A Little Chat

Donnie sighed in relief as he finally sat down in the living room after a long, hard day. Since practice that morning, he'd fixed Mikey's Xbox (broken during an "intense" gaming session - at least, that was what the orange-banded turtle had claimed), repaired Raph's Shell Cell (smashed while the hothead was out on patrol with Casey), and fixed the ancient toaster that still resided in the kitchen (the appliance had caught fire due to an "unfortunate incident" earlier that day - the cause of that incident Leonardo himself).

"What happened?!"

"I just wanted some toast!"

"It looks more like charcoal to me."

"Shut up, Mikey! It's not my fault the toast caught fire!"

"Well, you were the one who had the bright idea to dump water on it."

"WHY WOULD YOU DUMP WATER ON IT?!"

"It was smoking! How was I supposed to know not to pour water on it to put the fire out?!"

"Maybe because IT'S ELECTRONIC?! Electronics and water don't mix, Leo!"

"Well exCUSE me!"

Another sigh escaped Donnie's mouth and he shook his head, reaching for the laptop he and his brothers shared. Specifically, the laptop he and Leo shared - it was off-limits to Mikey because he had broken it so many times, and Raph didn't want to use it because he was more concerned with his muscles than anything else.

Leo had already been on the laptop earlier that day, and since he only used it a few times each week, that meant it was Donnie's for the rest of the evening...which suited the genius turtle just fine.

A small smile crossed his face and he opened up a few of his favorite news sites. He could already feel himself relaxing as he scanned the headlines. For once, there was almost no bad news - a fact that only made his smile grow bigger.

Donnie opened a new tab, fully intent on going to CNN's website to finish reading up on current events. But when he typed in the first letter in the address bar, something popped up that made him freeze.

The suggested website was the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Chat.

The purple-clad ninja opened up the browser history and quickly located what he was searching for. The Lifeline Chat had been visited three times that week. And all during the times when Leo had been using the computer.

Donnie's heart skipped a beat. Why would Leo go to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline Chat website unless...unless he was planning...

Dread and fear curled in his gut and he shot up from the couch, rushing to his oldest brother's bedroom. He didn't even bother to knock before barging into the room with a look of pure panic. "Don't do it!"

Leo glanced up from the book he was reading, a quizzical expression on his face. "...Don't do what, exactly?"

Donnie moved, desperately throwing his arms around Leo's neck. "Don't kill yourself. Please."

The eldest turtle blinked in stunned surprise. "I'm sorry?"

"I saw the browser history. You visited the Lifeline Chat earlier today, and earlier this week, too."

There. There was the reaction he'd been waiting for. Leo turned pale, his cobalt eyes widening. "Don, it's not what you think-"

"You can't kill yourself, Leo. We need you too much here for you to-"

"I'm not going to kill myself!"

Donnie flinched at the volume of the sentence. Leo flinched at the words.

"That came out wrong," he mumbled, dragging a hand over his face. "Look, Don, I...I'm not going to commit suicide."

"Then why were you on the chat?"

"Because I needed to talk to someone." Leo's shoulders sagged and he closed his book, setting it aside. "Sometimes it's just too damn much."

"Leo...why wouldn't you come to us? To me?"

"Do you know how awkward that would be? 'Oh, by the way, guys, I know I'm supposed to be your Fearless Leader, but I'm really feeling crappy about myself and my situation and I don't know if I can handle it.' I see that going over really well."

"But we're your family-"

"Which makes it ten times worse. You don't tell people you care about that you're not okay, Don. Then they don't know how to handle it, and you end up comforting them instead of the other way around."

"Leo." Donnie put a hand on his brother's shoulder, drawing his attention. "We may not understand at first, but we can get through it together. That's what family is for."

A scowl crossed the leader's face. For a moment it looked like he was going to argue. Then he sighed. "Splinter will be disappointed in me."

"Why?"

"Because I'm weak. I can't handle the stress and the responsibility and-"

"No man is an island. If you can't handle something, come to us. Need some fun, go to Mikey. Need to be carefree and irresponsible for a little while, go to Raph. Just want to talk and get some stuff off of your chest, come to me."

"But I'm supposed to bear the burden of leadersh-"

"Not by yourself. Not anymore."

As Donnie stood up, a fleeting look of panic crossed Leo's face. "Where are you going?"

"To talk to the guys. Something has to change, Leo. You should be able to come to your brothers before going to a complete stranger."

"But I-"

"Don't worry. I won't tell them about the chat thing. Just that you need a break once in a while, and we need to help you out with that. Okay?"

"...Okay."

Donnie's eyes softened. "We love you, Leo. You can come to us for anything. Don't you ever forget that."

And later that night, when Mikey pulled Leo close in a hug and asked if he wanted to play some Mario Kart, when Raph offered to take Leo out on the next patrol with Casey, Donnie gave his eldest brother a small smile.

Told you so.

Leo smiled back. And if his smile grew a little watery, well...that was just between the two of them.

A/N: The Lifeline Chat is a real thing, guys. It's available 24/7 in the USA, so if you ever need to talk (and you feel like you can't talk to your parents/friends/whoever) you can go there. They won't judge you. They'll simply offer you a listening ear and advice if you ask for it

All right, that's all I've got.

Please review.