Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, however, i do own Ann. My friends would kill me if I owned the rest of the characters.

This is something i wrote as a lark, so dont flame it, although i wont really care. The first story I wrote, based off the second story someone close to me wrote. I changed the names of characters and places, becasue I dont really want my name out there...not that it matters i guess, but still. Anyway, on with the story. Hope it makes you laugh, just a little bit.


"Ann! You made it! I love your coat, I want it!" Maree rambled hyperly as she saw her friend approach the front of the school.

"You cant have it, it's mine" Ann said, imperiously, than broke down into giggles. She saw Suzanne standing next to Maree with a yellow plastic hard hat and a bunch of paper.

"What happened to the tiara?" She asked curiously, stealing the papers from Suzanne's hands. The top one read in big letters ROWAN HIGH SCHOOL OPEN NIGHT and than had a bunch of other writing she couldn't be bothered to read.

"I didn't want to wear it. Choice between sparkly tiara and funny hat? Not hard" Suzanne took her bunch of paper back from Ann, who gave it up willingly.

"This jacket makes me feel like I should be in Torchwood" Ann commented after about 10 seconds of silence. She brightened. "Let's pretend to be Torchwood, Maree, you're wearing the right colour!"

"So true! Lets!" Maree clapped her hands together, excitedly.

"Hey guys!" a voice called out. Ann looked around, and spotted a familiar figure.

"KEELY!" she and Maree yelled at exactly the same time, and than dissolved into giggles.

"We are sooooo hyper" Maree said between giggles.

"That's cause we're at school at night" Ann replied as Keely reached them. "Nice of you to drop in!"

"Good evening" Keely said in a very vampire way, which only served to send Ann and Maree off into giggles again and Suzanne to raise an eyebrow.

"ah, we are sooooo hyper" Ann finally said, repeating Maree's earlier words. Keely nodded solemnly.

"You sooooo are" she said, mimicking their tone.

Suzanne shook her head at her friends antics and then noticed a group of people approaching them. She walked up to the couple and smiled.

"Welcome to Rowan High school's open night, would you like one of these?" she offered them a piece of paper, which they accepted and continued walking into the school.

"At this rate we'll scare off all the people" Keely noted reasonably.

"Do we look like we care?" Ann rolled her eyes, giggling.

"I have to agree" Maree shrugged, looking scathingly at the school behind them.

"True, true" Keely laughed. Suzanne sighed.

"Excuse me" A girl who had been hanging around near them walked over, "have you seen my friend?" She said it in a really obnoxious tone, like she was demeaning herself by talking to them.

"That boy who was with you before? no, I don't think so" Suzanne replied politely.

"He was abducted by aliens, dur" Maree piped up, looking shocked that the girl didn't know. Ann and Keely nodded solemnly in agreement.

"You believe in Aliens?" the girl asked sceptically.

"YEUP!" the three of them chorused. The girl shook her head and walked off.

"If you see him tell him I went home!" she yelled back over her shoulder.

"Whatever" Ann huffed, glaring at her back. Suzanne sighed again, she had asked them to keep her company, but still…Ann and Maree began giggling again, and skipped around the area, singing a strange song.

"ah, we are sooooo hyper" Maree said for the third time, coming to a stop beside Keely. Ann joined her, nodding agreement,

"We're going to scare off everyone from this school, that's for sure" She replied, giggling.

"That's what I said" Keely shook her head, laughing at her impossible friends.

Suddenly, a black van screeched to a halt out the front of the school. The four of them looked up curiously as five people exited the van, striding towards the school. Suzanne bit her lip nervously as they approached, than shrugged.

"Welcome to Rowan High School's open night, would you like a guide?" She offered the papers to the group. The leading man took one and glanced at it quickly, flashed her a smile, and kept walking. A woman smiled at them as the curious looking group walked past. Suzanne could have sworn she heard one of the other two men muttering things about their school, aliens and life in general. She watched, bemused, as they disappeared from sight, than turned back to her friends, and raised an eyebrow, because they all appeared to have frozen.

Keely blinked suddenly.

"You….did see that right" she said in a half whisper, smiling widely.

"YES! OH MY GOD! Ess" Ann squealed.

"TORCHWOOD!" Maree jumped up and down excitedly. Suzanne blinked, she had NO idea what they were going on about. Although, she had heard the name before….where?

"Could this mean my suspicions about Ms Lego were correct?" Ann said, turning thoughtful.

"You had suspicions?' Keely looked surprised. The three of them looked at each other.

"I believe….this needs careful investigation!" Keely announced in a loud voice, smiling wickedly.

"Uh, Aliens….equal dangerous?" Ann pointed out, than giggled as Maree and Keely stared at her.

"just thought I'd mention it. If I die you owe me manga! Tally ho!" She pointed towards the school.

"IF you die how-- oh never mind! Let's do this" Maree shrugged and followed Ann as she walked confidently towards the entrance to the main part of the school. Keely pushed Suzanne towards the school as she followed her friends.

Suzanne was feeling bewildered, but felt she should probably keep an eye on her crazy friends before they got themselves into to much trouble. You never knew.


Short Story #2

"Oh my god Oh My God OH MY GOD!!"

Her friends stared at Keely.

"What?" yelled Maree as she grabbed Keely's arm.

Keely had gone beyond words, she quivered and squeaked and pointed with a shaking hand.

The others turned to look.

"Oh" sighed Ann.

"Oooh" squealled Maree.

"Eh?" said Suzanne, "who IS it?"

"Mmm" breathed Maree, "Who. And," she joined Ann in sighing, "Jack(heart)"

Suzanne was fascinated, she didn't know you could actually say (heart) but her friends clearly just had, in fact she thought they were still breathing out little huffs of (heart) and were possibly in danger of hyperventilating. She still didn't know who the visitors were but was pretty sure the staff would be upset about the (rather nice) black van tearing up the new would-be lawn.


And thats that...a short silly Torchwood what if fic. What if Torchwood came to our school. I'm not sure how I'd really react but it would probably involve running away as Torchwood = Aliens, and i am sooooo not brave. Don't kill me!