Howdy! This story came about from a conversation I had with hustlingvulpine on Tumblr. At first, it was just a short little vignette – but the more I thought about it, and the more potential I saw, I realized it deserved to be a full oneshot. And now it's 8000 words long! I gotta say, I'm super pleased with the results. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.
And, just to clarify: this is, in fact, unrelated to my OTHER Zooplecoop crossover on this site, Of Heists and Hustles. It follows very, very loosely from one or two Tumblr ficlets I wrote, and that's it. I'm gonna stand between these two fandoms and write as many stories as I damn well please
GEE SNAP HOW COME YOUR MOM LETS YOU HAVE TWO ZOOTOPIA/SLY COOPER CROSSOVER CONTINUITIES

Undercover work was rare for Nick.

It wasn't that he'd be bad at it. The demands of slipping into and maintaining a false persona, carefully managing each interaction as they came, was actually something to which he was especially well-suited. But it just wasn't workable. He was on a first-name basis with half the city. He couldn't be thrown into a false identity for an afternoon, not in a way that was worth the effort. He was more valuable as Nick Wilde.

His partner was in a similar position - hero cop Judy Hopps, the ZPD's first ever rabbit, saviour of the city. She was known to everyone. They both were. Chief Bogo never assigned them undercover work. It just couldn't be done.

Not in Zootopia, anyway.

The air was oppressively humid and there were far too many bugs in the air, but the night was beautiful. The sky was thick with stars, twinkling light along black velvet. Shere Khan's quote-unquote 'summer home' loomed in the distance; more of a palace, really. With the security presence to match.

"All set?" murmured Nick. He was wearing an impeccable black tuxedo, with a pair of sunglasses and a (not-so-)fake earpiece completing his secret agent costume. A thick badge hung on his lapel, wrapped in gold foil. He strode easily up the gravel path, betraying no hint of the nervous energy bubbling through him. "It's time we stormed this castle."

"Har har." Judy stomped alongside him, a knight in solid silver armour. Not actual metal, of course, but still quite bulky. Her helmet obscured her face; two vague purple shadows scanned the numerous rhinoceros guards as they approached. "Quick question: I know our invitations are airtight, and I know we'll get in no problem, but hypothetically speaking–"

"Relax, Carrots." Nick smirked, settling his hands in his pockets. "Your slow, pathetic attempts to get away will no doubt prove hilarious to the guards, providing the perfect distraction as I slip into the night."

"I hate you."

"You're the one who chose that costume."

"Because I'm brave! And scary! So don't test me!"

"Uh huh."

They cut the banter as they entered earshot of the guards. Nick presented their invitations, calmly waiting as a massive rhinoceros checked them against his tablet.

Finally, he waved them through. "Mister Savage. Miss Skye," he rumbled. "Shere Khan welcomes you. Enjoy yourselves."

"Thank you, my good man," said Nick, dipping his head. "We intend to."

Through the ornate front doors and ushered into the ballroom. It was sprawling and golden and already teeming with guests. A band played classical music in one corner for the crowd; mammals of all sizes, most wearing outrageous outfits. Nick could almost smell the money in the air. A fragment of his former self awoke and he hurriedly shoved it back under the mental boulder from whence it crawled.

Focus on the mission, Officer Wilde.

They quietly staked out a corner, nodding to those they passed. First priority was to take in the space, assess any unknown threats. They had to balance speed with subtlety. Any rash moves would draw attention, but the longer they stayed here, the more likely something would go wrong.

"Quite a crowd, huh?" said Judy – quiet but not conspiratorial. Just a normal, private conversation. "Wonder what the combined worth of the guest list is."

"I, uh, thought something similar." Nick adjusted his tie, his posture carefully relaxed. "I'm guessing there's enough money in this room to start an entirely new country. One where slavery is legal."

"What about spice smuggling?"

"That too. Presumably."

He scanned faces, outfits, masks. Judy was watching too, but a sharp fusion of police training and hustler experience gave Nick an edge few could match. He tore through the information in seconds, his sunglasses obscuring the motion of his eyes, the rapid calculation.

"Seems like we're green to go. Some shifty figures here, but in a white-collar sense. Amoral business types, not fighters. Don't think there's anyone who–" He froze. "…Oh no. No, no, no."

Judy tensed, immediately sharing her partner's dread. "What? What's wrong?"

"See that guy?"

Nick pointed across the ballroom at a raccoon – some kind of pirate. A rakish hat and an obnoxiously fancy jacket, both deep blue. Ruffled black shirt. A wooden sword sheathed in a thick black belt. Ornate black masquerade mask around his eyes. Chatting to a small group.

Grinning massively.

"What about him?"

Nick was grave. "That's Sly Cooper."

Judy blinked. "Wow, really? ...How can you tell? He's wearing a mask."

"He's always wearing a mask, Carrots. Look." He leaned in closer, subtly pointing to each detail. "Not only is he a perfect physical match, all his mannerisms – stance, head motions, even the way his tail moves? Exact same. His hat and outfit both draw the eye away from his face, and he's purposefully being loud. Dissuading suspicion by making himself very visible." Nick bit his lip absently. "...Genius, really."

Judy sounded amused. "Well look at you, Junior Detective. Y'know… kinda sounds like you have yourself a crush."

Nick's voice was level. "Hopps, if you think I won't blow this op by dunking your face in the punch bowl, prepare to be proven wrong."

She chuckled. "Okay, note taken."

Nick reached under his sunglasses to rub his eyes. "Ugh, I can't believe this... halfway across the planet and we still end up with a familiar face."

"It's a small world after all," said Judy with grim sincerity. "So what's the deal? He wouldn't be here if he wasn't up to something, right?"

"My thoughts exactly. This isn't his scene." He frowned thoughtfully. "Looks like we aren't the only ones undercover here."

"And where does that leave us?"

"Well, we still need those files linking Khan to that spice ring..."

Intel suggested that said files – the entire reason they had come here – could be found in Khan's office. The plan, as befitting their respective outfits, would be that Sir Judy would keep an eye on the ballroom as the less conspicuous Agent Nick slipped away to make copies.

Thankfully, one of the many strengths of the WildeHopps partnership was a certain flexibility.

"I'm thinking we might need to switch partners, so to speak," said Nick. "We shouldn't let Sly wander around unattended."

"Ya think?"

"Sorta goes without saying, doesn't it? Now, it's not that I don't trust you to handle this, but... I might be a bit more suited to monitoring him."

Judy folded her arms. "And why is that, exactly? Is it because you think I'm not subtle enough and I'll just end up kicking him in the face–"

"Yes, actually."

"–or is it because you're looking for an excuse to talk to him again~?"

"Nope," said Nick. "It's the first thing. Though you do make a good point; I've dealt with him personally. You haven't. I've got a better understanding of how he thinks."

"Oh, I bet you do..."

"Carrots. Seriously. The punch bowl."

They watched as the pirate finished a story with a dramatic flourish of his hands. His audience burst out laughing. Nick's eyes narrowed. The life of the party.

"Let's not waste time," said Judy, pulling him from his thoughts. "You're sure you want to switch?"

"I think it's the best idea, yeah."

She nodded. "Then I'll get going. The sooner we have those files, the better."

Judy pulled in close, lifting her visor so he could see her eyes.

"Good luck. If you need me, just use your earpiece. I'll be right there."

Nick didn't remove his sunglasses, but his smile was genuine. "Thanks, Carrots. I know."

With a final nod, Judy clicked her visor back down. Then, discretely but casually, she wandered off in the direction Shere Khan's office happened to be in.

Nick's smile faded as she disappeared from sight, and he turned his gaze to his target. He stood there, weighing his options, one fang worrying his lip. He knew the protocol for undercover operations. He should keep his distance. Not only would that preserve the element of surprise, he also couldn't risk Sly blowing his cover. It was too dangerous.

But Nick didn't always see eye to eye with protocol.

Judy was worse, he was quick to tell himself. Judy knew the codes top to bottom, and used that knowledge to wriggle under them if she ever saw the need. Nick understood their value. He knew they were in place for a reason.

But in many ways, they just weren't made for him. Nick wasn't one for overconfidence. In fact, he didn't do the whole 'positive self-esteem' thing in general. But he knew he was different. He had experience no other cop did. It was time to put it to use.

After taking a deep breath – no room for weakness once he got moving – he straightened his tie and strode for Sly.

Judy was wrong. He didn't want to talk to Sly. It was the other way around. If Nick tried to watch him from a distance, Sly could slip away at any moment. He was just too stealthy.

But if he knew Nick was here? If he had a cop to contend with, a familiar target for his damnable sense of humour? He'd stick to Nick like glue.

Crossing the ballroom felt longer than it should have, but he arrived. He didn't draw attention to himself. He just settled in next to a leopard, joining the circle around Sly. The raccoon was halfway through another anecdote, his voice dominating the music and chatter in the room. He was breezily charismatic, his eyes checking each guest in a way that was both systematic and natural. He made sure everyone was equally entertained – until his gaze landed on Nick.

In the split second after he was noticed, Nick saw several emotions flash through Sly's hazel eyes. First, surprise. Briefly, fear. And then – of course – glee.

He was overjoyed to see him.

"Well, well, well. Ahoy there... matey."

Nick was quietly thankful Sly hadn't opted for a full pirate accent. He sounded a little huskier than usual, but that was it. Nick definitely didn't need his rival punctuating every sentence with 'arr'.

"Evening," said Nick, in his regular voice, like a normal person. "Sorry to interpose, but this seemed like an interesting conversation to join."

"By all means! Glad to have you." Sly stuck out a gloved hand. Nick could tell he was genuinely eager. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mister...?"

Nick took the offered paw. Firm grip, naturally. "Savage. Jack Savage."

"Dread Pirate Henry." He gestured to his audience; mostly cats, all larger than them both. All watching Sly like he was a magician. "I was just explaining my reasoning for my costume choice – some real interesting figures in my family's history." He smirked. "If it weren't for the sunglasses, I wouldn't even know you were dressed up."

Nick shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a quiet guy. Generally like to keep a low profile."

"No way to live life, if you ask me!" Then – without warning – "So, how do you know ol' Sherry?

A broadside from Sly's ship. The games had already started. But Nick was well-prepared.

"Oh, we aren't too close. Business dealings, mostly. Shared a drink with him at various functions for Khan Industries, but that's it. Honestly, he was generous to invite me."

"Yeah," said Sly. "He's a quite a guy, alright. I've always thought that the best thing you can do with wealth is share it. Leave some for us little guys, right?" He flashed a grin to their audience, earning a smattering of polite laughter.

"A noble sentiment," said Nick, arms folded. "Though you want to be careful about who gets their paws on your money. What about you? How did you get invited?"

"Oh, I'm constantly at shindigs like this," said Sly breezily. "Not always as a guest! Sometimes I'm more involved with stuff backstage. Still, I get to see a lot of lovely venues. I really love my job."

Nick's eyes narrowed, slightly, under his sunglasses. A series of half-truths, all technically correct. Great. Sly was one of those.

That fit his profile; playing with exact words was a lot more fun than memorizing a meticulous backstory, as Nick had. But law enforcement agencies had good reason for not choosing their policies based on what was most fun. If asked, Nick could explain that 'Jack Savage' was an accountant specializing in taxation, with a degree from the business wing of ZU, who had worked with Khan Industries numerous times in his long and convincingly faked career. Nick had even decided on Jack's favourite type of pen. (Black ballpoint, no clicker. Clickers encourage fidgeting and needless noise.)

Nick had the feeling he could torpedo Sly's credibility by asking, firmly and seriously, "What is your job?"

But tempting as it was to see him squirm–

Weird phrasing. Tempting as it was to wipe that smug look off his face – better – that wasn't the objective. If anything, exposing Sly as a thief would only make things harder for Nick – and for Judy. While she was working, Nick had to stay low, and ensure Sly did the same.

He knew that was going to be an uphill battle. Especially when the band changed their tune – switching from a placid nocturne to a waltz – and Sly's ears perked.

"Oh, I love this song!" He gave Nick a graceful bow, then extended a hand. "Care to join me in a dance?"

Nick considered the offer – on a purely tactical basis. On one hand, getting away from Sly's little audience would be helpful. Managing interactions in front of several guests magnified the margin for error. Less room to breathe. On the other hand, this was the exact opposite of keeping his distance. But he was already this close, wasn't he?

"Alright," he said, sliding a convincingly genuine smile into place. "Show me what you got."

"Oh, gladly."

They left the other guests and moved toward the empty space under the chandelier. Sly's smirk had only grown.

"Mind if I lead?"

"Yes," said Nick, and took leading position. Sly fell into step, smiling. Soon they were out on the ballroom floor, a safe distance from anyone else. Despite the band and the wide ballroom, few mammals were actually dancing. Not that kind of crowd. It made the odd pair all the more noticeable.

It occurred to Nick that he was straying further from protocol every second.

Sly was a good dancer, confident in his motions. Nick supposed that made sense. He just hoped that stupid sword didn't poke him in the leg. He kept a wary eye on the raccoon, trying to ignore how close they were.

"So, Mister Savage... you seem familiar. Have we met?" Sly grinned. "You wouldn't happen to work in law enforcement, wou–"

"Cooper." Nick's voice was quiet but firm. "Spare me the dumb games. We both know who we are. Just keep your voice low and we can talk straight."

"'Talk straight'? No thanks." Sly caught his gaze, his eyes twinkling. "When have two guys ever enjoyed themselves while talking straight?"

"You're already giving me a headache..."

They waltzed through the ballroom, alone in the crowd. Nick was gripping Sly's wrist slightly more tightly than he needed to. A subtle warning: don't try anything. Sly seemed unfazed.

"You're here on business, I assume... Oh! Is Judy here too? I like her. She's got moxie."

"I'm not telling you anything," muttered Nick.

"That's a yes." Sly's eyes wandered briefly, scanning the crowd. "Well, don't worry. Whatever it you're doing, you're safe from us. This is great, actually. The more things that go wrong for Shere Khan tonight, the better."

"'Us', huh?" said Nick. "So you aren't alone either."

"Never am."

Already, the dance was almost unconscious. Nick kept his eyes on Sly, vigilant. Sly was returning his attention, but almost lazily.

"You seem stressed."

"My hips are pressed against one of Interpol's most wanted. Of course I'm stressed."

"Such mistrust!" Sly raised an eyebrow. "I told you, we won't interfere. You don't believe me?"

"I'm not your target. Something else is." Nick tightened his grip. "And as long as you're in my sight, you're getting nowhere near it."

Sly chuckled richly. "I see what's happening here. You think whatever our plan is, I'm in the middle."

"Is that inaccurate? That's how your gang operates."

"Usually, sure. But still... you're just assuming I always need to be the centre of attention?"

Suddenly, yet in perfect synchrony with the swelling music, Sly shifted his weight so he was leading. He dipped Nick, supporting his back with one surprisingly strong hand. Nick tried to control his expression, not let his irritation show. People were watching.

Sly simply smirked. "I can be... flexible."

There was a moment of helplessness as they stayed like that. Sly, and his stupid, mocking smirk, looking down on him. Nick growled through his teeth. "Let. Me. Up."

Sly let him up, and Nick pushed himself back in leading position. The song ended, but the band went straight into another waltz. This one was faster. Less stable.

They picked up again. Nick's motions were sharper now, pulling Sly along.

"Listen, Cooper. Whatever you're planning, call it off now. You can't hide from me."

Sly scoffed. "Yeah. I'm sure nothing's gonna get by you. Not while you're wearing sunglasses, indoors, at night."

The fox glared. "I am not letting you say anything about what I'm wearing. Not when you're dressed like that."

"Fair enough," said Sly. His eyes were back on the crowd. "...Just seems like an apt metaphor, that's all."

"What?" said Nick.

"You're always behind something." Sly's voice was still low, still rich. But it wasn't mocking. "Hiding your true thoughts from the world – even from that amazing partner of yours. You don't let people know where you're looking." He worked a light shrug into his movements. "I dunno. I just think that might make it harder to see."

Nick blinked, then felt glad his sunglasses had obscured that, then felt stupid for feeling glad, then decided to be as glad as he damn well pleased, no matter what Sly Cooper said. This was getting dangerous. He had to stay focused. He couldn't let himself be thrown off-balance, not by a criminal this savvy. No matter how pretty his eyes were...

...oh, goddammit

It didn't help that Sly seemed thoroughly at ease. "Any plans for the rest of the night?"

"What?" said Nick, again.

Sly was carefully casual. "Just wondering, is all. I'm playing with the idea that... when I'm done my thing, and you're done yours, we could, I dunno..."

"Hang out?" It was Nick's turn to scoff. "How old are you, twelve? You're a criminal. I'm a cop. That's not how it works."

"Doesn't have to be," murmured Sly. "I love cops. Certain ones. I've got no problem spending time with one. And it's not like you take this stuff seriously."

Nick's expression darkened. "Excuse me?"

Sly shook his head. "Wrong phrasing. Didn't mean you were bad at your job or anything. Just... You're not like any cop I've dealt with before. You get it."

"No," said Nick quickly. "I do not get it. I do not get you. Breaking international law for fun is quite possibly the most obnoxious thing I've ever heard. Stealing to survive, I get. Stealing because you have no other options. This? You?! You're incomprehensible."

"Yeah, but, y'know. You used to be..."

"What?"

Sly smirked. "Cool. You used to be cool."

Nick glared. "That's not what you were going to say. I used to be what, Cooper? A criminal?"

"Well, I wouldn't use that word..."

"And neither would I," hissed Nick, "because I wasn't." He was very close now. The dance was unimportant. Instead, he drew in, sharp teeth bared. Sly met his gaze calmly. "I kept everything I did above board. Because that's the kind of person I am, Cooper. Unlike you, I care about consequences. So you're wrong. I take my job extremely seriously. I have to. The reputation of every fox in Zootopia is on my shoulders."

"Sounds heavy." Sly smirked. "I think you need to take some weight off. I'd be glad to lend a hand. Cut loose with me. Some dinner, more dancing... Then we'll see how serious you are."

Nick was calm. Nick was very, very calm. As usual. Never let them see that they get to you. He had a handle on things, like he always did. No-one repressed emotion like Nick Wilde, no sir! He was a champ. So Sly was completely failing to get under his fur. Nick was calm. Very calm.

Nick very calmly reached up with one hand and very calmly knocked Sly's stupid hat off.

"Hey!" Sly sounded genuinely wounded. He whipped his head around to locate his hat – but made no move to let go of Nick. "What was that for?"

"You're under arrest," said Nick.

"Am not," said Sly, turning back. "You've got no jurisdiction here."

"Don't need jurisdiction. Just need to hold you down until someone who does shows up."

"Officer Wilde," admonished Sly, his eyes gleaming. "If you want to get your hands on me that badly, all you had to do was a–" and it was at that point that Nick's last nerve snapped like a dry twig and he grabbed him.

Sly twisted in his grasp, muttering something about immaturity, but Nick didn't relent. By now, everyone was staring. Even the band had sheepishly trailed off, leaving awkward silence in their wake. Nick was painfully aware of just how badly this was going. All eyes were on him, because he failed to keep calm. Because this raccoon was just so... so...

Sly twisted again, almost getting free. Nick growled, adjusting his grip – he had made this terrible decision, and he was committing to it. Sly's fancy mask came loose in Nick's hand. Underneath, he was still wearing his usual domino mask.

Nick's eye twitched. "Oh my god are you kidding me with this?"

"I told you!" said Sly defensively. "It stays on!"

The scuffle didn't last much longer. A massive shadow fell on them both, and suddenly the danger in the air came rushing back to them. They turned slowly. They both had to crane their necks to face the tiger towering over them.

Shere Khan himself.

He surveyed them, arms folded behind his back. He was wearing an extravagant blue suit, although that wasn't unusual. The only indication he had dressed for a masquerade, and not a typical Tuesday afternoon, was the rather reserved white opera mask around his sharp yellow eyes.

His voice, famously deep, was calm. Yet its sheer presence filled the ballroom.

"Well, gentlemen... you've given us quite the performance. But I can't say I'm amused."

Sly grinned weakly. "Shame. A sense of humour is important these days."

Khan glared. "I was forewarned of your presence, Cooper. Seems you aren't quite as stealthy as your reputation claims." His gaze travelled to Nick. Slowly, an eyebrow arched. "And... you would be?"

"Oh," said Nick. "Oh, no, I'm not with him."

"I'm sure," drawled Khan. "In fact, you're the one who exposed the criminal in our midst. My thanks." He snapped his fingers, and two rhinos glided up behind him like silent battleships. "Perhaps my guards will offer you a complimentary dessert... after having a word with you for rudely disrupting my masquerade."

"Run," suggested Sly.

"Yeah, good idea," said Nick.

They ran.

Nick pushed through the crowd and went straight for the nearest exit, trying to ignore how neatly Sly fell into step behind him. As he cleared the ballroom and hit a corridor, he held a finger to his earpiece. "Hopps, I'm blown. Please tell me you have the files."

"I do!" came her voice. "Hold on, I'll double back and help you."

"Negative!" Nick took a corner hard, his claws against the wall. "If you have them, go. That's the priority. Don't blow the op."

"You're kidding, right?! I'm not going to abandon you!"

"I can make my own way out, Judy, I'm not a child!" He kept moving, eyes forward. "I'll meet you at the rendezvous point, safe and sound. That's a promise, okay?"

"...Okay. I'll see you there." A pause. "I believe in you, Nick."

He smiled. "I know you do, Carrots. Over and out."

Sly was talking into his own earpiece. "Bentley, please tell me you and Murray are finished. We need to go." He chuckled at the reply, easily keeping pace with Nick. "Yeah. Something like that. Well, don't worry. I'm not alone."

"Yes you are," muttered Nick.

"Oh, Nick!" said Sly, removing the hand from his ear to gesture dramatically. "Aren't we in this together?"

"No. You're just following me."

"Same difference."

They went left, then right, then left again, sprinting through a labyrinth of ornate corridors. For a while the only person they passed was a marbled cat clutching a tray of drinks. They dodged to either side and left him standing in uneasy silence.

Then they turned a corner and two rhinos blocked the way.

Nick stopped, assessing the threat. Sly did not. He flew onwards, using one hand to unsheath his wooden sword – and the other to tear off his coat and throw it backwards, directly at Nick.

"Watch it!" The fox dodged the coat, then huffed. "You always end a party by ripping your clothes off?"

"You don't?" One rhino was drawing a pistol so Sly ran for him and slammed his sword into his arm. "You've been going to the wrong parties!"

The other rhino ignored the thief, charging for Nick instead. He stood his ground. "Excuse me for picking an outfit that's both stylish and practical."

Nick shrugged off his suit jacket, keeping it open and loose. The rhino closed in and Nick kept close to the wall. As the guard bore down on him, Nick watched and waited and then, at the right moment, jumped up and off the wall and around and pulled his jacket over the rhino's face. His opponent thrashed, blinded, and tripped over his own feet. He slammed to the ground, Nick balancing cleanly on his back.

He slipped his jacket back on, straightening it with one brisk motion, and met Sly's gaze. "You're all style over substance. You know that, right?"

"Impressive stuff, Officer." The rhino behind him went to punch him. Sly leaned out of the way without looking. "But I'm not just talk. I have the moves to back it up."

The sword may have been wood, but Sly wielded it masterfully. Turning suddenly, he slammed it against the rhino's head, bringing his whole body into the strike. The guard grunted and stumbled, but Sly kept pressing. He fluidly adjusted his grip with a twirl of the wrist, jabbed the tip into the rhino's stomach, then finished with a sweeping blow to the jaw. The guard took two clumsy steps back before crumpling.

Sly turned back to Nick, eyes shining. Nick just shrugged. "Yeah. Fine, I guess."

His careful nonchalance was undermined when a meaty hand closed around his shoulders and he yelped. The rhino he had felled wasn't quite done.

Nick rallied, twisting around and slammed his palm into the rhino's nose exactly as the academy instructors had shown him. The rhino grunted and finally went down – and a twinge of pain ran up Nick's arm.

Hitting rhinoceroses was generally unpleasant.

Nick shook feeling back into his hand. "This'd be a lot easier with a gun..."

Sly scavenged from his own opponent, removing the pistol from its holster. He tossed it. "Nick! Catch!"

Nick caught. He checked the weapon briskly – a shock pistol, not unlike his ZPD model back home. Good. Nick was thankful it wasn't a ballistic firearm. They were already dangerously close to International Incident territory. Probably best to avoid blowing holes in anybody.

He unclicked the safety and heard the reassuring hum as the pistol crackled to life. Behind him, heavy footsteps. More guards coming. They clattered around the corner, four of them at once.

"Um," said Sly, "we'd better–" and Nick raised the gun and fired.

Four shots, a zig-zag. Four tight bolts. And a second later, four rhinos collapsing over each other, clutching their faces.

Sly stared.

Nick watched his targets, eyes hard, but they didn't move. This pistol was at the lower end of the scale in terms of power. But Nick knew where to aim. And he didn't miss.

He turned, finally noticing Sly's awestruck expression. It was a second before the thief spoke.

"Okay, I know we've spent the night exchanging various subtle and not-so-subtle compliments, but, let me just say out loud... that was pretty hot."

Nick rolled his eyes, lifted the pistol, and fired at Sly.

Sly twisted out of the way – and the shot connected with the rhino who had been reaching for him. The guard fell back, unconscious, as Sly blinked.

"Eye on the ball, Cooper," said Nick firmly. Then he smirked, shifting his weight. "Although... I guess I can't blame you for getting distracted."

"With a view like this, who could?"

Nick savoured how Sly was looking at him for three seconds longer than was professionally appropriate. Then he glanced around, confirming none of the guards were a threat. "Alright, let's keep moving."

"Agreed. I think this way's our best bet."

"If you say so."

Sly took off and Nick followed. It took him a moment to realize the change. Sly had tagged along on Nick's completely independent escape route. Now Nick was following him.

This was bound to end badly. And yet, Nick stayed on his tail.

Sly led the way up a flight of stairs, which seemed wrong, and out onto a balcony, which was worse. The stars twinkled down on them both, the wind rustling the leafy trees sprawled below them. The night air provided a sudden serenity.

Sly closed the heavy doors and slid his sword between the handles. He tested them, ensuring they were jammed.

"Okay. That'll give us some time." He turned to Nick, hazel eyes bright. "Time for your spy gear."

Nick was impassive. "Excuse me?"

"Your spy gear!" Sly threw out his arms, grinning. "You and Judy are here, in another country, secretly obtaining sensitive documents while under false names. That's not police work, it's spy work! And that means you were given some cool gadgets we can use to get out of this situation."

Nick met his gaze, eyes lidded.

Slowly, he put away the pistol and reached for the bulky fake badge on his jacket. He removed it, one claw crinkling against the gold foil. Sly watched, rapt.

Nick regarded it for a moment, taking his time. Then he unwrapped the foil, brought the badge to his mouth, and bit down.

Sly stared, watching Nick chew the chocolate. "Yeah," said Nick finally. "That's all I got."

"Oh," said Sly.

Nick took another bite. "...You want some?"

"Yes," said Sly.

Nick took the badge in both paws and snapped it. It broke with a satisfying crack. He handed the bigger piece to Sly. For a few moments, they ate.

Sly nodded. "Mmh! Where'd you get this? Just, like, a toy store?"

"More or less."

"It..." Sly paused, chewing. "It's one of those things where... I can tell it's cheap, but it still tastes great. It's still chocolate, y'know?"

"Yeah. Tastes like nostalgia. Back when you were a kid, and you just ate garbage."

"You say that like I ever stopped eating garbage," said Sly, and Nick laughed.

"You know what I mean."

"I do."

The night air was warm. There was no sound except the gentle rustling of the leaves below. Nick looked at the trees, the stars, his ruffled tuxedo. Anywhere except Sly.

Sly finished his piece. "This was nice. Thanks. Really."

Nick wiped his mouth. "Don't mention it."

Abruptly a loud bang shook the doors. They stayed in place, the sword holding firm, but someone began hammering on the other side.

"Hey! Who's out there?!"

"Great," said Sly. "There goes the time we bought."

"I feel like we spent it well," deadpanned Nick.

"Oh, absolutely!" said Sly without a trace of irony. "But now it's time to go." He approached the edge of the balcony, looking at the trees. "Yep. We'll just have to jump."

Nick blinked under his sunglasses. "Jump?! Jump where?"

"To the treeline!" Sly pointed to the thick trees across from them, branches twisting in every direction. "It's not that far. And once we're there, we can make a clean getaway."

"You... you're kidding."

"Nope. Not now." He met Nick's gaze. "It's our best shot."

Nick stared. "Sly, I... can't make that."

"Sure you can! Don't worry. I'll be right behind you." A light shrug. "Well, no. Right ahead of you, probably. But still. In your general vicinity, being very supportive."

Nick opened his mouth, then closed it. He was too tired, too unfocused, to process such a ludicrous proposal. This was a trick. It had to be a trick, Sly was a thief! Sly could make that jump but Nick couldn't and if he tried he'd be injured, on the ground, immobile, and Sly would leave him there, the perfect bait, two birds one stone, cover his escape and ditch the cop–

The door rattled again. It wasn't going to hold much longer. Sly looked Nick in the eyes. "Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Uh, no!"

Sly nodded. "That's too bad." Then he vaulted over the balcony's edge and into the night. He cleared the distance to the nearest tree easily, landing on a branch and retreating to the darkness of the leaves.

Nick froze – but another bang behind him reminded him that there was no time for hesitation. If he got caught, he endangered the mission. Endangered Judy. He couldn't let that happen.

He sucked in a breath. He clenched his fists. Then he ran, and jumped.

Air rushed past him. The leap itself wasn't so bad. The problem was the landing.

His feet found the branch, but too tenuously, too near the edge. The whole thing wobbled, causing Nick to reel back, his paws slipping. He looked to the ground and his sunglasses slipped off, turning in mid-air, falling to earth just as he would. It was happening, his balance was gone, his body lurched, he–

felt a hand grab his.

The motions of the branch levelled out. The danger passed. Nick looked up, his eyes uncovered, and green met hazel.

Once more, Sly was smiling down at him. But the view couldn't have been more different than his smug smirk during their dance. Now Sly's smile was soft, genuine. Reassuring. His grip was firm, but not painful. The perfect balance.

When he spoke, there was no irony, no jokes. No aura of superiority. Just that rich voice, low and warm.

"See? It's okay. I got you."

Nick's heart was pounding. The adrenaline, he told himself. "You – you saved me."

"Of course I did." Sly's smile became more wry, but his tone didn't shift. "I don't want to see you get hurt. Where's the fun in that?"

Nick, for once, was speechless. Before he could form a reply, another loud bang came from the balcony.

Sly beckoned him closer with his free hand, mouthing silently. "C'mon!" He led Nick deeper in the foliage, out of sight.

Together, they held their breath and listened. Nick realized Sly was still gripping his hand. He did not make any stringent effort to stop this.

There was a clatter as the door finally gave way. Heavy footsteps as a guard stomped out onto the balcony.

Silence.

"...Where the hell did they go?!"

A few more footsteps. Another pause. Nick mimicked Sly, pressing against the treetrunk and keeping still. After a few moments, the footsteps resumed. The guard gave up and left.

Looking back, Nick wasn't sure who started it. The perpetually suave thief, always cool and collected. The fox who had been suppressing his emotions for twenty years.

One of them giggled.

A second later, they were both doing it, nervous energy bubbling over into joy. Although they both loved humour, it was rare for either to go much further than a chuckle. But alone in the darkness – finally safe – inhibitions fled. Laughter filled the night air. Nick clutched onto Sly's shoulder, laughing so hard he was in danger of falling.

It was that hint of danger, from the height and threat of passing guards, that pushed Nick into regaining control. "C'mon. C'mon! We should get going."

"What's this 'we'?" grinned Sly. "This is my getaway. You're just following me."

"Damn right," said Nick, fire in his eyes. "And I'm gonna catch you, too!" He swiped at Sly playfully, but the raccoon darted out of reach, landing elegantly on a thin branch.

"I like the sound of that, Slick. Don't disappoint me, now."

"I don't make idle threats, Stripes."

"Glad to hear it."

Then, suddenly, he was off.

He moved like a phantom, fast and silent. But Nick was close behind. He couldn't match Sly's agility, his unearthly ability to sprint along branches as thin as wires. But by picking the right routes, by calculating the safest branches as they came, Nick was more than able to keep up.

They left the lights of the palace behind them, deeper into the forest. Nick never let Sly out of his sight, eyes firmly on the thief's every move. But things had changed. Nick's wary vigilance had given way to something else.

There was something about Sly. A quality Nick couldn't quite place, but definitely felt. Although it didn't exactly cover it, the closest word he had was that Sly was... fun.

The taste of chocolate, lingering in his mouth, wasn't the only source of nostalgia.

Something in Sly's mannerisms – his tone, his movements, the sparkle of humour in his hazel eyes – brought Nick back to happier times. For years – decades – he'd been an adult. Forced into it far too early.

But now here he was, running through the treetops with a known criminal, laughing. Like two teenagers escaping from school. Nick felt alive. And it was a lot easier to see without his sunglasses.

Of course, he would never admit it. He had no intention of saying it out loud. But Nick, finally at ease, couldn't hide the truth from himself. Nor did he want to, really. At this moment, out here with Sly, it was all so clear. He was actually–!

Snap, went the branch.

"Snap?" thought Nick, ears tall.

Then he fell.

He saw how Sly turned, eyes wide, too far away to help. And then Nick was moving. Oh god, he was moving, and not just straight down. The branch had broken as he ran across it and his forward momentum continued, throwing him into a dizzying arc. He fell towards the ground and away from the sky and towards the ground and away from the sky and his stomach hated this and the rest of him agreed and he fell towards the ground it was really close he fell right into Judy's arms.

It took a second for Nick to process what had happened. He had been caught. He was safe.

"Ah," said Judy brightly. "There you are." She was straining slightly – her knees had absorbed most of the shock – but she still hefted him calmly.

"Holy crap, Hopps," he said. "I keep forgetting how crazy strong you are. Th-... thanks. For the assist."

"Happy to help, partner." He sensed she was grinning under her helmet. "Go on. Say it. I know you're thinking it."

Nick smiled – her good humour was infectious. "Fine. Carrots, you're my knight in shining armour. Happy?"

"Ecstatic! Now get off."

He slid to the ground, letting Judy shake the feeling back into her arms. Nick was about to say something else when another voice interjected.

"Oh, thank god! You're okay! You had me worried..."

Nick's ear cocked, and he and Judy looked up. Above them, perched on a lower branch, was Sly. He met Nick's gaze and smiled.

Nick didn't return it. "Yeah. I am. Judy's here."

"I can see that." Sly waved. "Hi, Judy."

She waved back. "Hello!"

Nick elbowed her.

"Right, sorry..." Judy adjusted her visor. "Say, Mister Cooper, would you please consider surrendering to us? We've got this amazing coffee back at our temporary headquarters. I'd be happy to make you some if you let yourself get arrested?"

"Tempting, tempting," nodded Sly. "But maybe some other time. We all need as much distance from Shere Khan as possible, and splitting up is the strategic option."

Nick folded his arms. He was still dizzy, but he hid it well. "And you don't want to go to jail?"

"And I don't want to go to jail." Sly put a finger to his ear, eyes skyward. "Hey, Bentley, you there? ...Yeah, I'm fine. Just chilling with Nick and Judy. What about you guys?" He broke into a grin. "Excellent. See you soon."

The partners shared a dubious look. "Uh," said Judy, "what exactly did you do?"

"Oh, you'll see," said Sly with a calm smile. "I imagine it'll be on the news, for one thing. And, as much as I like you guys... if I went around explaining my crimes to any cop who asked, I'd be a pretty bad thief."

Nick scoffed. "Oh, so you're not a bad thief? What other kind of thief gets seen by an entire ballroom of people?"

Sly laughed richly. "You're kidding, right? That was on you!" He turned to Judy. "I thought you were supposed to be the reckless one. He blew his cover on purpose! One minute, he was as cool and calm as ever. The next, he knocked my hat off and started wrestling me!"

Judy turned slowly to Nick. Her visor was unreadable.

"I," said Nick, "...was provoked."

Judy planted both hands on her hips.

"Look!" said Nick. "I – I handled it. I'm sorry for messing up, really. But c'mon, Carrots, don't take his side!"

"Oh, Nick." Judy raised her hands placatingly, knowing when to pull back. "Don't worry. As your partner, I'm automatically on your side."

He sighed. "Thank you."

"I'm just noting, unofficially and off the record, that that sounds hilarious and you're both the worst." She shot Sly a knowing look. "Besides, I'm not gonna help you two bicker. You're clearly having plenty of fun without me."

"Fun?!" spluttered Nick. "This isn't fun!"

"Oh, I'm having tons of fun!" said Sly. "You aren't? Maybe we should bicker about whether to keep bickering."

Nick rubbed his temples. "Oh, god. I see the headline now. 'ZPD's First Fox Violently Murders Innocent Thief; Court refuses to accept "He wouldn't shut up!" as a defence'."

"And that'd be the classier newspapers," said Judy. "Other headlines would be way worse."

"The important thing," said Sly, "is that we're all safe, we're all satisfied, and we all had a great night." He stretched luxuriously, his balance impeccable even as he extended his arms. "So, as much as it pains me to say it, now's as good a time as any to part ways."

Nick's brow twitched. "What? You seriously think we're just gonna let you go?"

Sly put a finger to his chin, making a show of thinking it over. "...Yes! Yes I do." His smirk slipped back into place. "You two came here for – what was it you said? Files? Not me. And while I'm sure your bosses would be very impressed if you also came back with an internationally-wanted master thief, I'm not the objective. We're still too close to Khan's men for comfort. You need to get moving – and you can't waste time on me."

Nick glared. He felt Judy's gaze on him and he glanced over to her. Even with her visor down, he knew how she was looking at him. What she was thinking.

Yeah. He's right.

Nick sighed, ears flattening. "God. Why can't you be this sensible all the time?"

"I only do it when it's annoying."

Sly tilted his head, and his expression shifted. The wry smirk gave way to a simpler smile. He met Nick's gaze, eyes warm.

"Hey, Nick... thanks. Really. You made my night. This would've been no fun without you." Again, no joking, no irony. Just that smooth, gorgeous voice. "'Til next time, Slick."

He shifted his weight, gave Judy a grin, and then looked back to Nick one last time. He winked.

Nick tried to ignore how his heart fluttered.

With that, Sly leapt from the branch – and instantly vanished. He melted into the shadows, invisible. No sound except the light rustling of leaves.

Nick tried to ignore how his heart sank.

Focusing on business, he turned to Judy. "So you do have the files, right?"

"Yep!" She pulled something out of her armour, far enough for Nick to see: a plastic folder, full of neat papers. "Got everything we needed and more!"

"Amazing work. Like always."

"Oh, please. I gotta give the credit to Clawhauser, actually: I have learnt much in the ways of photocopying just by watching him."

Nick sighed loftily, thankful for the banter. He felt re-centred. "Truly, he is the wisest of us all."

"Isn't he?" She settled the folder back into place, then nodded forward. "Come on. Extraction point is due west."

"Right."

They set off, brisk but quiet. Leaves crinkled underfoot as they jogged through the underbrush. Nick pulled ahead slightly, relying on his night vision. Judy relied on him.

"So," she said finally. Nick didn't need to see her face to tell she was smirking. "Did you enjoy your date~?"

"Yes," said Nick.

Judy spluttered. "What?! No fair! You're supposed to get really defensive!"

Nick grinned into the darkness, not breaking his stride. "Carrots, Carrots, Carrots. How quickly we forget. I was off-balance for a minute there, yeah. But I'm still Nick Wilde. You're getting nothing out of me."

"C'mon! Give me this! Seeing you all flustered is so funny!"

"All the more reason to save it for a special occasion."

Judy huffed – but soon recovered. "Well, then. Guess I'll just have to wait for the next time Sly makes a fool of you."

Nick didn't break his stride. But he couldn't resist looking up, scanning the treetops for any sign of movement. He saw nothing. But the air was warm and the night was beautiful.

"Yeah," he said. "The next time."

before any of you tell me eating chocolate is liable to kill Nick let's just pretend in this universe it's made without theobromine
although, Clawhauser – an obligate carnivore – is introduced eating sugary cereal
cut me some slack here, y'know?