Ask Madam Trelawney!

By Blue Moon

Author's Notes: Got an original character for the HP World? If so, please have him or her write a letter to Madam Sybill Trelawney.

Harry Potter characters owned by Rowling, Warner and Scholastic. Thanks, all!

***

Sybill Trelawney sighed as she counted her money. She separated the coins into stack, knuts, sickles, more knuts, even more knuts, not enough sickles and not a galleon in sight. Another heavy sigh. Well, she hadn't accepted her position to get rich, she'd been striving for respect. She hadn't received it. Well, she received the respect of some of the students, but most of the teachers, particularly that cat, McGonagall, acted as if she were a charlatan.

The lack of money or respect had forced her to go for plan 'C': fame. She had to get her name on everybody's lips somehow. The Daily Prophet seemed to be just the ticket. Ever since their pet columnist, Rita Skeeter, had retired, the circulation of the DP had dropped significantly. She'd suggested a divination column, they pointed out that they had one. Trelawney had countered with an advice column. The Editor of the Daily Prophet had pointed out that they'd had one of those, too. Inspiration struck and Trelawney had asked if the Daily Prophet had a column giving advice based on divination.

The Editor had bitten. "Send us something and we'll see if anybody is interested," she'd said.

So, Trelawney had spread the word around Hogwarts and Hogsmeade and started collecting owls. She glanced at her clock, then at her star chart. Now was the most propitious time to get to work. She picked up her first letter.

"Dear Madam Trelawney,

Why are you such a git?

Signed, Red."

Trelawney growled in the back of her throat as she grabbed her quill.

"Dear Red-haired, Freckled and Poorly Dressed,

You are supposed to ask questions about the future. Yours will be particularly bleak if you don't improve your attitude, hand in that overdue essay of yours and choose a better set of friends!

Madam Trelawney."

"Dear Madam Trelawney,

Exams in my favorite class are coming up. What should I be studying?

Signed

Flower Girl"

Trelawney grinned. She knew this lavender scented paper well.

"Dear Lavender,

The stars tell me that you should focus on the tarot for the next test.

Sincerely, Madam Trelawney."

"Dear MT,

Glad to see you have another job. Why don't you just give up Divination altogether? There's no future in it.

Signed Bibliophile."

Heavy sigh.

"My Dear Muggle Book Lover,

You still have the most mundane mind of anybody I have ever met, you overgrown chipmunk. Why don't you just crawl back to your muggle world and leave the wizarding world to the real wizards?"

Yours, Madam Trelawney."

"Dear Madam Trelawney, One of my best friends framed me for a crime I didn't commit. Will I ever be able to clear my name? Signed, Black Dog on My Shoulder"

"Dear Black Dog,

Sorry, but your future looks Grim,

Madam Trelawney."

"Dear Madam Trelawney,

You've predicted my death once a week since we met. Why aren't I dead yet?

Signed, Four Eyes."

"Oh, shut up, Potter."

To Be Continued?