Eternal
******
Hey this is a repost, I took the whole thing offline and edited it .please review!
Disclaimer: don't forget me!!! *I am a disclaimer and therefore I disclaim myself*
******
Part one: Found
SongFic: Imaginary by Evanescence
"I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming
Monsters calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story..."
I am Amber Starr, Formerly known as Relena Darlain Peacecraft. I had left everything that I once was behind me and opened up an occult store that specialized in herbal products. After getting my degree in Herbalism I turned away and never looked back. I gave birth to my daughter and opened my business that now thrived. It had taken a while but I had rebuilt my life, and I was damned proud of what I had done.
My hair was different now too. It was finally long enough for me, down to my knees and I had dyed my hair red with green and blue streaks in it. Although it may not have matched too well, it certainly made for an interesting statement. My skin was very dark from hours of work in the greenhouses and from playing in the sun with my daughter. You would never be able to tell that it had once been pale as porcelain before if you did not know it. I dressed like a gypsy, or perhaps if you allowed the stretch, like a witch might have many years ago.
The sidewalk was just as crowded as it usually was, perhaps more so. I pushed my way through the crowds holding my daughter in my arms. She looked so much like her father, and she had the deepest prussian blue eyes that could become almost silver at times. I sidestepped away from the baker who shoved bread in my face hoping to sell his goods and muttered my no-thank- you. It was a hassle to make my way to and from work now a days, while the tourists were out in full force.
If it was tourist season, I thought to myself grumpily, why couldn't you just shoot the tourists and get it over with? Because it would be bad business said that cocky and ever so perfect voice inside my head. "Fuck you" I muttered out loud. My daughter stirred in her sleep, and I was glad that she wasn't awake to hear me with such foul language.
"In my field of paper Flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me..."
I loved England. I had left America and my former life behind me. I was better off that way. I only kept casual contact with my sisters, mostly because they couldn't afford to come and see me and talk to me as often as they would have liked. I didn't want anything to do with the person I had been. I wanted nothing to do with the other people I had left behind, and it was only out of courtesy that I kept in touch with my family.
My world came crashing down around me when I heard a familiar male voice shouting for me, for the person I had been. "Relena, Relena please let that be you!" Cautiously I glanced over my shoulder to see a familiar man pushing his way through the crowds trying to get to me, but I was no longer the woman he called out for. I walked faster trying not to bring attention to myself, daring for once to wish that I would blend in. How the hell had he recognized me, and for that matter how had he found me at all? It was a pity I couldn't disappear into thin air.
He called me again and I broke out into a run. I didn't want him finding me, Great Goddess of all people why would it have to be him to come after me. Even though I had had a child I was still agile and quick on my feet. But my daughter was heavy, and she was slowing me down little by little. My heartbeat quickened and I ran faster. He could not find me I would not allow it. I had worked to hard and for too long to gain some piece of mind and escape him!
But he hadn't changed much either, and he caught up with me quickly. He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around. I screamed and my knees gave way at the sudden contact, and he held me up for the few moments it took to regain my composure. I stood there helpless, shaking with fear. It was a good thing the child in my arms slept so soundly; he didn't seem to have noticed her yet.
"Lena, Hun, is that you? Please say it is..."
"You have the wrong person sir, take your hands off of me and let me continue on my way!" my voice was shaking and raised to almost a screech, it sounded like a lie even to my own ears. My face reddened while I stood there looking at my feet hoping my ploy would work.
"Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos- Your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape..."
He stepped back almost instantly and I felt the fear and grief seething forth from him like an over boiling cauldron of emotions. "I am sorry to have troubled you miss." He stopped in mid-sentence. Roughly I felt his hand shoot out and grab my chin forcing my eyes to meet his. "Relena...it is you, don't lie to me I know its you."
My eyes started to water, why ohh why did he have to come and find me. I had repaired the broken pieces of my life; I didn't need HIM coming back to destroy me again! The tears were freely flowing from my eyes now. Why now! My daughter woke in my arms as if she seemed to sense my pain and she started crying too. I wiped my eyes and turned my back on the man in front of me, tending to my daughter's needs.
"Heero, why did you come here." I looked over my shoulder at him as I spoke, but his eyes were glazed, looking down over my head at the girl in my arms. He had not seen her before and I knew what he was thinking. I guess he had to find out someday, but I wished to the goddess that it had not had to be now.
"Lena how old is she?" he asked in a floaty voice of a man lost in his thoughts, or in space I thought angrily.
"Who do you think you are coming back here Heero Yuy!" I yelled. "And don't call me Relena, It's not my name anymore and it hasn't been since the day I left! What are you doing here! What do you want."
"In my field of paper Flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me..."
His eyes refocused and his gaze shifted as he turned to look at me instead. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes and I saw his pain. It ripped through me like a dagger and my breath caught in my lungs. I had not wanted to leave him three years ago, but there had been no other choice I had made. I loved him still; I had never stopped loving him. But love wasn't enough; love didn't keep you happy. Not in my experiences at least. It had only brought me pain.
"Relena." he began reapprochingly"
"Amber, Heero, my name is Amber! Don't call me Relena. I stopped being that woman three years ago!"
Silence filled the air and time seemed to stand still, I wondered if he had even heard me at all.
"Swallowed up in the sounds of my screaming
Can not cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh how I long for that deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary lights"
I my mind wander back to many years before, when I had first found out that I was pregnant with my little girl.
******
******
Hey this is a repost, I took the whole thing offline and edited it .please review!
Disclaimer: don't forget me!!! *I am a disclaimer and therefore I disclaim myself*
******
Part one: Found
SongFic: Imaginary by Evanescence
"I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming
Monsters calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story..."
I am Amber Starr, Formerly known as Relena Darlain Peacecraft. I had left everything that I once was behind me and opened up an occult store that specialized in herbal products. After getting my degree in Herbalism I turned away and never looked back. I gave birth to my daughter and opened my business that now thrived. It had taken a while but I had rebuilt my life, and I was damned proud of what I had done.
My hair was different now too. It was finally long enough for me, down to my knees and I had dyed my hair red with green and blue streaks in it. Although it may not have matched too well, it certainly made for an interesting statement. My skin was very dark from hours of work in the greenhouses and from playing in the sun with my daughter. You would never be able to tell that it had once been pale as porcelain before if you did not know it. I dressed like a gypsy, or perhaps if you allowed the stretch, like a witch might have many years ago.
The sidewalk was just as crowded as it usually was, perhaps more so. I pushed my way through the crowds holding my daughter in my arms. She looked so much like her father, and she had the deepest prussian blue eyes that could become almost silver at times. I sidestepped away from the baker who shoved bread in my face hoping to sell his goods and muttered my no-thank- you. It was a hassle to make my way to and from work now a days, while the tourists were out in full force.
If it was tourist season, I thought to myself grumpily, why couldn't you just shoot the tourists and get it over with? Because it would be bad business said that cocky and ever so perfect voice inside my head. "Fuck you" I muttered out loud. My daughter stirred in her sleep, and I was glad that she wasn't awake to hear me with such foul language.
"In my field of paper Flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me..."
I loved England. I had left America and my former life behind me. I was better off that way. I only kept casual contact with my sisters, mostly because they couldn't afford to come and see me and talk to me as often as they would have liked. I didn't want anything to do with the person I had been. I wanted nothing to do with the other people I had left behind, and it was only out of courtesy that I kept in touch with my family.
My world came crashing down around me when I heard a familiar male voice shouting for me, for the person I had been. "Relena, Relena please let that be you!" Cautiously I glanced over my shoulder to see a familiar man pushing his way through the crowds trying to get to me, but I was no longer the woman he called out for. I walked faster trying not to bring attention to myself, daring for once to wish that I would blend in. How the hell had he recognized me, and for that matter how had he found me at all? It was a pity I couldn't disappear into thin air.
He called me again and I broke out into a run. I didn't want him finding me, Great Goddess of all people why would it have to be him to come after me. Even though I had had a child I was still agile and quick on my feet. But my daughter was heavy, and she was slowing me down little by little. My heartbeat quickened and I ran faster. He could not find me I would not allow it. I had worked to hard and for too long to gain some piece of mind and escape him!
But he hadn't changed much either, and he caught up with me quickly. He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around. I screamed and my knees gave way at the sudden contact, and he held me up for the few moments it took to regain my composure. I stood there helpless, shaking with fear. It was a good thing the child in my arms slept so soundly; he didn't seem to have noticed her yet.
"Lena, Hun, is that you? Please say it is..."
"You have the wrong person sir, take your hands off of me and let me continue on my way!" my voice was shaking and raised to almost a screech, it sounded like a lie even to my own ears. My face reddened while I stood there looking at my feet hoping my ploy would work.
"Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos- Your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape..."
He stepped back almost instantly and I felt the fear and grief seething forth from him like an over boiling cauldron of emotions. "I am sorry to have troubled you miss." He stopped in mid-sentence. Roughly I felt his hand shoot out and grab my chin forcing my eyes to meet his. "Relena...it is you, don't lie to me I know its you."
My eyes started to water, why ohh why did he have to come and find me. I had repaired the broken pieces of my life; I didn't need HIM coming back to destroy me again! The tears were freely flowing from my eyes now. Why now! My daughter woke in my arms as if she seemed to sense my pain and she started crying too. I wiped my eyes and turned my back on the man in front of me, tending to my daughter's needs.
"Heero, why did you come here." I looked over my shoulder at him as I spoke, but his eyes were glazed, looking down over my head at the girl in my arms. He had not seen her before and I knew what he was thinking. I guess he had to find out someday, but I wished to the goddess that it had not had to be now.
"Lena how old is she?" he asked in a floaty voice of a man lost in his thoughts, or in space I thought angrily.
"Who do you think you are coming back here Heero Yuy!" I yelled. "And don't call me Relena, It's not my name anymore and it hasn't been since the day I left! What are you doing here! What do you want."
"In my field of paper Flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me..."
His eyes refocused and his gaze shifted as he turned to look at me instead. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes and I saw his pain. It ripped through me like a dagger and my breath caught in my lungs. I had not wanted to leave him three years ago, but there had been no other choice I had made. I loved him still; I had never stopped loving him. But love wasn't enough; love didn't keep you happy. Not in my experiences at least. It had only brought me pain.
"Relena." he began reapprochingly"
"Amber, Heero, my name is Amber! Don't call me Relena. I stopped being that woman three years ago!"
Silence filled the air and time seemed to stand still, I wondered if he had even heard me at all.
"Swallowed up in the sounds of my screaming
Can not cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh how I long for that deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary lights"
I my mind wander back to many years before, when I had first found out that I was pregnant with my little girl.
******