Smack That
Summary: Ear worms are dangerous.
A/N: If you knew the last couple of days I've had, you'd understand my sincere need to write crackfic. I've officially hit that place where it can't suck anymore and everything is hysterical. And I have a sick fascination with this song.
Disclaimer: I own them. -lightening strikes- ow. okay, maybe not.
Danny Messer wasn't a big rap fan, he was more of a rock guy. He liked stuff with a loud guitar and a guy singing about the woes of love and how to avoid it. His iPod was full of Bon Jovi and Def Leppard (and since he met Lindsay Monroe, Tim McGraw). On occasion, however, a few rap songs had found residence in his music library.
"Shady. Konvict. Up front. Akon. Slim Shady. I see the one, cause she be that lady." Danny Messer mumbled along with the song that was literally shaking his earbuds. He stood in front of his locker in the New York City Crime Lab, his feet moving -sliding across the floor as he grabbed his things from his locker.
"I feel you creepin', I can see it from my shadow, wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo, maybe go over to my place and just kick it like tae bo, and possibly bend you over, look back and watch me." Danny spun around on his Converse covered feet, sliding towards the door, popping his hip and collar simultaneously.
He walked down the hallway, mumbling the words under his breath and moving his hands to the beat. He found Stella in the layout room, she was going over the evidence for the case they had started two days ago. Danny pulled up a stool and grabbed the casefile from her.
"Hey!" Stella turned, "Danny!" She yanked on his earbud until it popped out, "No iPods in the lab."
"But... Stella!" Danny frowned, knowing she was right.
"No buts, Danny. You can have it back later." She turned off the iPod and moved it to the other side of the table
"But it was just getting to Eminem's big solo!" Danny whined.
"You're seven."
"You're mean!"
--
They stood in the victims apartment and Danny was dusting the window for prints -hoping they had found their primary crime scene, "Oh! Looks like another club banger, they better hang on when they throw this thing on, get a lil drink on, they gonna flip for this Akon, you can bank it."
"Danny?" Stella came into the room, eyebrow raised.
"Pedicure, manicure, kitty-cat claws, the way she climbs up and down them poles, lookin' like one of them putty-cat dolls, tryin' to hold my-"
"DANNY!" Stella's jaw dropped.
"Stella...." Danny blushed deep red and turned around.
"Daniel Messer... why I oughta.... oooh.... you'd get drug out by your ear... gah!" Stella growled and turned around.
"Stell-uh! Don't be mad!" Danny cried after her.
--
"Smack that all on the floor, smack that, give me some more, smack that, til you get sore..." Danny sang as they drove back to the lab.
"What is with that song?" Stella asked, "I thought you didn't like rap. More importantly, I thought Lindsay didn't like rap!?"
"Well, you see, it's all Adam's fault..." Danny began.
--
It was the close of shift and Danny was in the breakroom talking with Hawkes, Lindsay and Flack. They were filling him on their latest case while waiting for Stella and Mac to get ready to go to dinner. Danny had finally managed to get 'Smack That' out of his head -unfortunately that meant replacing it with another song.
Stella Bonasera walked past the breakroom and doubled back. She pointed her finger at Danny, "You're a dead man, Messer."
"What'd I do?" Danny asked, pulling Lindsay in front of him.
"I'm in the locker room, changing. And all of a sudden, I realize I am singing!" Stella yelled, "That stupid rap song you've been muttering around all day."
"Not 'Smack That'." Lindsay turned and glared at him.
"Oh yeah, that's the one." Stella crossed her arms.
"You're so on the couch, Cowboy."
"It's all Adam's fault, he was singing it the other day!" Danny said, backing towards the door.
"Uh-huh." Stella growled, "Be lucky you're in a lab full of crime techs, Messer."
"Come on, Stell, let's go get you drunk. No shooting Danny." Flack suggested, guiding her out of the room.
"It's gonna take a lot of liquor to get this song out of my head." Stella whined.
"I know." Flack nodded sympathetically, "We'll get some, k?"
"K." Stella sighed.
They were all walking for Flack's car when Danny started singing again, "I walk into the room, passin' out hundred dollar bills..."
"NO!" They all yelled.
A/N: Hate it? me too. Srsly though, Rachel and I both got 'Smack That' in our heads so, I HAD to write a fic about it.