A/N: I'm discounting the last 60 pages of The Beginning.
CHAPTER 1
I'm Tobias and I'm an alcoholic.
Sorry, I'd always wanted to say that for some reason.
Actually, I'm a red-tailed hawk. That wasn't a joke, believe it or not.
It's a really long story and I honestly don't have the energy to tell it. Just know this: I'm a twenty-three-year-old man inhabiting the body of a red-tailed hawk that's probably pushing twenty. And that's really old for those guys.
A chilly, overcast spring afternoon found me perched lethargically on a low branch of my favourite tree in the meadow I called home. Other birds were twittering to each other, most likely complaining about the weather. The stream that passed through my meadow was gurgling happily, swollen from recent rains. A mouse was cautiously poking his twitching nose out of his burrow.
I eyed him with some interest as his plump little body slowly emerged from his home. The hawk part of me was interested, anyway. It had been too long since his last meal and he was desperate to eat. But he was old and tired, and weak from hunger. And the human part of me just didn't care.
I turned my back on Mr. Mouse. He could be someone else's dinner.
I dozed off, ignoring the hunger gnawing at my insides.
It was a hot, sunny day in midsummer. Rachel and I were sitting in the grass of my meadow with our bare feet dangling in the stream. She was holding my hand and smiling at me, and I was more than happy – I was home.
I tentatively touched her chin with my fingers. Then I leaned over and pressed my lips against hers. Before I could pull back she kissed me more forcefully. My arms encircled her waist. Her fingers explored my hair.
I drew back, my eyes filled with tears of joy. A small part of me knew I should be embarrassed, but I was with Rachel. She was my love. My happiness. My everything. My only. She was someone I didn't deserve, and she was greater than my wildest dreams. She didn't care if I cried.
I held her at arm's length so that I could stare at her face. I could've stared forever.
"I love you," I murmured, my heart so full it could've exploded.
"And I love you," she replied. She leaned forward and kissed me. I could feel her smile on my lips.
"I'm scared, Rachel," I said, stroking her hair.
"Why?" Rachel asked softly, her face still pressed against mine.
"I can't lose you, Rachel. I think I'll die without you. I have nothing else."
"Hey, let's enjoy our time together, okay? There's plenty of time to be sad."
Rachel shifted so that she was leaning against me, her head resting on my shoulder. I held her tight, like I'd never let her go.