Life was unfair. It seemed to strangle and crush any sign of happiness, destroying tranquility and contentment everywhere it saw fit. Even if one had somehow managed to obtain some obscure form of joyous existence, it would surely not last forever, as Death would soon claim them and their obliviously gleeful lifestyle. Life was unfair, because after all these years of pain and suffering, the Winchesters were still forced to endure heartbreak and hardships, adversity after adversity piling onto the already bone-crushing weight that sat atop their shoulders. Life was unfair, because Castiel, despite everything he had sacrificed for Sam and Dean, and for the sake of the mortal world, was still going to perish in a matter of months, seeing as how the grace inside him was slowly deteriorating. Life was unfair, because the terminal angel had found himself undoubtedly and unconditionally in love with Dean Winchester, and in his current demon state, Cas was almost positive that love was physically impossible for Dean to even consider.
In fact, the only feelings Castiel ever picked up from Dean nowadays were hateful ones, contempt and resentment boiling in the demon's blood at the very sight of him. The angel knew not why Dean despised him so much, only that the ex-hunter harbored some sort of irrational loathing towards the angel. Castiel would not have minded much, would have simply disregarded his heartache and regret to push forward into more important things, but with his life fading away, his chances of making Dean aware of his feelings went along with it. He knew that the sentiment in and of itself was not of import, and would most likely drive Dean's hatred to new levels entirely, but there was something about the thought of dying with a secret, something about never getting to say the words, 'I love you, Dean Winchester,' that made Castiel uncomfortable in ways he couldn't explain. It made him feel… Incomplete. As if all his sacrifices meant nothing if he could not at least tell the hunter- now, demon- all that churned inside his mind. Castiel knew very well that Dean, as a human, at least, despised himself. The angel wondered for a moment if that would change, even in the slightest, should Dean know that at least one person loves him. Two, if he believed that Sam did as well.
Even so, Cas still could not bring himself to admit it, even when their battles and wars were at a lull, and his emotions would not compromise the safety of anyone's life. The angel had no idea what kept him from it- perhaps the prospect of Dean loathing him even more, of dying with the knowledge that Dean Winchester found him revolting- but nonetheless, the words continued to get caught in his throat. As a result, the angel had come to dread each meeting with the Winchesters, praying to an absent God that Dean would be compliant, or not even present at all. He had grown accustomed to Sam's company, even comforted by it, finding that the younger Winchester seemed to anchor his brother and his violent attitude. Now, as the angel waited patiently outside the brothers' motel room- one in which they stayed as they worked through a simple case, most likely to take their mind off of the more difficult matters- Castiel still hoped beyond belief that Sam would be present, if not the only person in the room at all.
To his luck, but not to his surprise, Dean was the one to open the door.
"Cas." The demon greeted stiffly, reluctantly stepping aside to allow Castiel entry. Dean huffed out a sigh, his eyebrow twitching upwards as his gaze swept over the angel, watching almost intently as Cas shuffled into the motel room.
"Hello, Dean," Castiel started, pressing his lips together as he momentarily looked over the surrounding area for the younger Winchester.
"Sammy's out. Gone to get food," Dean supplied when he noticed Castiel's desperate search of the room, smirking a bit at the amusement he found in how uncomfortable Cas seemed to be, "What's brought you down to our side of town, then, huh? Thought you were working on the whole, 'renovation of heaven' deal." The demon scoffed, all but slamming the door shut and sauntering over to one of two beds.
"I-…" Castiel sighed, eyes flickering over to Dean, watching as he settled on the edge of the poorly supported motel mattress, "I come with important news."
"That so?" Dean eyebrow raised again, a soft clicking noise sounding out as the demon sucked in a short huff of air through closed teeth, "What kinda news?"
"Important news. I have just stated that." Castiel replied, accompanied by a small tilt of his head.
Dean rolled his eyes, elbows resting against his knees as the demon's hand came up to slide across his face, looking sincerely pained by every word that slipped past Cas' lips. "No, Cas. Good or bad news?" He clarified begrudgingly.
"Oh," The angel responded softly, turning his gaze down to the floor, "Bad news, I believe."
"'Course," Dean huffed, shaking his head, "What other kind of news do you ever bring?"
"I… Apologize, Dean, I-"
"Just tell me what it is, okay? The sooner you're out of here, the better."
Castiel pressed his lips into a thin line, allowing a small moment of uncomfortable silence to settle between them. "It seems that a new rising power has been detected. We are unsure yet whether or not it is a demon, or another angel looking to become a new God, but we do know that this-… Being, whatever they may be, is quite violent."
"We?" Dean repeated questioningly, "Who's 'we'?"
"The angels of heaven have detected-"
"Oh, great. Your little fluffy-feathered buddies know about this?"
"Of course they do, Dean. They are the ones who informed me. Is this a bad thing…?"
"Yeah, it's a bad thing! You and your perfect little angelic army always fuck shit up, Cas. You always make it so hard for Sammy and I to do anything, and who knows how you idiots are gonna screw this up now." Dean spat, muscles tense and jaw tightening.
"I apologize, Dean," Castiel replied solemnly, "I will… Attempt to not 'screw things up' as we deal with-"
"No, you're not gonna do anything at all. You're gonna stay out of it until Sammy and I tell you otherwise. Understand?"
"Yes, Dean." The angel responded clearly and without hesitation. He was created to follow orders, after all.
"Good," The demon huffed, visibly relaxing, although turning his gaze away from Castiel. It was a long time before either of them spoke, an almost painful absence of sound drifting into the air of the small motel room. Dean opened his mouth to add something, most likely something unnecessarily cruel and belittling, when Sam slipped into the room, plastic bags slung around his arms and a rather confused look settled on his brow when he caught sight of Castiel.
"Hey, Cas…" He greeted awkwardly, dumping the food on a small table provided in the room, "What's up?" Sam asked.
"I-…" Cas began, shifting awkwardly, before bowing his head slightly and swallowing thickly, "I should go." The angel stated simply, before disappearing from the room without another word.
Hey, all! This is my first multi-chapter fanfic. I have had the idea for this swimming around in my thoughts for at least a year now, and I have planned out the important plot points in my head at least on hundred times. As for the in between, well... Let's just say, I'm still figuring it out. Obviously, I don't own any of these characters, unfortunately, so there's my little disclaimer. Friendly criticism is always appreciated! Thank you for reading, and I hope any readers enjoy what is to come!
I'm also open to requests and prompts, so feel free to shoot me a message!