Thank Barbra-oh , my gosh! I just said 'Thank Barbra'. Damn it, Rachel. I'll have to have a word with her tomorrow but not now. Definitely not now. I just wantz ta get my sleep on right now. I finally get to my bed and lay my head on pillow, my soft, soft pillow after the worst day ever. Yessss. I'm finally all warm and toasty, teetering on the brink of sleep when the fucking door bell rings. It's ok. It's fine. I'm not moving. They'll go away or Rachel will get the door.

BUZZ BUZZ

"Rachel, get the fucking doorrrr. Pleaseee! I don't want to get up. I'll take you to that stupid vegan place you've been wanting to go to, just get the door."

Don't move, Santana. Do not move. Don't you dare. You deserve this. You deserve to sleep. Just close your eyes and sleep. Go. To. Sleep. Now.

"Santana, as much I would still appreciate you taking me to "I Heart Tofu," I would really reconsider opening the door. I completely assure that you will not regret answering that door."

Ignore her. I put the pillow over my head trying to block out the midget.

"Santana?"

Sleep. Sleep.

"Santana Rosario Lopez! Get out of that bed this instant. So help me, Barbra, if you do not get up by the time I count to five, I'll be extremely motivated to start my vocal exercises an hour earlier."

Son of bitch. Note to self: see if I can't Rachel sent back to the Shire tomorrow.

"Ok! Damn it, I'm up. But there better be a smoking, half-naked blonde waiting for me out there ready for me to sex her up!" I begrudgingly toss my warm covers off me and stomp my way out of my room. "Shit, Rach. I'm up, I'm up. What is that was so important that you had to drag me out of bed?" I shout out to her before I make it out of the hallway.

"Wow, the way you're talking you make it seem as if you had a half naked blonde waiting for you in that bed of yours."

My head snaps up in the direction of the voice until my eyes meet what have to be the most breath-taking eyes in the world. They're gorgeous. But it's more than just how clear and blue they are. They're telling me everything about this person. I can't believe I'm thinking this but it's like I already know everything about her just by looking into her eyes. And I love it.

"Gee, I guess you really do have a thing for smoking blondes" she says with a wink.

Smooth, Santana. Smooth. You've obviously been standing here like an idiot staring at her for God knows how long. And you're still staring at her. But, she's not looking away...

"Santana, common courtesy would have you introduce yourself with a salutation and your name... Common courtesy also dictates that you should be wearing pants when you meet someone."

"Pants? Berry, what are you talking about?" I only half ask because I honestly cannot bring myself to tear my eyes off her.

"The Avengers are all right but I prefer The Justice League." She says with a smirk on her face and her eyes move down to my crotch. Well, I'd like to think she's looking at my crotch. Maybe one day. Maybe.

Shit. I'm in my sleep-wear. My sleep-wear that consists of a t-shirt and my superhero panties. Of course I would meet the most beautiful woman to walk the face of the earth while I'm wearing my Thor panties. I'm Hispanic, I don't blush. I don't blush. Ethnic people don't blush. We don't blush. Power through it, Santana.

"No offense to Batman but I much rather have Thor sprawled across my ass, I like blondes, remember?" I try to use my flirty voice but I'm not so sure it worked. I'm pretty sure I just sounded like a 13 year old boy but I hold out my hand between us as I walk toward her "I'm Santana, by the way. And, it's been awhile since I've had a blonde here, especially one as attractive as you. So forgive me if it took me a second to adjust." Ok, Lopez. You're getting there.

"Damn, I can't compete with Thor, can I? Brittany. Brittany S. Pierce. Nice to meet you." She says as she shakes my hand. Oh my gosh, her hands are so soft. What is wrong with me? I don't do this. I don't say this stuff. Get your head in the game, Lopez.

"I don't know, you're doing good so far." And with my wink, I'm officially back.

"Santana, Brittany here is our new neighbor. She was kind enough to bring over a corn casserole this evening and a stuffed unicorn, for some reason." Rachel chimed in as she set the casserole on the table. "However, seeing as you're obviously so tired, I highly doubt you'll be joining us for dinner-"

"NO! I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm awake. Just let me go change into something less, I don't know. Just let me change and I'll join you two."

"Don't change on my account." Brittany says as her eyes size me up. "I think I can tolerate Thor for a couple hours."

She's good. She's really good.

But I'm better.

I step closer to her and completely violate her personal space but I don't care. She already checked me out in my panties and she's obviously not stopping me from getting closer. I lean right next to her ear and in my sex voice I say "Don't worry, with the way things are going you're bound to see me in them again before you know it." I hear her fail at trying to suppress a moan. Wow, I am good.

I walk away, trying to sway my hips a little more than usual and I swear I can feel her eyes on my ass. I don't blame her it's a nice ass.