Life, Her Hell that Holds Love

Disclaimer: I wish I own DC, but obviously I don't.

Word count: 1335

A/N: Hello there! This is my first multi-chaptered DC fanfic. In each chapter, I'll use a song as title and quote the lyrics. There is no specific reason for that, it's just because I love DC and I love the songs.

Also, dear all, no matter you are a ShinRan fan or a CoAi fan, prepare for heartbreak. As a writer, I am good at nothing but breaking your heart into million tiny shattered pieces. (It almost feels like my destiny...)

By the way, I'm writing in Haibara's POV. Also, no specific reason, it's just that I understand her best among all the DC characters.

Review please!

Characters: Haibara Ai (not going to call her Shiho in this fic), Kudo Shinichi, Akai Shuichi

Chapter 1: Six Degrees of Separation

The music is so loud that it pierces my ear, the people around are dancing like there's no tomorrow, the mixture of various perfumes smells awful that it hurts my nose. Good. With all around me amplified, it feels like I'm so weak and small, as if I exist no more than a silent phantom.

I hold the glass of liquor with my trembling hands, and empty whatever it is in my cup. The trembling of my hands seems to be worsening along with my headache. I can't remember what I am gulping in, letting the sensation of alcohol burns in my mouth, throat, slowly to my lungs.

Funny that they say mixing up liquor will make you get drunk a lot faster than usual, because no matter how much I drink, I can never lose my consciousness. The only thing I get is headache, severely threatening my senses, making my vision blur and hearing obscure. I smirk. Can I even stand on my feet now?

The glasses of liquor of different colour lie on the bar in front of me. I count; there are still 7 out of a dozen to go. The scent of alcohols struggle themselves out of the odour of cheap perfumes to reach my nostril, luring me to finish them one by one.

I grab another glass of unknown liquor; with my eyes closed, I pour it into my full-of-nothing-but-alcohols stomach, all the way down my throat. I'd never appreciate alcohols, never in my life, not only that the BO names the members after alcohols, but also, my first is lost, because Gin forced me to drink and raped me afterwards.

My body shivers, almost automatically as I think of the silver-haired man. I immediately drink another glass of liquor, as if it can calm me down. I'm still getting used to the fact that I'm free now, at least free from Gin.

He's dead. Two weeks ago, with the clues that Shinichi, no, Kudo managed to collect, the FBI and CIA, with the aid of Japanese police force, had successfully captured large amount of BO members, Gin and Chianti, as a result of revolting, got shot to death. Vermouth, however, remains missing, and is wanted by both FBI and CIA.

With most of the members captured and the remained flee, the BO headquarter is unoccupied and monitored by both FBI and CIA. Due to the reasons, I manage to go back to headquarter and obtain the data of APTX 4869. Shortly afterwards, with the missing piece of puzzle found, the time limit of the antidote is overcame.

Kudo and I change back to our adult form, followed by everything returning normal. Naturally, Kudo heads back to Ran.

I wished them happiness, as I saw the two of them hugged, Kudo with a genuine smile, Ran with joyful tears. I knew this is what meant to be, a happy ending, childhood valentines ending up together, like prince and princess in fairy tales.

So why am I burning in the flame of endless grief and sorrow, like a ghost being excruciated in the eternity flame of hell?

As I gulp in the 7th or 8th glass of liquor, I can't remember exactly, I lose my count, a man in his early 20's approach. I glare, finding him to be a foreigner, dirty blond shoulder length hair, round and huge hazel eyes, slightly pale full lips, 6 feet decent-built body. Attractive, but no man can be compared over him.

"Sexy, English speaking?" he flirts. It's American accent he has.

I nod, somehow grinning. Who cares if sex is exactly what in his mind? It's already not my first, and I'm going to take a flight London tomorrow night. One-night stand with an American hottie may be just what I need for a farewell.

Like I believe all that shit is gonna heal my soul, well it's not.

I'm only doing things out of desperation.

"What's nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" he asks, trying hard to sound like a big flirt. Amateur, the word crosses my mind as I sneer.

"Drinking," I say with a cold smile, raising my glass to his eye level, "don't you have eyes to see, sweetie?" I add in coquettish word and tone in my common sarcasm without any difficulty. It's never a big deal to hide what I'm truly feeling, never but around him, who sees through me...

"Well," he tries to hold back a smile which is of a mixture-of-kinky-and-shy, but fails, "can I join in your lonely circle?"

"No," I answer simply, adding flirtatious lines to calm his nerves as I see him to be at his wits end, "I'll join your lonely circle. I think you'll look good on me."

"Hey dude!" I heard a familiar man's voice speaking in English, milliseconds after I feel the uneasy feeling that rises in me every time... "What are you doing? She's my woman!"

Poor thing... The American shy boy quickly murmurs sorry and getaway. It amuses me that, moments before he thought he had got me hooked up, now all left for him is the fear of picking up a fight at a nightclub. It must hurts, how the sensation of erection in his jeans turns into the sensation of almost peeing in his jeans.

I turn around, to find no one but Akai Shuichi standing behind me. Okiya Subaru revealed himself as Akai Shuichi not long after the showdown between BO and the law enforcement authorities. Unsurprisingly, Kudo had already figured it out, sooner than anyone, when all along I only consider the theory as a suspicion.

"Leave, unless you want to take his place," I say, sounding intimidatingly. Somehow I regret speaking that way, I don't mean it. It doesn't matter with anyone else, but he's the man my sister loved.

He raises an eyebrow to me, apparently amused, like watching an eight-year-old frowning. I ignore him and continue with my drinking task. "Go home," my about-to-get-slightly-drunk mind hear him, the effect of alcohol doesn't make things vague, but make them more intense.

"What?" I smirk at his seeming concerned face, wondering since when do I have a home, before realizing he means Professor Agasa's.

"See?" Unexpectedly, he points to the other corner of the nightclub. Over the annoying disco light and bombing loud music, that person is drinking in the lounge. Despite the vision is blur, the vivid image of him makes my heart skips a beat. I gasp.

"See that guy there?" Akai raises his voice, thanks to the loud music; he needs to literally shout at me, as I'm already leaving my seat. I fight against the dizziness to stay conscious, to be able to make my way to him.

"Take him home! I'm so regret that I bring him here! Now I'll drive you two home!" The volume of his shouting grows lower, slowly taken over by the surrounding noises. Somehow I sense a small laugh let out by him, but doesn't have the heart to turn around and glare.

I feel my heart pounding fast over the beat of the music; the world seems to shut itself from reaching me. All I have in my senses is him...

"Shi..." knowing I use the wrong form of address; I call him, after some hesitation, suppressing the excitement in my tone, "Kudo."

He turns to me, and my legs weaken. I know, the alcohols I consumed just now didn't work, because I drank too fast, and now they're going to work on me, in every possible worst ways.

Our teary eyes meet each other's, to my surprise, he laughs, like he had got drunk really badly, and tears stream down on his blushing cheeks. "Kudo..." I managed to call, before he stands and hugs me, but ends up pulling me down to the lounge, as both of us lose the strength to stand still already.

"Ai..." he cried, making my heart breaks into tiny little pieces.