Objects in the rear view mirror

Disclaimer: Guiding Light, Olivia Spencer, Natalia Rivera, Emma Spencer, Rafe Rivera, Frank Cooper and Gus Aituro and all associated characters are all property of Proctor & Gamble and TeleNext. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 1

Rafe sat in his cell, staring at the shadows formed by the forays of the external searchlights, pondering his Ma's visit. Emma was a sweet kid and it was obvious that she had become a permanent resident in his Ma's generous heart. But what had surprised him was the warmth that this knowledge brought him, seeing her able to think of someone other than him, he'd expected to feel jealous.

Although he drew strength from her devotion, it sometimes smothered him and Rafe often wondered if she would ever let him grow up and leave her. Not that he had any imminent plan to do so, but one day he would have to and it worried him that she would have nothing to replace him. He had been so terrified that his being here, in prison, away from her for only the second time in their lives, would cause his Ma to crumble, to become a shadow of herself. If he was honest he'd expected to see Father Ray at her shoulder, not Olivia, she'd always run to her faith in the past. He'd often felt weighted down with the responsibility of being the centre of his Ma's world, her expectations, her dreams, his failures. He'd often wished that he wasn't an only child, that someone could take some of her focus from him. He didn't want it gone, he wasn't a fool, but now and again would be cool.

He laughed to himself as he recalled his amateur attempts to get his Ma and his Chicago softball coach together, he'd really worshipped the guy, figured that he was just the someone to share his Ma's attentions and his Ma had seemed so alone. But his nine year old dreams of giving them both a true family were quickly dashed. Despite Carlo's very apparent early interest, his Ma hadn't let the guy so much as hold her hand. All of his overtures and Rafe's not so subtle pushes, were quietly blocked, until finally they both acceptance that a simple friendship was all that his Ma was prepared to allow. Carlos became a family friend and a year later his Ma had introduced him to Fern. Rafe wore his first suit and tie at their wedding - laughing at his memory of that deep blue crushed velvet suit, matching white waistcoat and kipper tie - he questioned where her dress sense had gone on that day?

Rafe laughed to himself; over the years he'd actually come to realise that he didn't know his Ma as well as he thought he did; every now and again, his Ma had made a decision that would initially confuse him, making him re-evaluate just who he thought his Ma was. But hell, over the past year, there seemed to have been more of those decisions than ever before, Springfield had shown him parts of his Ma he'd never seen before, some he'd never wanted to see. He couldn't recall when he'd stopped thinking of her as super human, he'd seen her vulnerability, her self doubts, her fears; she'd slowly become a person and not just his Mother.

He'd been so ready to hate Olivia, to blame her for Gus' death, to back his Ma in whatever she decided to do to the woman. But she'd wrong footed him yet again, giving that Olivia his Fathers heart, he sure as hell hadn't seen that one coming. Rafe had followed Olivia for a three or was it four days after she was released from the hospital, he told himself that he'd been saying goodbye to Gus, it was less scary than questioning the darkness that had filled him before he shot Jeffrey. He'd seen her with her daughters and she was completely different in mother mode, almost as if she had been possessed by Carol Brady, but when it came to everyone else he'd soon seen the Diva he knew. He'd begun to think of her like one of those two headed dogs that guarded the entrance to hell.

Olivia still confused the hell out of him, he just didn't get her, but it seemed his Ma did and if he was honest he'd rather have her on their side. She'd yelled at him and he'd yelled at her so often in the early months, which had suited him just fine. Then she'd begun to remind him of a foul mouthed Sister Veronica, always pulling him up on his shit and making him think about stuff. So when she'd turned up alone to visit him in that first hell hole, he hadn't known how to deal with Olivia's apparent concern and then to really muddy his view of her, she'd become a full on power player, check mating the Governor to get him moved to another prison. Today she'd turned up at the prison with his prescription, quietly offering his Ma back up and a goofy grin. Who the hell was Olivia 'freakin' Spencer and what did she want with his Ma?

His 'munchkin' cousin had begun sending him pictures and sweet notes almost two months ago now. At first hand drawn colourful pictures of the farm, the house and the ducks; Emma's ducks.... each one with a carefully chosen name.... although some sincerely bemused him... who on earth named a duck Hercule? But he'd grown to treasure her quirky ways and in last month or so, much to his joy, she'd begun to include photo's in her parcels.

Slowly his Ma's visits had become littered with references to Olivia and Emma. When she had first used the term Family, he had been more than a little uncomfortable, but he had stopped himself from saying anything. Now when she wasn't talking about the day he would join them at the farmhouse, she was telling him about Emma's adventures and indirectly her friendship with Olivia. Whilst he wasn't ready to accept his mothers eager 'family' label, he understood why his Ma needed it, especially now.

It had been weird at first to see his Ma living on a farm, she'd always been such a city girl, scared of spiders and bemused by his need to jog on anything that wasn't a tarmac road bathed with street lights. But he guessed that despite her upbringing, his Ma was like so many others who had lived in the close quarters of low rent Chicago, in that she shared their dream of an idyllic country life. One photo in particular had caught his eye; the three of them on the sofa, New Year he'd guessed, he'd been so relieved to see such happiness in his Ma's eyes. Olivia had looked a lot less like a member of the Swiss family Spencer in that one, she'd actually looked relaxed - it had been puzzling, but not scary enough to cause him more than a moments pause, as he perused the story Emma's photo's attempted to tell. His Ma's visits, often filling in the gaps.

'Okay now that there... that had been officially weird'. Why on earth would they both think it was okay to leave Emma's school presentation and rush to his bedside, what was he a baby, but more importantly why the devil had they both come? His Ma he'd have understood, but what was Olivia doing here? Could his Ma's constant 'family' preaching bent, have gotten to her too? No way... No freakin way... but what if....

Rafe shifted to his right, ignoring the weird noise of hospital bed sheets as best he could, lost in his own disbelief. Olivia had actually looked embarrassed and confused, when he'd chided them for leaving Emma alone. Casting his mind back he tried to think of a single occasion when he'd actually seen that woman look anything close to embarrassed, but nothing came to mind. Not once when he'd yelled at her, called her out, accused her, not once when he'd spied on her - nothing not even a momentary slip that showed even a fraction of self doubt. He didn't trust Olivia, no secret there, she hadn't given him reason to, but he trusted his Ma and she seemed to trust Olivia.

And what was with that concerned look she kept throwing his Ma? Was there something wrong with her? It was official his Ma's new found friendship was really beginning to bug him, he needed to get Olivia alone, he needed to know what she was up to.

Chapter 2

Doris had been quickly scanning her calender, as 'Bradley the Stork' knocked and opened her office door. "Yes?" she barked.

"Ahhh this may be of interest to you." He offered in mid flinch, before passing the Mayor several sheets of paper and waiting expectantly.

She really hated it when people hovered over her. Maybe if she put her desk on a dais; that way she'd always be looking down, instead of straining her neck to look at this growth hormone overdose.

Glancing down at the top sheet she immediately caught the bold blue title, 'my two mommies' and her heart hitched into her throat, stealing herself not to look at 'The Stork', she couldn't stop her mind from momentarily running rampant, [why the hell had he passed her this? did he know something? was this an opening gambit? Get a grip Wolf, he's a political cave man, that's why you hired him, that and his fathers substantial donations].

Flicking through the pages she found herself even more confused as she saw [Emma, Olivia and what was that woman's name – Rafe's mother? - Natalia, that was it. Why on earth... huh... I'm missing something]. Flipping back to the front sheet she noted the line at the bottom of the page – 'What makes my family unique, by Emma Spencer, Class 3N.'

"What the hell is this - A kids project?" Doris mumbled before she could help herself.

"Yes it was posted on the schools website last night." The Stork replied obviously excited about the whole thing for some reason that escaped her. "We.... I mean you.... could use this. You were looking for a way to get that liberal Jennings off the school board, without being accused of you know – dirty tricks."

Doris stared at the man, unsure and just a little scared of where this was going. But Bradley seemed oblivious to her discomfort as he continued.

"Well.. if we hit him with you know...."

[He winked, the guy actually winked at me and what's with that eyebrow thing... do i look like the type of woman who..... ]

"The active promotion of - 'alternative lifestyles' - in our liberal ruled school system...."

[Did he just throw finger quotes at me... Oh my god, he did]

" ...some of his prep school dirty laundry could be aired, you know discovered by the over eager press, without us having to out him as a shirt lifter, which I know you thought could rebound badly on us – dirty campaigning and all that." Obviously enthused and certain that for once he'd found something Doris needed, he stared at her expectantly.

Shocked didn't really do justice to the numb feeling that washed over her. Doris had always known that one day this could happen, but she'd gotten this far and she was damned if she was going to get derailed by her past, okay not so much past, there was last weekend for one thing and that was definitely not for public consumption.

Jennings had been a thorn in her side for years, everyone on her staff knew about his private life, his open secret, you'd think the guy was Rock Hudson or something, but he kept to the code, you didn't out someone who could out you and she'd been fine with that, keeping her own guys in line. Could she really risk setting some over eager print hound loose with this, could she risk that kind in depth investigation into the private lives of Springfield's political elite, because that's where it could go. Keep you friends close – yeh right, like she had friends and your enemies closer, oh yeh, she definitely had those. Decision made.

"So you think a mud slinging match over a kids school project is going to derail Jennings, do you? You could spin this could you? You could control how the press report the story?" she asked, raising a condescending eyebrow at the current thorn in her side.

Bradley gave her a somewhat hesitant nod, obviously eager to be given the lead on this little project. [you Marinated Numnut – If you had any idea how to do this safely, you'd have checked me out first, like Jennings did and then you'd know who you were dealing with. I'd be dead meat, not the sitting here deciding if I should grill or stew you]

"So Mr Spin Doctor, the press and enquiring minds would like to know - exactly how does dragging an eight year old into the political arena, help your candidate to retain the moral high ground."

Bradley fidgeted, but paused, obviously trying to think on his feet.

[that'll be a first]

"Would you care to comment as to why a member of the Mayors personal staff feels it appropriate to regularly browse school websites."

[What I need here is cousins marrying cousins; IQ down the toilet]

Bradley eyes bulged and his skin visibly paled at the questions inference.

[oh yeh, that got him]

"Does Mayor Wolf feel it approriate to appoint someone with such an... unusual interest Springfield's minors, to such a sensitive position?"

Bradley was now coughing and sweating, his mouth opening and closing like a demented fish.

[Oh this is just too easy....]

Chapter 3

Frank sat at the bar sipping his coffee as the last of the dinner crowd slowly made their way out of Company, he'd clear up when they were gone. He'd liked the late shift, it suited him far more than the mornings hurly burly. And today had been a humming day, everything had ticked along, in just the way he wished more days would. Nothing hectic, no drama's, heck he'd even had a half honest conversation with Olivia 'freakin' Spencer.

Laughing to himself, he realised that despite their past and oh boy did they have one, he'd actually enjoyed talking to this almost good as new, but somehow different Olivia. The little peak into her sudden change of lifestyle – and what a change it was - had amused him no end. He was sure his Dad would have chided him for enjoying Olivia's obvious confusion as much as he did, but what Buzz didn't see he couldn't comment on.

He still couldn't imagine high rolling Olivia living in peaceful coexistence with salt of the earth Natalia, talk about opposites. It should have been a recipe for disaster, to have those two live together. But they were doing it, well there hadn't been a blood bath yet and despite all her protestations that it was because Emma loved it, Frank was pretty damn sure Olivia was enjoying the change of pace too.

What was it Olivia had said, oh yeh "Yes, I like living on a farm, can you believe it?", she hadn't added living on a farm with Natalia, but he had seen how upset she was at the idea of having to leave and he suspected that it wasn't the red bricks, the ducks or the cows that she was loathed to leave. She'd actually described her home with Natalia as being somewhere that she and her daughter belonged. He'd actually felt sorry for her - when she'd bluntly informed him that she hadn't found a home, because it belonged to Natalia and Rafe, they were just visiting.

If you'd asked him only last year what could make Olivia a happy woman, he'd have pumped for a penthouse in New York or taking over the Spaulding Mansion, never in a million years would he have said living with the woman she used to hate, on a farm, playing at house.

Natalia just had a way of making people relax. Frank wasn't fooled, no one could spend time with Natalia and not be infected by her faith, her generosity and her goodness. Olivia had actually offered to give her poker winnings to charity, where the hell had that come from? Where indeed, he grinned.

He'd been so worried about Natalia after Rafe had gone to Prison and at first more than a little irritated at her for being at Olivia's beck and call. But today when she'd asked him to look after Natalia, Olivia had gone on to describe a woman he hardly recognised.

True Natalia had always presented herself as quiet, shy and unprepossessing, but she'd survived Alan Spaulding's interest in her family, Gus' death and now Rafe's imprisonment. He suddenly realised that her quiet as a church mouse routine was actually a defence mechanism, camouflage, she was stronger, yep far stronger than she looked. He'd underestimated the woman - aww hell she'd taken on Olivia over her health and won. And somewhere along the line Olivia the poker shark, had seen through that quiet exterior, who'd have guessed. Why couldn't Olivia just accept that this was good for her, that Natalia was good for her, he hadn't seen either of them happier in a long time.

Chapter 4

Rebecca Jennings enjoyed the swelling of emotion that rose within her, as she watched Emma begin her presentation. It was days like this that filled her internal scrapbook, that she would rely upon in her sunset years. She felt awestruck each and every time it happened, a young healthy and inquisitive mind unfettered by the stagnant opinions of others, speaking from the heart.

When she'd first started teaching, she'd thought herself as responsible for opening the eyes and minds of her young charges, of filling in the blank pages of their hungry young minds, by helping to send them out into the world free of prejudice, confident that they didn't need to judge others, to feel good about themselves. But she'd soon realised that her students, despite their tender years, didn't arrive with fresh minds. Their so called blank pages already scribbled upon by well meaning and protective parents.

She'd watched so many parents feigning interest, eager for evenings like this to end or here to compete via their child. Looking at the two women in the front row, she noted their joined hands and sighed. [That there, that simple action, how could that do anyone harm, how was that wrong?] She couldn't stop her romantic heart from fluttering at how sweetly attentive Ms Spencer was, it just filled her with joy to see two people so at ease with themselves, so committed to each other and their daughter.

It grated with her that in this day and age, Graham's Uncle Burt still felt the need to live in the closet, after all his years of public service, after everything he'd done for this school district, he still feared the opinions of others. He could learn a thing or two from this couple.

Then she saw it, that all to familiar glance to check what other people thought and... [oh my, she's nervous...scared! Why on earth is she... oh that's my favourite photo of them, they just look so sweet.... Oh my goodness, were they in the closet, I just assumed that they'd encouraged Emma to call them both Mommy, because... but what if... did I just help Emma to out her parents?!?]

She'd promise herself that she wouldn't corner them, but she needed to somehow assure them, to somehow explain. She could hardly leave Miss Spencer looking so confused and hesitant. Stealing herself, she grabbed a glass of punch and moved towards the frowning woman, only to notice that her partner appeared to be saying goodbye.

[See... look what you've done Rebecca Jennings, with your 'I know best'], Smiling warmly at Emma's other Mommy as she left, she attempted to throw an equalling warm and welcoming smile at Ms Spencer. "Well now, have I been dying to talk to you."

"Mrs Jennings." the woman responded, her forced smile doing nothing to convince Rebecca that anything had changed and her nervous, "Now about Emma's presentation" only serving to assure her that she had been right.

[Ahh, the poor dear, she really was worried] "Not to worry, our school prides itself on diversity." seeing a suddenly raised eyebrow, she quickly added, "Not just token differences for the sake of funding, but real diversity." Trying to instil her words with as much sincerity as she could. [Dammit she shouldn't have to feel like this]

"And I think that's great, I really do..." she mumbled.

[Good start. Okay] "I can't tell you, how moved I was when I saw you squeeze your partners hand."

"Oh no, she's not..." [Keep going, let her know that you respect their relationship]

"comforting her, helping her when there was news about her son. Oh yes I saw it, and so did everyone else." [It was lovely, I'm sure we all think your both lovely]

"Oh no you di-n't." the woman protested [good lord - they were in the closet! What have I done?] "What you saw, what everybody saw, its not what you think..."

Rebecca's mind scrambled for something to say, something to let this woman know that she didn't have a problem.... that she wasn't going to be a problem...[I've probably made them feel like a science project]... how do I let her know that I'm not thinking what she obviously thinks I'm thinking..... "My cousin Todd is gay" [Dammit why did I go there, everyone goes there and it never helps] "He and Michael just got married, [find me a hole to crawl into, I can't believe how badly I suck at this] in Connecticut, it was the loveliest ceremony"

"I'm so glad it was.... I like..... yes.... that's good for them. But I think - you need to understand, we're not um …."

[Mr Cranford, thank God ….. thank you..... just thank you]

TBC