your life, Horatio? Did you get into the police acadamy, where you had your heart set? Marry some pretty girl and have a family?" She snorted softly, a wry smile touching her lips. "Hopefully you forgot about that headstrong girl who went chasing the sky, and now sits on her balcony talking to herself because she can't get old memories to leave her alone long enough to sleep."

Allison woke with a start at the sound of a door slamming, blinking at the early-morning sunlight reflected off the building across the street. "Christ on a fucking pogo-stick,"she muttered, rubbing sleep out of her eyes before trying to lever herself upright. She'd meant to soothe her mind, not pass out, coming out to look at the sky.

She chuckled, glancing up at the clear blue sky. "Still my best and truest love, aren't we, my lovely lady? Soothed me right off to dream-land." Allison shook her head, rubbing her bum to restore circulation to the numb part of her anatomy as she limped into her apartment. "Shower, jog, breakfast, hanger," she murmured, heading for the bathroom.

"Al! How are you settling in to your new place?" Rick smiled at Allison as she knocked on the open door to his office, waving her in.

"Miss the snoring." Alilson chuckled as she settled into the empty seat next to his desk. "Still trying to wrap my mind around the concept that I'm a civilian now. Confused one of the other joggers on the beach when he asked for the time."

"You've only been retired for a month, Al." Rick shrugged, leaning back in his seat. "You'll adjust."

"Eventually, yeah, I know." Allison grimaced. "I just forgot how lonely it can be. Civilian life. Had a bitch of a time trying to sleep last night, all alone in the apartment. Too used to sleeping in shared quarters, one way or another." She quirked one corner of her mouth up in a half-grin. "Ended up sleeping on the balcony."

Rick snorted, shaking his head at her. "Always after that sky of yours, Al."

"What else would I want, Rick?" Allison grinned, the corners of her eyes crinkling. "She's my best and truest love, she is. And I believe you said if I retired my sorry sky-chasing arse down to sunny Miami, you'd have a job for me I'd love as much as military life. Or better."

"Now, Al, you know I wouldn't dissapoint you." Rick nodded his head to the metal wall that seperated them from the hanger. "Doc says I shouldn't be flying with the meds he's started me on. Not yet, anyway. And I've been thinking I need another pilot to teach these civilians how to fly those babies."

"Me? Teach people how to fly?" Allison let out a bark of laughter. "Or do mean infect them with the desire to go flying off into that broad blue swath of freedom?"

"Ah, I know you can manage both, if anyone can." Rick chuckled. "You're the most enthusiastic pilot I've met, Al. Wouldn't let anyone tell you to keep your feet on the ground, even if it meant taking risks with your career."

Allison shrugged, leaning back in the chair. "Dreamed of planes and the sky all my life, and the idea of being a flight attendent never really appealed to me. It just isn't the same as flying small aircraft, with only you and the sky." She sighed happily. "Give me time to think about it. Enjoy my retirement for a while."

"You'll be back before the week's over, Al. If only to rent a plane for a few hours." Rick shrugged. "You're always welcome here, you know. And at the house. Emily would love if you'd come by for dinner some night."

"How is she doing, Rick?" Allison leaned forward again, noting the small frown that had accompanied Rick's words.

"She has her bad days, and her good days. Been more bad days than good recently, though." Rick scrubbed one hand through his greying blond hair. "The meds are slowing the progress down, but she's still slipping away a little at a time."

"I wish I could do something." Allison grimaced, glad that the only health issue she knew of in her family wouldn't take away her sense of self before her body failed entirely. Unlike Emily, her mind slowly slipping away to the ravages of Alzheimer's. "Why don't I come by this afternoon? Miami's sights aren't going to vanish in one day, and it's not like I know anyone else down here as well as I know you and Emily."

Rick was silent for a moment, before he shook his head. "Enjoy your afternoon, Al. We'll be glad to see you at dinner, but don't you go getting yourself all frustrated by visiting Emily right now. It's enough that her own family has to deal with her forgetting who they are." He gave her a small smile. "Not going to drag a sky chaser like you down to earth like that."

"Really, Rick, it's not a problem." Allison shrugged, rubbing her hands on the arms of the chair a moment. "But since you insist, I'll go take myself around Miami for the afternoon." She ran one hand through her hair as she stood, resisting the urge to salute him like she had last time she saw him. "See you for dinner, Rick."

"Tonight, Al." Rick nodded a goodbye as she headed out of the office, the smile fading back to the worried expression that he'd worn earlier.