This is my first Pokemon story so any reviews would be helpful!
Ch.1
Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
"Uhh..." mumbled an extremely caveman-like Ash Ketchum, as he smashed the snooze button like the primitive ape he is.
"Hey fuck off, it's too godamn early for your bullshit!" he growls.
"Hey, if at all possible could you try not to break down the fourth wall so early in my story, thank you."
"Yeah, yeah... the fourth wall can shove a brick up it's ass and die in a hole for all I care. Consider it blown up, bitch."
"Also, try to cuss so much, it's a T rated fanfic."
"Yeah, yeah dick, I'll fuckin scream every goddamn fucking shitty ass word I can possibly yell at you bastard. Tell me what to do again prick," he pleasantly responds.
"Cursing privilege revoked for the rest of the chapter Ketchum."
He rolls his eyes and skillfully rolls out of bed onto his face.
Being the all powerful narrator I am, I laugh at the prick. What? You know he deserved it! Right?
He jumps up anime style and roars, "Not everyone a heartless ba**** like you? Wait what the fu**? Oh, that just fu**ing wonderful! I am so pissed and I can't even tell you what a bi*** you are due to this gay a** censorship!"
Suddenly a smirk crosses his face. He walks over to his bookshelf, spins around and gives me the finger. As soon as he does though a cenorship bar appears and covers it up.
"Screw you, pussycat avenue," he lamely states.
A huge sweatdrop appears on my face... anyway...
He suddenly asks, "Hey, what was the point of this dumb-a** chapter again?"
Right, right the story.
"Well you were supposed to go to Professor Oak's to get a Pokemon. But, it's a little late now!"
"Son of a bi***! I knew I forgot something," he screams as he put on jeans, a black shirt, and a Pokemon master logo cap.
Then he jumped over the fourth wall!? and lands outside. He dashes down the dirt road to hopefully reach the lab before all the Pokemon are gone, when he crashes into his rival.
"What do you want to name him?"
"What?" he replied dumbly.
"I said what do you want to name your rival?"
"I thought his name was Gary?" Ash said rubbing the bump on the back of his head.
"Just fucking name him boy! Are you going to make every chapter this difficult!"
He smiles cheekily and replies, "Probably, and I want to name him Ugly Small Dicked Meterosexual."
"Umm... there's only twelve spots for letters and is dicked a word even?"
He shrugs and whispers, "I don't know but if you don't shut up I'm probably gonna dicked your face, douche."
My super narrator hearing allows me to hear every single queer and incredibly wrong thing he says. I shiver..., and cry... then eat a cookie.
Anyhow... after heated debated Ketchum and myself we decided to name him Blue...
Blue Douche.
What Blue Douche was doing the entire time Ash was yelling at the heaven is unknown. However, Ash cleverly pointed out that Blue Douche was probably being a blue douche.
Anyway, as soon as the young soon-to-be Pokemon masters (did I say soon yet) soonly stood up, Blue Douche exclaims, "Hey loser. I got a Squirtle, I'm the grandon of Professor Oak, and I am a sexy beast!" he rambles on in douche-like fashion.
"Move fag, I'm late for a date with your busty sister," Ash jeers as he sidesteps and rushes past Blue Douche to the lab.
Douche stares after Ash blankly and then begins to break dance because somehow that will fix all his problems.
At the Legion of Doom, I mean Oak's Lab...
"Am I too late, Prof.? Do you have any Pokemon left?" Ash squeals.
"Yeah, I think I have one last little fucked up, inbred Pokemon left," the professor calmly states.
"Say what," says a clueless Ass Ketchup.
Prof. Oak says again, "Yeah, I think I have one last little fucked up, inbred Pokemon left."
"Oh, well good!" says an apparently inbreed Ash.
The professors goes to the backroom and returns with a pokeball containing...
Life's a bitch, so why not end the chapter with a cliffhanger?